The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

Research shows Top that towards you than if you've helped them, so I let them get on with it!

I also feel really busy, I've gone from worrying about not paying the mortgage to now worrying about being completely overloaded! Not unusual in self-employment, but obviously now it also has the worry that if I overdo things and my body is exhausted then the cancer might come back. I did take the morning off to go to the gym yesterday though, I did a 7 am yoga class and then 45 minutes cardio, although I did have breakfast and do some work in the middle of that! I'm just about to get going now and do a little bit of studying before I start work.

@Penguinsa My username autocorrect made me laugh out loud.

I walked too much yesterday and today I’m achy. It’s tricky to get the balance right with exercise. I need to stop before I feel I need to, I think!

That's great Top and good to have offers of help with the boat.

Well done on the exercise Tam and Sierra

Did 2.5 hours gardening today with DH and had a lovely roast dinner. Saturday was mainly collecting things. DD has been doing her punting job but it was hailing whilst she was out punting but we got her after the tour and got her a pizza. Tonight her boyfriend is taking her out to dinner. Saw DS using the microwave whilst was gardening and his hair was very well combed. I did have a cookie dough cheesecake after the gardening.

I will always think of you as Tamoxifen now Tam it made me laugh too though also I thought I must use that work a lot if its autocorrecting to that!

After the great catering effort yesterday I had a lazy day today. I went and helped with the finish of a sport event checking people in and serving stew. It was very sociable. It is nice to be back out in the world reassuring my friends that I am recovering and will be back in action soon. I think they had given me up as lost.
Tomorrow I am hoping to do a bike ride in the morning and yoga in the afternoon, if my energy lasts all day. I am trying not to cram too much in while I am still in recovery mode.
What are the rest of you planning this week?

I'm in a hotel in Hampshire at the moment, I've got a days training today (receiving the training!) prevaricating about whether to go to a yoga class at the gym at 7am, I think the traffic could be bad when I come out so I could spend just as much time driving as yoga! Maybe I'll just go and get my mat from the car and do a class in my room. Then I'm up to the other end of the country on Thursday to see DD for her birthday. I have a lot of work and my Master's assignment to do as well.

I met an old school friend yesterday I haven't seen for years, it was lovely to catch up, but I didn't tell her about the cancer, it kind of didn't come up and I didn't want to put a downer on things. There's no reason she'll find out from anybody else in the short term, but I do feel a bit like I should've told her as it's such a big thing and if she does find out that I had it and I didn't tell her she might feel I don't trust her or something. What do other people think about that?

@Penguinsa Yes, I don’t think it’s a usual autocorrect!

My son came home for the weekend from university, unexpectedly. It was really lovely to see him. Have been doing lots of yoga, but am getting quite stiff and achy.. Think it’s the letrozole. Hopefully it will improve as it was OK for the first few months.

I've kind of lost my mojo over the last few days. I slightly overdid the swimming last week and made my arm/shoulder sore, then I did 9 hours of driving across Friday/Saturday and made it worse, and then I had a bit of a stomach upset last night and didn't sleep properly and am starting the week knackered, aching and under-exercised. On the plus side, I had a nice afternoon/evening with my DDad who is several hours away and drove the long way back so I could pick DD1 up from York uni sort of on the way home. We had a nice lunch out in York too. I have a lot of work to do this week so need to get on it but am struggling this morning.

@SierraSapphire - it's tricky, isn't it. If I was your friend I might find it a bit odd you hadn't mentioned it. But then if you do mention it, I find it just sucks all the oxygen out of the conversation and people often get slightly reticent to share things going on in their life because they think 'it's not important compared to cancer, I don't want to seem self-indulgent'. You only have to look at the reaction to the PoW's announcement to see that cancer is still seen as one situation where almost everybody defers to your trauma (even the people who were utterly disrespectful of the poor woman's privacy an hour before). But I still want to hear about people's worries about their poorly cat, or their frustrating holiday where everything went wrong and it rained all week...That sort of thing might be trivial in the grand scheme of things, but I'm still interested to hear it. So I don't think there's a right answer and you definitely shouldn't feel bad about not mentioning it.

Good to hear everyone’s news.

It’s a bit up and down my end. Being back at work has really made my anxiety levels flare up. I probably have hundreds if not thousands of interactions some days and not all of them are easy. I don’t find it as easy to shake this stuff off now - not that I ever did really.

I’m very much looking at this as a short-term situation. But I guess we will see how I go!

I have the plastic surgeon public appointment tomorrow so I’m hoping to have a timeline soon.

Hope the bike ride and yoga were nice Top

Happy birthday to your DD Sierra Re telling old friends I have done it over e-mail think around Christmas time just as a general update mixed in with other things. I would have found it much harder in person. Though I do like not everyone knowing, most people are kind but it does become your identity and I don't like the way in the press if someone has had a fantastic life but then gets cancer it becomes the great tragedy. Its like the rest of their life is erased. I also find the only people who get cancer are people who have had it themselves or had someone incredibly close have it. My Italian friend was so lovely facetiming me with her cats several times and I knew her 20 odd years ago.

Nice to see your son Tam

Hope you get your mojo back Dotty

Hope the appointment goes well Fairy Still waiting here - told it will be given an appointment date in August or so and still waiting MRI letter.

Just had an easy day yesterday after a lot of gardening the day before including carrying 50l sacks of bark around. DH had his piano lesson, and I ordered an Indian takeaway but made rather a hash of it. Ordered it and thought that comes to about the right amount and sent it off. Then read through and thought I have missed DDs veg korma so did second order for that. Then though wow they have raised the prices £10 I wonder what has gone up. Read through first order again and realised I had ordered DS 2 chicken kormas. 🤔DH was laughing a lot when he returned with it and I think we will be having chicken korma for lunch now. Not sure this will help the cancer weight loss but was down again yesterday.

May go swimming tonight then more gardening tomorrow.

Yesterday’s bike ride was fun but freezing and wet. Yoga was warm and sociable. Today I was a bit stiff on getting up but the physio worked me extremely hard on the gait reeducation and by the end I was supple and pain free. I’ve been minding FIL and chasing round to get my bone infusion as I went to the wrong hospital at first. Luckily the nurse was very chilled when I got there late.
I’m aching quite a lot now which is probably both the physio and the infusion. I’m trying to rest for a bit and the weather helps because it’s dire for the next few days. @Penguinsa I am impressed by your gardening. If it ever stops raining I will have to tackle the outdoor jobs.
I do find it hard to get the balance right. I veer between doing too much and having to rest to recover. Pacing is not my forte.

Went swimming but felt quite worn out from gardening still - DH told me the bags I was carrying were 100 litres not 50 litres but he got more today which are 50 litres which will be better as 100 litres of wet soily bark I can hardly lift. So just did 70 lengths x 15 and jacuzzi and sauna but good to go anyway. DH still can't go as affects his ears and earplugs don't help. Our memberships run out end of March and will see what we do.

I will do more gardening tomorrow. Put rest of the bark down and put a few plants in. Then that's the section around the house all done. DH has been working on the back of the garden and its not too bad there either, need to go through about another 5 metres or so. Would be also nice to add some more flowers but we can do that later.

Yes the weather forecast is not great at all. I have lots of nice outdoor things I want to do, but its like hardly any gaps in the rain. Tomorrow evening should be not raining so OK for the garden. Saturday and Sunday looks like there are gaps in the rain at least, DH has an extra 2 days off so 6 in total as DD has her Oxford offer holders day and DH is taking her and they will stay overnight. I will stay here with DS. Hoping to do nice things over the weekend but they are quite weather dependent. DS had a bath and changed clothes whilst we were out and made himself chicken korma in the microwave. He appears to have brushed his hair and shaved. DD was saying she will put Bath as her insurance but says she doesn't want to go there and if she gets that I will need to go there for her - I would love 3 years in Bath so fine with me. 😂

@Penguinsa wow you’ve been so busy! And chicken korma sounds delicious!

I’m just trying to do the walking and the exercises given to me by the physio. The swimming was making my issues much worse. So I’ve knocked that on the head for a bit.

@fairywren I finished chemo nearly a year and a half ago, and I did have another unconnected operation late last year, and a recurrence scare, but it is only in the last couple of months that I have actually felt back to normal in terms of my ability to cope with work things. On the other hand, I do probably care less about some stuff, on the basis that nothing else is likely to be as bad as having cancer!

I visited Bath @Penguinsa on my first round of universities (I applied to do engineering before ending up doing social sciences a year later) - in retrospect I wish I'd gone there, but I think I was put off because it was a campus university and out of the town. I went to Manchester (for three weeks!), I wish I could've stayed there but I couldn't change course I think that's why I like going up so much now to see Dd.

Hope you're feeling a bit better @dotty2 - and thanks for your answer about whether to mention cancer or not. At the moment I feel like it's such a small part of my life that I just don't want it to be made bigger and as you say, for people look at me as the poor person with cancer! I would mention it to somebody else who had cancer though.

After being worried about having no work, my new problem is now having too much work 😂. I'm reluctant to turn things down because I really need the money and also I need to build a relationships for ongoing work, but I do feel a bit up against it. I'll have to work a bit over the Easter weekend. hopefully means me and DD can get a holiday in June, so that's not to look forward to! I'm off to BodyBalance in a bit, though, trying to keep the exercise regime up!

@TopOfTheCliff I have problems pacing myself too. I went for a walk yesterday, exhausted myself and had to spend the rest of the day in bed. Its so frustrating when my body doesn't want to do what my brain wants it to.

I did do the gardening yesterday evening and it was the 100 litre sacks of bark this time, misunderstood DH it was 50 litre ones before. So put rest of bark down, put some heathers in the ground, did some weeding and had 2 containers full of flowering plants put by the back door. Then a lovely bath. We had a Chinese takeaway afterwards as was getting late.

It is much easier for me to do these things though as not working. I have things for the children but DD is pretty self sufficient and just needs to chat things through. She will be off to university this October.

Hope everyone has a good Easter weekend and we get reasonable weather, looks quite mixed. Currently very windy here. Off swimming tonight and need to collect click and collect parcels from Post Office as they close over Easter. I ordered a silly amount of F&M easter chocolate, £126 including delivery. 🤔I just got sentimental like oh its DDs last Easter before uni, DS had a rough time but its not sensible as DD doesn't really eat chocolate, she loves tins so will have the one with a tin and DS will eat all the chocolate in sight. I am still dieting and I love praline chocolate and DH eats a bit of chocolate but not a lot. I fell in love with the decorated flowers on the egg as it reminded me of childhood ones. I also discovered from MN that Australia has a Easter bilby and DD fell in love with a binturong when we went there at a lady who rescues animals from accidents and DD hand fed it so got some binturong notebook and easter bilby notebook arriving. Then ordered some fitted leggings / trousers for hiking which are really nice but I am not sure with DIEP looming if my size will change though might be OK as they have lots of lycra in them.

Blimey @Penguinsa have you been on steroids? You are superwoman! and have shopping madness 😂
I ordered some nice eggs for family with my Sainsbury’s online shop but they all got substituted 🤬 I will have to go down and see if there are any nice ones left on the shelf. I’m still wiped out from Zolendronic acid currently but have an ambition to make a simnel cake today.
I shall try to spend my Christmas garden centre vouchers on bedding plants if I can get out. DH has borrowed my car today. All his vehicles are breaking down, unreliable and expensive. In fact almost everything he owns is like that, even me!
I hate having to be patient and I have a thumping headache. Grrrr.

Happy Easter everybody, weather forecast looks slightly better than it did a couple of weeks ago so hoping to get lots of stuff sorted out round the house and garden.

Two hosp appointments this week, oncology and breast clinic. Both did a breast exam and nothing untoward so feeling positive before holiday next week. They also confirmed I can have micro blading as bloods ok despite the abemaciclib @dotty2 - no time or money right now but maybe later?

Going forward Im a bit nervous about relying on mammograms as they didn't pick up my cancer previously and for self exam the tissue on my affected side is very dense from radiotherapy with scar tissue but have been assured they will check any changes in clinic if I raise any concerns.

Fingers crossed for sun, chocolate and restorative weekend for us all.

@TopOfTheCliff That’s annoying about the eggs. I hope you feel better soon.

@myrosehasleftme yes it’s hard when your breast is all firm and lumpy from treatment to know what’s what. I was checked in clinic last week as a new lump had appeared. They saw me in two days, gave me a thorough examination and mammogram of both breasts and then an ultrasound. Hopefully your team will be as quick and thorough.

Thank you @myrosehasleftme re the microblading. I will investigate and see if I can find a local recommendation (bit scared of going somewhere that makes me look like some of my daughter's friends - can't get on board with the massive eyebrow trend).

I am impressed by your energy too Penguin! We bought some 100l bags of bark chips at the weekend, and I didn't even attempt to lift them.

I'm going to need to work a bit over the bank holiday weekend as I'm having one of the 'feast' phases of the freelance feast/famine cycle, but I will definitely find time for chocolate and gardening. I was just on a call with a colleague who is in Japan for the cherry blossom festival, and apparently it is late this year and there's very little to be seen in Tokyo. But there's lots of blossom in my garden at the moment so I must make sure to enjoy it!

Hope you feel better soon @TopOfTheCliff and you get your cake made.

@tam23 glad everything was ok for you, they have said they have a low benchmark for checking so just to say the word. I think I just need to be aware what is my new normal and keep up the checks at home,

@dotty2 I'm also very nervous about sharpie brows- I bought some stencils from Facebook during chemo last year and it was ridiculous! I think I've found a good place to go but it is £££ compared to a brow pencil!

First haircut booked for Tuesday- it is now undeniably a mullet and it may be fashionable but I am not a teenage boy. Whoever said that there is the 80s aerobic instructor phase is spot on and I'm in it!!

I keep forgetting what microblading is and I have images of you all rollerblading 😂.

I'm up north, spent the day with DD today. It's been lovely, now she has gone back to her friends and tomorrow I might have a day out in Liverpool. I am also going to have to work @dotty2 and do my uni assignment.

Happy Easter everyone! It’s Good Friday here and I’m snuggled in bed with two cats and a mug of tea. Oh yes DH is here too haha.

Unlike last year when a couple of sultanas would have me rushing to the loo, I can now eat hot cross buns - hooray! I have some delicious ones waiting to be toasted. I’ve bought the chocolate and hopefully DH has remembered to buy me some or else he’ll be sharing.

We have an annual Easter party with our neighbours which is on Saturday so I need to cook some food for that. And DH and I might go to the movies today.

Can’t quite get my head around the fact that my hysterectomy is on Tuesday. Hoping it’ll be laparoscopic surgery and just two nights in hospital but I’m packing for five nights just in case.

I am feeling very shamed by everyone’s efforts in the garden and at work. I’ve been very much in my jigsaws and Netflix era this week. I have visited my mum several times as I won’t be able to see her until I can drive again. So that counts as community service! It is hard to keep smiling when she’s complaining about how lonely she’ll be and I’m thinking I am sorry my surgery is impacting your life!

Morning from Manchester! I'm about to get up and use the hotel fitness room, then do a bit of studying I'm heading over to Liverpool before going home. I said I take lunch over to my DMs tomorrow but have no other Easter plans. Good luck with the hysterectomy @Remaker and try to shut out the views of your mum at the moment! My hysterectomy was laparoscopic, I was only in overnight, and the recovery was absolutely fine, there's often a bit of bleeding around day 10 which can be a bit freaky, but it was all much easier than I expected.

Good luck with the surgery, @Remaker . I hope whichever method they use, your recovery is a quick one.

I've just weighed myself and I've lost 4kg since I came out of hospital 7 weeks ago. That's good, I hope. My GP referred me to an NHS weight loss programme, due to start soon, but I think that my BMI has now gone below 30, the "referral" level, so when I have my preliminary meeting with the nurse in a fortnight I don't know if I'll still be eligible. I'm still trying to eat lots of high protein foods but have cut down on carbs and high fat.

I'm still struggling with exercise and even a short walk (2000 steps) leaves me wiped out and bed bound for the rest of the day. I don't know what to do about this.

@SierraSapphire I worked at Manchester Uni on Oxford Road back in the 1990s. I loved the city, but I expect it's changed a lot since then. What hotel are you staying it?