The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Ha thanks @Lilgreygoose - I was being a prickly so-and-so and often say I'm the hardest of taskmasters - sometimes people are damned if they do and damned if they don't!

@tam23 Love your cat! What a beauty!

@FairyWren7 how lovely that you're fostering poor Avril - what a kind thing to do; I'm sure she'll thrive with you away from that horrible environment. I also hope it goes will with the surgeon today and that it will be cathartic letting him now how his comment made you feel. Useful too that he now might think twice about making the same comment.

@TopOfTheCliff wow your weekend in London sounds fun packed. And the photos are fab too.

@Penguinsa ohhhh chickens and soft silky ones to boot. How lovely! Can't wait to see Paddington - was it good?

@SierraSapphire what an idiot work colleague was asking you that in a meeting. I love that you didn't know what he was on about though - a sign of truly moving forwards!

My experience at the funeral on Monday was a bit of an exceptional one in that I'd personally told none of the people who asked me how I was that I had cancer. They were my DM's friends and husbands and, in one case, daughter of my age. DM is 84, widowed over 20 years, and I gave her carte blanche to talk to as many of her friends about it as helped her (and helped me re not having to discuss her worries!). Before I went on Monday, I did gulp to myself and think I've never been in a room with so many people who know I have/had (not sure which I am!) cancer before!

When I first was diagnosed, I was very controlled about who I told etc, only close friends (no DP, DC etc and they are like my family), but I also told my neighbours who I'm quite good friends with and I'm so glad I did as they were amazing. Since my treatment, I've found it quite liberating to be quite a lot more open about it. I told a random woman at the park recently whose dog has bounced back from stage 2 cancer - it just slipped out as I was giving him a cuddle! Most unlike me!

Interesting @Lilgreygoose re pelvic scan re thickening of womb and also the bloods for liver function. No one has mentioned this to me either @Penguinsa, though I see oncologist on 04/12 to discuss I guess onward steps/monitoring. I'm all gung ho about getting an MRI rather than mammo (lobular which didn't show up), but thanks for this info both as as will raise these too for tamoxifen use. Pharmacists so much more to be trusted re drugs in my experience compared to GPs, that is, and I guess that would make sense. Would hope however oncologists know the drugs they prescribe inside out, and suggest monitoring of their risks. Flipping heck, they go on enough about all the side effects you could experience in your pre-treatment appt - felt like I'd been read out the back of about 10 pill packets!

Thanks Sierra and *Lilgreygoose *for the checks information - I don't think they do any here despite what pharmacist has written - I've never had bloods or any checks done for Tamoxifen, was just told if bleed tell them and started in August 2022. I have had bloods done for other things and last was done August 2024 and fine so that is not a concern, its whether I should get a pelvic scan done, don't think there will be time to get it done here but at least am now aware, thanks.

PaperbackWrighter I loved Paddington, the kids are a similar age to mine and so the kids in the film have aged at the same rate which is nice. One of DSs friends from primary said after the last film our family was just like Paddington's and from the film its still true. 😂

Glad your DS is loving London and you had a good visit Top Think its a wonderful place to be in your 20s and 30s. Chickens are actually relatively easy as we have quite a few others here with chickens and a couple of neighbours who are obsessed with our chickens, I used to get regular e-mails from our next door neighbour asking after the chickens. Though currently looking more like it might be DD who would come out for the summer rather than the boys. We will see.

I keep thinking its after Christmas now, was so convincing my Christmas things. 😂Though need to reign in the sweet things again, mind you I was pleasantly surprised when I weighed myself as heard people say they put on weight after DIEP (not sure why) but I had stayed at bmi of 24.7. Though just after operation my stomach was flat and now its flat below belly button but about 1cm out above it, its not bad in the scheme of things and nothing at the sides which is good. But ideally need to lose that cm. They told me to massage but don't know if you can push that cm down, doubt it. Surgeon said it was swelling but think its more Christmas meal plus lots of mince pies and biscuits.

Your Christmas sounds fun @Penguinsa and it's good to hear recovery from the surgery is going well.

After my joy at finishing treatment I've had all the winter bugs so am generally feeling a bit rubbish at the moment and also seem to have hospital appointments coming out my ears. I'll be pleased when I don't have to go there any more.

On a happier note my eyebrows seem to be growing back.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Hooray for eye brows 🥳 it’s the little things!

Your Christmas food sounds delightful @Penguinsa . I am trying my hardest to not indulge my sweet tooth at the moment but Christmas Day will be another matter. I seem to have reached a steady weight which is 10kg less than I was before diagnosis. I went shopping for a new dress during the week as I’m attending a posh charity lunch tomorrow. The last time I went shopping for this event was two years ago and I remember hating the experience. This time I was sending changeroom selfies to DD who was at the hairdresser and getting thumbs up responses for all. Except for one that had us both in fits as it made me look like a giant marshmallow but we blamed the dress for that not me!

DD has her school formal on Monday night and while I breathed a sigh of relief when the dress was purchased I didn’t bargain on 2 days of shopping for shoes and accessories. So instead of my usual Saturday routine of sitting under a tree with DH watching DS play cricket I’ll be hitting up the shops again in search of the elusive perfect handbag. Then she’s off on a holiday with her friends next week as exciting grown up life continues, including 3 PT jobs to pay for it all!

@FairyWren7 I hope all went well with the surgeon and you are doing ok.

@demivolte good news on the eyebrow front. I’m getting mine tinted today. Can’t blame chemo for their dreadful state it’s just ageing and too many greys making them vanish.

@demivolte when I had my last Zolendronic acid infusion and the nurse said I wouldn’t need any more appointments with oncology I cried! It was such a magical realisation that I was finished with treatment.
I hope the bugs leave you alone now.
@Remaker you will look back fondly on those exhausting days out shopping with DD. They grow up and away so quickly. I find that ABBA song Slipping through my Fingers very emotional. Clearly I am a big ball of sentimental mush these days!
I am in a hotel alone tonight while DH rides his bike for 20 hours with his brethren. I’m winning! I had a lovely yoga class today where we did a Moon Salutation as it is full moon tonight. I was so happy my body is functioning again. I have had a good week of exercise and sorting stuff and eating healthily. It feels like a good routine to follow. Slowly but surely I am getting back to a shape I like.
Happy weekend folks.

Eyebrows growing back - yay! Chin hair - not so much, there were some benefits to chemo (as well as getting rid of the any cancer cells obvs).

I spent yesterday painting my living room, a bit more to do today. There have been five viewings so far on DM's house, but none of them likely to make an offer for reasons out of our control, one more viewing today, then I suspect it will go quiet after the initial interest and before Christmas. I'm finding it more stressful than I expected even though nothing much is really happening! Also some probate information seems to have gone missing on the way to one of the banks, possibly my own stupid fault for not sending it recorded. My DB is very impatient to have the money to buy a car, so I'm feeling a bit stressed out by that too, though I think he's being a little bit inappropriate. Going round to DM's in a bit to check everything is alright for the viewing, then getting my haircut. One more week at work, which has also been hectic and I'm off to see DD for a few days. I have done loads of exercise this week though something different every day!

Thanks Demivolte Yes its great when the hospital visits end, hope its not too long for you and you have a good weekend.

Thanks Remaker Well done on the weight loss and so good that things look great.

Enjoy your time with DD Sierra

Well done on the exercising and healthy eating Top

I am still building up exercise again post surgery, 8 weeks out now, did a 2 hour walk at RHS Wisley yesterday including some uphill slopes though was achy around the hips and the back and feeling like an 80 year old by the end after starting off feeling more like 30. It was cooler at 10C but lovely to be out and see the flowers that are left and the Christmas lights were already in place and on though not officially opened yet. I even let DH take a few photos of me and didn't delete them, I have really struggled with having photos taken cancer treatment on, just seeing reminders of treatment but now having had DIEP and hair is back to chin length the photos don't remind me of cancer treatment anymore. My BMI is now at 24.7 which is similar to what is was pre cancer (though had gone up from quite a bit lower BMI pre lockdown which ideally I would reach again) but feel so much better for having DIEP. Feel normal again. Obviously got scars but they are not as bad as I feared and quite easy to cover and all the feeling is back - around the stomach its only partial but not bad at all. Having a roast today.

Hi All,

Had a really busy weekend here which was nice. My husbands folks were down from Queensland. So we went to a Viking themed restaurant up in the city on Friday night and Saturday went and saw falconry, jousting and fighting at a castle - it was a decent event! Yesterday I was really tired and we just saw Gladiator II had food out and did the food shopping.

The surgeon appointment was ok. I didn’t say anything, there wasn’t a right moment. I think I just have a really strong response to people talking about my body as if it is an object. Anyway he seems happy with it, as much as you can be. I’ve got an ultrasound scan at some point just to be sure.

Hayfever season and also smoke here in Victoria at the moment due to the bushfires. My eyes and respiratory system are not happy.

@Remaker its good you’ve lost weight. Hope your eyebrows look good. I’m just glad I’ve got hair again. I did actually dye it last week and it made me feel more like myself again.

The little rescue dog was very sweet but unfortunately kept going for our cat (who was also a rescue one) so she’s had to find another home. Bit of a shame but existing animals need to take precedent.

This week is going to be trying to sort out what’s happening with the surgery. I’m due a diep procedure and it looks as if the public lists are really long - it’s already been over a year, nearer to eighteen months and I think I’m looking at another two to three years wait according to the nurse. I’m not physically comfortable. My right side feels pressured a lot of the time. So we are looking at private options.

At this point I’m wondering what to do re work. It’s tricky. I need to earn some money. But then I’ll end up with potentially 8 weeks recovery time. My mental health is a lot better than it was (for those that are new to the thread I had 6 prior surgeries - including a partial hysterectomy, and then a complete hysterectomy due to precancerous cells - two weeks apart, the year before I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then ended up with dvts and a pulmonary embolism due to the chemo during treatment. So I’ve had a lot of ups and downs plus significant gynae issues for years.)

But the biggest issue currently for me is I feel different over here to how I do back in the UK. In the UK I was creative, busy, happy - here I feel a bit stagnant. It’s odd. I think I just like the space I get when I’m travelling and seeing friends as we all do. It’s tricky.

@SierraSapphire I dropped in to see my favourite cousin on Saturday. She is selling up her DMs farm which is a big deal. She has one DB saying “Hurry up I want my share, just throw everything away and get on with it!” And the other DB saying “There’s no hurry, I want to keep my stuff stored in the barn for as long as possible”. Neither of them are helping her so we agreed she should ignore them and go at her own pace.
@FairyWren7 did you access some counselling? It sounds like it would help you understand some of the conflicting feelings you have. You have been through so much!
I cancelled a three day cycling trip today because the weather is not good enough for my gang of ladies. It is a shame but I didn’t want them all to moan they were cold, wet, miserable etc. We will go in the spring instead. I’ve been decorating, tidying, and booking up useful things like a haircut and a MacBook repair. DH is fitting nice new electric sockets for me with USB points in them. Rainy weather is good for our house! Now off to Pilates feeling virtuous.

Shame to cancel the cycling trip @TopOfTheCliff but sounds like you had a productive weekend. Your weekend sounded fun and busy @FairyWren7 - shame about the rescue dog but agree existing pets must come first and she will find somewhere else without cats and terrorising opportunities! I know how you feel needing to earn money. I have my freelance work and some lovely clients but since cancer there's a lot less of it and I may need to start looking for something permanent.

I have the first part of the Moving Forward course tomorrow. Fingers crossed I get a good bunch and experience!

Random question - I wondered if anyone could recommend a good paint brand to use that's low in nasties. Maybe even organic. It's for a garden office I had built in my garden - put down the deposit pre diagnosis and then blew all my savings on it after (maybe not the brightest idea). Anyway, I'll be sitting in it up to (potentially, hopefully!) 8 hours a day 5 times a week so I wanted a paint that's healthy as can be!! Anyone know any they could recommend? I've heard Lakeland are good, maybe Farrow & Ball. I know expensive but it's just for one small room that will be get used a lot!

I should've said it's for the inside walls and ceiling, which are all plastered over plasterboard!

Lovely to hear of nice adventures and house progress.
@Penguinsa wonderful that you are happy to have your pic taken!
lovely mini break in Birmingham to see Monty Don who was very entertaining. All looking v festive.
Back to emergency dentist appt- have struggled with teeth recently, wondered whether shift to tamoxifen had an impact on jaw pain, now need root canal treatment- due 5th zolendronic next week so that will be delayed…. Anyone else had teeth problems post chemo/ radio/ ai/ tamox?
no ideas re paint, @PaperbackWrighter - didn’t know it was a thing? Except lead paint of old?

Thanks TheSandwich Glad you had a lovely mini break. I have not had any teeth issues but I've heard of so many cancer patients having major issues I think its really common. I'm on Tamoxifen and been on it over 2 years now, it is bad for teeth. I have a private dentist whose been great but left recently. He prescribed me extra fluoride toothpaste for about 2 years though now back on the normal colgate but think it helped.

Paper Hope Moving Forward course is useful. I did one and it was OK. Paint never used anything special, have used Farrow and Ball before and was fine but saw there's a thread running on someone who had a disaster with F&B eggshell paint cracking (trouble with eggs I guess!) and someone said you need everything F&B including primer or not eggshell. We had no issues with one we used but just used it as the other companies pinks weren't the right shade and kept looking like a marshmallow and F&B was more like a rose. My oncologist said not to worry about things like that and just everything in moderation with food / drink etc when I asked about lead in clothes. She was meh.

Well done on decorating Top

Glad you had a good weekend Fairywren

DD went rowing at 6am in the snow this morning at university, admire her energy levels. Since Wisley have just been getting things ready to move abroad, today was trying to set up a bank account there. In theory I am not supposed to carry anything until week 12 but go at week 10, currently week 8 just finished, here its fine as DH can help though I have lifted the 8kgs of Floof a few times and my stomach just feels tight then its fine. DH will drop me at the airport and I will be picked up after the second flight so its just inbetween the two flights and the overnight hotel stay. We opened the Christmas biscuits with the musical tin and Floof was so impressed that we then got out the Christmas gramophone and Floof has been in love with jingle bells bouncing his tail to it. Though was trying to get it played at 5.45am this morning which I managed to put back to 7.30am.

The F&B pink wasn't Setting Plaster by any chance @Penguinsa? I love the thought of Floof bouncing his tail to Jingle Bells and laughed at his wanting it played 5.45am! When are you moving abroad - is it this side of Xmas?

This is the thread on F&B paint

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_decoration_pictures/5211103-fb-eggshell-nightmare

I going abroad to work at the start of December so less than 2 weeks now.

Thank you so much- that's v helpful. 2 weeks to go - how exciting!

I've just done my walls and woodwork in Farrow and Ball dead flat and it was absolutely fine with no undercoat. Smelled a little bit but not very bad!

Thanks @Penguinsa . Love the Floof stories! Can you request assistance with luggage etc to transfer flights? There must be facilities for this.

Little Greene, Gorgeous range of colours, really low in vocs, we have moved to this from Fired Earth. They have a partnership with the National Trust.
https://www.littlegreene.com/eco-friendly-interiors

@FairyWren7 you’ve really been through the wringer, it’s no wonder you’re unsettled. We are in the opposite situation with DH being English and I’m Australian. I don’t think it’s about a place being better, it’s about feeling secure and comfortable and just ‘right’ where you live. And for some of us those feelings intensify when you’re under pressure. I can’t remember if you have been seeing a counsellor? I’m sure I’ve probably mentioned before you can get a Medicare funded care plan from your GP which will subsidise various services including psychological support as part of your recovery.

I hadn’t seen DM who is 89 for a couple of weeks as her care home had a covid outbreak while DD was doing her final exams and I didn’t want to take any risks. I took her to the hospital for a checkup last week and as soon as I saw her I noticed a huge skin cancer on her face that had blown up very quickly. She said it was painful but of course she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone gah! And the carers and nurses who see her every day had ignored it too. I requested a GP visit and he said she needs a dermatology consult and possibly a plastic surgeon as it’s so big and on her face. What happens to the poor souls who don’t have any family to advocate for them? So frustrating.

@Penguinsa wow your big adventure is fast approaching! I look forward to hearing all about it.

That's good to know @SierraSapphire - thank you! My testing pot of F&B setting plaster has just arrived, so I will see what I think.

Thank you so much @Hiris - I will have a look through the colours. I have heard others say how good they are too.

So sorry to hear that about your DM @FairyWren7 and, exactly, what happens when there aren't family or friends to advocate for? Glad the GP was on it and has referred DM.

Well, my experience of Moving Forward yesterday was excellent. I went with mixed feelings about how it might be but think I was lucky to get a really good one. Lovely bunch of women (the facilitator was brilliant and works as a therapist too so she was able to work well with anything out of the ordinary that cropped up). We think we're going to form a whatsapp group, at her suggestion. A lot of us bonded in the session, especially through doing activities in pairs and threes.

The one downside (apart from the freezing town hall!) that the woman sitting next to me represented the decision I didn't take when I was given the option to have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Like me, she had lobular and like me was told she could have either L or M, her choice. She chose a mastectomy as felt much less risk (given that lobular doesn't always present like others and that she said it doesn't respond as well to chemo - tho not sure if this is true). Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about it since - the what ifs and questioning whether I made the right decision. But I had my counselling this morning and talked about it there. Just read that the counsellors give their time for free to the cancer centre. Wonderful people, really.

Hope you are all having good weeks and for those of us in the UK keeping as warm as can be. Brrr! xx