The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

@PaperbackWrighter I am glad that you had a good experience at Moving Forward. It may be a blessing in disguise that the lady next door highlighted a sore spot for you so you can talk it through now and not let it fester.
It is jolly cold here, we had unexpected snow too so I was quite glad my evening out got cancelled. This whole week has been rejigged due to the weather but I have achieved quite a lot at home. Today I filled the van again and went to the Recycling Centre. The poor men there were so cold! I offered to take them hot drinks tomorrow as I am a regular down there. I have cleared another room ready for decorating after I have finished my current project. I have managed to change my relationship to the clutter/treasure/hoard or at least my share of it. I just want to have nicely decorated rooms that are useable and not stuffed with things! The things will just be rubbish to my DC when I am gone.

I also helped out a friend in a pickle. She had surgery on Monday then had a post op haemorrhage and was rushed back in for another operation. She is in the middle of a house purchase so I printed off the documents for her and witnessed her signature while she is in hospital. She nearly died! It’s rather nice to be a supporter and not the centre of the drama.
Now I am going to wrap up and go out to my hot tub where it is 2 degrees!

I am most envious of your house renovation @TopOfTheCliff I had to abandon ours when diagnosed. I just couldn’t face the daily 6am starts to be up and dressed by 7am. My poor house looks like it’s made of spare parts (I managed to get most of the exterior sorted) but it’s still got its old paint job in places. Getting that sorted in the spring when it’s warm enough to paint is definitely part of my “return to normal”.

@PaperbackWrighter I know what you mean about choices. Like you I had a lumpectomy but recently an acquaintance in similar circumstances opted for a bilateral mastectomy. While I have some buyer’s remorse at odd times, I know “in my heart” I would have not coped well with all that would have entailed at the time, and indeed would be ongoing now. Yes, I may have kicked the can down the road a bit if I’m unlucky, but so be it. I may also be hit by a bus tomorrow in which case, had I had the full job, it would have been all for naught anyway. I hope you figure out how to come to terms with your decision.

I had my 6 month follow up this week. It went really badly. I was told there weren’t enough images of the cancer bed to effectively give the NED speech. I was told they were going to speak to radiology to find out if it’s a location thing (tricky location to get images) and if it wasn’t I’d be called back for further imaging. I had already been called back for more images twice during my imaging appointment so I left feeling very low.

While I was driving home after, I got a call from the surgeon saying they found another folder of images and everything looks fine.

It’s taken me two days to calm down from the RAGE I have for them putting me through that , but I’m feeling a bit better about it now.

In other news, my darling little cat is not well. She’s deeply disgusted about having to wear an inflatable collar to stop her over grooming.
Pic for tax as I know there is a cat tax.

I hope you enjoyed the hot tub @TopOfTheCliff and very good of you to offer hot drinks to the guys at the dump. Sorry to hear of your friend's illness and hope she's on the mend. It was great she had you on hand to help with the house purchase stuff.

@Lilgreygoose that sounds like such a hard experience at your six-month follow up - to go through all that then he blithely rings you when you're on your way home and says found it, all looks fine! I hate the way they just dangle these horrible things in front of us, to pull back and say oh no it's OK actually. I mean obviously there's the relief that it's OK, but why do we need to go through it in the first place?

The whole thing with the 'here's the decision you didn't take' is tricky. I have a woman in my book group who had lobular and a bilateral mastectomy, a doctor in fact, and she's often told me well it's so much less likely to come back for her. But I was told by my team lumpectomy & radio was just as safe and effective. So I think I need to cling to that!

I'm sorry about your cat - she does not look pleased at all about the monstrosity around her neck - how could you? Seriously, though, I hope she is doing better today and that she gets better soon. Our pets are so precious.

Hi everybody - have been lurking but enjoying hearing your news. I am tentatively running again a little bit - hard but nice to be out there again, and doing some strength training. And I'm another one with house projects on - we have got new sofas for our posh living room which we hardly ever use (we also have a sitting area off the kitchen, and it's much cosier so we always just sit there). The sofas look great, and we are now choosing rugs, cushions etc to make it inviting. I'm looking forward to cosying up in there this winter. We have also just committed to a garage conversion so we can have a home gym - mainly for DH, but I will probably use it a bit too. We have wanted it doing for ages, but struggling to find a good builder, but have just found a builder with a great reputation, who had an unexpected December gap and could fit us in at short notice. Of course, this means that we need to clear all the accumulated junk out of the garage asap. A challenge - but it's good to be moving forwards.

Thank you for getting it @PaperbackWrighter My dearest friend can’t seem to understand why I’m not just delighted with the news and can’t seem to get why I was so angry and distressed. (It’s a team of she’s by the way - all three at the appointment were women. Surgeon, her sidekick who takes notes and drives the computer and my dedicated nurse)

New sofas sound lovely @dotty2 What kind of look and feel are you aiming for? Everything in the shops here is traditional/very Nancy Meyers at the moment.

@dotty2 I have a huge sitting room I don’t sit in as it’s a bit draughty unless we light the wood burner and DH never sits down anyway. It’s great when the family visit but I prefer my cosy little room upstairs with the TV.
@Lilgreygoose I had to Google Nancy Meyers but I do approve of her aesthetic. Very tasteful and calming! I had an all female team for my surgery, except for the porter who carried my bag down from radiology to theatres.
I’ve got heartburn this week. The nausea has morphed into a spiky pain in my chest that goes into my back, Typical acid reflux but very annoying. I have bought some acid suppressants but will go to my GP if it doesn’t settle soon. It is keeping me awake and slightly frightening me.

Yes, Nancy Meyers is very calming. I try (but fail) to emulate her aesthetic. I’m more Facebook marketplace meets ikea. But it’s quite a nice rabbit hole to go down when you’re awake and need some distracting.

@TopOfTheCliff a big pile of pillows sometimes helps me. Is it Boniva related? (Not sure if it’s the same name where you are - the meds to counteract the osteoporosis that you have to be upright for)

Sorry to hear about your reflux @TopOfTheCliff , I had severe reflux all the way through treatment and know it is very unpleasant. Omeprazole helped me (IV at one point) but it does of course have side effects. I'm trying to vaguely follow a low acid diet but it is very dull. I hope yours settles soon.

I found decision making around surgery to be really difficult and I think it is normal to wonder if a different choice would have been better. I had a mastectomy and sometimes wonder if I should have had a lumpectomy, but I think about it less now. I also think it was the right decision at the time - and had I gone for lumpectomy I would have then questioned if that was the right thing to do.

I have had a productive week as my mole biopsy came back as low grade early changes only, so overall benign. I also had a lump in my mastectomy scar scanned and that was deemed to be soft tissue. So hopefully this is the start of a new trend of not having cancer.

@Remaker Thanks for asking. Yes I’ve got a great counsellor. I’ve had a couple of sessions in the last couple of weeks. It’s helped.

I had such a ridiculously great time in the UK. It wasn’t representative of real life or of what living there would be like. I think it was just a special summer, a few of my friends were in the same head space so it all just came together. And it will again when I go back next year (fingers crossed for Dad’s 80th)

We’ve just got back from a camping weekend which was great. Climbing up a huge sand dune nearly killed me but we had a good time for novices anyway…So we’ll plan another trip. It’s cheap and cheerful and gets us out and about!

I’ve applied for a job with the charity I really like, the lady that interviewed me last time got in touch to let me know they had another role going. If I don’t get anywhere I’m going to get myself a basic admin role, build up experience with the volunteering.

In the meantime I’ve got Alpacca sitting and will try and do a few days supply.

@Remaker how’s your job search going?
Does your husband miss the UK? Does his family live there?

@Lilgreygoose love the cat pic - hope she feels better soon!
I think unless you’ve felt ‘the fear’ you just don’t get it. I’m very up and down with this myself.

It’s all a bit of a gamble anyway… difficult being at that midlife point anyway without all the crap that cancer throws at you. I’m making an assumption that most of us in the thread are 40s/50s/60s?

@Lilgreygoose and @demivolte Agreed re the thoughts surrounding the decisions are tricky. I had a bilateral mastectomy as I had cancer in both sides and was BRAC1 - due to the other issues I had I couldn’t have the reconstruction completed so I now find myself with potentially a long wait time. Every niggle makes me wonder. It was obviously the right thing to do in my situation but dear god getting myself into surgery was the hardest thing I hope I will ever have to do.

@TopOfTheCliff I had some reflux this week too - a weird little tip I’ve picked up is that if you drink cooled boiled water it can settle it.

Going to look at camping sites now… I need to get fitter!

That sounds hopeful re charity role Fairywren and beautiful picture.

Its really windy and rainy here this weekend so just been inside packing for move abroad, a week to go now.

Thanks @FairyWren7 that tip helped! Five days of omeprazole seems to be working. The pain has settled today, fingers crossed that’s it.
I hope those of you in the UK survived Storm Bert intact. Round here we had awful floods but up on our cliff we have been dry. I spent the weekend painting bathrooms and prepping my sitting room for the carpet which comes tomorrow. I have been cooking some lovely healthy plant based meals. I watched Chris Van Tulleken’s UPF foods programme on Monday and it has reinforced my belief that almost all food on sale today is bad for you. Tonight supper was a lovely bean puttanesca with salmon. DH is cheerfully eating everything I cook him. He has been a gem rewiring the sockets in my room and repairing the floor.
The weather has stopped me cycling much but I am keeping busy decluttering and recycling.
How are you doing folks?

Glad you're feeling a bit better Top, bad flooding in my town on Sunday night, though I'm up north with DD. Had a lovely time, shopping, eating, mooching, tennis and yoga. Have a gig tonight so I'm having to limit the amount of walking I do during the day so my hips are up to dancing later 😂.

Hope it's all going well for you getting ready @Penguinsa

Re: treatment decisions I turned down radiotherapy - I made the decision after reading a lot of research in medical journals. My oncologist at the time wasn't really supportive or unsupportive, I felt I made the decision on my own, but my new consultant in gynae rather than medical oncology was really supportive and said my approach was how other countries actually treated it.

Glad you had a lovely time Sierra

Good you are getting better Top

Flight dates have been moved back to mid Jan and I will start with wfh from start Dec which is better. Happy that I will be home for DD coming back from uni for Xmas on 7th and Christmas here, and also DS's birthday.

DD has had Oxmas at university. I gave DS an early Christmas present of a ipad but will be here now so guess he'll get more presents. Got DHs in advance as well and he's done mine. Going to have a lot of Christmases this year. 😆Been to an all day online conference today with academics and researchers about the island and was very interesting. DH seems rather underwhelmed I am staying longer, might have ruined his plans. 😂Though might be tired from yesterday, was out going up north from 6am to nearly 9pm.

@Penguinsa it seems to me your DH has been fabulous. He has supported you through the whole cancer fandango, and then when you get better and decide to upend your life and go off to your island he takes it all in his stride. I am sure he will adjust and that he is just weary. There is a lot on his shoulders with your DS to look after too.
I am watching the breakfast news in my pretty little sitting room while DH sleeps on in bed. Result! I am now going through all the books photos and paperwork I removed for decorating as only the worthy are going back in. I think DH is being inspired to make his office a bit nicer having seen my example.

@Penguinsa I think I must have missed your moving news? Are you moving for work? Where are you moving too?

I’m toying with a move myself. The dog and I are housesitting down in the country and keeping an eye on some chickens and alpacas. I love it down here. It’s green, rolling and quiet. There is room to swing a cat should I want to.

Our house is nice but it isn’t really ‘the Aussie dream’ - I’m starting to think that I need to be getting more out of living over here. After all what’s the point otherwise?

I could be just as cramped living in Kent! But I’d be able to visit my parents for Sunday lunch!

I want to live for now. It’s balancing that and all the other stuff.

Fairywren Yes I am moving to a remote island in the south Atlantic ocean for work so quite the move but fascinating and exciting. Start on Monday but move mid Jan. Hope you can find something great for you, agree about re-evaluating after cancer, I never would have been brave enough to apply for this pre cancer but it makes you realise you only live once and may as well experience as much as possible.

Good to enjoy decorating Top

Hope everyone has a good weekend. We have just had the cleaners round as banned still from hoovering post surgery though have done a bit but cleaners are amazing and love them and always lovely to have house done.

DH and I had a wonderful evening out at the botanical gardens here which has its Christmas light show on and we found a couple of neighbours there and had a tarteflette (DH being French was very happy) and hot chocolate with cream with them and chatted and got about 1.5 hours of walking done. Most amazing lights. Traffic was awful to go there, took 1.5 hours more than it should but fine on way back. Was glad DH loved it. I spent an hour cleaning after, good to have that done and an hours more exercise for me.

DD back in a week, will be lovely to have her back. DS has also started putting the silkies to bed.

Hi everyone, lovely to be reading all of your news. Your sitting room sounds lovely and restful @Top. The guy finishes painting my new garden office today which I'm v excited about!

@Penguinsa this is the first time I realised your island was in the middle of the Atlantic - wow how exciting! I mean I guessed it wasn't the IOW or something, but didn't realise it was as exotic! How long will you be based there for? Thanks for sharing the Xmas light show pics - gorgeous! So jealous of tartiflette.

I hear you @FairyWren7 about wanting to live for now but balancing the other stuff. I made the decision to go ahead and blow my savings on garden office, but now realise I can't go on holiday abroad for about 5 or 6 months and that's not living and who knows what's in the future so I need to be going on holiday now!

The countryside where you're staying sounds idyllic. I think we might need to see a picture of an alpaca or two!

One thing I wanted to add, is anyone else in the UK finding all the news about the Assisted Dying Bill voted on yesterday, a bit hardgoing? I'm having to switch off the radio fairly often as yet another person is interviewed relaying yet another anecdote that I could do without hearing.

@PaperbackWrighter I think I watched the debate with a certain detachment. It seems easier to think that "those people" might need help but I am not among them. I did wonder thought whether when faced with a serious diagnosis of cancer and a short prognosis some folks might decide to go for a managed exit rather than go through palliative treatment. I am sorry you found it upsetting.
I reached a milestone today. I completed my first ever 5k Parkrun! I have been attending on and off for four years since our local group set up 5k your way Move Against Cancer and I have only ever done one or two laps. Today I did all three and got my token to log my time! I was so proud and I wasn't even the last to finish. It is fun as my DD comes too, and her boss the head of oncology, and the surgeon who did my second and third operation. They are so happy to see me thriving.
I am now home making gallons of soup for a big cycle event tomorrow. Last night DH and I went out dressed as Mr and Mrs Santa Claus on decorated bikes and did a protest ride at the local harbour light switch on It's never dull round here.
Hope you are all keeping busy, it is dank and drizzly here.

Thanks Paper Enjoy your newly decorated garden office sounds lovely. Its for several years though a lot will depend on how everything goes there and here but the job is perfect.

Assisted dying I have avoided listening too, and the taking benefits off the vulnerable the same, both am concerned about though I do understand people in great pain wanting to die. I just worry about the pressure put on the vulnerable.

Hi everyone I’ve woken up and realised it’s the 1st December. Where did the year go? On one hand gah I’ve been unemployed for a year. On the other, soon I’ll be able to say ‘I had cancer a couple of years ago’. It feels good watching it get smaller in the rear view mirror.

@FairyWren7 DH does miss England, or aspects of it. The football! His family and friends. Somewhat ironically he misses British summers. I get what he means- when the weather is good there everyone gets out and makes the most of it and the atmosphere is joyous! Here everyone whinges about the heat and we take sunshine for granted as it will be back again tomorrow. We plan to spend a decent amount of time in the UK when we are retired. We are still tossing up whether to downsize our house so we can be mortgage free and be able to really enjoy life. DS has one more year of school left and then I think we should go for it. But it’s so overwhelming deciding where to live! DH is yearning for somewhere more beachy whereas I’m more of a city girl. We’d stay in Sydney as DS will probably live at home for Uni and DD will come home in the holidays.

Job search continues unsuccessfully. It’s on hold for a week as DH and I are off to Brisbane tomorrow to watch DS play cricket.

@TopOfTheCliff I’m glad to hear your reflux has settled. It’s a horrible pain and used to really disturb my sleep when I had it. Well done on the Parkrun success! I am not a runner, prefer a brisk walk. but DH enjoys it. Alas his joints do not appreciate roads and footpaths. I’ve been encouraging him to try Parkrun but he’s worried about being slow and feeling embarrassed.

@Penguinsa I have probably said it before but I am in awe of your adventurous spirit. Here I am tying myself in knots over possibly moving to a different house in the same city haha!! Can’t wait to see pics.

@Remaker I know what you mean about time passing. My husband just seems to accept it, that I’m job hunting - no pressure from him at all. (All the pressure comes from me and my own brain!)
I go through patches of enthusiasm and then slumps re the job hunt.

Current mood is ‘escape to the country’!

@PaperbackWrighter - the alpccas are seriously cute and daft! I managed to tickle the friendly one who is called Ollie today. Ollie is the gormless looking one below. The dog wants to be their friend!

The chickens really like oats, they get excited - did I mention I got a double yolker the other day. It was warm when I picked it up.

I’ve now got a wish list of three houses all of which have decent sized plots!

@Penguinsa That’s great! What’s your line of work? I moved from the Uk to Brunei - that was a huge trip. It opened up a world of travel for me. New friends and experiences. Changed my life and set me on a different path.

I also found the debate about assisted dying quite hard to listen to - in fact I avoided the news where I could on Thurs, Fri and yesterday.

I've been with 3 people as they've died, two of them from cancer, one from pneumonia and sepsis, and their deaths have been very peaceful and as far as I can tell, pain free. The advocates of assisting dying all seem to portray the end of life as traumatic for both the dying and their relatives. I think it scares a lot of people who haven't sat with someone as they die, making death sound an horrendous ordeal. I don't want people to put pressure on relatives because they are scared about what they think they will witness.

It disturbs me that in the Bill there are measures that will allow Dr's to suggest assisted dying to patients - totally unacceptable imo.

I also think that the Bill has made many people with disabilities feel very vulnerable. In a way it shows how the lives of those with disabilities are rated as somehow "lesser" - an idea compounded by the Gov with its relentless banging on about "working" people and the "economically inactive". I know that many people with disabilities and ill heath work but in our culture we seem not to appreciate that or to want to protect and care for those who can't work.

@MissMarplesNiece sometimes when I read MN I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe, where 70 year olds are ancient (my mum was sprightly at 70!) and all deaths are horrendous which wasn’t the case for my dad or grandparents.

@FairyWren7 I love those alpacas! So cute. I dream of escaping to the country but I grew up in the country and it wasn’t that great haha. Narrow minded attitudes and terrible health services. If I could be within striking distance of a major city that could be the best of both worlds I think.

Occasionally I think we should retire to the Sunshine Coast but one morning in Brisbane has eliminated that idea. It’s only 30 degrees but so humid. I was a sweaty mess at 9am! Currently hiding in the aircon in our apartment before we tackle a pub quiz tonight.