Cancer Support Thread 94 - Sweetness and light - the two noblest of things.

[LemonDrizzle10]

@tilllly and Daisy.

That’s great @catmomof3 youve done absolutely fabulous!

@catmomof3 you've done brilliant. Great news on the tumour xxx

I've since been told I have follicular thyroid C. Still waiting for an appt to discuss scan results.

Going on holiday v next week with friends, abroad. I really don't want to go simply because I'll have to keep a false smile on all week. That is going to be v hard. When they are all enjoying themselves I'll be silently crying inside just wanting to be alone to cry my eyes out. But I won't be able to

@Dogfood let's hope you get your scan results soon. The holiday will be a distraction for you; something else to focus on. It's vital to keep busy. We are here holding your hand x

Well done @Dogfood, you’re doing brilliantly. You only have to tell who you want to. I only told people who were practical and I knew would help me; didn’t want all the ‘there there’ people just pissing me off. I found strangers who needed to be told were off the scale helpful, it made me cry!
Hope you get your results soon and find out next steps if you need them. It’s the not knowing that’s absolute torture!
This is easy to say but try to enjoy your holiday. A cancer diagnosis is useful in one way: it literally makes you focus very sharply on what is important in life. DD and I went on a riding holiday in the Welsh Mountains last week. The bucket list is starting to get ticked off. We’re off to Rome next Easter.

well done dogfood.

Results later today for me after lumpectomy and node biopsy - I hope (sort of and only if they're good ...). Last week's feedback was cancelled as they weren't back. Huge stress headache here but keeping busy until appointment time.

Well done@Dogfood
everything crossed @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic for good news.

Wishing you all the best with your results @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic xxxx

Best of luck for your results. It's so nerve wracking waiting for them.

Well done @Dogfood! I totally hear what you are saying about nothing feeling quite normal, too. I think there is a lot to get our heads around after a diagnosis. I am 7 weeks out and not quite there yet either. I am doing ok in terms of physical recovery from the mastectomy, but not at all up to rejoining normal social interactions etc.

Gah. Back in for more surgery on Friday. Tumour twice the size as on the scan and the margins aren’t clear enough. Then a longer wait for onward treatment plan - hoping for radio but that may no longer be the case.

it’s the waiting that’s the nightmare with all this.

Well done @catmomof3 you got through it!

@Dogfood I hope you surprise yourself and get to enjoy your holiday.

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic you say you're hoping for radio but it may no longer be the case. Would they decide against it because the tumour was larger than expected going by the scan? That sounds back to front to me, not that I have any medical training whatsoever - but wouldn't a larger tumour mean more radio sessions and possibly more areas zapped? Good luck Friday with the surgery. The waiting is torture x

Hello Dogfood I had the same type of cancer as you and I felt exactly like you. Feel free to ask any questions about anything that is worrying you. The butterfly thyroid cancer people are wonderful I spoke to Kate there when I was feeling very dark and she helped so much

@SummerCycling theyve found it’s a DCIS and have sent a sample off, which will determine the treatment. I’m at the start of a very steep learning curve. It’s different from what we originally thought but hey ho, I’m told treatable. More waiting.

Starting to panic about Tuesday again, I know I'm supposed to be ok because I've done it once and know what to expect but walking into theatre and seeing everyone then being poked with needles before I was sedated was actually traumatising and I don't know how I can mentally do that again.

I am also dreading the blood transfusion due to my blood phobia.

I hear you @catmomof3. Tell them how you are feeling when you get there on Tuesday or call them on Monday if you’ve got a contact.

I started doing yoga at the end of last year. The mindfulness breathing has been an absolute game changer while having procedures done.
I breathe in for 3, pause for 3, out for 3, pause for 3, then repeat. Focus on the breathing. It has been really effective.

Hello all, I'm new to the club. Breast clinic on Friday, hoping for biopsy results on Wednesday, but two consultants very clear it would show cancer.
The waiting is really hard isn't it? Though I know I am very lucky with how quickly my local NHS seems to have moved. Think I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night and have to keep up with two very young DC today whilst pretending that I don't want to scream and cry all day.
Trying to be positive but it's just so bl00dy hard right now. @Dogfood I know the feeling. On holiday with all my in-laws neck week and I feel desperately jealous of them and angry that this is going to happen to my wonderful DC.

@LionMummyRoar im so sorry you’ve got to join the club no one wants to be in- but as all the veterans say, this is really the hardest bit when you don’t know what you are facing. And these threads are full of wisdom and support- plenty of cats too.
golden rules- stay away from Google, use macmillan( and phone line if you need to vent) breast cancer now website- and feel free to say anything or ask anything on here.

@LionMummyRoar welcome to our club.
A week with the in-laws sounds as enjoyable as a hole in the head right now.
I’ll stock up the virtual rage room if you fancy smashing up a few plates and stuff: now got some vintage crockery that will provide a satisfying smash.
Roll on results day on Wednesday- it’s easier when you know what the next steps are.

Welcome @LionMummyRoar and sorry you find yourself here. We understand. You will be okay!

@LionMummyRoar so sorry you’re also I. The club no one wants to be in. It all happens so fast and there’s the wait for results after treatment.

I hope you have an awesome team. Mine have been.
Keep being as kind to yourself as you can. Wise words in this thread to help to carry us through.

I’ve been on Mumsnet for ten years (ish) and can’t believe I’ve found myself here. Hi, I’m Littlecaf - recently diagnosed with breast cancer - having neoadjuvant chemo before surgery. Doctors positive about treatable/curable etc but still shitting myself.

Life has hugely changed in the 6 weeks - first a lump, then a “we’re looking at cancer” conversation with the doctor at the breast clinic, then multiple scans and tests and now chemo. Feeling awful, fatigue, diarrhoea. Kids holidays ruined, but lots of lovely friends and support.

Right now I’d give anything to be at on the school run in the rain/ potty training/ work, dealing with an arsehole developer, a shitty email from a Councillor or neighbour objection coupled with a legal threat (I’m a town planner).

I know things generally get better. Any chemo tips appreciated. Sending love to everyone x

Would like to join for maybe advice, definitely some support, if that’s ok?

I posted some weeks ago as I’d just been told by my gp that I almost certainly had ovarian cancer.

I then saw my consultant who told me he was confident that it wasn’t cancer, just a very large ovarian cyst. Due to the size of the cyst and the discomfort I had started to feel because of it, a full hysterectomy was agreed as the next course of action. He did say samples would be taken and sent for testing but that this was quite normal.

Massive relief, bit nervous about the op as I’d never had a general, but felt really positive.

Had the hysterectomy almost 4 weeks ago. Spoke to my consultant shortly afterwards and he assured me the op went well, the cyst, although very large (25cm), looked normal and the surrounding area all looked fine.

Had a follow up appointment with my consultant a fortnight ago. He seemed really pleased with my recovery, said how well I looked. My results weren’t yet back so he said he’d phone me with them.

No phone call from him. Then a phone call from appointments the next day to make a face to face appointment. Started to feel a little uneasy but convinced myself it was just procedure.

Well, I had the appointment on Thursday last week. Knew something was off at once because of the look on the consultants face.

The results show I had a cancerous tumour high up in my cervix. Consultant said this was totally unexpected - it wasn’t picked up on my ct scan or the ultrasounds I’d had. Because of how high it was my cervical smears, which have always been normal, wouldn’t have detected it either.

I just felt numb. He then told me unfortunately it wasn’t the most common type of cervical cancer they see. It’s adenocarcinoma which tends to be more aggressive. I said ‘but it’s gone now isn’t it, you removed it?’ He explained with this kind of cancer, they need to see if it has spread so I’ll need to go for PET scan. Whether it’s spread or not, I’m going to need to have chemo, radiotherapy or both.

I then went into a side room with a Macmillan nurse who was lovely and went through a few things with me. It wasn’t until I got home I started to think of questions. How was it missed? If my ct scan showed no evidence of cancer, why do they think it could have spread? Are ct scans not that accurate? If it hasn’t spread, why do I need treatment?

I’ve had an awful weekend - can’t sleep, can't face food, have read all sorts of bad stuff on the internet but can’t stop myself looking. I just feel so scared, not about pain or treatment or losing my hair or anything like that. I’m scared of dying and leaving my son. I feel guilty that I’m going to cause him so much pain and upset.

So now I’m waiting. I was told I’d hear in the next day or so to arrange the PET scan but nothing yet. Trying to keep busy to stop myself thinking the worst but it’s really hard not to.

Apologies for the length of this and sorry to all having to deal with this fucking shitty disease.
I’d be grateful for anyone’s advice on how they’re managing to get through this. X

@Littlecaf I’m sorry you find yourself here. I’m sure the more experienced posters will be here soon with plenty of words of wisdom. But in the meantime, I’ve just had my 2nd round of chemotherapy so totally feel your pain. 2nd round has kicked my bum somewhat. But it does mean that I’m one closer to the end!
Do make sure your talk to your chemo team about side effects as they should be able to give you drugs to help. For me, my nausea has been much worse this time so I’m hoping for some different anti-sickness drugs to help for next time.
@Lovemycollie i have breast cancer, so different to you. But one thing that is the same is that the bit when you are waiting for results / a plan is the very worst bit. Try not to google. Use the MacMillan service if you need someone to talk to / website for information. I’m currently waiting for results of CT scan to see if I have any spread. It is so difficult not to over-think. But your team will be working hard to make a plan for you.
It is utterly shit though and I’m sorry you have to go through it.

Years ago, when dealing with my asshole ex, a friend told me to ‘ride the wave’ I.e. just deal with problems as they arrive rather than overthink everything. This has been good advice for a lot of situations. I’m excellent at getting mind to spiral out of control: this saying helps me get it a bit more under control.
@Lovemycollie guessing you’ve got a collie! Let’s see a pic! My beloved Collie had a stroke just before I started my chemo. I now have chemo-dog. She’s work in progress!