has anyone ever had an abortion and felt it was the right decision or regretted it?

[pregnantbabyelephant]

if anyone is willing to share there story with me id appreciate it, although id understand if you didn't want to

do you get treated better if you go private?

still around (always around ha ha on mumsnet) if you need anything

pregnantbabyelephant. Lots of Mumsnetters have had horrendous births, as they have no doubt said on here (sorry not read all the replies), but your second can be different.

To be honest you don't sound so sure about an abortion. My criticism of abortion clinics is that there is not nearly enough counselling, they seem far too keen to just get you in and out of there. I used to run a website about unplanned pregnancies and a lot of women who contacted me were those who had had terminations and regretted it, a lot of those women would have changed their minds if the counselling had been better, but they felt as though they would be putting people out if they changed their mind - how awful is that?

Discuss this with your family and with your dh. Don't do anything that you might regret, life is far too short for regrets.

I am truly sorry you had to go through that. If I had the energy I would campaign for more counselling to women BEFORE an abortion. The way things are going, women are actually getting less counselling and rather than abortion being a womans right, it's becoming a noose around her head.

I second Rhubs - I had one and regret it so so much to this day, but I don't want to cloud you with all that, it's all on MN somewhere anyway. {{hugs}} Just make sure whatever the decision you have really backed it up, if that makes sense... that it's a really solid choice xxx

PBE,

my 2 boys are 11mths apart. my work didnt take too kindly too it, but it wasn't their choice, i wasnt asknig them to wipe pooey bums! i did go back after ds2, got promotion then left!

it can be done.

cx

p.s. am now a doula, if you are near me i will happily help you PBE.

xxx

hi thankyou so much for sharing your experiences with me, i hope i havent dragged anything up are anyone thats made them feel worse
wisttmh i can understand why you want to kill these people, how horrendeous for you for the nurse to laugh at you, sounds like what they did when you said you changed your mind was highly illegal.sounds lik your mum and dad forced you into it, where you quite young at the time ?

ive got an appointment with my gp at 2pm today, im really scared

don't think i want to abort the baby but i cannot face birth or an operation either.
im going to ask the gp how long ill hav to take the pillas if it only 9 weeks i only have days to decide what im going to do.

i think your right maybe i am imaging the baby by saying stuff like we all could love it and give it a good life and home

Almost all of my friends have had abortions at one stage or another. I don't think any of them regret it at all, although obviously they will always have mixed feelings and for some of them, a sadness about it.

I don't think you get 'treated' better if you go private, but you can usually be seen more quickly.

mum of djandp
please feel free not to answer any of my questions as i know they are quite personal

i did wonder if i have some type of post/ante natal desspression or ptsd
how did the midwife diagnoise ptsd? with you

i have thought about having a c section, and i think that would perhaps be what id be advised to do anyway because of the revious 4th degree tear? although most doctors dont seem to give you a definative guide to this, but im equally scared not i mean terrified of ops
although i wonder if they would be able to knock me out with a general ? if i had the section ?

feel he only thing that physically i would be able to cope with is the abortion pill and i feel the clock is ticking, and if im going gto go for that i need to go for it quick

but mentally im worried ill regret it

had a chat with dh again yesterday, what a valentines day to remember, anyway, he mainly said that its totally upto me and he supports me either way.
but he say he thinks am a great mum, i know hes trying not to influence me and hes taking a late lunch to go to the gps with me.

suppose the gps gonna be a bit shocked at me, oh well i guess thats tthe least of my worries

hertsnessex, im too far away from herts and essex but have you worked with women with previous 4th degree tears what where they advised to do on there next baby?
vaginal or c section ?

what is your personal view on the matter ?

Message withdrawn

Hi honey Id love to answer any questions unfort family coming now (pants cos I want to speak with you) or I could have spoken now

I think you sound like me (exactly) and in a nut shell i am concerned you will regret taking the pill before you have had some time (I realise you feel on a time limit though)

I am about tonight you can email me (any time infact)

krissyandchris @ tiscali.co.uk (no spaces)

sorry I cant type now! hope you email tonight. hope GPs goes well.

really am thinking of you!

PBE, I so understand where you're coming from. This has brought up a lot of memories for me. I got pg by my 2nd dh when my dd was 9 yrs old. I had a horrible birth first time round, they refused to give me spinal block when I was in active labour and it went on for days. In the end I had ventouse with bad and painful cuts. Not half as bad as what you went through but I was very traumatised by it. I then went on to have really horrendous PND although looking back, I wonder whether I was suffering from PTSD instead.

Anyway, when I got pg with my 2nd, I had a nervous breakdown and spent about 4 months of pregnancy in a terrible anxious state and was utterly terrified of the impending birth and the thought that I was told I would probably have PND again. I was in a terrible state and I confess that I didn't want to have the baby at that point.

However, my point is that you are unlikely to have the same awful birth experience again. I had an OK birth in the end and did things differently. I did have PND again but the HV was looking out for me and it was very short lived and treated immediately and so wasn't the big prob I thought it was going to be. I often think if only I'd known that it was going to be OK, I wouldn't have felt so bad when I was pg.

There are things you can do to ensure that history isn't repeated. Forewarned is forearmed and you can choose the birth you want, ie C section.

Hindsight is a great thing but I so understand how you feel because actually, words like those above don't help much because of the terror you're feeling. But believe me, if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy - and this is absolutely your choice - your experience will almost likely not be anything like as bad as your first one because you will be in control and will have made provision. In the end, all this stuff will be a distant memory I promise you.

I so feel for you - it's a horrible place to be.

Message withdrawn

shit im gonna have to go now and pick up dh, don't know how the hell im gonna come out with to the dr

i can see it now hello mrs x what can i do for you ? er well......

thanks for all your support, ill try and post later

sneaking on to see how the dos went x

PBE - my heart goes out to you. Good luck at the GPs and with whatever you decide.

HI PBE, just wondering how the Drs went. Thinking of you and hope that you're feeling more certain after the Drs.

PBE, I had one about three and a half years ago, I had been seriously ill having Dd, we went on holiday when she was 8 weeks old and i fell pregnant!

TBH I didn't want to take the pill as it seemed more of a drawn out process, than just going to sleep and its done, IYKWIM.

I hope you get all the advice you need today, you need to be really sure wether its just the birth thats putting you off more than having the baby.
An understanding consultant should be able to listen to all your fears and reasons, and hopefully offer you birth choices that you will feel more comfortable with.

It doesn't always follow that after one bad delivery it will be the same 2nd time round.

I truly hope you come to the right decision for yourself, whatever it must be. Best wishes.xxxx