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General health

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Original poster

Following from RedMist's thread

56 replies

Monkeytrousers · 09/01/2008 13:22

It really struck me how many of us on here have experienced depression - and that volcanic anger.

I think for me it comes from the fact of feeling totally out of control of my own life, just as OneBatMother said, sometimes this gets projected onto cleaning the bloody house as it's the only thing you can control - but of course that's an illusion and only serves to drive us more mad!

I was just wondering how many of us on here have suffered depression, especially after becoming mothers. You may have suffered from it before, but if you think that becoming a mother and losing status and control of your life exacerbated another attack?

The MN?s I know about (and who have posted on here about it so I hope I am breaking no confidences) are: Me,Expat,Coldtits, NiceGlasses..and my memory fails me now, but it would be interesting to know how many of us have experienced this. (Time for that poll function MNHQ??)

Please sign in below. Thanks

OP posts:

purplemonkeydishwasher · 09/01/2008 13:24

me. very me.

ProjectIcarus · 09/01/2008 13:24

suzywong · 09/01/2008 13:26

me
I started Fluoxetene after I slapped ds1 round the face and then let my sons stroke my hair and say :don't worry mum, don't be sad" for 10 minutes.

I'm planning to come off it next month, new behaviours have been learned and I am In Control of my life again. It's looking very rosy. However, I think I probably should always have been on it for PMS, but I'm having hte Mirena fitted next month so that should take care of that nuisance.

lulumama · 09/01/2008 13:26

horrendous PND, ended up in hospital when DS was 4.

littleboo · 09/01/2008 13:28

Me, PND with ds1, probably had been with dd1 before, on meds all way through pregnancy with ds2.

hertsnessex · 09/01/2008 13:30

pnd after ds1, never diagnosed - even more so after ds2. no Anti-D's but alot of alternative things.

notjustmom · 09/01/2008 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Monkeytrousers · 09/01/2008 13:32

Are you going to reduce the dose Suzy? I am doing it really slowly as I want to be able to track any changes. I am on 20mgs every two days but am going to wait for 4 weeks to see what that effect is.

Wonders if you can get Prozac in 5mg tablets..

OP posts:

Slouchy · 09/01/2008 13:33

Me. diagnosed mild PND after dd2 (no presc), struggled on for 2.6 years with seesawing moods etc. saw a counsellor for a while last year, that helped. Just about on even keel now.

suzywong · 09/01/2008 13:35

dunno
my GP lives 3 doors down and has a remarkably fine wine cellar so I may just go cold turkey.

Part of me wonders if being on it long term is such a Bad Thing as I am reather pleasant to live with atm.

suzywong · 09/01/2008 13:35

dunno
my GP lives 3 doors down and has a remarkably fine wine cellar so I may just go cold turkey.

Part of me wonders if being on it long term is such a Bad Thing as I am reather pleasant to live with atm.

colditz · 09/01/2008 13:37

Breaking no confidences here ... there are reams of threads dated early 2006, where I was pregnant and genuinely losing my mind ... and a lot of that was that something was happening to me that I couldn't control.

plus other areas (money, housework) were being taken out of my control by my (then) partner. Loss of control causes fear, fear begets anger, anger begets loss of control, and so we continue.

IdrisTheDragon · 09/01/2008 13:38

Me - have suffered from depression on and off for the last 15 years. Was depressed during DS's babyhood but didn't really appreciate it.

More serious depression triggered when I got pregnant with DD - was on ADs while pregnant and until she was about 18 months. Enjoyed her babyhood much more than with DS - was on autopilot with him. Totally adore him now .

Am back on ADs again and have been since September (so only managed a few months off). Will be having CBT some time soon.

For me depression is characterised by extreme irritation and anger. Didn't post on RedMist's thread but I really do empathise.

colditz · 09/01/2008 13:39

when you become a mother, you become a puppet dancing on strings of love, and all it takes is someone or something to tweak them, and the panic sets in,.

KrippledKerryMum · 09/01/2008 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilRedWG · 09/01/2008 13:42

Me - have acknowledged that I suffer with depression for the past ten years but suspect I probably did from a child. Had PND after a miscarriage and after DD was born. Am on fluoxetine. DD is now almost 20 months.

ArcticRoll · 09/01/2008 13:42

I had really bad PND for about six months from when dd was about nine months old.

I didn't seek help and used St John's Wort. Looking back wished I had been to see GP.
Also wish I'd known about Mumsnet at the time as I felt very isolated and scared.

I am now fully recovered and tbh have tried to block out the memory.

LilRedWG · 09/01/2008 13:43

MN has been a lifesaver and God-send to me.

SeaShells · 09/01/2008 13:48

Me. Started after DS was born, never diagnosed, then after DD1 was born it rapidly got so much worse, and I eventually saw a doctor (when leaving the house became a nightmare for me due to suffering severe panic attacks). So that's 9yrs now, I am currently not on AD's and am considering going back on them if things don't improve in the near future as I am noticing I have clear signs again that things aren't right. The anxiety of having to do things outside my home, leading to avoidance of leaving my home, which leads to trying to gain some meaning/control in my life by 'sorting the house' which then gets obssessive and I become stressed at the fact that it's a never ending mission.

Prufrock · 09/01/2008 13:54

me - as i am finding out now through my wondeful therapy I have alsways had issues, but being able to be a successful, in control, validated career woman allowed me to submerge them and seem (and feel) fine. And post dd I went straight back to work and being "me" so stayed fine. But post ds, having moved area, and become a SAHM I lost that semblance of control, and my whole sense of mental balance came crashing down. It took 14 months to realise that I was ill, another 14 months on AD's to feel well enough to face my problems, and will probably take another 14 months of therapy to fix them.

Prufrock · 09/01/2008 13:54

I'm not sure that mine was true PND (in that it the catalyst probably wasn't the hormonla surges of pregnancy and childbirth) more a breakdown waiting to happen. I did have PND symptoms immediately post ds, but by talking to dh, and throwing myslef into house moveing and studying I returned to some form of "normality" It was only when I had to realise and admit that I couldn't be perfect (something that I think many of us don't have to face until we become parents) that I couldn't cope with anything anymore

SorenLorensen · 09/01/2008 13:57

me. I had "down" patches pre-kids but a combination of work and sleep (on a bad day when I wasn't at work I would just crawl under the duvet and stay there) meant it wasn't really a problem - tended to be hormonal and PMT-ish.

Then I had ds1 and got severe PND - I've posted about it on here before on a thread emkana started. It was the most hellish time of my life - and I would say I didn't really begin to feel 'myself' again til he was almost 3. I took two courses of anti-d's; imipramine (which didn't really help much but enabled me to function...vaguely...but when I came off it when ds1 was a year old I crashed just as badly as before and ended up spending a year on Prozac).

I got it again with ds2 and, while it was pretty bad, it was never as bad as with ds1 - I didn't have that "new baby" shock and, this time, I knew that it would get better and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't know that first time round and I really thought my life was over. Was on Cipramil with ds2 - which I found very hard to come off - think he was 4 before I stopped taking it.

Last year was a bad year - didn't talk about it on MN (I don't tend to when it's bad - I talk about it afterwards). I had been determined that I wouldn't go on anti-d's again but things got very bad at one point and I rang my GP for an appointment. She was on holiday for a fortnight and I didn't want to talk to anyone else so I (somehow) struggled through and it gradually got better. But it was a very up and down year with rather a lot of downs.

I do understand the 'rage' - I do a lot of door slamming (cupboards mostly) and I fling things around. When ds2 was a toddler I threw the TV remote control at the wall and smashed it (it was 5 in the morning - and he had been waking between 4.30 and 5 for weeks, in my pathetic defence). He was terrified - he ran upstairs to dh, sobbing, saying "it bokken!" I felt absolutely dreadful..so, so bad.

That was a bit of an epic, wasn't it. Anyway...yup, me too.

suzywong · 09/01/2008 13:59

sorenlorensen are you marthamoo?
is this thread just about PND?

SorenLorensen · 09/01/2008 14:01

I am - I felt like a change. No, I don't think it's just about PND. I don't think I can claim PND for my downs over the last year when ds2 is 6 now

FioFio · 09/01/2008 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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