Cancer support thread 91 - don’t borrow tomorrow’s worries

[LemonDrizzle10]

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Sorry to hear that Tillly

Hope it comes through quickly BBQ1 and how wonderful with your son's musical talents. My daughter is doing Maths, Psychology and Business Studies at A level and trying for Economics and Management as a degree, she coped really well. I am through treatment now and just have reconstruction to go and the 10 years of the lovely Tamoxifen. Just off swimming.

I've got steroids and antibiotics, and I'm assuming a glass of wine is required also

@Bbq1
My youngest is 19 and telling him my cancer was back was the most brutal thing I've ever had to do

My bloods were requested by the GP. I got told off at my last oncologist appointment for attributing every ache, pain and ailment to chemo- I’m not allowed to do that!
I’ve had really sore feet, numb hands and other stuff the chemo brain can’t remember. I’ve always put metallic mouth down to the menopause- it’s worse right now - hopefully find out tomorrow what is going on.

Might be iron, mine was low a long time after chemo. Magnesium I think gets depleted too. Or cholesterol or blood sugar I think gets elevated when iron is low or in response to chemo, hopefully something straightforward Lemon

My potassium was low in chemo and I had to keep having the awful fizzy tablets. I asked my gp for some bloods last week as my heart rate is never below 95 and often higher. Rang me straight away to say both my thyroid and pottasium were off kilter so Im glad I asked. I do find myself getting sob when Ive climbed the stairs and I blame that on the chemo rightly or wrongly.

@LemonDrizzle10 I have to have an annual GP requested standard set of bloods as I'm on anticoagulants. Every time since I've been on chemo, there have been results out of the normal range which has flagged up a 'make an appointment to speak to a GP' message. Every time, once they realise I'm on chemo, they conclude the results are due to that. I hope that's reassuring.

@Bbq1 welcome to the nicest thread on MN, hope your stay is brief.

Thank you all for your messages of support. Much appreciated. This really is the most supportive thread. I have managed to temporarily put the breaks on my spiral. Amazing how the mind can short-circuit the descent sometimes (out of sheer exhaustion probably). The abyss still lurks beneath my feet but I am not looking. Managed to get some work done, read a book and keep myself partially together.
Biopsy of indeterminate nodules booked for November the 13th.

Going on holiday on the 15th and will try to park the thought of biopsy results - not sure how successfully. My partner is very calm and grounded, someone who is able to take one day at a time, so hopefully I too will manage to keep myself in the moment, even though I wanted it to be a celebration trip where we could dream and plan ahead.

@Bbq1 sorry you are here. Hopefully not for long. I had lymphoma too a while back (25 years ago). Ended up where I now am due to consequences from that treatment. May your stay be short.

Sfloof yes my 17 year old DD is my youngest. I have also a 19 year old at University. She has the distraction of her active new life. My youngest is stuck witnessing all of this. She is particularly empathetic, which makes her both more ready to console but also more easily affected by my predicament and feelings. She shouldn't have to take this on. My eldest seems to be better at denial and getting on with things.

Easier said than done (I'm probably the worst offender), but as the thread title says, must try not to borrow tomorrow's worries. Have a good evening all.

I'd planned some nice things last summer as a celebration of treatment finishing then ended up waiting for a biopsy and results, it's frustrating, one I managed to enjoy more than the other though they are both good memories now. Mine turned out to be negative, fingers crossed yours is too.

They used to tell me that aches and pains etc weren't down to chemo but they definitely were for up to a couple of years later.

After my first cancer triathlon I was on anastrozole and had awful aching joints for months. This time the chemo seems to have switched off the pain and swelling, but I am not yet back on hormone blockers. If they make it really bad I will stop them as it is borderline whether I need them.
For some reason my tongue and lips have sprouted a crop of painful ulcers. I’m on no medication so I guess it’s my body on strike.
I cooked a vegetable tagine with quinoa and toasted almonds and a tahini and yoghourt dressing. It was yummy but my mouth hurts.
@SierraSapphire that is exactly why I haven’t booked any celebratory trips apart from a short visit to York to see the Christmas lights. It’s tempting fate!

This was 6 months after chemo ended though @TopOfTheCliff - I did give it a few months then went a bit mad booking things!

@Bbq1 hello! Hope your stay's short, but everyone is lovely & it's very useful to have somewhere to rant! I'm with @TopOfTheCliff on denial being the way to go - I keep myself distracted with plenty of reading, crafting, and very slowly getting to grips with tarot (still reading the book that came with the cards in between other books).

Sorry your mouth's sore @TopOfTheCliff . How are your feet? (Sorry if you've mentioned them already & I haven't taken it in!)

Glad you've managed to put the brakes on the spiral @isaxx ! Looking down is not recommended!

No wonder you were in pain @Tilllly . Hopefully you're all snuggled up & enjoyed your glass of wine?

I've had a very slow day today after my return to work yesterday. Been for bloods this morning, then a cuppa and cake with my dad. Put Halloween decs out with dd1, then had a nap and baked a Christmas cake when I got up. Oh and marked out some more peg dolls. Actually, that's quite a bit but never mind, it felt slow.

Those folks who tell you sugar causes cancer would be horrified at what I have eaten today - cake for breakfast ish with my dad, shared bag of m&m's with dd1, a good helping of t-or-t sweets, and then half of a giant slab of biscoff brownie after my shower 🙈 . We ate the sweets in a very dignified manner, sat round the table & taking turns at answering the door 🤣 I don't think I've consumed any actual food 🤷‍♀️

Off to bed shortly - I'm in work tomorrow & am a little bit achey after yesterday. I had a lovely message from our class teacher though which made my day 😊

Hope everyone else is doing as well as can be.

@lucysmam my feet are still blistering and so are my hands but last time it took three weeks to settle. I am just impatient to get well again.

I called the breast care nurses this morning to see if we could get my mammogram done before my oncology appointment. She says it won’t be till January as that is a year after surgery no 2.
What about surgery no 1 says I. That’s due now according to the surgeons. Mutter mutter mutter. “It’s not due till January.”
I gave up. Que sera sera . I’m having my total hip replacement in January so won’t be able to go. I did tell her.

Yes thank you @lucysmam
A really big glass too 😊

I really hope you can still enjoy your holiday ISA

So sorry about telling your DS Tillly Is he coping OK? My girl coped really well, my boy we always used to call a Mummy magnet and he didn't cope well.

If anyone claims ESA I just found that mine has been auto renewed 2 years which is great, only found out as phoned as saw a thread on MN. So now goes to Nov 25. The guy also said claim pip though not sure can be bothered with the forms but very happy been renewed. I have heard Macmillan are good if anyone needs help with financial advice. Not used myself.

And our kitchen was finally finished tonight after 2 months and 1 week. Also went swimming. Floof has stuck his face in the paint of the outside painters and decorators, no idea how as he's an inside cat, they are outside painters but they are leaving windows slightly open so presumably Floof just did a painting inspection. He is such a little brained cat. Came off with soap and water.

LucysMam If sugar causes cancer then my life expectancy will be very low but I do take comfort in that the whole female line have had sugar addiction and I am first one to have cancer. Noone used to believe me about the sugar addiction as I was thin but I used to eat just sugar. 😃My granny used to feed me that really sweet sugary milk thing as a child out of the tin, sweetened condensed milk, whole tins of it. And swizzles are a weakness. I am trying to cut them all out atm.

@Silkiefloof
Please tell me you got a photo of painted cat?
Hope generally gets it on her whiskers

DS is back at Uni and sending me random texts about rubbish, a nice pizza he had etc. That's his way of caring I suppose. I mean, at 19, he's technically an adult. But he's not

One of our cats regularly comes home with motor oil on her as she hangs out under the cars in the car park at the back. The other one might too, but he's already black so impossible to tell!

@Fantasea thanks - I’ve finished my chemo - I feel a bit battle weary. Hoping I can do something to boost myself a bit.

Hope your feet improve quickly @TopOfTheCliff.

I did the walk 100 miles for cancer research in October- finished yesterday. I’ve raised a bit of money - every little helps - too many in my circle getting diagnosed at the moment- very upsetting.

@LemonDrizzle10
That's amazing 💪🏻

Wow @LemonDrizzle10 however did you get up the energy to walk 100 on chemotherapy? That is amazing. I can barely walk 100 yards without getting sore feet and breathless. I am going to visit my boat this morning before storm Ciaran arrives.
I think after chemotherapy the best way back to health is to exercise and eat healthily and be gentle on yourself. What is next for you?
Top

@Silkiefloof my granny was the same. I think because that generation grew up with rationing they just loved being able to spoil us with Battenberg cake and fondant fancies. My DH is addicted to sugar too, his dentist is horrified. My DC grew up with no sugary drinks and only 30p sweeties once a week and they have excellent teeth and no taste for sugar. They are a bit addicted to tea though!

Glad your DS is managing university Tillly and any communication off a male teenager is good.

We didn't get the painted Floof picture but here's a sleeping Floof. And a how I likely got paint on my ear Floof window inspecting.

Well done Lemons

That makes sense after the rationing Top I am trying to wean myself off and it's largely working, nearly 6kgs down in 5 weeks though also off Tamoxifen but just ate 3 jammy Dodgers so not completely cured.

Sleeping floof needs a kiss 💋

I've seen the consultant again today and I have an update. I am now been moved from respiratory to pure oncology.

The tumours and lymph nodes in the left lung are all cancerous as well as the couple of lymph nodes in the right lung. It's those right lung nodes that are the bugger

They are going to have a go at radiotherapy, even though the field is massive and bigger than they would normally do, but because I am otherwise strong and healthy and comparatively young, they think it's worth trying
That will be alongside chemotherapy as well

They are looking at the molecular markers in case immuno therapy might help

None of the tests have conclusively ruled out any metastasis in the brain so I've got to have a bastard MRI scan. I've had one before, and I completely freaked, rather unexpectedly, so I'm very unhappy about that.

And I've got some liquid morphine, a very low dose to just take if I am in pain or my breathing is very bad

So they are throwing everything, but the kitchen sink at it, by the key phrase they use is local control. They are not looking at a cure, just to stop it spreading for as long as possible

I am so sorry Tillly Floof sends you a big clumsy paw and big cuddle back.

Re the MRI some are much wider than others, ask for a wider one and explain you are terrified. The wider one was OK, the tight one was awful and I had to keep getting them to stop it as my head felt like it was burning. In ours the thin one was in a mobile unit, the fat one inside. My head was recently checked by CT for mets though it's not as detailed and gives off radiation.

Sending lots of love from me and King Floof. Maybe take Floof with you, sure he won't cause any issues!