The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

@SummerCycling you are right about the state of A and E. I only waited 3 hours but there were ten policemen and three petty criminals in handcuffs in the waiting room along with some extremely large drunk locals at 4pm. I had an X-ray showing nothing out of place and came home with some brilliant local anaesthetic patches and a stash of codeine. I am pain free until I try to move.
DH is back and in despair about the state of me. I will have to drop out of the French Cycle trip. I’d be a liability.

Hope your DC is better. Back to school today?

Thanks @SummerCycling, i've tried tea tree and Vicks and official fungal stuff for nails, athletes foot and thrush, but not vinegar so I'll give that a go!

A&E the same in Manchester last year when DD was in there with trolleys down the corridor.

Glad you're out @TopOfTheCliff with no serious damage, but a pain about the French cycling trip.

I think I might be getting a cold. It's just sort of threatening though rather than actually coming on. Not sure whether exercising is a bad idea, might use my crappy exercise bike rather than anything more energetic. Got bright sunshine at the moment, I expect the torrential rain is due soon if it's anything like yesterday!

On the nail front, some of mine are a bit ridged, and they are all very fragile, but I think that is partly the abemaciclib which can cause nail thinning. But I have one specific issue and don't know who to ask about it. All my nails became very loose on docetaxel with dead skin underneath on the nail bed. They have all reattached themselves over the last year or so. But one of them has a bit of debris trapped underneath it. I can see a bit of eyelash or something in there. It's been like that for months and I keep hoping it will grow out, but it hasn't shifted, so it's clearly not going to. It's too far down to poke it out with a manicure kit (and I'm worried about getting an infection if I start prodding a needle or something down there). It seems too trivial for an HCP, but it looks pretty gross and obviously isn't going to cure itself. Any ideas who I could ask to deal with it for me? (I did think of posting a picture but none of you need to see that...)

Otherwise, I've been a bit under the weather. I seem to have got myself into a bit of a cycle of diarrhoea/immodium/constipation/stomach cramps/more diarrhoea, and I've been a bit stressed about various things and not eating well or sleeping properly. I had to go to bed for a nap one afternoon at the weekend after overdoing it with a very short run and some gardening. Bit of a sad state of affairs. @TopOfTheCliff - sorry to read about your accident. Hope you don't have to miss your French trip - that would be such a shame.

It took about 15 months for my nails to recover. When I went back to work I had to use fabric finger strip plasters on my thumbs, middle and index fingers so that I would remember to not try and use them and to help stop the continual splitting. After two years my nails were completely back to normal.

Hope you can find a solution to the French cycling trip Top Maybe you could go and stay nearby or a tandem bike? I know nothing about bikes but there's all kinds of them. Or maybe your DH could get one of those trailers on his bike and you could just ride in that.

Glad your DC is fine now Summer Yes A & E can be really shocking, the worst time I had was when I had suspected covid and ill and there was everyone next to each other they thought had covid including a lady with cancer. They decided I was fine and chucked me and a very old lady who looked about 90 outside the hospital with no-one there to collect and she was really scared. I then had results back later to show that at that time I had very bad food poisoning, cancer and may well have had covid as my DD tested positive but the doctor was running round like crazy, a bit annoyed he told me I was fine, I could not really even stand I felt so ill. And it was a month for results. Scarily bad here at times. I still have not heard about an MRI and not been checked since Dec 21. Am phoning every week now but can't even go private without a referral letter.

Well it’s decided I can’t go to France like this. I am gutted but decisions need making as we are due to leave this evening. DH will go without me and I might have to agree to stay with DM for his peace of mind (but it would drive me nuts so probably will wriggle out of that one). One the one hand I am seriously pissed off that yet another medical catastrophe has struck, why me? am I cursed? Etc. On the other hand it’s just another shower of shite to endure and I am quite good at hunkering down with painkillers and ready meals and getting through. Apart from the painful ribs everything else is going okay. DFIL is still noshing rice pudding and custard and will probably outlive me at this rate. SIL has been there 11 weeks and is coping brilliantly bless her. DH gets to go and ride his bike with his mates while we all cope without him.
So folks, what’s happening in the wider world? Back to school? Exams this term? Distract me with your plans for the spring now it’s finally arrived.

Oh, I'm so sorry @TopOfTheCliff . That is really rubbish, but maybe next year?

Distraction as requested. Yes, back to school here this week and I sat down with a spreadsheet last night to help DD2 plan what uni open days she wants to go to (she's in Y12, so will be applying next year). It's a bit of a pain as they mostly happen on the same few weekends, so a lot of juggling/prioritising is required.

My DF is not doing so well at the moment, so I am schlepping up to see him at the weekend, but the weather is looking good for Saturday so hopefully we will be able to manage a trip out and a gentle walk by the sea together.

Today the sun is shining, the sky is blue and I am going to take a long lunch and walk the long way to the swimming pool.

May your painkillers be effective and your ready meals palatable.

I'm sorry to hear about your trip @TopOfTheCliff what a shame. I hope the time passes quickly.

The sun is shining here. I've booked the moving forwards course, and I have one eyelash beginning to regrow. My finger nails seem to be detaching however.

Sorry you don't get to go Top

Its all glamour here today - DH is trying to unblock DSs toilet - he successfully unblocked the sink which he found a toothbrush down. On the plus side that may mean DS is brushing his teeth. DH has been refusing a plumber and this has been going on for a couple of days but he claims he is now having success with a giant plunger. Floof is desperate to help but being kept away.

It is term time again for DD but she's here slightly under the weather, just a cough thing but has had it about a month now and keen she doesn't catch anything else so best she recovers at home. Exams start mid May and finish on 20th June. Then uni starts in October all going well and seems on track. Her boyfriend (who I like as he insists on cuddling Floof each time) and her are planning a summer holiday and she asked me to find them somewhere and gave me their budget but I went for one a bit higher than their budget as don't want somewhere she'll be hassled by men and want somewhere nice. But I seem to have started a dispute, they both want the one I chose but DD is happy to pay for it, her boyfriend isn't. He is going on 4 holidays that summer and so won't have chance to earn but is from a wealthy family. Not sure if we should give money but am waiting for a resolution. DD is now very determined to get this holiday and every cheaper one her boyfriend suggests she says no to. I think its about £120 different so not a huge difference, her boyfriend had a new car for his 18th.

I may go away with DD to Borneo to the places we were meant to go in 2020 to see the orangutans and probiscus monkeys etc. Got cancelled in 2020 and 2021 due to covid restrictions, 2022 due to chemo, 2023 due to DS being just out of hospital so hopefully will finally get there. This year is good with DD as she has 20 June to first week of October off so plenty of not school holidays off.

@TopOfTheCliff i’m so sorry about your French trip. Hope you are fit enough soon to make more plans.
@dotty2 open days always seem to coincide- you can plan to visit in non open days to get a feel for a place and often speak to faculty people/ students. as for your nail- chiropodist? They’ve seen it all…..

All my family gathered to scatter dms ashes as per her wishes last week- I’m so glad we waited until the weather was better. Two nice days! We all stayed overnight and had a lovely time reminiscing and revisiting old family haunts- Clifton downs and the suspension bridge. Very special. Somewhere that hasn't changed much since we lived in Bristol.

Oh @TopOfTheCliff sorry to hear that you've had to cancel. It sounds like you're holding the fort admirably at home though. I do hope you're back up and at the doings quickly - god knows you've served your time in the dock!

I am back from Barca and had a great time. Lots of walking but I held out well - averaging around 12 miles a day. Definitely feeling it in my hips and lower back but so worth it! Had my customary rant about how produce is so much better over there than here - it's a pleasure to eat nice healthy stuff.

Anyway, the weather looks like it's picking up a bit here at least. It has felt like a long, drab winter and it's always nice to be heading into spring. Don't get me wrong, come late September I will be looking forward to the darker nights and coziness but I always find the period between January and April such a slog!

And in today's news, the 'abscess' which caused the sepsis and a whole load of stress and worry about recurrence is officially gone per an ultrasound scan. That's a relief!

@TopOfTheCliff sorry about your accident.

I quite obviously have made a mistake going back to work. I knew it. But I needed something to do and my plans to escape teaching weren’t getting anywhere.

I now feel like I have no time or space to do anything other than work.

Suffering severe anxiety for the last three days. Huge amounts to do. It’s never ending.

This is the last year. If I get through it.

Glad the absess is gone Clash and well done on 12 miles a day, impressive.

Glad Bristol went as well as it could Sandwich

Hope work improves Fairywren

I sometimes wonder about working again now, wasn't possible in treatment and then for a year after DS was in hospital then at home with constant health meetings until c Oct 23 then we were doing work on house. Now I have DIEP later this year but after that I could maybe think about doing something. Though would be long commute and I have enough money without working but would enjoy it if could get a job doing what I used to do again and firms are more flexible now and just need you in the office 2 or 3 days a week. I did listen to a return to work seminar for work similar to what I used to do and was very well paid too though suspect it would be very competitive. Its got another month for applications so I'll think about it. I quite like my pottering about swimming, kids, work on house and garden and days out and holidays life though and not at all sure I want or could manage working in the city again though do miss the buzz of it. I sometimes feel I'm retired early but then I expect life expectancy will be shorter.

Cleaners coming tomorrow which is great. Done swimming couple of times in week and also my BMI is now back to 25.9 so pleased with that, want to get to pre cancer levels again so keeping going. I have a lovely event next weekend drinks at an art gallery followed by a formal dinner at my old university with DH, it looks like just 7 of us are booked in but that can be nice. Though says smart casual which is always slightly tricky, its never casual there, very dressy. Think I have suitable things.

Hello everyone I’ve been absent for a while as recovery has involved lots of sitting around, an occasional nap, a daily walk and not much else. I’m bored but if I do too much I feel it later. I saw my surgeon on Friday and the pathology showed no malignancy in my uterus, ovaries, tubes or cervix so that was welcome news.

@TopOfTheCliff I’m so sorry you missed your holiday. I hope your recovery is smooth. I should be on holiday in Queensland right now but had to cancel due to my surgery. I just looked up the weather where we would have been staying and it’s raining and only 2 degrees warmer than here so that has cheered me up!

@FairyWren7 I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. If I was only considering my health and well-being I would give up work but unfortunately I need to earn money. I need something low stress but not too physically taxing. It’s really difficult to strike a balance.

Hi @Remaker good news about your results.

Yeah this work situation isn’t sustainable for me. They upped my hours because they had a gap. I said I would hand it back if I couldn’t manage it.

Very welcome news indeed @Remaker, really pleased for you and hope recovery goes smoothly.

@fairywren that sounds tough. I may have misunderstood but it sounds like you'll be able to reduce your hours down? Or would it be the situation where you'd reduce your hours but still have to do the same amount of work in the same time and for reduced wage (this tends to be the case in my firm 🙄)

Sorry to hear about work @FairyWren7
Catching up while eating a Greggs cookie in a service station. Not very ‘recovery’ minded! I’m on my way back from visiting DF. He’s not doing well and I’m worried about him and stressing about how to help him without compromising my own health. I’ve been thinking all the time I’ve been driving (5 hours so far in total, yesterday and today) how hard it is to have to be strong for so many different people (DF, the DCs, DH who has PD). I really need people in my life who don’t lean on me at all. But I’m lucky to have lovely, strong and friends and mutually supportive colleagues. Work can be tough sometimes but I have people to lean on. And I know they will catch me if I fall. I don’t think I could cope otherwise. Im
freelance but all my current work is with associates. I’ve been mulling over going for a couple of contracts on my own but I think I’ve realised this isn’t the right time.

in happier news, I had a lovely afternoon in London on Friday. Lunch with a really special friend I don’t see enough, bit of art and a bit of shopping and a good book and coffee on the train. And I ran by the sea this morning, if slowly and not far. Right. Back to the A1!

Cleaners in then went to tulip festival, was too busy for me and 1 hour 45 each way but pretty tulips and had some overpriced baby Dutch pancakes with white chocolate. Had roast dinner before left.

@Penguinsa that looks pretty! I have a friend who has recently moved from Sydney to Amsterdam so I am patiently waiting for tulip pics from her.

@dotty2 I’m sorry to hear about your DF. Completely understand the feelings about others relying on you. The best part about having surgery has been taking a couple of weeks off from being responsible for DM. I had to send DH over to change her hearing aid batteries as she refuses to ask the staff in her care home to do it. Infuriating!

@Penguinsa Beautiful tulips, a sight to bring joy.

@Remaker , I often get fixated on how much easier it would be if DF was nearer but your post made me realise that would just bring a different set of challenges.

@Penguinsa Amazing tulips. Is that Spalding? I’ve been a few times for work but not in tulip season. It’s such an odd place, very unEnglish.

I spent a happy few hours in my garden when I got back. I have a semi wild area under some trees that looks dreadful quite a lot of the year but I love it just now.

ThanksRemaker, MissMarples and Dotty Love your trees in blossom Dotty The tulips were at Tulleys Farm in Crawley but it did have an odd feel to it and very crowded so we were in and out in 15 mins and wished had gone to Wisley again but beautiful pics. Quite a few looked very dressed up like all in white with hats and looked like they were taking photos for Instagram. It was a totally different demographic to an RHS garden and the stalls felt like a children's overpriced funfair and they gave you a stamp on entry. First year they have run it. We may have been unlucky with numbers but issue is it only runs for 5 weekends and quite often there's rain so think it gets swamped when its a weekend and not rain. It was only the one field as well.

We used to have some beautiful tulips in our old garden and did inspire me to think about planting some for next year though might do lavender next.

@dotty2 I laughed about the Greggs cookie. Yesterday I drove over to stay with DM90 for a couple of days. (We have a family friend’s funeral today). On the way I stopped for a coffee as I had missed lunch and bought a Kristy Kreme donut. It was strangely both appalling and delicious. I decided it was the sign I need a total reset now I am recovering from the broken ribs slowly. I should be able to swim again soon and maybe do some very gentle yoga. Breathing still hurts and I can’t roll over in bed but it’s getting better. Time for a fresh start!
I also relate to your worry about DF. My DM is deaf and lonely and hearing voices through the wall. She won’t consider moving from her huge country house. I won’t take responsibility for the consequences of her decisions. I have lots to catch up on now I am finally out of Cancerland. But it’s tricky when she pulls at the heartstrings. I agree it’s good to surround yourself with positive people and not drains.
@Penguinsa I love the tulip picture. I guess it’s a photo op a bit like the pumpkin patch in autumn. Just embrace the moment.