AIBU? Taking pics of kids in hospital?

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 16/02/2023 19:03

I think it is very inappropriate.

mutchomoo · 16/02/2023 19:03

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NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:04

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Now a journey... I understand. Your situation is a bit different.

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jellybelly44 · 16/02/2023 19:06

Yeah it's gross and rely attention seeking. I wouldn't want to be photographed and plastered over social media when looking poorly enough to be in hospital. Why people do it to their kids I don't know.

Original poster

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:07

Now like the previous poster said about possibly a persons journey like a NICU baby to let friends and family know updates etc, I feel that's different.

But when they post "at the hospital" with their poor kid crying etc etc, I'm thinking "shouldn't you really be focusing on your child than posting them in pain on social media"

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WandaWonder · 16/02/2023 19:08

I don't think it's fair for kids privacy to put private things on the internet

When they are older they may not want them out there

rexythedinosaur · 16/02/2023 19:08

I can understad it above completely, when it's a baby who is in ICU. I feel like there's a bit of a difference between that and an older child who might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about it, if they were well and could have a say. That feels a bit strange to me but I do know people who do it and to each their own I guess.

Johnnysgirl · 16/02/2023 19:10

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:01

Now I want to know if I'm the only one...

I cannot stand when parents post pictures on social media of their sick kids in hospital... like I understand if it's an ongoing situation etc but like an A&E visit, or if the kid is clearly unwell, upset and in distress... I couldn't even think about taking pictures of my child. I think people do it for attention.

Anyone feel the same?

Totally agree.
When Ds2 was about 8, one of the kids in his class was hospitalised after an athsma attack.
She wasn't a particular friend of his, but we knew them vaguely from an after school club, so I texted to say I hoped she was ok.
By return I got a closeup of the child lying in the hospital bed, eyes closed, with tubes up her nose. No actual words, just this fairly macabre photo. I actually thought she was dead...
I deleted it immediately 😳

Noicant · 16/02/2023 19:11

Yeah I just wouldn’t be able to do that, it would feel invasive of my childs privacy and attention seeking. The people who are close enough to me to know Dd is unwell or having surgery have reached out on whatsapp etc.

Original poster

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:12

I also find it very disturbing, like I have a 4mo and I worry everyday. I don't want to see your kids all hooked up etc just for clout on social media.

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Allschoolsareartschools · 16/02/2023 19:13

Often accompanied by a cryptic 'checking in at hospital' tag to get as much attention many questions as possible.
Either post & let people know what's happening or don't post at all.

Noicant · 16/02/2023 19:15

I also just don’t want any pictures of her in hospital except her birth. I wouldn’t be looking at them again. A long stay I would understand a parent doing it if they were trying to track progress but I absolutely did not take pics of DD when she was having surgery. I took one video for DH as he wasn’t allowed into recovery because he wanted to know how she was doing but that was it.

Original poster

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:16

Noicant · 16/02/2023 19:15

I also just don’t want any pictures of her in hospital except her birth. I wouldn’t be looking at them again. A long stay I would understand a parent doing it if they were trying to track progress but I absolutely did not take pics of DD when she was having surgery. I took one video for DH as he wasn’t allowed into recovery because he wanted to know how she was doing but that was it.

Totally agree with you!

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Somuchgoo · 16/02/2023 19:20

I took a lot of photos when my toddler had a very prolonged (2m) stay in hospital, mostly because it was a way for me to monitor how she was improving (or not) from day to day, to send them to my husband (and vice versa) as only one person was allowed at the bedside at a time occasionally for close friends and family, and very very occasionally, for our wider group of friends on FB. Those ones were carefully chosen - 4 in 2m, 3 of which were us being discharged, the other one when we found out she was probably not going to die.

I shared a few more in a fb group that was very supportive, but again a few very very carefully chosen ones.

There are a lot of photos which no one else will see.

I can't stand A&E photos either :-(

Puppers · 16/02/2023 19:24

We did take pictures, purely because DS6 wanted the clout and attention himself (kid could barely speak he was so ill and yet this was top of his agenda 😅) but they were sent to my mum and my sister only. Definitely don't think it's appropriate to be sharing things like this on social media. I totally get it for very young babies in NICU, but not at all for older kids.

TheProseccoAlwaysWins · 16/02/2023 19:24

It's fucking awful

Puppers · 16/02/2023 19:28

Also taking photos in NICU isn't just about tracking progress or sharing a journey. These are the only photos some parents will have of their child's early weeks and months (or at all, in very sad cases) so to a lot of parents it's not so much "photos of my child in hospital" as just "photos of my child".

Johnnysgirl · 16/02/2023 19:28

We did take pictures, purely because DS6 wanted the clout and attention himself
Seriously? He asked you to send pictures, and you did?!

Theunamedcat · 16/02/2023 19:33

I took a couple of pictures the last time one showing his brother spark out on the floor the other showing him asleep with his mask on they looked funny and were laughing at them the next day

UnbeatenMum · 16/02/2023 19:34

I've taken photos (not in A&E) just for myself and in case my children are interested in the future. Not posted on social media or sent to anyone but I think I would be interested to see them if I had been in hospital as a child.

Original poster

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:42

Somuchgoo · 16/02/2023 19:20

I took a lot of photos when my toddler had a very prolonged (2m) stay in hospital, mostly because it was a way for me to monitor how she was improving (or not) from day to day, to send them to my husband (and vice versa) as only one person was allowed at the bedside at a time occasionally for close friends and family, and very very occasionally, for our wider group of friends on FB. Those ones were carefully chosen - 4 in 2m, 3 of which were us being discharged, the other one when we found out she was probably not going to die.

I shared a few more in a fb group that was very supportive, but again a few very very carefully chosen ones.

There are a lot of photos which no one else will see.

I can't stand A&E photos either :-(

I'm sorry your LO was unwell. I feel for you all! I think it's a subject where I think people can tell who is genuine in "update" pictures rather than someone doing it for the likes. The A&E ones are absolutely horrific.

I rushed my 6 week old daughter to A&E with breathing problems. I didn't take my phone, My partner took his but tbh it was in the back of our minds, not once did I take a picture or think about it. I didn't even want to let family know until we knew more.
I didn't post it on Facebook. I was too busy crying over my newborn.

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TetherEndOfMy · 16/02/2023 19:44

I don't understand people putting pictures of their kids on social media full stop.

Bytrgrewd · 16/02/2023 19:45

The worst I saw was a poor kid who had an accident playing sports and was immobilised on a stretcher before ambulance to hospital. Photos went straight on Instagram…

Somuchgoo · 16/02/2023 19:49

NaatQ968 · 16/02/2023 19:42

I'm sorry your LO was unwell. I feel for you all! I think it's a subject where I think people can tell who is genuine in "update" pictures rather than someone doing it for the likes. The A&E ones are absolutely horrific.

I rushed my 6 week old daughter to A&E with breathing problems. I didn't take my phone, My partner took his but tbh it was in the back of our minds, not once did I take a picture or think about it. I didn't even want to let family know until we knew more.
I didn't post it on Facebook. I was too busy crying over my newborn.

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I hope your little one is ok now x

I guess everyone reacts differently to a crisis situation, and there isn't necessarily a single 'right' way to act (though plastering photos on fb would probably not be one of them).

When my toddler became ill, I made a lot of phone calls, got me I needed to take a coordinating role and feel like I was doing something. Others, like you, might not want to tell anyone. Or somewhere in between.

I did have a vague acquaintance (a mum from a toddlers group) repeatedly message me asking intrusive questions and whether my daughter had lots of wires attached and to 'send pics'. Obviously I didn't, and blocked her (and then she contacted my by 2 other methods before finally giving up).

If it wasn't for her, I'd have probably not thought twice about sharing a few more pictures from hospital - milestones like learning to walk again, but after the weirdo, I locked everything down a bit. There are some very strange people out there.

Oopswediditagain2023 · 16/02/2023 19:52

Yes I agree. There's a mum from the school gates who must take her son to hospital every other month for minor ailments that could be fixed with a trip to the pharmacy 🙄 but she constantly does the whole "post a picture on social media with no caption" so people have to ask in the comments what's happened. I feel so sorry for the poor kid.
NICU journeys are completely different, and I also have a friend whose daughter has a rare condition so she has quite a few Instagram followers who follow their journey etc and I think it's fine for her to post about that as it's genuinely useful information.