SORRY VERY LONG POST Nightmare pregnancy really worried!

[ChanFirstTimer86]

Hi guys this is my first and only ever pregnancy. I am 18 weeks today and 35. Now abit about me I started very obese 16ish stone at 5ft1. I also have IBS and constipation anyway due to painkillers. In 18 weeks I have gone up nearly 3st!!! Im nearly 19st (I cant remember my exact start weight it was 16 something) I am extremely constipated. I am on 3 different types of laxatives and still struggle with my BMs. Im also severely dehydrated (im not diabetic). My whole life I have been a constant urinater day and night. Literally 30 times or more every single day. I cannot drink the recommended amount of water its just not worth the toilet trips. During my pregnancy Im still going to the toilet excessively but I have dry mouth, cracked skin side of my nose and dry lips. Which is madness to say I am still urinating constantly. I am wondering if I weigh so much because of a combination of IBS bloating and constipation made worse by pregnancy and pain killers and also swelling due to water retention? my midwife is really annoying. She just constantly says she doesnt know what I am going to do if I keep gaining like I am all the way through! which is not helpful. She is also dismissing Im developing SPD because of how soon. I tried to explain to her im 7st over obese (30 BMI) and 9st over Overweight! (28BMI) a baby weighs 6 to 10 pounds so yes eventhough I am not far along it doesnt matter what a baby isnt pushing on me because of the relaxin and my heavy weight it makes sense that I have been experiencing it early. I have all the symptoms back ache, vagina ache and pain, pelvic ache and pain, top thigh ache and pain, knee pain, pain when gettin up and down, standing, walking etc. I am eating really well sure I eat massive portions but so many vegetables and fruits. I do eat the odd treat but not bad enough to have gained so much weight. I havent EVER put on weight so fast and Ive eaten much much worse. I just dont know what to do I feel so unsupported. My mum had her last baby 15 years ago she cant remember much and im single and live alone so got no one to help me. Im just really scared this weight will not stop creeping up. The thing thats making me feel a little better is my clothes still fit except for the tummy area and breast area. If someone had gained nearly 3st of actual weight it would be allover wouldnt it? my legs would have gotten bigger arms etc. Another thing is my shoes dont fit by the evening another sign of swelling. REALLY sorry for the long post I just dont know what to do. I have physical hunger but no appetite. Meaning I get up in the morning because im experiencing the worst hunger pangs of my life that snacks dont even touch I have to get alot of food down me to make them go. Because I am trying to eat well thats a heck of alot of food and yeah its just depressing when you dont have the desire to actually eat it. Thanks in advance for any shared experiences or advice x

why are you eating overnight OP?

im confused about that part, but you need to follow a very sensible eating plan.
cut most carbs, up the exercise as much as you can. Even adding in an extra 5 minute walk a day helps.

@SweetBabyCheeses99

3 stone is 19kg…that would be 19L of water retention so the same amount of water as one of those huge water cool barrels. So I don’t think so. Neither are you retaining 19kg of poo OP. You are putting on weight because you are consuming more calories than you are using. I don’t care if the www told you to eat 2460 - the evidence would indicate that this is way too much. It’s a shame that you didn’t get all of your health issues and medications a bit more under control before ttc but please try and see a Dr to get a more comprehensive plan in place.

who said I was ttc you dont know me or my situation

ive answered these questions already no point going over it again and dont care if you dont like the www. the dietitian at the hospital today did. You know nothing about me I have said several times the dietitan oked my diet and calories consumed its not enough to be putting on the weight I am. I am going round in circles with everyone here repeating myself the threads got too long and people arent reading it. So might as well leave it here. I am going to go insane explaining BMR calories are higher when you are obese I dont know if this site locks threads but I am done. Thanks for anyone that had something constructive to input I will be getting my thyroid result tomorrow and im going to check the fake diabetes thing. I kinda feel like Im talking to a brick wall and part of me is going to be REALLY smug when I give birth and I lose alot of this weight like ive read so many women have. End of the day a hospital pregnancy specialist dietitian has okd what im eating and the calories so thats all that matters

Urinary retention (which you have ChanFirstTimer86 as you can't fully empty your bladder) can be directly caused by constipation, as well as by kidney problems and by diabetes. In the immediate term you need to drink more, not less, to sort the urinary retention out and avoid UTI s and further irritating your kidneys.

You're on several medications and self medications which can cause kidney issues so this is a concern, but the constipation could be the cause of the other problems.

Please remember that not all herbal/ natural medications are safe in pregnancy. Obviously lots of poisons are also natural - natural things can be harmful in the wrong context, and you need to double check that the doses you take of natural, non prescription medications are safe in pregnancy and safe with your other medications.

Drink more water - its counter- intuitive but will help with the urinary retention, the constipation and the wayer retention and also the feelings of hunger.

When you get your thyroid results (if you're still reading) its worth being aware that Hashimoto's disease (a cause of hyperthyroidism) also causes constipation...

I think OP that you are so certain that you are doing the right thing that no one here can help you.

Opioids and peppermint are dangerous in pregnancy, very dangerous for your baby. Your baby won't have opioid withdrawal in the womb, but there's every chance they will when they are born.

You are putting on weight so quickly because you are eating 4-5 meals per day, at times we aren't designed for eating, like 2/4am.

I wish you well but I think you need to really start to understand what you are putting your body and your baby through.

I have to agree with most of the other posters, I am not saying that you don't have additional medical issues. But you are eating way too much. You should only be having an additional 200 calories a day in the third trimester! Your having additional calories now which is not required. Given your large intake of food that would be enough to sustain a baby without the additional you are giving yourself. I didn't change my diet at all when I was pregnant.. so I didn't really gain that much weight. You seem to be hiding behind the fact the dietian didn't complain about your diet, but if you behaved with them the way you are behaving on here I'm not really surprised they didn't say anything because you won't listen. A large proportion of women on mumsnet have been pregnant and had babies.... its not like we all don't know.. you should have 2000 calories a day and that's it. No more 5-6 meals a day, breakfast lunch dinner and a few snacks. I knew of someone who was pregnant and went to their doctor as they were so hungry in the night they had to wake up and eat something and the doctor said to her well, you don't need that food really do you? You are not taking advice from anyone on here, you are using a calorie calculator which goes against nhs advice. We are all wrong it seems.

Well said @JupiterWeb

Op I think maybe you need to open yourself up to the possibility that you may not be totally right. You're in a very difficult position and I hope you find something that can help you.

I don't have any experience of this. But I do remember reading about someone who was pregnant with lots of water retention being advised to have juiced cucumber each day. She juiced a couple of cucumbers and had the option of adding an apple for sweetness, and she said it did reduce it. It could be worth a try. But hopefully your GP, midwife etc can support and advise you more.

Can you ask to go consultant lead? It really doesnt matter if your weight was 30% poo and 30% excess water and 40% you and baby you would be hard pushed to be offered a epidural at your BMI.

IIt's much easier to have these conversations when your in the anti natal clinic then on a labour bed.

As I was consultant lead I had excellent care and always two midwives in the room. always. But that's purely due to pre eclampsia. Even before my waters went and before pushing. Normally you would labour mostly on your own with one midwife. So the moment you need the pain relief you might get the standard "no". Assisted delivery options might also be difficult.

@IncessantNameChanger

Can you ask to go consultant lead? It really doesnt matter if your weight was 30% poo and 30% excess water and 40% you and baby you would be hard pushed to be offered a epidural at your BMI.

IIt's much easier to have these conversations when your in the anti natal clinic then on a labour bed.

As I was consultant lead I had excellent care and always two midwives in the room. always. But that's purely due to pre eclampsia. Even before my waters went and before pushing. Normally you would labour mostly on your own with one midwife. So the moment you need the pain relief you might get the standard "no". Assisted delivery options might also be difficult.

I'd be shocked if OP isn't consultant led but from memory my consultant appointments didn't start until the beginning of the 3rd trimester

You've asked for advice but many people are giving you advice which you then dismiss. You're coming across as quite arrogant TBH.

You're eating HUGE amounts of food.

Just because your mouth is dry, doesn't mean you're dehydrated.

Going to the toilet very regularly when you first up your water intake is perfectly normal, as is weeing more frequently when pregnant.

You've obviously got a lot of issues going on and I hope you get some answers.