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Anyone have OCD?

82 replies

tammylove · 08/12/2004 16:41

I have obsessive complusive disorder and im having a rough time with it at the moment.

i am feeling highly stressed and anxious and im feeling low.

Anyone else suffer so we can chat, i really need a friend on some common ground.

OP posts:
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 08/12/2004 16:58

My sister suffers terribly. It's SO bad at the moment, it's effecting my mum's health as she is the one who bears the brunt of it all with her.

Her main obsession is fear of harming others.

She thinks, about 12 years ago, she strangled a baby that she saw in a pram in BHS. Since then things have got really bad. She has so much self loathing and thinks she doesn't deserve a nice life as she is a cruel, evil child killer.

She ruminates.

Gets trapped in the bathroom for hours, can’t pull the chain etc.

Can’t be in kitchen or make a cup of tea, pass you something from fridge for fear of contamination

On rare occasion she leaves house she spends whole time worrying she’ll knock into someone, esp the old, and cause them to stumble, out of sight of her, and not be able to get up and die.

She checks everything.

She can’t write incase she writes something bad. Can’t talk or answer phone incase she says something bad.

She can’t concentrate on anything so doesn’t read. Music distracts her from ruminating etc.

She is a prisoner in her own home basically.

Has no friends, no life.

Breaks our hearts.

What are your obsessions and what do they prevent you from doing.
Have you seen anyone about it?

WigWamBam · 08/12/2004 17:03

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time with it at the moment, Tammy.

I suffer with OCD and depression too, I'm on ads which have helped with the depression. They haven't stopped the OCD, although they make me less stressed and anxious which has helped indirectly.

I don't know if my experience of OCD will be anything like yours, mine is mainly in my head - I count the letters in sentences as I read books and have to reach an even number, I have to find nine letter words, I have to do things equally on each side of my body, things like that. I have found that I'm less aware of doing them now that I'm on the ads, although they are still there and do surface every now and then.

Someone recently recommended a book about OCD called The Imp of the Mind by Lee Baer, I haven't managed to get hold of it but apparently it's very good (the person who recommended it is very clued up on OCD).

Is your OCD being treated at the moment, or are you trying to cope with it on your own?

tammylove · 08/12/2004 17:04

I have the fear of harming others, i fear contamination also. i wash my hands after i touch anything. i worry about my health, i always fear the worse even though there is a logical explanation.

I check things over and over, so much so it exhausts me. I count things in my head and my 'safe' number is 5.

I have had various counsillors and DR's etc. I am currently taking seroxat.

I have harmed myself repeatedly checking for lumps etc.

I feel so alone and silly. I dont know what to do.

OP posts:
amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 17:08


WigWamBam · 08/12/2004 17:08

Are you seeing a counsellor at the moment, Tammmy? It sounds as if the Seroxat isn't helping you at the moment, perhaps you should go back and ask for your medication to be reassessed. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is meant to be very good for OCD, would your GP refer you?

NoMoomAtTheInn · 08/12/2004 17:09

My mum suffers very badly with what her docs are calling atypical OCD. About 12 years ago she had ruminations about killing my brother, which were controlled with a combination of drugs, hypnosis, CBT and ECT Sad.

Now she has repetitive sounds and images in her head on a constant loop. No treatment has worked in the last 3 years. It is destroying her and our family. I feel so bad for you as even though I don't suffer it myself I know how destructive it can be.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 08/12/2004 17:13

Well don't feel silly and don't feel alone. After minutes of your post 2 people with experience of OCD responded to you.

I have been on other threads discussing OCD with mumsnetters in the past so know there are more people out there with it.

I know it's exhausting. I don't have it but watching my sister go through it i know and seeing how worn down my mum is I know.

I wish I could suggest something but I know there is sliit;le I can say.

My sister isn't getting any help at the moment as we've run out of things to do, people to see her.

My mum is going to make an appt with a GP to ask if he has any news ideas.

We've done that therapy whrere you sit in front of a bottle of bleach etc. At the end of th day i don't think my sister WANTS to get better in some mad way. All sje knows is OCD, who is she wothout it? It came out whjen she was 17 and has gort worse and worse and worse. She's 30 now.

WigWamBam · 08/12/2004 17:14

Tammy, just a thought, but you might get a good response if you put your message on the Feeling Low threads as well. There are some people there who are very clued up about OCD and depression who may be able to help you but who might not see this thread under Health.

snowvary · 08/12/2004 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnZephyrstdayofXmas · 08/12/2004 17:39

please excuse my ignorance here - what are ruminations?

It sounds like OCD is a really difficult thing to have to live with. I have never known anyone with it before so never realised it could be so extreme

tammylove · 08/12/2004 17:49

Zeph, ruminations are images and thoughts, often irrational that you fear you will act upon.
For example, i hide knives, hammers and screwdrivers for fear of hurting someone in my sleep or not been aware of what im doing.

I count things constantly and i cant sleep due to fear of my ruminations or the house burning down because i forgot to switch something off even though i have repeatidly checked everything.

I think i have serious illnesses when im ill and that i will die and my kids wont remember me.I live and feel completely tortured. Its wearing me down.

OP posts:
FeastofStevenmom · 08/12/2004 19:35

Hi there! I have problems with OCD and Depression (currently nearly - touch wood - recovered from a bad outbreak of compulsive handwashing that starting during PG). Sounds like you are having a very tough time atm. It is a real pig of an illness - when you are in the throes of it, it's like your half there and aware, but half not, as you are tormented by anxiety and your fears.

Have you spoken to your GP about how bad you are feeling atm? It might help if you altered your medication (higher doses of meds are often needed to treat OCD than Depression). Have you ever been referred for CBT? I don't think that counselling is much use at all for OCD - counselling may help with what other anxieties predispose you towards OCD, but won't directly help reduce the OCD thoughts/behaviour. Would you consider self-referring to a psychologist to obtain CBT privately?

Are you having problems with your hands being sore atm due to handwashing. If you are, I would suggest using soap bars rather than liquid soap (far less easy to overuse IME) and to use a light moisturiser as often as possible between washes. Docs etc always tend to recommend E45. Personally I found that a bit too thick - I liked boots own cucumber brand moisturising cream - very light and quickly absorbed.

Generally; two very good books on OCD are "The Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer and "Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals" by Ian Osborn. The OCD Foundation website is also very good. The Imp of the Mind is particularly useful as it deals with intrusive unpleasant thoughts - which isn't as "obvious" an OCD symptom in the minds of non-specialists as handwashing/checking etc, and isn't the sort of thing that people find easy to discuss.

take care

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 09/12/2004 11:32

I got to my mums to pick up Lottie last night and my mum was in tears. She had only just, at 6.30 managed to get my sister in the bathroom, after trying all day. which meant she wouldn't be out until 10 ish and would miss dinner at table again, which meant my mu having to take up a tray of something when she came out of the bathroom. She's at her wits end and can't take much more. Sad

horseshoe · 09/12/2004 11:43

tammylove and others...Im interested in reading this as i wonder if it might be an explanation for things.....

I have always suffered panic attacks for as long as i remember but they normally derive from some irrational fear of dying or hurting someone...if i cross the road flashes of being knocked down physically enter my head etc......if im ill im dying etc...

I managed to give up smoking a few years back but when i did smoke i had a constant urge to put the lighted end in my mouth....although i never did it the urge was there....

I feel like im coping with the panic attacks now but lately i've had really horrible thoughts and have to apologise to God or he will think im a terrible person (im not really religious)If i think bad things about DD im scolding myself all day for allowing the thought to enter my head. Aswell i think silly things like when im on a platform edge what if i jumped and things like that. Lately i have been getting dreams where people are dying or im dying.

My sister has OCD in that she checks things constantly and she cleans constantly so i never considered the thoughts in my head could be a form of OCD

I thought this was is for me... i thought the thoughts i sometimes had was because deep down im a spiteful bi*ch am I? or does everyone get these.

WigWamBam · 09/12/2004 12:00

Thoughts like this in your head can very much be part of OCD - mine takes the form of unwanted thoughts, counting rituals, number obsessions. MTS recommends the Lee Baer book, The Imp of The Mind for this kind of problem and she's very, very knowledgeable about these things.

Not everyone has these thoughts - at least, not all the time as is the case with OCD. Take comfort in the fact that you're not a bitch, there are other people out there with this problem, and with the right treatment it can be minimised.

WigWamBam · 09/12/2004 12:21

By the way, Tammylove, if you're interested I have a book on OCD which you might find helpful to read. It's called The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing and although it wasn't helpful to me (it doesn't deal with thoughts and things in your head) you might find it useful. I can send it to you if you'd like to read it.

horseshoe · 09/12/2004 12:28


I hope things are better for you than yesterday

Jimjambells · 09/12/2004 13:58

My autistic son has a big dose of OCD with it. Pretty bad at the moment- getting in the house is a nightmare as he wants to check ever single car on the street. We tend to try and "contain" his OCD- so we set limits- but that can cause real distress to him at times.

A food supplement that can really help apparently is TMG - might be worth googling. Basically it acts as a methylating agent- which apparently helps! The biochemistry of it is available online. We've used something similar (TMG) for his autism and thinking about it its since we've stopped that (he refused to have it) that his OCD has got bad again.

Jimjambells · 09/12/2004 14:00

Sorry should be DMG can help (also SAMe) (DMG/TMG/SAMe are all variations on the same thing more or less).

Jimjambells · 09/12/2004 14:02

\link{\here's a bit on DMG and OCD}

Jimjambells · 09/12/2004 14:02

My autistic son has a big dose of OCD with it. Pretty bad at the moment- getting in the house is a nightmare as he wants to check ever single car on the street. We tend to try and "contain" his OCD- so we set limits- but that can cause real distress to him at times.

A food supplement that can really help apparently is TMG - might be worth googling. Basically it acts as a methylating agent- which apparently helps! The biochemistry of it is available online. We've used something similar (TMG) for his autism and thinking about it its since we've stopped that (he refused to have it) that his OCD has got bad again.

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 09/12/2004 14:23

Tammylove, I can't offer you any words of wisdom I'm afraid, but I have read your thread and wanted to send you some hugs. I have suffered from a phobia all my life which also makes me very anxious and over-reactive in some situations, like you, so I know how wearing it can be to your mental and sometimes physical health. I have been referred for therapy which I hope will start in the New Year. I hope you get the advice you need here to do something about your condition too. Lots of love in the meantime. Smile

tammylove · 09/12/2004 14:29

Thanks guys. It means alot to me. Yes i would love to borrow that book WWB, if you dont mind. Do you want my email addy, or shall i have yours. Im also on MSN if thats any good. xx

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 09/12/2004 14:36

Tammy, if you CAT me with your address (that's contact another talker, at the top of the site) that saves giving out email addresses where other people can see them.

tammylove · 09/12/2004 14:39

Ive just done it wwb thanks very much. xx Means a lot.

OP posts:
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