Nut allergy sufferers: can you explain this for me?

[goodmorningsunny]

Since I was little, I've always known my dad has a nut allergy. However, he's always been a bit over-the-top about it, talking to anyone who will listen about how difficult it is etc etc. it sort of defines him.

My mum recently accidentally bought a plant based butter that she and my dad were eating for about 3 weeks before I noticed it was an almond butter. When I pointed this out to my dad, he went very red and changed the topic, saying "well that was lucky".

Was it though? He's always said he's allergic to all nuts. He's made us leave restaurants if he suspected they put nuts in things. He constantly carries an epipen, makes my mum carry one and teaches me and my brother how to use it at least once a year.

Is it possible to have nuts when you're allergic, to eat almonds for 3 weeks and not react (granted, not in huge quantities), and get "lucky"? Is there something I'm missing here?

I'm staggered that the NHS will continually prescribe epipens to someone when there doesn't seem to be a confirmed anaphylactic allergy. They expire so need to be regularly replaced and cost the NHS around £45 each.

I have issue with you saying that he must have allergies already when they can start at any time of life . Yes some allergies get worse but some improve over time

I'm allergic to peanuts and I struggle with anxiety as a result. To the point where I almost always have a panic attack when eating out and have had to put a lot of work into feeling calm when eating. I certainly prefer to tell people I am allergic to all nuts rather than specify - it's easier to communicate and helps me manage (some of) my anxiety

DS is very seriously allergic to peanuts (epipen essential) .

He's also slightly allergic to walnut and almonds, enough that he avoids eating them because they make him wheeze or itch. But they don't produce anything like the anaphylaxis risk from peanuts

OP@goodmorningsunny
Actually just noticed it was a butter spread type thing. These are made with almond oil.
Allergies are a reaction to the proteins in the nut. The refining process to make the oil removes the proteins . In very expensive oils which are cold pressed may be a problem, but highly refined oils the proteins are completely removed and the risks of an allergic reaction are negligible.
If you look at the warning on an almond based butter it says may contain almond protein not a contains almonds warning. So this could be why he has not had a reaction to the almonds

This is a very good point @bruffin. My dd is anaphylactic to peanuts but can have peanut oil.

You're right about refined oils. However I assumed the OP meant almond butter (ie the almond version of peanut butter, and made with whole almonds). I'm not aware of any almond oil butter substitutes?

I think she meant a plant based buttery spread like margarine

You may be right, I'm just not aware of one that's almond oil based.

Actually I take that back - I've found Countrycrock plant butter with almond oil. You're right something like that shouldn't trigger an almond allergy. It does warn it may contain almond protein but that's only a "may contain".

OP if it's something like that he ate, it definitely doesn't disprove almond allergy.

DIL is allergic to tree nuts such as hazelnuts but not peanuts. She says she has never tried almonds so she doesn't know. I also don't think your DF would get an EpiPen without any evidence.
But it sounds as if you have other stuff going on, with them in your house and a new baby. Is the issue more that you feel overwhelmed and your dad's "fussing" seems indulgent? Could you talk to your mum? Get them to help out more? Don't forget - your house, your rules!