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Original poster

Just had the phone call to say ....STEVE IS COMING HOME ON MONDAY !

1001 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 04/04/2008 14:44

OP posts:
TiggerTonkerTruck · 11/04/2008 22:26

Hey O.J. Just popped in to say Love to you all.x.x.x.x.xx.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

NorthernLurker · 11/04/2008 22:38

Haven't seen this thread for a couple of days - now I have, I am enraged at Steve's sister!! You know that you have done everything you could for your man. Your love and strength is awe-inspiring - it is a mystery to me how his family can fail to see it. May i join the queue of mnetters eager to give them a slap - or if we don't beleive in that - a jolly good talking to instead!

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 11/04/2008 23:54

thanks for all your good wishes not really had any time today it has been hectic here.
i had a text from MIL at 1.15 which said...
i am out and about and i am coming to see steven.
i texted back to say that was ok but she would have to leave at 3 as i had to go out and i can't leave vistors here if i am not here.
she turned up at 2pm with steves sister
neither of them spoke to me, they went throu to see steve and the sitter stayed in the room with them. at 3pm they were still here so i had to go in and say that they would need to go as i had to go out, they said why do we have to leave we are family
i explained calmly that the agency have said after weds nights perfomance that the carer should not have to put up with the way they were treated by family so they had made the rule. his mum and sister flipped shouting and swearing at me and telling steve that i was kicking them out and not letting them see him, i got the same crap about how steve should go live with them cos he doesn't love me and never has
they also said that the only reason steve took 50 parecetamols and cut his wrists was because he couldn't bear living here with me
my mate jumped in to defend me and she was told you are not family, i told them that my mates were like my family as other than steve & the kids i don't have any family, they said that they could understand why my family gave me away
after lots more hurtful things they said to me they left. i was shaking with anger but i didn't sink to there level i didn't raise my voice because i was thinking of steve who had to wittness all this.
i am dreading them turning up again, what can i do? i don't want to live in fear of them turning up unannounced or at short notice.

OP posts:
ShinyPinkShoes · 11/04/2008 23:57

Oh Jo I am so but most of all that you have to put up with this utter crap from them!

Is there anyone you can get to come and speak to them? Quite honestly I'm wondering whether it does more harm for Steve to witness such an outburst than not see them at all.

Shit question....but are you alright? x

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 00:05

i am sad hurt and angry, they have made it very clear that they don't give a toss about me and althou that is not nice i can deal with it, i can understand that they are looking for someone to blame and believe me i have made many allowances for them, what i can't forgive is the way that they kicked off in front of Steve, you see throu all the crap they have given me i have never mentioned it to steve cos he has enough to deal with and i don't want to add to that. they have not considered steve at all in this and that hurts me and i am sure it hurts steve thou he is not really able to unnderstand much at the moment.

OP posts:
ShinyPinkShoes · 12/04/2008 00:08

He needs protecting from their anger- throughout all of this everything you have done has been to make things as easy/good for him as possible.

They seriously need someone to give them a bloody good talking to- their behaviour is truly disgusting and I wouldn't let them in the house again.

Can you think of anyone who could talk some sense into them, or are they impossible to reason with?

You so do not need or deserve this

xxx

WendyWeber · 12/04/2008 00:13

Oh Jo, you poor love

However upset and confused and angry they are about Steve's condition you are the last person they should be taking it out on.

Presumably the carer had to witness the whole show? Can she (or he) report back to the care organisers that Steve's family must now be barred from visiting your house because their behaviour is causing so much upset to everybody concerned?

XXX

WendyWeber · 12/04/2008 00:14

I mean could you get an injunction against them to keep them away?

Madlentileater · 12/04/2008 00:14

this is unbelievably bad, even given their record...cant begin to think of a sensible response. was the carer there? did they witness this? Is there third party tey would listen to who could persuade them to be civil? I appreciate you wanting to protect Steve from how awful his family are being, and that's generous of you, justice would suggest a more assertive response, but in the short term you just need to shut them up.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 00:23

yes the carer witnessed it and wrote it up in the records i don't want to stop his family visting steve as i know he like to see them.
i will be speaking to our very lovely Mac nurse on monday and i hope she can give me some weapons ideas

OP posts:
ShinyPinkShoes · 12/04/2008 00:25

You almost need a written agreement drawn up for them to sign agreeing to adhere to certain conditions when they are in your home.

Yes Steve needs to see them, but YOU need to feel safe in your own home and he needs a safe, calm and stable environment too x

Madlentileater · 12/04/2008 00:31

They must have seen all sorts. Evidently situations like yours bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. ANd she will have yours, and Steve's interests in first place, followed by your dcs. His mother and sister will come after that. Of course all your interests SHOULD be compatible, everyone SHOULD be foussed on making Steve's remaining time as good as it can be. But they are letting their egos get in the way. So, sadly, they give up their right to be taken into consideration, I feel.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 00:31

steves brother has been tonight, his mother phoned him to tell him what has happened, he now has my side of things so i will wait and see what happens next, steves twin brother is the most reasonable of the lot of them.

OP posts:
Madlentileater · 12/04/2008 00:36

can you go to bed?
would you sleep?
(waiting for teenager here)
you need to look after your energy (mean this literally, not in a crystally way!)

ShinyPinkShoes · 12/04/2008 00:37

I'm relieved to hear that one of them has some common sense and is easy for you to deal with.

Did Steve take in what was happening?
I hope it didn't shake him up too much and that you're alright x

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 00:39

i will go to bed i have done steves mprhine so i am hoping he will sleep the night throu.
my mind is not very settled just yet so i can't sleep
i hope your teenager is home soon.

OP posts:
Madlentileater · 12/04/2008 00:46

'there's four of us so we won't get raped or mugged'
best not to argue with that, since they're out there anyway....actually I can hear them now (relief)
take a rum to bed, there's a good girl

ShinyPinkShoes · 12/04/2008 00:46

Sleep tight, hope you manage to get an 'ok' night x

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 08:35

i did sleep very well and got 4 hours solid

OP posts:
ChutneyMary · 12/04/2008 08:48

Thinking of you today OJ XXXXXX

ChutneyMary · 12/04/2008 08:48

Thinking of you today OJ XXXXXX

AngeG · 12/04/2008 09:08

I don't post very often, but I am so with steve's family. How dare they treat you like this in your own home. I think you have been extremely reasonable with them. Their behaviour and attitude towards you is appalling. I hope Steve's brother can speak to them.

Glad you got some sleep. Thinking of you.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 12/04/2008 09:15

his family take AIBU to a whole new level don't they, i have to try and sort out changing the lock on the front door as steves mum has a key. anppther thing to add to the list of things to do.

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/04/2008 09:17

They make the cast of Shameless look refined.

LilRedWG · 12/04/2008 09:21

A new level indeed. Evil wierdos!

Put changing the lock at the top of your list of priorities. I hope the Mac nurse has some help for you.

Much love. x

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