Nut allergy sufferers: can you explain this for me?

[goodmorningsunny]

Since I was little, I've always known my dad has a nut allergy. However, he's always been a bit over-the-top about it, talking to anyone who will listen about how difficult it is etc etc. it sort of defines him.

My mum recently accidentally bought a plant based butter that she and my dad were eating for about 3 weeks before I noticed it was an almond butter. When I pointed this out to my dad, he went very red and changed the topic, saying "well that was lucky".

Was it though? He's always said he's allergic to all nuts. He's made us leave restaurants if he suspected they put nuts in things. He constantly carries an epipen, makes my mum carry one and teaches me and my brother how to use it at least once a year.

Is it possible to have nuts when you're allergic, to eat almonds for 3 weeks and not react (granted, not in huge quantities), and get "lucky"? Is there something I'm missing here?

Could he have just a peanut allergy? I’m not any sort of expert but SIL has a peanut allergy but is fine with some other types of nut.

Does he know which nuts he's allergic to? DD is allergic to walnuts and pecans, sensitive to hazelnuts and can eat almonds and peanuts with no problems. DD was allergic to peanuts when she was tiny but outgrew it.

Both my DDs have a nut allergy (hazelnuts) but can eat things with almonds in so I would say yes its possible.

You can be allergic to some kinds of tree nuts and not others.

My dd is allergic to peanuts (not a nut) and can eat foods with tree nuts in if she can't taste the nuts but if she can taste them she feels sick which is presumably her body warning her to not eat them.

DD has nut allergy but has been told she may be ok with almonds. Not willing to go through the tests though as the reaction is frightening.

problem with a nut allergy is that they’re in so many things and the level of reaction builds each time it triggers. Dd went for a meal, booked with notification of nut allergy, told each server twice and was still given a dessert which looked exactly like hers but the nut version. Luckily she’d literally just put some on her tongue and realised. Still ended up in hospital though.

you may think it’s an over reaction, but it is very hard to deal with

It's absolutely terrifying having an allergy that can kill you. It's like Russian roulette going to a restaurant.

A woman died in the street from cross contamination with a sandwich whilst Christmas shopping. A boy died eating a burger on his eighteenth birthday, having a meal with his girlfriend. Both had been careful and had asked about allergies.

Byron burger death: No damages payout for Owen Carey's family www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57000802

Woman with dairy allergy died after 'vegan' Pret wrap www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-62808456

Good on your Dad for taking his life threatening allergy so seriously.

Not all tree nuts are the same - I react much worse to some than others. I’m more amazed that no one thought to check the plant based butter. Naturli and similar should be forced to have big allergy warnings as it’s only a matter of time before they kill someone who innocently picks up a sandwich that looks safe. Your family obviously don’t take your dad’s allergy seriously or this wouldn’t have happened.

Surely if he has epipens a doctor has prescribed them and thinks he needs them.

Move out from living with your parents and don't let your dad take you out for meals if you are unhappy with his management of his anaphylaxis.

If he was severely allergic to all nuts he wouldn't have been able to eat nut butter for 3 weeks without a reaction.
Luck has nothing to do with it.

My nephew is allergic to four types of nut but he is OK with other nuts.

I can never remember which ones, so just avoid nuts for him altogether. Maybe your dad didn't know which nuts he was allergic to, or thought it would be easier to tell people that he was allergic to all nuts in order to avoid confusion?

Of course. But he might have been allergic to several nuts and jumped to the conclusion that he was allergic to all, while actually being fine with almonds.

I know someone who had an allergic reaction to nuts previously and now avoids them altogether, but she has never had an allergy test.

My DD is allergic to peanuts and Brazil nuts, but is fanatically vigilant about all nuts, even the ones she's not allergic to. If you have a nasty or scary experience with an allergy at any stage in your life then you might be quite committed to communicating that with extra precautions. I could imagine someone simplifying what they say about their allergy by saying it's all nuts, rather than the boring detail of which nuts. Then it might be hard to back track from that. Sometimes people who find social things tricky will also hang their identity on a quirk that they feel makes them special, and even a medical thing can be this. So maybe try a bit of empathy and give him some space to update his medical condition without any loss of pride. You could say 'that's great dad maybe you have grown out of your allergy to some nuts - why not get a test again?' rather than catch him out in a lie?

I've got a tree nut allergy and also peanut allergy but I used to eat almonds and marzipan etc as a child. I did start to react to it but very mildly. I don't go near them now to be safe but probably could tolerate some..

Also don't underestimate the MH effects of having had a potentially fatal allergic reaction. I was diagnosed with PTSD after my anaphylactic shock reaction as I was suffering massive panic attacks at every meal and was a nervous wreck. You're very dismissive of how he feels about managing his allergy. Also given his age he probably lived with it for a long time before things like Epipens existed. I know I did.

My son has a life threatening allergy to one particular type of nut. We were told some nuts share a similiar structure so reactions are likely but not guaranteed, and some nuts he wont react to at all, but to avoid all nuts anyway. The doctor said it is easier to say 'no nuts' as it will avoid cross contamination due to how nuts are stored or misunderstandings / mistakes.

"You could say 'that's great dad maybe you have grown out of your allergy to some nuts - why not get a test again?' rather than catch him out in a lie?"

Love that! Yes. Agree. Tree nut allergies can wax and wane, and you can react to the same allergen completely differently each time. There is some well researched literature about desensitizing yourself to peanuts, by having a small amount each day etc, but obviously it's done under a drs supervision and the research hasn't extended to other types of nuts. So it's possible your da didn't have a reaction as the % in the butter was low/the cooking process to make the butter changed the structure which made it less potent etc

I'm not second guessing the Dad's thoughts, behaviours or motivations.
If he's prescribed an EpiPen I would find it a little hard to understand why the GP hasn't offered blood tests. You only get EpiPens if you are anaphylactic or at possible risk of it.
I have a nut allergy. I've never had a full anaphylactic reaction, but the wrong nuts will bring me out in major hives and affect my throat and make me feel or be sick. I'm only positive to certain nuts (not peanut) but the advice I have had was to avoid knowingly eating nuts of all kind. I don't have to avoid traces of nuts and have accidentally eaten almonds without reaction. But I don't tell people I am allergic to all nuts.

My DS is severely allergic to peanuts and tree nuts - but there is one nut that shows up as not allergic - I have a feeling it might be almond? But anyway we have always avoided all nuts regardless just to be sure. So it’s possible that someone wouldn’t react to almonds but would to hazelnuts or walnuts for example.

Clearly he's not allergic to almonds! But he may well be allergic to other specific types of nuts. I know someone who is only allergic to cashews and someone who's only allergic to peanuts (both confirmed by skin prick and blood tests).

It seems unlikely any GP would prescribe an EpiPen for him completely needlessly so presumably he's had testing in the past and/or a severe reaction?

Weird though that he looked embarrassed when you mentioned it. Some people really do let their allergy define them.

Absolutely possible to be allergic to some nuts and not others so technically be able to eat the ones you’re not allergic to. That still comes with risks though.

I’ve recently had a peanut allergy confirmed. The reaction that kicked off testing was to almond butter. My description of the reaction led to being given an epi pen straight away , told to avoid all nuts followed by bloods and skin prick testing. The tests show I’m definitely allergic to peanuts (a legume or ground nut) but not allergic to any of the common tree nuts I was tested for, including almond.

So why did I react to almond butter? Likely a cross contamination reaction - most nut products are processed in the same environment so even nuts I’m “safe” with could be contaminated with peanut. in fact anything processed or not made in a separate part of a kitchen comes with the risk of being made somewhere where cross contamination is possible.

ideally I’d avoid anything that says ‘may contain nuts’ but if I did that I’d never eat anything, so my compromise is that I mostly eat things I have had before and know were safe, acknowledging I’m taking that risk, however unlikely, and always carrying epi pens. Im careful in restaurants and declaring an allergy usually means the manager comes out with their allergen menu and takes the order.

it might be that your dad doesn’t know exactly what he’s allergic to and has believed he has to avoid everything since he reacted to nuts at some point, which is the advice I was given until testing, then told to proceed with caution /a level of risk that I felt comfortable with. He might also know but not feel comfortable with any risk though, hence the behaviour you describe - but it is a shame it affected his and your family life quite a bit! If that’s the case!

@User56785 my parents actually have just moved into my house recently after they sold their house and I pay for all of their food and bills so... please don't assume.

Thanks others, these are the answers I'm looking for. I presume he's allergic to some kind of nut, but clearly not almonds. I also know he's not allergic to cashews due to a similar mishap with accidentally eating them.

He also told us all he was fatally allergic to dogs... after asking my grandad about it, it turned out he was just terrified of them! Anyway, he's fallen in love with my dog now and hasn't uttered a word about his allergy to them since (he got very angry with me for getting a dog and refused to see me for 6 months!)

My mum said that he once got diarrhoea after eating a curry with nuts in on holiday. She thinks this is where he got the idea of being allergic from. He wasn't allergic when she met him and had never known him to have any other kind of allergic reaction other than the shits. I think he's self reported the allergy to the doctor (which I had to do with my daughters dairy allergy, we were never offered an allergy test!)

Almonds is one of the least common nut allergies in the UK.

Pistachio, cashew and hazelnut are more common. Peanut too (though this is a legume).

There are 10 nuts and it would be unusual for someone to react and be allergic to each of them.

It makes me a little sad that you seem to lack empathy for your dad here, despite his best efforts to educate you on allergies.

It's terrifying having a life threatening allergy and if he's diligent about keeping himself safe, this is to be admired.

My son is allergic to peanuts, other legumes and most tree nuts too.
But he is OK with almonds.