Following from RedMist's thread

[Monkeytrousers]

It really struck me how many of us on here have experienced depression - and that volcanic anger.

I think for me it comes from the fact of feeling totally out of control of my own life, just as OneBatMother said, sometimes this gets projected onto cleaning the bloody house as it's the only thing you can control - but of course that's an illusion and only serves to drive us more mad!

I was just wondering how many of us on here have suffered depression, especially after becoming mothers. You may have suffered from it before, but if you think that becoming a mother and losing status and control of your life exacerbated another attack?

The MN?s I know about (and who have posted on here about it so I hope I am breaking no confidences) are: Me,Expat,Coldtits, NiceGlasses..and my memory fails me now, but it would be interesting to know how many of us have experienced this. (Time for that poll function MNHQ??)

Please sign in below. Thanks

hello moo xxxxxx
and fio xxxx

Hey, suzy - I didn't know you'd been having a bad time (now there's an understatement) - I'm glad things are more balanced now. I know what you mean about why not just stay on them - I think I was nicer on the anti-d's but I always felt kind of 'flat'. No downs (which was good), but no real ups either. Just bobbing along, singing a song, at the bottom of the beautiful briney sea...and Fio thinks she's losing it

Some days i don't even get out of bed. Its been like this since Ds2 was born but never diagnosed and don't think it can be pnd as hes 4 now.

No, not only PND

Thanks everyone for being so honest

Suze, that sounds a bit like a recipe to disaster! Sorry mate.

If PND isn't treated it is still PND isn;t it? Doesn't matter if your DS is 4 I should think.

My mother is still suffering from PND 30 odd years after giving birth I reckon! So much so it's just who is is now.

Shakeys who looks after your ds while you are in bed?

Me. It came on very gradually when DS was about 1 and i finally went to the Dr when he was about 2.5 and she said it had probably been building slowly folowing the hormonal turmoil of pg etc.

I took cipro-something for 6 months, and am now fine.

It knocked my confidence though, and some of my memories of DS's toddlerhood are full of guilt, rather than joy.

I'm only teasing MT

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They come into my bedroom and put cbeebies on my tv. I know it sounds awful and i am truly ashamed of myself. I get to the point where i think things have to change and i do a massive clean and be a perfect mum which lasts a few days and then it just crashes down and i can't face the thought of having to wake up in the morning and it all starts again. No one outside of the house would ever know, i'm miss popular centre of attention everyones best mate when i'm out but they have no idea who i really am.

How about just shifting to the sofa, shakeysgirl? Just try to get dressed in the morning - what about their meals and things like that?

By the way, I really am not shocked, I have felt damned close to it myself on many occasions, but you know yourself it's not ideal.

with me, it used to be because I dreaded facing my kitchen - trying to find clean plates to serve toast on, or getting out of the house to get some breakfast because there were no clean plates and I could not face the kitchen - and I can see, I really can, how it would be easier to stay in bed.

when I felt really bad I bought in a big stock of paper cups and plates.

Had PND after ds was born, suffered for a year before I saw GP. Was on Citalopram for a year which worked wonders and came off it last may. Fell pregnant a month after coming off it and have been very ill in this pregnancy and definately feel low. Not sure if it's the pregnancy causing the depression or whether it would have come back after finishing the AD's.

It guts me that I feel this way again as I felt so much better on the ad's and thought I'd kicked the PND. I guess time will tell once the baby's born as to whether this is a temporary blip.

Although if I get into the same state as I did with ds I'll be down the doctors like a shot. I kick myself everyday for wasting so long in that state.

Its often because i can't face the mess down stairs that i hide in bed i've gotten to the stage where i've thrown all the plates etc in a black bag and chucked them because they had been dirty for so long i couldn't face washing them. We use paper Plates alot. I can't even afford to do that anymore. I have 3 court appearances due this month and got a ccj yesterday. Saw the cab and go back there on the 21st. I really am trying. They missed alot of school last year due to me but not missed a day since sept.

Well done. I know it is hard. can you train them to each wash their own plate after they have finished?

And have you talked to surestart? They really are great with depressed mums.

moi aussi

Me.

Me, absolutely.
Feel TOTALLY out of control of my own life and you also lose the opportunity to go out and have fun and be silly with friends - at least I have.

No kids.

I am shite at the moment, loads of rubbish self harm stuff going on.

Not depressed or on anti-depressants though. I have therapy once a week.

Am absolutely terrified about when we do have kids (not until 2010? prob) that I will go completely off the rails, when I am bad I am really bad and take it out completely on myself.

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