Just had the phone call to say ....STEVE IS COMING HOME ON MONDAY !

[onlyjoking9329]

been a bit of a day really, steve not very good today so lots of cuddles and morphine given.
Steves SW phoned to say she had 3 messages to ring steves Mum but she wanted to speak to me and the Mac nurse before she spoke to his mum.
steves mum had also phoned the Mac nurse as she wanted her to "sort me out"
Steves mum was told that she needs to be civil with me and sort things out.
steves Mum told the Mac nurse that they were coming tonight at 6.30 even thou they hadn't got back to me about it.
i got a text from steves brother to say they would be here at 7.
i had two mates here one to sit in with steve in case they started giving steve crap and one to sit with me.
they came at 7 steves mum didn't speak and his brother said hello to me, they walked throu and ignored the kids
they sat and chatted to steve and then as they got up to leave they said to steve i don't know when we will see you next cos Jo won't let us see you as they left the room my mate said there was no need for that and they started the shouting and swearing they came throu to me and my mates and continued their abuse telling my mates that it was nothing to do with them and got quite abusive, the carer came in and they started being abusive to me and him.
i was shaking with rage but i didn't lose it with them and then they left, i am so fed up with this and Steve is so confused he doesn't know whats happening.

sorry you have to put up with all of this, as if you haven't got enough on your plate.

What the FUCK is wrong with these people!! FFS, it is not about THEM, this should be about STEVE, they are so self absorbed and selfish that they cannot see that they are marring the time he has left. I just want to shake them - they sound like CUNTS, im sorry but really, im livid for you OJ.

There, rant over - no wonder you need a drink sometimes OJ, just know that you are the one he loves and needs. They will have to live with the way they have behaved for a long long time, shame on them.

OJ am gobsmacked

What can I say ?

They are utterly heartless to treat you like this

oj, sadly they don't really care about Steve at all, or they would be spending far more time with him, and not wasting all this energy being pissy with you.

Reading what you just wrote made me shake with anger for you. Poor Steve and poor you.

Honestly, given how poor his memory is now, he is not going to know if they have been or not. I honestly think you should block them from visiting and cut them out of all your lives. It will be no loss for you or thekids (or Steve )

Hugs, darling ]

(((((OJ)))))

They can try but they will not break me i am secure in steves love for me and mine for him. we have nearly 18 years of memories they can't take that away from us. i hate what they are doing in front of steve it is so not fair

Oh no not again

Did Steve's brother not try and calm her down- please don't tell me he joined in

Jo I KNOW you want Steve to be able to see them and vice versa but really you can't have them in your house behaving like that

oj you truly are amazing.
words fail me on their behaviour.

did they do this in front of the children?

Frankly, I'm that mil ignored her own grandchildren

i would limit them to one person at a time and maybe they wont be so mouthy to you all without having anyone else with them to back them up,I am disgusted at the behaviour they are showing to you and your family.Glad your mates stick up for you.Evil bloody people

stevs brother joined in and was waving his finger in front of the carers nose whilst telling him it was nothing to do with him, he had a go at my mate telling him he was a fucking twat
i will talk to the SW and Mac nurse tomorrow they were talking about injuctions but i sadi i didn't want to do that for steves sake.
the kids wer in bed when they kicked of, but that is three vists and three lots of abuse, i will need to re think things

So sad for you and Steve

Karma will get them I feel

OJ, I just can't believe that their actions can get any worse and yet they always seem to reach to reach new depths. I am so very sorry that you have this cr*p to deal with. It is not fair. I hope the SW and Mac nurse back you all the way. Sorry to hear that Steve didn't have a good day either. You must be emotionally and physically exhausted. Please try & get some rest tonight. xxx

i am worn out but i can't calm down enough to sllep these days. steve has just had norphine so he will sleep the night hopefully

as you can tell from my typing i have had Rum

I never thought I'd say this Jo but I think you should go down the injunction route

Steve does not deserve this stress- and you deserve nothing but love, thanks, support and all the other good things I can think of.

This has brought tears to my eyes- I thought his brother was the one person you could count on to be reasonable.

From everything you've said you would have the carers, the Mac nurse, the SWs and the hospice doctors to back you up if you went that way, oj - yes it is sad and awful and unbelievable but you need and deserve a bit of peace yourself, love.

Please think about it. They are not helping or supporting Steve - you are doing it all by yourself. Thank god you have good friends there.

Oh OJ - this is not what you need. Is there a professional, eg SW, who could mediate between you and MIL - in a proper conversation at a neutral location - so it's not in front of Steve and you can both put your points across?

At the moment I fear that you are painted black by all the relatives, and they are not going to listen to any of your reasons for the visiting rules in place, as they see the rules as being made just to pick on them.

I hope you get some sleep tonight - tomorrow is another day

Love to you, Steve and the kids
T x

Oh, Jo.. what a horrible day it must have been.
I really don't know how you can resolve this, I have a feeling that although an injunction might give you the space and peace that you so desperately need and deserve, it might also exacerbate things more.
I have a friend who practices as a family law solicitor in the centre of the city, she is lovely should you need to make some enquiries.
Try and sleep- I can imagine how incredibly hard that must be, but take care of yourself just as you are doing such a fantastically good job of doing for Steve and the kids.

OJ - sorry Steves family causing so much upset. Hope you get something sorted soon.
Just wanted to say there is no such thing as POA any more. The new mental capacity act has changed that.
If the bank accounts etc are sorted you prob dont need to do anything.
Hope you and Steve had a good nights sleep.

Maybe the care agency should stipulate that no member of Steve's family visits because of the abuse that the carers are given. That way its not you saying it but its something that you can insist be enforced. Could the SW write them a letter informing them of this and that its not you that's keeping them away from Steve it's their absolutely disgraceful behaviour. OJ, I admire you for trying to do the right thing by Steve but you have to do the right thing by you & the kids as well. Much love and I hope today is a better one. xxx

Oh OJ - I can't believe the shit they are putting you through.

However I don't think an injunction is the way to go at this point.

I wonder if you wrote them a letter setting out exactly why things are the way are would they actually take it on board more? I know it is more for you to deal with but anything that calms the atmosphere has got to be a good thing for the kids, Steve and you.