The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

DH has finally got the light show he’s been waiting for. Here are the northern lights in Devon from Tops Towers. I think maybe his DF is sending a message!

Wow @TopOfTheCliff that's a brilliant picture!

Insurance wise, I have staysure. Gone are the days when I'd happily travel on the GHIC! To be honest it's more the cancellation insurance I like in case anything changes between booking and actually going.

@Top, that is a very nice picture. How long did it last? A few hours or minutes?

Same for me @Clash, it's more for the cancellation. I haven't even told my kids that we are going on holiday and won't until its a week to go as I don't want to disappoint them.

I have another question, how are we coping with the weight gain. I know for some of us, we lose weight and for others it is the other way round. For me, I was a size 12 at diagnosis and now a 'comfy' size 16. I am not even trying anymore., nothing works not that I am trying too hard because i don't even have the strength to do strenuous exercises except go for long walks.

@Makemineadecafplease I was a gainer! Steroids made me eat like a horse, and I went from being very physically active to not having the energy to do much. I reckon I've put on a good two stone.

It's slowly coming off with increased activity levels; I've also made an effort to nurture my body a bit more by eating well, which is naturally more healthy and better for keeping the weight off than the way I was eating before.

Ironically when I was waiting for treatment I joked (gallows humour) that at least I'd probably lose weight going through treatment - thankfully the much tauted nausea and sickness never really kicked in for me but the idea that I needed to eat lots to build me strength up kind of did!
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I must admit I'm not focussing on losing weight...I'm being as active as I can be, eating as well as I can and my body will respond to that as it will.

Thanks @Makemineadecafplease it lasted about four hours but I went to bed after 30 minutes.
I met my personal trainer the other day and she volunteered that I looked fitter and slimmer. I haven’t lost a pound! She said don’t weigh yourself just keep active and believe. I’m happy with that. I don’t think Italy will be a slimming experience.
Today we ran DHs bike event. My legs ache now, but it went well. He is feeling a bit better. It really made me want to go and ride some downhill trails. Goals!

Brilliant picture@TopOfTheCliff and glad to read your dh is feeling a bit better. You’ve both been through the mill.
@Makemineadecafplease glad I’m not the only one facing weight gain…. Clothes feeling v snug if not unwearable. Trying to exercise more - aching feet/ joints make it tougher. But keeping at it!

Thanks Dotty 😂at username change.

Thanks Remaker and Make

Hope you had a good overnight trip Fairywren

Great pic Top We had northern lights here on Friday night.

Make I managed to get through all the cancer treatment with my usual normal BMI helped by weekly weigh ins at chemo so knew quickly if weight changing. But after finishing and on Tamoxifen I stopped checking my weight, thought am doing swimming it'll be fine, thought I am putting on weight, DH no you are getting thinner, then had a hospital appointment after 1.5 years where they weighed me and 14kgs up and in overweight BMI. Yikes. That was October last year and since then have continued exercising and on a 1,200 calorie diet (plus eat back exercise calories) and have lost 12kgs now so just 2kgs to go. BMI is now at 25.7. I will never have long gaps in weighing myself again and will not take the word of others who may be more kind than honest. I have DIEP coming up as well and will continue on this until then which may be in c October time. I want to go down more than the 2kgs ideally, maybe down another 9kgs but basically stopping at DIEP and see what effect that has. I lose about a pound a week, about 0.4kgs. Do about 5 hours exercise a week, which is swimming 2 or 3 times a week a mile each time, walking round gardens and I also include gardening in exercise. I do feel so much better for it, mentally and physically and appearance is much better, cancer treatment was like being run over with a bus for appearance but now its improving and don't have to avoid photos anymore.
Its hard work but worth it for me.

Did 2 hours gardening with DH today and got a fair bit done though still a lot more to do but need to wait for bin to be emptied on Wed. DD is revising and has first exam on Tuesday and second on Friday (A levels) generally pretty calm but today she told me she was starting to get nervous. I wasn't quite sure how to respond so I said at least you aren't doing 4 and she agreed that was good and how about we have a banana split. So we had those and seems fine. DS was quite unsettled one night in the week and very destructive from about 12am to 3am for first time really but has been calm since. He really attacked the boiler, and door - he has mended the door but boiler I am dreading the bill and hope its not a new one needed as its only 2 years old and cost £5.5k. He took off control panel and casing but not sure what else, not entirely sure why, it was overheating and he's quite heat sensitive but we offered to help and he refused in the day but started again at night. Currently won't let plumber in to assess if repairable though we have managed to get photos. Also threw his McDonalds out the window apart from the brownie which he kept and ate later. Though that got 2 hedgehogs and 4 pigeons very happy. Ipad also got thrown out when he cut off the power but that still works OK, just needed a clean. So its only the boiler but yikes.

Well done @Clash I would like to keep active too not to lose any weight but to stay healthy.

Glad to see you are doing much better @Top, I hope your ribs have now healed properly.

@Thesandwich, tell me about it! Everything is snug, it doesn't also help that I am now beginning to want comfy clothes lol. Elastic waists, Muffin tops, etc. We will keep trying.

@Penguinsa I knew I was piling on the weight at every chemo session as I weighed myself and noticed it went up a kg at every session. I was on steroids so that did not help, now its Tamoxifen doing the job.
I guess we all have to focus on being healthy as our bodies have been through a lot.

I also want to thank you all for making me feel at ease when I had the flu last week. Recovery has been very slow but I feel so much better. I'm still coughing a bit and trying to dislodge mucus behind my throat, but it is not budging (sorry tmi). I have been taking loads of lemon and honey, hoping it clears it. It's another work day for me, take care all and have a lovely day.

@Makemineadecafplease @thesandwich All my clothes are tighter! I’m exercising almost daily and trying to eat less. I’ve put on 12lb since diagnosis and now lost 3 but it’s slow going! I think I’m going to have to practically starve myself to loose the rest!

@TopOfTheCliff Amazing photo - looks so beautiful.

I’m also having lots of nightmares, had one of those sleep paralysis things last night where I was aware I was making noises but couldn’t stop or move! Has anyone else had this on letrozole?

I was a loser (of weight!) just after my diagnosis through anxiety, and then I kept it off by changing my diet and fasting. It had started to creep up a bit, I was doing a lot of snacking in the afternoons, which I still am, but I realised I didn't really need to eat a proper tea as I have a good breakfast and lunch and snacks in the afternoon, so my weight is creeping down again. I eat a lot of plants and pretty much no white carbs, I snack on nuts or dark chocolate. I only very occasionally have anything else sweet when I'm out for a nice meal. I stop eating about 5 pm and then generally don't eat for 14 hours. I do a lot of exercise as well, although I don't think that makes a massive difference. I've been a bit heavier than I wanted to be all my adult life, so this is unexpected benefit of cancer! Though obviously I would have preferred not to have had the cancer.

I'm booked in for a tennis session at the gym today, it's the first time I'll have played tennis for quite long time, and I was never great! So I'm a bit apprehensive. It will be a good way to meet people there hopefully, I'm feeling a bit disconnected from everything at the moment and questioning whether being self-employed is the right thing or whether I need more people around me.

Thanks all re comments about weight gain- reassuring and inspiring hearing your stories of dealing with it. Will keep going.
@Penguinsa inspiring hearing about your exercise. So sorry to hear about your ds- I remember reading about his awful time in hospital. Hope it was a one off, and the boiler can be sorted. Good luck to your dd with her exams.

@SierraSapphire you reminded me I lost 5lb in 13 days waiting for my diagnosis. I need to find a diet that effective without the negatives!

Yeah I lost all mine at the beginning, then just needed to keep it off, which is easier than having to do it gradually.

It’s countdown time now for my mini holiday. I’m packing up the summery clothes I can still fit into. I have been to a stiff physio session today. He pushes me until I am almost but not quite wrecked. It really helps my balance and strength but I am aching a lot this week. I think my small joint arthritis has flared again as my hands and feet are really sore swollen and stiff. I can’t think of a reason, so am trying to avoid sugary things as they can fuel inflammation apparently. Maybe it’s because I was on lots of painkillers for my ribs and have now stopped them.
DH is off to say farewell to his DF as it will be miraculous if he is still here when we get back on Sunday. Even the Hospice nurses are a bit baffled as to how FIL keeps going! I hope he goes tonight as it would be much nicer for everyone. DSIL is being amazing.
Hope you are all sticking to your good intentions and making progress. Think of me confronted by all that pasta and pizza and tiramisu!
Top x

@penguinsa sorry to hear your laddy is going through a tough time. Hope things are a bit more settled now.

@TopOfTheCliff how exciting! There's nothing quite like getting ready to go away for a break. Hope you have a lovely time.

It's struck me that it's the anniversary of my first day of treatment tomorrow. Not usually one for taking note of such dates but a memory came up on my Google pics. I wish I could go back to myself in that time and tell me that a year on I would be well enough to be planning to kayak abroad, getting back to full fitness and life would be good - bar the occasional impending sense of doom! I just remember how terrified I was and how I refused to make any plans whatsoever for after treatment - as I just wasn't sure there would be an 'after'.

Have a wonderful time @TopOfTheCliff and @clash that’s great that you can now plan such adventures.

DFIL passed away peacefully this afternoon. DH and his DSis were able to say their goodbyes and he has gone to the same funeral place we used for MIL . Sweetly they said to DH “We will put her ashes in with him for company. Go and enjoy your trip and we will look after him till you get back.” They are so kind and caring it’s amazing!
@ClashCityRocker Happy first treativersary! May there be many many more to come!

Sorry about FIL Top Have a lovely time in Italy.

Enjoy your kayaking adventure Clash and thanks for your kind words re DS. He has got a little better today and has made a curtain in the bathroom and been watching TV for the first time since hospital and with sound rather than subtitles for first time in a few years and he took DH into show him and put a finger over his lips to tell DH to be quiet whilst he was watching TV, watching Netflix. 3 programmes so far though super loud which is a bit difficult for DD as she has A level exams first one done today next on Friday but its keeping her awake. School have said they will apply for special consideration though which is good, doesn't make much difference but every little helps.

Thanks Sandwich and Make

Ah, sorry to hear that @TopOfTheCliff - but impeccable timing! As my DM has apparently been on her last legs for the last five years or so, I constantly have the thought about would I still go on holiday if she died, and I've generally decided yes they wouldn't really be anything immediate for me to do. Sounds like you and your DH had enough of a chance to say your goodbyes. Still, be gentle with yourselves.

That's a lot to cope with @Penguinsa - hope things calm down.

It's two years since my hysterectomy a week on Friday, so I too I'm thinking about anniversaries @ClashCityRocker - two years is when the big danger zone is over, although who knows what's going on inside me, and like you I have moments of doom. The check up that was cancelled a couple of weeks ago hasn't been rearranged, although I am more worried about whether there was ever spread to my lymph nodes because I wasn't completely staged rather than whether there's anything visible in my vagina. Anyway, I've think I need to leave it longer than next week to start to feel a bit more secure. Mostly anniversaries have passed me by without even thinking about them. DD and I are going to see Girls Aloud next Friday, so maybe that is my celebration!

Oh @TopOfTheCliff as you say, what timing. Hope you can both take a breath and enjoy the weekend. Take it easy.

Sorry to hear about your FIL @TopOfTheCliff. I hope you have a lovely time away, you've had a lot to deal with. Likewise @Penguinsa I hope things are settling down, and best of luck to your DD for her exams.

Congratulations (if that is the right word) @SierraSapphire and @ClashCityRocker on your anniversaries.

I've just had my port removed which feels like progress, and I think I have a bit of hair starting to grow, very very slowly. At this rate it is going to take years to come back, but I'm happy to have some. In less good news I had a load of side effects after my most recent phesgo which I haven't had previously. I also had slightly reduced lung function on my most recent rheumatology monitoring which I hadn't taken much notice of, but am now wondering if it may be herceptin related.

@TopOfTheCliff Hope you enjoy your holiday. You definitely deserve a break. Sorry for the loss of your FIL.

@Penguinsa Hope things settle down for you soon.

@SierraSapphire @ClashCityRocker Anniversaries are interesting. Mine is looming and so much has changed in a year. I’m going to plan a nice day and focus on the positive changes it has brought to my life. I definitely focus more on my own well being now after a lifetime of serving others.

Hope everyone has a good day and enjoys some sunshine.

@Tam I allowed myself to be a little bit maudlin last night - at the time I was so focussed on treatment and staying positive and being strong for others that I sort of pushed various thoughts away whilst maintaining a state of low level terror that I never acknowledged.

Today I'm focusing on all I've achieved so far this year and all that I've planned for ahead.

And do you know what, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back whilst also acknowledging that I was lucky to escape the worst of the side effects. I'm pleased with how I've progressed and where my life is now.

Sorry that your father in law has gone @TopOfTheCliff but it sounds like he was well cared for and well loved and it was just his time. Hope you enjoy your holiday.

Enjoy Girls Aloud Sierra and thanks.

Thanks Demi and Tam Good to get port out Demi and glad hair is appearing.

Weighed myself today and BMI was now 25.4 on NHS and just a kilogram to go to normal BMI, will keep going after that but will be happy to reach that. I did 2.5 hours gardening with DH today and filled green bin together, it was me versus the ivy mainly and DH was digging the ground. Then had a bath and a chinese takeaway - king prawns with mixed veg and sweet and sour sauce and also had a glass of coke then a cup of earl grey tea with 2 lemon curd biscuits and then a glass of lime juice and fizzy water.

DS has been watching TV, has it really loud and is below DDs room when she's trying to revise. Will get her some noise cancelling headphones. Next exam on Friday then Tues and Wed next week then its half term week. Floof got microchipped, he was not impressed but its compulsory now. Just watching Below Deck. DS has also taken his shoes which is encouraging, also taken my earl grey tea but we wonder if he mistook them for biscuits as it was in his biscuit cupboard. Though he has unusual taste in drinks and drinks peach iced tea so maybe he's making some and that's why he's suddenly rediscovered sound. 🤔

I just had my covid vaccine, after taking my name the pharmacist said "I assume you're having cancer treatment" so perhaps my hair is not as good as I thought 😂 Oh well, it saved me saying it.

Your tea sounds delicious @Penguinsa and good thinking on the headphones.