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Original poster

AIBU? Taking pics of kids in hospital?

74 replies

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:01

Now I want to know if I'm the only one...

I cannot stand when parents post pictures on social media of their sick kids in hospital... like I understand if it's an ongoing situation etc but like an A&E visit, or if the kid is clearly unwell, upset and in distress... I couldn't even think about taking pictures of my child. I think people do it for attention.

Anyone feel the same?

OP posts:
Antihistamine62 · 16/02/2023 19:52

My child was admitted at 3weeks due to rsv and had a prolonged stay with some further complications. Did I take pics? Yes I did… but it was more for me. I shared one on social media (when we got home and he was well again) absolutely not looking for attention but to raise awareness of how bad the illness could be. Before anyone says ‘it was for attention’ I actually hid likes and blocked comments on it. Lots of people did reach out, which was nice but more with their own stories and worries.
I do agree though when we first got to a&e pictures were the last thing on my mind as I couldn’t think straight and just kept crying and the reality of how sick my baby was hit me like a train.

user1494050295 · 16/02/2023 19:56

The worst part of Facebook is when a friend likes a photo and the photo shows a picture of someone you knows child after major heart surgery. Grim. And completely inappropriate

elliejjtiny · 16/02/2023 19:58

It depends. I often take photos of my dc running around the ward before elective surgery. Sometimes they go on social media. They aren't ill, just happily playing and it can be boring waiting to go down to theatre. I wouldn't take a photo of a visibly ill child in a and e. My 9 year old likes to take photos of him in hospital into school to show his friends so I will take one of him for that. He also asked me to take a photo of him under anaesthetic so he could see what happens to him after he falls asleep. That one didn't go on facebook though!

Johnnysgirl · 16/02/2023 20:05

elliejjtiny · 16/02/2023 19:58

It depends. I often take photos of my dc running around the ward before elective surgery. Sometimes they go on social media. They aren't ill, just happily playing and it can be boring waiting to go down to theatre. I wouldn't take a photo of a visibly ill child in a and e. My 9 year old likes to take photos of him in hospital into school to show his friends so I will take one of him for that. He also asked me to take a photo of him under anaesthetic so he could see what happens to him after he falls asleep. That one didn't go on facebook though!

Do they actually allow you to take photos in theatre? I'm amazed they even let you in? 🙄

chineapplepunks · 16/02/2023 20:07

I think it's odd. A friend of a friends daughter snapped her femur and the mum posted pictures of her laying on the floor after the accident, her with the paramedics, the x-ray, her post surgery. It just felt icky to me.

Lcb123 · 16/02/2023 20:08

Agree with you - it’s quite demeaning. You can share updates without photos.

Florin · 16/02/2023 20:17

I don’t get this at all, checking in at the hospital is just the worst. The only time I have taken a picture is when we were in casualty with our ds who had a facial injury. A Grandparent is a doctor and wanted to see the injury themselves so they could assess, it went no where near Facebook!

BigFeelingsMoment · 16/02/2023 20:24

Been in hospital a lot. Taken a good number of photos and videos for various reasons including evidence for medical staff. Never posted on social media. A couple of photos of the view, which those in the know (close family/friends) will understand.

Loopylands · 16/02/2023 20:25

I think it’s fine to send family / friends a pic of your kid recovering in hospital but hate to see pics of kids in pain splashed all over social media! No need for that!

Nicu babies are different, parents have no other photos to share.

BigFeelingsMoment · 16/02/2023 20:26

I suppose I’m trying to say that photos are taken for all kinds of reasons, and in my case never for clout. It’s the inappropriate sharing that’s the problem not the actual photos.

Original poster
NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 21:09

After listening to you all, maybe it's not the actual photo taking, maybe it's the posting on social media that gets me, like yeah what a shame your kid is sick, but what a shame to post them unwell all over the internet.

OP posts:
Stickmansmum · 16/02/2023 21:11

Stop judging op. Does it harm you? And does it help the mum?

Judgyjudgy · 16/02/2023 21:18

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:07

Now like the previous poster said about possibly a persons journey like a NICU baby to let friends and family know updates etc, I feel that's different.

But when they post "at the hospital" with their poor kid crying etc etc, I'm thinking "shouldn't you really be focusing on your child than posting them in pain on social media"

Agree 💯

MissHoollie · 16/02/2023 21:21

I have done this because being in hospital with a v sick child is awful .
To have some support is helpful

Original poster
NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 21:23

Stickmansmum · 16/02/2023 21:11

Stop judging op. Does it harm you? And does it help the mum?

I'm not judging. I just have an opinion which I'm allowed to have.

OP posts:
Original poster
NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 21:23

MissHoollie · 16/02/2023 21:21

I have done this because being in hospital with a v sick child is awful .
To have some support is helpful

I'm so sorry your little one was sick.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 16/02/2023 21:27

It so depends on the situation but a&e no, never appropriate.

WhatHappenedToYoyos · 16/02/2023 21:28

Honestly so glad the internet wasn't like this when I was growing up and that I controlled what photos of me were or were not put online, not my parents! Every generation survived without posting online about their children before so why it's so prevalent now baffles me. Surely you want to afford your DCs the same privacy/security you had from strangers? Some of the posts I see on Facebook are people I don't know at all but a friend of a friend has been mentioned or liked it and suddenly it's out there for me to view. I definitely wouldn't be happy with this set up for pictures or information about my DCs.

Totally agree with you OP, it's completely unnecessary and I don't think people realise just how much of their information is shared, even on tight privacy settings.

Sodie · 16/02/2023 21:30

My daughter was seriously unwell in intensive care end of 21. I would post updates on instagram (not a Facebook user) but the only photos I would post were of a soft toy, window view, none of her at all. I didn't even take a single photo of her in hospital.

Original poster
NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 21:31

WhatHappenedToYoyos · 16/02/2023 21:28

Honestly so glad the internet wasn't like this when I was growing up and that I controlled what photos of me were or were not put online, not my parents! Every generation survived without posting online about their children before so why it's so prevalent now baffles me. Surely you want to afford your DCs the same privacy/security you had from strangers? Some of the posts I see on Facebook are people I don't know at all but a friend of a friend has been mentioned or liked it and suddenly it's out there for me to view. I definitely wouldn't be happy with this set up for pictures or information about my DCs.

Totally agree with you OP, it's completely unnecessary and I don't think people realise just how much of their information is shared, even on tight privacy settings.

I just don't see it being necessary. Like I genuinely feel for the children or babies, in hospital with drops and tubes or clearly crying in pain. I've seen people on my Facebook post videos of them crying in hospital. Shocked me so much that they weren't actually comforting their child but taking videos and posting on the internet.

OP posts:
Flossiemoss · 16/02/2023 21:34

Absolutely agree. I’ve had a sick child in hospital - picture was taken as we thought he was happy and looking well with his brothers post op. Picture was not for social media.

I can’t look at that picture - ds looks so ill.
now he’s older if I had put that picture on social media I don’t think he’d have forgiven me.

The kids do care what goes on social media and are very conscious of what goes out there. It’s not my place to create their digital footprint.

MrsMikeDrop · 16/02/2023 21:34

I have a 'friend' like this. The last picture was of her baby in the carseat that had thrown up everywhere. I unfollowed her after that! I also thought it was weird that the first thing to do was take a picture of your poor child, not to mention the actual photo itself was boak 🤢

Original poster
NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 21:36

MrsMikeDrop · 16/02/2023 21:34

I have a 'friend' like this. The last picture was of her baby in the carseat that had thrown up everywhere. I unfollowed her after that! I also thought it was weird that the first thing to do was take a picture of your poor child, not to mention the actual photo itself was boak 🤢

Like why do this? Your child is unwell but you take pics of them? I actually hate it.

OP posts:
Mollymalone123 · 16/02/2023 21:38

We have one like that in the family-checking in at a and e.Then a photo of teenager with drip in arm.all attention seeking-this is the dad.the mum will just text me telling me what’s going on.why she puts up with this crap I’ll never know.He’s done it a few times.I dare say once his kids become older they’ll tell him to stuff it.they don’t look too pleased in the photos either

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 16/02/2023 21:52

I know someone like this too. She had a really scary period over Christmas where her three kids were really unwell with some chesty/breathing type thing. Daily posts about how worried she was until one day she posted that the paramedics had been out and admitted her youngest to the hospital. It seemed pretty serious and he was in for about a week, discharged and then promptly readmitted again. She genuinely feared for his life. (I haven't spoken to her for literal years and yet I know all the gory details....)

Posting all of that is one thing. The photos were another. About 6 of the same photo, child bright red and crying, and his little face caked in dried snot.
Then photos of him pale and with a tube up his nose. A video showing his difficulty breathing.

In between the updates were half-hourly posts of grim newspaper articles, those dodgy quizzes, and funny videos of people falling over.

I get hospital with a sleeping child could be very dull but do I need to see absolutely every single thing you've read today?