Ds cannot retract foreskin at 11

[Goldfish]

Ds2 could do this at 4 but ds1 still can't do his. I did talk to the Dr a couple of years ago and he said to leave it for a while, as he is not getting any infections or discomfort. It still does not look any better though but he adamantly refuses to go to the doctor. He is such a private person, exceptionally so, he is ok at home but always goes into cubicles in toilets and changing rooms. It would be his worse nightmare to be lookd at there. I really would not want to have to put him through that, or circumsision unless absolutely necessary. The dr never look at it before, I just went to have a chat with him without ds. Ds has tried soap and vaseline (sorry for the detail) but to no avail.
Has anyone experienced similar with their ds? Any advice gratefully received.

Sorry, goldfish, I have no idea, though my ds1 (nearly 6) can retract his and could from 3 or 4. Could you find some info on the web somewhere that might persuade him that there may be a problem and he should see a doctor?

Sorry, that's probably useless, but if nothing else I've bumped you up!

Isn't there a website called embarrassingproblems.com or something? Also some internet based GP websites where you can pay a fiver and ask a question and get an e-mail reply. FWIW (and he'd kill me if he knew I was saying) my dh had a similar kind of problem when I met him. I read something about it being a poss cause of prostate cancer (also obviously painful on intercourse) and so he went to the GP. GP suggested regular 'massage' with some sort of lubricant and told him to come back if this didn't work. It did. I guess your ds would also be embarrassed about you suggesting this, but it might beat a visit to the doctors. Could you ask the doctor yourself and explain he wouldn't want to be examined? It might not be necessary, they might just be able to advise you. HTH.

Thanks for that ponygirl and Jiminycricket - I didn't think I would get any replies on this one.
I have had a quick look on the net but keep getting different answers. You just wouldn't believe some of the sites I've accidently come across though looking for this subject! I think I may go to the dr without him again thought last time I did that he seemed a bit impatient, as though I had wasted his time in not bringing ds. There are other Drs at the practice though and maybe they will be more sympathetic.

Sorry, but I think he def. needs a trip to the GP, I know someone who had a circumcision as an adult because of this problem. He also needs to make sure he keeps it really clean underneath as he can't clean it the normal way.

My DS who is 6 can not retract his either, I took him to the doctor a few months ago for advise.
The Dr said that as it was not tight enough, so that he "sprayed", when going to the toilet, also he has not had any infections, then it didn't need cicumsision.
He also suggested regular"massage" with KYjelly, but you say your DS has already tried this type of thing and it's not worked.
I'd see if you could persuade him to see the GP, or try KYjelly for a bit and see if that works.

Thanks for your advice.I might try the KY jelly although he has used vaseline before, whether that would be the same, I don't know. The trouble is I don't think he does it for long enough. He sticks at it for a week or 2 then forgets about it, but I will have to remind him.
That is my worry SecondhandRose, that he will have problems as an adult. It is dfficult at his age, but I am going to try and have a good look tonight to see what I think. Thanks for your support.

Better to have the op. now than as an adult methinks.

Yes, I know you are probably right, I keep hoping that it will just right itself, silly I know. I just wish he wasn't so worried about showing the Dr. I know he would just adamantly refuse and how can I force him? Its strange ds2 will just merrily waltz around in the nude no matter who can see him, like if his nan comes round and he is in the bath, he couldn,t care less whereas ds1 wouldn't dream of letting anyone except me and dh see him and he has been like that for years. I know it sounds stupid, but it would be his worst nightmare to have anything done down there, it really would, which is why I was hoping there was something else. I did get a bit of a look tonight though and it is not improving

It's a man thing, get DH to sort it out with him. Get him to take your DS to the GP. If he needs an op. you can just tell people it's for something else. Organise it so it's done at the start of a school holiday, I'm sure hospital would be helpful as it's intimate.