So sorry Nomorebear I also had lobular, 5cm plus 1.7cms plus a third LCIS and in 1 lymph node which had not been picked up on any scan. It is quite common for lobular to be larger in surgery and larger on MRI than other scans. Mine was similar on MRI to real thing but they did warn me it would be likely to be larger again.
I was then given chemo - I said I was terrified and they gave me a choice of 6 cycles or 4 cycles and a choice of 4 different regimes. The oncologist said it was controversial but she thought 4 cycles would be a very similar success rate to 6 and bearing in mind the side effects she thought it OK and better for me. You don't normally get a choice of chemo but I had done a lot of research and was super anxious and also had 2 children, one SN and in crisis and one about to do GCSEs during chemo and they took pity on me. Its like choosing which poison you want but I went for weekly Pax as that has less risk to heart long term and also weekly Pax she said would be meh-meh-meh in how you feel whereas 3 week ones she said followed the really awful week 1, meh, OK week 3 pattern and I was worried about being admitted to hospital. It was during covid times and hospital was rammed. They also said though if did the 3 week one and you take your temp every day and alert them asap if it goes up or if you have certain symptoms even at 2am then its rare to get serious things. They said the people they generally admit are people who get symptoms and don't call the chemo line until they are at crisis point. If you are worried about sickness they have lots of different tablets, I had a sickness phobia but infact I ended up not taking all their ondasetron as I didn't have sickness much and all 6 a week gave me indigestion and pain. But you can adjust the extra meds to suit you though check with them first. If you are worried about hair loss you maybe able to cold cap. I wasn't allowed on weekly Pax, did my own version of frozen peas on my head under a chemo hat which actually worked but only saved 40% so in the longer run I've had to cut it off. But I never went bald.
The 2 year treatment is that abem... I was offered that but actually never took it. It was just too much for me, at that stage my son was in hospital and I needed to be well enough to visit him on a 3 hour trip. I did have radio which was actually super easy. I had to have a second op to remove all lymph nodes but maybe they are doing that via radio? There was no further cancer found.
I would say just try and take it one day at a time right now and one treatment at a time, chemo is the worst by a mile but think of it as 1 chemo not 6 and people vary how they find it from basically OK to horrific. I was in the horrific but even then it does end it was 4 months of my life then over. And every day in that isn't awful, its more like having flu for 4 months. Mentally its incredibly hard and the steroids had a terrible effect on me but a lot of people are fine on them and any problems with any treatment call the 24/7 line and things can be adjusted. Hormone tablets I find not that bad. And life will get back after to a new normal, like this weekend my diary is just do gardening then go to a gardens and have afternoon tea with DH, next week DD has 3 A level exams, I do have checks next week for stage 4 and a new cancer but these are annual. Rest of the time I don't think about it much. Holidays restart been to Maldives and Mauritius since, renovated house. You will come through this, its just going to be a tough rollercoaster to get there. I was the most scared person and I got through it and I am now much tougher for that and found a lot of lovely people on the way.