Steve is going into the hospice this afternoon

[onlyjoking9329]

i know he needs to be there and hopefully they can get him more stable.

Dear Oj you know in your heart that the hospice is the best place for Steve at the moment, for all of your family.
Perhaps if you imagine this was happening to someone else, and you were telling Steve about it, I bet he would say " that bloke would be best in the hospice for a while".
Like someone else has said try and think of the good times, and that its the bloody evil cancer talking not your lovely Steve right now.
You are amazingly strong, I only wish I knew you in rl so I could just make you a cup of tea, tell you how fantastic you are and give you a hug.
Prayer for you again today xx

Sending you a heartful of love and prayers on Valentines day Oj xxxxx

Sending my love OJ x

For you OJ. Much love as always. x

thankyou for all your wise words, I know Steve needs to be there my head knows that,but my heart doesn't agree
the kids want to go and see Steve so I am hoping that he will be calm, just worried that seeing the kids will set him off about coming home.

Life is just shit sometimes oj - cruel and unfair and so randomly fucking awful.
There is nothing I can say but hang on in there.

For what it is worth, I really think you have made the bravest decision with the hospice - what is right for steve is not going to be the 'easiest' choice.

I was talking to someone the other day about ds2 and whether I should use an apnoea alarm on him (dh doesnt want to, I just don't know) and the paediatrician said something very profound but simple.

'In some situations there is no reason, as the situation is totally unreasonable' - this was in french so I suppose you could substitute normal and abnormal in translation' - but what he was saying was that there is no right or wrong as the situation dictates that you can just follow your heart/instinct and do your best. You are doing exactly that.

Morning OJ - sending you wishes for a good day today, hope that Steve is calmer when you visit. Stay strong, you are amazing xx

How are you ggg?

Good morning OJ and, Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you get the bedside picnic you had planned xx

I am ok thank you triplets.

Oh OJ.
There are some wonderful sensible messages here. Especially what ggg wrote.
Take care. Thinking of you and your family.

So sorry this is so painful, OJ, it is a terrible situation and i my heart aches for you. You are doing the right thing, for Steve and for the family he loves so much, and I hope todays visit is easier for you all. Take care.

How are you this morning OJ? Sending you much love and virtual support. It must be so terrible for you all. xx

just sending you some love from me x

Thinking of you and your family

OJ, I so feel for you. As you know I have a friend going through something similar to Steve at the moment and I'm watching her husband have to make very similar decisions to those you're making. And it all feels very very unfair and in some moments too much to bear.

Thinking of you and feeling the inadequacy of words.

thinking of you onlyjoking and i can only say threre is no right or no wrong we just try to do right.ggg amelia is using apnoea monitor at night only now,its lovely cuddling up to her now, i dont know if it helps, i know it helped her parents,

Oh OJ i feel for you so much, My Dad (with alzheimers) was always trying to come home, I hated having to leave him there - but had no chioce, the same as you have no choice. It is so awful i know. But with time, he will settle, my Dad did. Like you say, its not him, its the tumour, he is not this angry man and you know that. Hang on to that, and as i have said before, he knows, deep down, how much you love him.

Thinking of you with lots of love, OJ. None of you deserve this but you are doing your very best in a tremedously diffcult situation. You haven't let Steve down by trying to give the rest of the family some kind of "normality", and if he were not so changed by the illness, he would know this and support your decision.

Lots of love,
xxx

Thinking of you today OJ XXXX

i phoned our Mac nurse and had a chat with her, told her that Steve was angry with me cos he thinks he can't come home cos i won't have him. the doctor had writtin a plan out for steve and at the top it said that he needed to be in for a few days to get his meds settled and to give Jo a break.
of course steve thinks from reading that that i don't want him home
Mac nurse was going to have a word with doctor about things so that they could explain to steve.
when i went in today with the kids he was ok we had a valentine picnic and things were ok, then the doctor came down and it was clear that the mac nurse had told her what was happing cos she said ttttto steve that the only reason steve was there was for them to sort out his meds, they are hoping he will start sleeping at night and be calmer in the daytime.
thankyou all for taking the time to post and for caring about us.
ggg, thankyou love for your post it was very wise.

Hey OJ, huge relief your visit went well 4 u and of course the kids.

GGG yr soooooo good wif yr words.

Sanctuary bit quiet OJ so may just as well get an early one if you can.

Night night

xxxxxxx

was thinking of you and steve today oj. sorry steve has been so unsettled at the hospice.

OJ sorry things have been so hard with Steve in the hospice but glad the last visit seemed a little better. Hopefully that will have put his mind at rest. Take care.