Cancer support thread #82

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

My oncologist is fine with sage but he is considered to be quite progressive. There is venlafaxine which can stop the hot flushes but it is quite difficult to stop taking. Have you found some brands better than others?

@Undermyblanket I’ve been looking at research articles and it appears that common sage is fine but Spanish sage is to be avoided.

Thank you @MrsPnut…today is the first day I haven’t had a big messy cry for about 3 weeks! I class that as a win!

Joining in with the cat pictures…any excuse! Both rescues, between them they rule the roost ❤️ we are here merely to serve!

@TwoBigNoisyBoys epic cat game there. I think I had your messy cry today, along with an epic strop and an angry outburst at my oncologists secretary.
I might take your messy cry tomorrow too.

Beautiful cats TwoNoisyBoys and MrsPNut My DH is like your pug photo MrsPNut and the cat lies on top of him her chin on his chin and she gets very jealous of me and if he speaks to me a paw goes over his mouth first warning, second warning the claws come out. DH came back from his piano lesson today and walked in said hello to the silkie chicken and the rabbit then hello my lovely little darling cat, how have you been, does my darling cat need more food? He is the cat's preferred person as the only person daft enough to give service 24/7 and he even sleeps on a single bed to be with her some nights.

I just keep sleeping at the moment, think my body has too much anxiety and am shutting down. Only thing am doing is fighting the LA for schools, whole load of hassle I don't need. I get depressed at times thinking my life will never go back to before nor will my body and more bits keep getting trashed. But just reaching the end of treatment would be a start and at least I got to 48 before being diagnosed but always imagined being in good health until around 70. And the war stuff does not help either, seems I just read about cancer or war or covid or school problems. I so miss my old life where could look good, keep fit, travel anywhere in the world, great job and kids were fine but at least I had those years. Returning to hibernation. I would love a Maine Coone but DH says not whilst we have the three pets and he is not wrong.

@MrsPnut thank you for your reply.
My consultant has phoned to put my mind at rest. I can take Sage as long as it's not the Spanish type.
I have a face to face meeting at the end of next week and she and my nurse will advise me further.

Just jumping in quick to say I heard yesterday I will keep my job. Relieved is one word…

@Podgedodge that's great news!

I had my PICC line fitted this morning so I'm moving to the specialist feeding ward later this afternoon, I still feel poorly and in pain because I've had no nutrition yet but emotionally I feel better now that things are moving forward a bit.

Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate it x

Podge That's great can keep your job.

MissSmiley Glad they have PICC line fitted now and hope they will shortly start sorting out the rest.

DD is just having mocks atm - I was told about all the economics questions today, she started that a year late but seems to be getting it now, lot to catch up, she is doing so many 12 gcses and 1 AS level (level 3). Just sleeping a lot and watching silly TV programs, start chemo on Monday.

@Undermyblanket Great news, hope your hot flushes are under control soon.
@Podgedodge I’m so glad you can keep your job, one less thing to worry about.
@MissSmiley I hope once you get some nutrition in you that you start to feel better.
@TwoBigNoisyBoys I did have a messy cry this morning in the shower, hopefully that meant you didn’t get one today.

@Silkierabbit DD is also doing GCSE’s, we’re in the mad panic of art portfolios being handed in next week.

I saw my oncologist tonight and we have decided to just go for radiotherapy, I’m having a more old fashioned version so we can miss most of my damaged tissue. I have an appointment with plastics next week and may well need a skin graft but we can face it when it comes.

He was lovely after my rant at his secretary last night, and we talked about my medical negligence case which has helped me feel better.

@MrsPnut I'm sorry you're feeling upset, did having a cry help? It always makes me feel better

I moved up to the feeding ward last night, but this morning early hours I started with diarrhoea, then out of the blue I’ve had a very big dramatic pain attack! Lots of drs rushing around, they don’t know what’s caused it, it’s eased a bit with morphine, thought I was dying. I think it might have been my first Whipples attack, I have read about them but it was the worst pain ever, lasted about 20 minutes I suppose. They're sending me for a CT scan in a minute but I don't think it will show anything if that's what it was.

@MissSmiley It did thanks and then my oncologist last night made me feel so much happier too. I’ve been in limbo for weeks now because of my hole.

Your pain attack sounds horrible, glad you had lots of staff around to help. Morphine is good stuff sometimes.

Hi everyone, hope it is ok to post on here but i am so scared right now. I'm currently waiting for tests to check for bowel cancer. Back story, i got referred for an ultrasound to check a mass in my abdomen. The guy who scanned me was convinced it was a fibroid. I then got urgently referred to gynae due to size and fears of it pressing on my kidneys. Gynae then sent me for an mri scan which revealed the mass was actually growing on my bowel. So now i'm waiting for gastro to contact me and i can't cope. I'm barely sleeping and not eating, all i keep thinking is i wont see my 3yr old grow up

@AFB2022 Welcome to the thread no one wants to join, pull up a chair and we’ll hold your hand whilst you wait.

Thank you

Well AFB I really hope its not cancer and you get the all clear soon. I have breast cancer and fibroids, don't know much about bowel masses so no real idea what your chances are but if it is cancer there are lots of treatment options none of them fun but they will do everything they can so you can be around to see your little one grow up. We will also be around to help you through it though really hope it does not come to that. I was so worried I would not see my kids grow up especially my one with SN when first diagnosed who will need help for years, mine were 14 (SN) and 16 which helps over a young child but its the most scary/sad feeling and sending you love and hugs. The best thing I found waiting was to try and distract yourself, I pretended it was not happening but its really hard. I just played music, watched trash TV etc, listened to birds and if you are up to it exercising can help, I just do 20 mins from bed each time I can motivate myself. I currently do nothing but sleep but went through the no sleep phase too. Try and eat at least enough to keep going and make sure you drink enough fluids. I went off food too past 2 weeks though went into overweight category for first time in lockdown so its done me no harm but you probably need energy to keep up with a 3 year old, teenagers just stay horizontal and sloths can keep up with my two.

So sorry about your pain attack MissSmiley Hope they can offer some help with that.

Hope the art gcse went OK MrsPNut I think art is a lot of work. DD has lots of subjects but no practical ones, mid mocks, RE today which I know nothing about so that no chat through questions for my answers today. Its quite hard to remember my GCSEs anyway and I always worry if I give her an answer it will be wrong though she tells me I am right and she isn't one to be diplomatic .

Love to everyone else.

In cat news DH asked what to have for dinner and I said fish pie, its a creamy fish pie with mash we have and Silkiecat gave a big meow so I am having half and DH no doubt is giving his half to the cat. She is supposed to be on a renal diet but she is adamant the vet just gave her extra food and the vet said that is OK but she has just got fat since her renal plus normal food diet started. Silkie now has her bark back rather than hay floor which rabbit was eating her floor and territory grabbing by pushing her pen so he could claim land for himself even though he has lots of his own hay and the silkie is much happier and laid an egg very loudly today at 7am. 15 mins of telling the street.

Well should be welcome.

@AFB2022

So sorry you've found yourself here, especially with a little one. I'm 2 plus years from surgery for colon cancer which was picked up by chance during routine monitoring 5 years after surgery for a v large ovarian tumour - fortunately non-malignant - so I have a foot in both camps, Gynae and Colo-rectal.

I'm just like you with anxiety. Worry goes straight to my stomach. After 2 days of eating nothing but a banana and a chocolate flake, my lovely GP prescribed a low-dose anti-depressant with Valium to tide me over till they kicked in. It was a godsend. Don't know what I'd have done without it.

It sounds as if you'll need surgery to remove the tumour, whatever it is, so could be long-haul and the fitter you are the better. Do you know what tests they are doing? Have you been referred for a colonoscopy?

Everyone on here always says that this is the worst bit, the not knowing, and you will feel better when you have a plan. And it's true. Fingers crossed you won't have long to wait.

Wilkie
This may be an insensitive question - apologies, if so. But do you ever eat Silkie's eggs? My dental receptionist rehomed battery chickens and was absolutely horrified when I asked her if she ate them. I was thinking of old boilers, v difficult to buy now, and flavoursome stocks and soups. She's never looked at me the same ever since. I do understand now.

Sorry! Silkie!

Can i ask was your colon cancer physically inside the colon or growing as a mass outside? I'm trying to eat now and its going straight through me, which i think is the anxiety causing it. I'm waiting to hear about a ct scan. Nothing has been said about a colonoscopy yet. Still not even heard from gastro. It is the worse not knowing but also i'm scared to know what it is. I feel like just ignoring it all and never going back for more tests.

@AFB2022
Mine was on the inside of the transverse colon. That's the bit that goes across the top, under my diaphragm, about 3 inches above my belly button? It hadn't physically burst through, but cells were found in tissue next to it on the outside. Lymphnodes clear. No symptoms at all.
Are they sure that it's bowel cancer? I did meet someone with a gynae problem who was diagnosed when they thought she had an abscess on the outside of the bowel, but it was endometriosis-related, nothing to do with her bowel. It's all a bit jumbled up down there.
How long have you been waiting? Have you been allocated a keyworker yet? You could ring them, or your consultant's secretary, to find out some sort of time-scale. It varies between different trusts but they used to stick to a 14 day limit between one thing and the next.
Otherwise, keep busy and one day at a time worked for me.

Thyme We don't eat the silkie's eggs but you can do, they are tiny though about 1/3 the size of regular hens eggs but look just like miniature fried / poached eggs if you cook them. The kids both say its cruel to eat the eggs, DS worships chickens and DD is veggie / vegan. Our neighbour sometimes eats them. DH did have 2 once and think they taste like normal eggs. Silkies don't lay as many eggs as normal hens, they are all about looks / fluff.

Was supposed to have my BUPA first counselling session from Macmillan today but they phoned 2 minutes before to cancel and could not arrange another time and said another person was trying to attempt suicide so not very therapeutic.

@AFB2022 everyone on this thread will agree I’m sure that the waiting is the worst part…scanxiety is a real thing! I understand exactly how you feel, (although with me I was informally diagnosed at my very first appointment so I wasn’t waiting to find out if it was cancer, as I knew straight away). I hope you get the appointments you need through quickly. I can understand the not wanting to know, I think we’ve all wanted to run away and ignore it all!

All I can say is everything is so much easier to cope with once you have a diagnosis, and, if necessary, a treatment pathway. Sending you love xx

@AFB2022 oh your poor thing, the waiting is truly the worst bit. I too can relate to wanted to run away and ignore it all. How long have you been waiting for gastro to contact you? I was an anxious mess as soon as all my troubles started and my GP put me on beta-blockers which have helped enormously, I'm still on them.

I can understand your confusion about your abdominal mass. I was told from a CT scan that I had a 5cm right ovarian tumour and an 18cm left ovarian tumour. After surgery, the 18cm one was in fact a fibroid! However I also had disease in the left ovary but not anywhere near as large as they had said. It's the not knowing and 'what ifs' which are so hard to deal with. I'm hoping you hear about your appointment soon and am sending you a hug Xx