What is your dumbest ever injury?

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Fell of the middle of a slide and injured my back as a child

My bin was full, so thought I would stand in it to push it all down. Good job it was dark and I slid down the side of my house. Was all in slow motion, scrapped my hand and back as well.

Have posted some of this before but...

Stapled my own thumb. Twice.

Sewed with my sewing machine into my index finger deep in the nail.

As a child, roller skated over my own hand and broke my finger.

As an adult, poured a bottle of nail varnish into my eye thinking it was eye drops.

Gave myself a black eye getting out of a car, head caught between car and door (done this twice).

I've walked into a lamppost and given myself a black eye.

I slid in my friends kitchen (wet floor, no grippy boots), and frankenstein cut all down my whole arm (there was a drawer with no front, arm caught on that).

I've sat straddled a wall and fell forwards.

I've sat on a wall and fell backwards and landed on my head.

Theyre the highlights which come to mind. There's definitely more.

Caught my dressing gown sleeve on a door handle. Pulled it of in a rage and punched myself in the tit. Was painful, but not as bad as the week later, when I did exactly the same thing, and punched myself in the already bruised tit.

Leveraged off a coffee table to switch on a light. Table flipped, needed surgery on my shoulder. Every medical person I saw shook their head and sucked their teeth. They said the injury was what they see in a person coming off a motorcycle and damaging their hips. Got a lot of oooooh that’s a rare injury, and difficult to recover from. It is indeed. Table was only 1.5” high 😬

Ahem 1.5’

Fell off a futon and broke my foot from a height of 4 inches, punched myself in the eye brushing my teeth, whacked myself in the mouth with the handle of my cane. I have arthritis and inherent clumsiness.

Woah woah woah! Wait up there.

Do....do they not have stinging nettles in the States??

I've recently taken up the unpleasant habit of shutting doors on my fingers while busy looking the other way/chatting to my family.

The other day I did it on a finger that was softened from a long shower and shaved all the skin off of both sides. Ouch.

Climbed a fence and sat on a large nail as a child. Still have a scar on the back of my thigh as I ripped it open trying to get off the nail.

Sliced my finger open to the bone opening a catering sized soup packet when I worked in a kitchen.

Moving house and lifted a tv out of the boot of my car and slipped a disc in my back.

I was out running and a dog on an extendable lead ran out in front of my and took my legs out. Broke both of my arms and head butted a stone pillar and cracked my skull.

Twisted my ankle walking down my stairs at half seven in the morning, landed on my other foot and shattered my ankle and talus bone. Have had two operations and awaiting a third, can’t walk properly anymore.

I need protecting from myself!! 😂

As a teenager, set fire to a cotton bud to see what would happen. Plastic stick melted and dropped burning cotton wool and plastic on my thigh.

ME TOO. It hurts.

Id gone outside to check the gas meter,wearing my slipper boots
kids started belting each other inside,so I sorted the meter and rushed back inside-only to catch the slipper boot on the mat-broke two toes

year to the day later-wearing slippers-I’d gone outside to wave to a friend-kids started again so rushed back in,slipped on the same mat and broke the same two toes

a&e noticed the dates matched and asked if everything was ok at home

fell over a wet floor sign at work-that’d put there 3 seconds earlier

tripped on a wet floor-my manger was stood there mopping it and I didn’t see her

fell down the back stairs at work-got back up and fell again

fell at home in the garden-and landed,tit first on my dps pushbike handlebars-20 minutes later,tripped over a large plantpot

8 months pregnant,I was redecorating my dds bedroom-fell off a stool and broke my elbow
was forced to give birth with a cast

i trained to be a hairdresser and I used to trip over the chairs in every lesson

we have a playhouse (it’s massive) at work that we have to board up to stop the teens destroying it-I’ve given myself a black eye twice from those boards-I’m banned from going near it

Paper cut on my eyeball from an IKEA wardrobe manual.

This just made me WINCE

Yes it hurt alot! Very sore and couldn't open my left eye for a week..

Couldn't be bothered lifting the rake off the ground so figured I would make like a cartoon and step on it to flip the handle up. Turns out they flip up a lot faster than you expect and I missed grabbing it. Got a massive Black eye.

When a teenager my father was putting up a new fence and nailing in boards. I was a nosey thing and was hanging around, keeping an eye on what he was at. Got too close as I literally peered over his shoulder. When he lifted the hammer back to strike the nail, the hammer's claws caught me in the mouth. Split lip needed stitches.

Bought my nephew a balance beam that was barely two inches off the ground for him to practice balance on for gymnastic. Figured, "That isn't so hard" and had a go myself. Was very cockey and took my eyes off my two year old niece who then stormed into me in a manner to make a rugby player proud. I managed to grab her as I tumbled backward but landed on a paw patrol plane toy hip first. Fractured my hip. A 'bullseye' or 'cobweb' fracture. Was on crutches for months as it healed. The ultimate insult? I had to replace the paw patrol plabe cause my niece loved the damn thing and was inconsolable that it was broken. Never mind that it broke me.

Doing art over lockdown and was using a wooden mannequin/articulated figure to sketch human forms. Went to manipulate the figure into a new pose and somehow managed to nip the web of skin between my thumb and finger into the space between the thigh and pelvis of the figure. The figure had some kind of wire spring articulation, so it squeezed and hurt like a @!"£. Other half had to pull the figure apart to release it but I lost a perfect semicircle of skin and had to go to minor injuries to have it glued shut.

The masterpiece of my life that I still haven't lived down to this day? I broke two fingers in university while being intimate with my then GF. Between explaining the series of events to the A&E doctor which led to it and then lying to my module supervisors about why I couldn't write assignments for 6-8 weeks afterwards, it was the single most blush inducing moments of my life.

Punched myself in the eye when I was trying to hang up a very heavy soaked haynet for my horse and the string broke.

I was in a first aid class at school. I tripped over a “casualty”, who grabbed my ankle, I fell over her and dislocated my elbow. The doctor in the Emergency Unit couldn’t stop laughing!

Oh man you've just reminded me of the time I was picking up a soaked haynet, tried to swing it over my shoulder and pulled a muscle in my arse that meant I couldn't sit down for about two weeks. Was really sore and I was sole charge on a yard at the time with six big horses to exercise. Riding was not fun!

Out for a run with someone, went to turn and tripped over her feet

I will trip over everything, including thin air

Slipped on cat sick on a wooden floor and broke my wrist. Compound fracture!

I broke a dog biscuit in half and a crumb sprang up and stuck to my cornea. Eye A&E found it very funny and had to put the instruments down to laugh.

I had pulled the bed out to hoover behind the headboard. Before hoovering I stood on the bed to dust the cornice with a feather duster so if any dust fell down I could suck that up when I hoovered.

I finished with the duster then stepped OVER the headboard. The headboard bruised my vulva.

Stapled the palm of my hand out of sheer boredom when I had a terrible job.

It really hurt.