Sorry English is my third language, I hope I don't articulate wrongly.
Stroke took both my maternal grandma and my mother life. My mom died of a sudden stroke, the massive bleeding in her brain cause her to stop breathing, she died on the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
I guess this is a vent post, and warning TMI below so please exit if TMI is not something you want to read.
---------
Last year, I fall very sick. I was bedridden for 3 weeks, 105 degree fever, and my oxygen level drop dangerously low that I thought I would have die. I didn't die, but it resulted in an area of my brain tissue died (the white stuff in your brain), due to the lack of blood and oxygen an that area. Doctors said brain tissue once it gone it gone permanently, it unable to regenerate it self after the damage.
My husband took care of me the whole 3 weeks I was very sick (the bedridden me).
You name it all, feces, urine, all bodily fluids, my husband he wipe and clean up my poop from liquid diarrhea to solid, my urine, my vomit from porridge to bile all came back up. Trust me, adults feces are nothing like babies, it worst. And the whole 3 weeks through my illness was he by my bedside day and night, spoon feed me, wipe and clean my feces and urine, clean my body, he did it all.
I appreciate him alot, without him I don't know what to do.
I did recovered, but afterwards my hair massively, like massively fall out. And the area of my brain tissue that died resulted me in have flare up episodes of severe headache that just won't go away regardless of what I do, you just have to let the flare up run it course.
Half a year later (after my recovery), one day I was sitting on the sofa with my husband he watch News, suddenly my headache flare up, this time the severe degree was alot worst, I grabbed my head and I said Darryl, my head hurts. And next thing I know was the whole left side of my body including my head drop/fall to the left side.
.........
Next thing I know when I regain conscious, was I was in my husband arms, he was crying alot, and he said: I'm really afraid. (I guess afraid of me die). He said I loss consciousness about 5 minutes or so, and the ambulance it on the way.
The ambulance took me to the hospital, I didn't die like my mom. I got an ischemic stroke (while my mom had a hemorrhagic stroke that caused massive bleeding in her brain, she didn't make it). My ischemic stroke was right near the area of the brain tissue that dead in my brain due to lack of oxygen and blood flow, so perhaps there a connection.
The doctors gave it to me straight, warned me to be prepare for a big stroke, even a hemorrhagic stroke like my mom, due to stroke run heredity on my maternal side of the family (both my grandma and mother died of big hemorrhagic stroke that killed them right away).
Plus an area of my brain tissue that dead/the white stuff in your brain that already died. So it put me in bigger risk of stroke.
To be honest, I'm prepare. Death is something that we all have to face one day. If we don't go by stroke, we go by other ways.
It just there times when I woke up found my husband crying. Heck, there was times even during foreplay, yep, foreplay, while he on top of me sucking on my mouth while he cried, and he look deep into my eyes and he said: I'm really afraid.
Throughout our marriage, he always said he wants us (me and him) to live till we 80s, but then he said: only IF that means living is with me. I guess basically, he always has my demise on his mind.
We together 11 years, married 7 years, and we haven't parted a day in the whole 11 years. We not young at all, but we not super old neither. I'm 37, and my husband he 36. For a 'man' age 36 is definately not old.
Sorry, I guess it a vent. And I'm 37, and here waiting and knowing that big stroke will come to me one day like my mother. I guess I should concentrate on love my husband more and live a happy life with him, whatever will comes will comes.