SORRY VERY LONG POST Nightmare pregnancy really worried!

[ChanFirstTimer86]

Hi guys this is my first and only ever pregnancy. I am 18 weeks today and 35. Now abit about me I started very obese 16ish stone at 5ft1. I also have IBS and constipation anyway due to painkillers. In 18 weeks I have gone up nearly 3st!!! Im nearly 19st (I cant remember my exact start weight it was 16 something) I am extremely constipated. I am on 3 different types of laxatives and still struggle with my BMs. Im also severely dehydrated (im not diabetic). My whole life I have been a constant urinater day and night. Literally 30 times or more every single day. I cannot drink the recommended amount of water its just not worth the toilet trips. During my pregnancy Im still going to the toilet excessively but I have dry mouth, cracked skin side of my nose and dry lips. Which is madness to say I am still urinating constantly. I am wondering if I weigh so much because of a combination of IBS bloating and constipation made worse by pregnancy and pain killers and also swelling due to water retention? my midwife is really annoying. She just constantly says she doesnt know what I am going to do if I keep gaining like I am all the way through! which is not helpful. She is also dismissing Im developing SPD because of how soon. I tried to explain to her im 7st over obese (30 BMI) and 9st over Overweight! (28BMI) a baby weighs 6 to 10 pounds so yes eventhough I am not far along it doesnt matter what a baby isnt pushing on me because of the relaxin and my heavy weight it makes sense that I have been experiencing it early. I have all the symptoms back ache, vagina ache and pain, pelvic ache and pain, top thigh ache and pain, knee pain, pain when gettin up and down, standing, walking etc. I am eating really well sure I eat massive portions but so many vegetables and fruits. I do eat the odd treat but not bad enough to have gained so much weight. I havent EVER put on weight so fast and Ive eaten much much worse. I just dont know what to do I feel so unsupported. My mum had her last baby 15 years ago she cant remember much and im single and live alone so got no one to help me. Im just really scared this weight will not stop creeping up. The thing thats making me feel a little better is my clothes still fit except for the tummy area and breast area. If someone had gained nearly 3st of actual weight it would be allover wouldnt it? my legs would have gotten bigger arms etc. Another thing is my shoes dont fit by the evening another sign of swelling. REALLY sorry for the long post I just dont know what to do. I have physical hunger but no appetite. Meaning I get up in the morning because im experiencing the worst hunger pangs of my life that snacks dont even touch I have to get alot of food down me to make them go. Because I am trying to eat well thats a heck of alot of food and yeah its just depressing when you dont have the desire to actually eat it. Thanks in advance for any shared experiences or advice x

I think you’re right to get more investigations done op, this doesn’t sound right at all. Fwiw, when I was pregnant I couldn’t stomach meat at all, and totally lost my appetite, so I lived on wholemeal sandwiches and baked potatoes, so you have my sympathy there. I only gained a stone and dd came out fine.
Having said that, I’d say your relationship with food doesn’t seem that great. The fact you’ve recorded everything, and like a pp has said, you’re probably massively underestimating lots of it. Likewise probably overestimating your steps, 10000 steps isn’t actually all that much. You’re eating a lot of food, and all that sugar and carb will be doing no good to actually satiate your appetite. Things like burgers and sausages aren’t the best you could be eating either. You seem very resistant to the idea you’re eating too much though.

Maintain weight
2,450 100%
Calories/day
Mild weight loss
0.25 kg/week
2,200 90%
Calories/day
Weight loss
0.5 kg/week
1,950 80%
Calories/day
Extreme weight loss
1 kg/week
1,450 59%
Calories/day

those were my pre pregnancy calorie goals when I weighed 17st i chose to eat 1700 which is between the moderate weight loss and the extreme. I know my calories seem shocking but higher body masses need more calories. Its all abit confusing if youve never had to delve into it. I surly had a time in my life I didnt understand it. The calories I am eating are not that shocking. They werent to the dietitian at all but I could see how someone may think they are if theyre not that obese

Below is how many calories someone of my height would need to eat to maintain 8st weight. Thats including normal exercise nothing crazy. Its a massive difference

Maintain weight
1,671 100%

@YouHaveNoAuthorityHereJackie

I think you’re right to get more investigations done op, this doesn’t sound right at all. Fwiw, when I was pregnant I couldn’t stomach meat at all, and totally lost my appetite, so I lived on wholemeal sandwiches and baked potatoes, so you have my sympathy there. I only gained a stone and dd came out fine. Having said that, I’d say your relationship with food doesn’t seem that great. The fact you’ve recorded everything, and like a pp has said, you’re probably massively underestimating lots of it. Likewise probably overestimating your steps, 10000 steps isn’t actually all that much. You’re eating a lot of food, and all that sugar and carb will be doing no good to actually satiate your appetite. Things like burgers and sausages aren’t the best you could be eating either. You seem very resistant to the idea you’re eating too much though.

I am not overestimating my steps back then I wore a pedometer everytime I left the house specifically for my exercise walk I didnt close my usual walking I never put it on to walk to the shops, run errands etc (I dont drive) so my 10000 was only for exercise. The only things I dont weigh are vegetables. I may not always write them down but Im doing it from memory. But at the time I weighed it out. Burgers I eat are either turkey or low lean ones from aldi no 20% fat or whatever. Same with the sausages only ever turkey, chicken or quorn absolutely no pork. The dietitician today wasnt worry anyway like Ive said she doesnt think my weight issue is down to the food

Ever been checked for coeliac disease? You've described my mum prior to her diagnosis and she also has T2 diabetes.

Really pleased you’ve had your bloods done OP and that the dietician didn’t give you a hard time as clearly there are other factors at play here. I hope you get some answers soon

oh I get why you think I overestimated the steps I used to do a 5 part workout and i forgot my pedometer the first time thats what I assumed the whole thing would be based on that part being 4000 steps the whole walk when I did where i pedometer was 14000 steps just on my walk I walked from mine to a the canal all way round then back then from the canal to the local park around the edge so widest part then from there to a big dog green then from there to a tram stop walking up and down the tram ramps and steps and then to a massive recreational ground. I did all that that day but I forgot my pedometer for most of it

@Mabelface

Ever been checked for coeliac disease? You've described my mum prior to her diagnosis and she also has T2 diabetes.

I never said my mum had diabetes? I said my grandad had type one not mentioned my mum I dont think? no one has diabetes cept my grandad and no not had a test for coeliac

Midwife has just called I will be finding out about the thyroid tomorrow so fingers crossed! For those who keep saying I am eating too much. I had to figure out what calories I needed to eat. So I used calculators as I didnt want to just guess and bog standard guidelines dont work for everyone because of different heights BMIs and activity levels I did what mine was. Thats what I am going on. Youre seeing alot of food on the menu but not appreciating it falls within the calorie consumption allocated. If when I was looking for a calculator it said it was fine for me to eat my deficit calories during pregnancy thats exactly what I would eat. No disrespect to anyone on here but I am not just going to accept some people reading a list of food for my height weight BMI etc is too much when its been worked out. Even the dietitian was not upset and agreed the weight gain cannot even begin to be from the calories I am consuming.

@ChanFirstTimer86

oh I get why you think I overestimated the steps I used to do a 5 part workout and i forgot my pedometer the first time thats what I assumed the whole thing would be based on that part being 4000 steps the whole walk when I did where i pedometer was 14000 steps just on my walk I walked from mine to a the canal all way round then back then from the canal to the local park around the edge so widest part then from there to a big dog green then from there to a tram stop walking up and down the tram ramps and steps and then to a massive recreational ground. I did all that that day but I forgot my pedometer for most of it

my grammar on this is atrocious lol when I did wear a pedometer I meant to say. Even on that diet before with the burgers etc I lost a stone in 4 weeks happily and was only hungry the first week. So I wasnt eating too much. I dont just pick a calorie number out of a hat I do the sums and eat what I am told. As for sausages etc it depends on what they are. I airfry or oven. I rarely use red meat and if I do its lean. Absolutely no pork you dont even see bacon. My mince was mainly turkey. Its like the chicken sausages Im eating. 3 is a pretty decent amount because theyre skinny they are only 156 cals thats 121 calories less than 2 pork. I make smart food swaps I try and save calories where I can. I ate those burgers too with leaves for a bun no bread

@Notbornwithit

I gained a ton with my second. I couldn’t understand it because I was being quite good about not over eating and watched my calorie intake. It turned out to be lots of water retention as I dropped 30lbs ( peeing and sweating it out was very surreal) the first week after birth. I didn’t have high blood pressure at all. Water weighs a lot and it’s not always obvious. At the end I couldn’t put shoes on and I had carpal tunnel but apart from my feet it wasn’t totally obvious I had so much water. Agree with the above. If you’re only 5ft 1 you don’t need that many calories. I’m 5ft 10. I ate 2000 until third trimester and then added in 200. Once the water weight, baby and everything had gone I still had about ten pounds to lose so I think I was definitely eating enough

I cant fit in certain shoes by the evening and I did a water retention test with my skin and that seemed to indicate retention too. I know what youre saying about being 5ft10 but BMR (calories needed to keep you alive without even getting out of bed lifting an arm of leg) varies on weight, height etc I know Im only 5ft1 but I am also very obese and obesity raises your BMR if I was only 8st like I should be I should be eating around 1600 odd Ive tried my best to explain it to people on here. Like I keep saying I havent guessed these figures at all.

A point I haven’t seen mentioned: you might not be as heavy as you think you are, therefore need fewer calories than you think you do.

If your current weight is mostly due to water retention and not fat/muscle, the calculation you’re using will be off. Go by the weight you were just before you were pregnant and add perhaps 100 calories to that. To be quite frank at that obesity level you’ve got enough fat stored to be perfectly OK throughout your pregnancy even eating a little under your real maintenance calories.

@RachC2021

A point I haven’t seen mentioned: you might not be as heavy as you think you are, therefore need fewer calories than you think you do.

If your current weight is mostly due to water retention and not fat/muscle, the calculation you’re using will be off. Go by the weight you were just before you were pregnant and add perhaps 100 calories to that. To be quite frank at that obesity level you’ve got enough fat stored to be perfectly OK throughout your pregnancy even eating a little under your real maintenance calories.

Yeah see that I can work with. I will use a pregnancy calculator based on my pre weight rather than what I am putting on. See if the tweak makes the difference. The thing is though the beginning of the year I split with my long term partner so was very upset. I literally stayed in for 4 months. I ate a horrific diet, take aways, fast food, sweets and sodas, iced teas etc and basically laid there doing nothing and I still didnt put on weight like I am doing now. And when you say at that obesity level I used a pregnancy calorie calculator so that factored in that I am obese etc but yeah I did it based on what my scales say I will try now doing it for 16st see what the difference is

Hi just to say when you get your thyroid results back make sure you ask for the TSH and T3 numbers. Don’t let them just say “normal range”, ask for the numbers and post here.

“Normal range” is 0.5-4.5 for TSH but in pregnancy it really needs to be down below 2 or ideally lower. And many people find they need it below 2 even when not pg

PREGNANCY CALORIC INTAKE CALCULATOR
Age
35
Years
Weight
224
Pounds Kilos This is your pre-pregnancy weight.
Height Feet & Inches CM

5
Feet
1
Inches
Exercise level
Little or no exercise
Workout = 15-30 mins elevated heart rate.
Intense = 45+ mins elevated heart rate.
Advanced Options
DAILY CALORIES
First Trimester 2066
CALORIES/DAY

Second Trimester 2266
CALORIES/DAY

Third Trimester 2456
CALORIES/DAY

its reduced each trimester by just under 200 cals using 16st start weight I cant be the only one that thinks its insane to put on nearly 3st in 18 weeks due to a calorie increment of 200 calories a day? remember this calorie calculator is a pregnancy one its factoring in my obesity already

@minipie

Hi just to say when you get your thyroid results back make sure you ask for the TSH and T3 numbers. Don’t let them just say “normal range”, ask for the numbers and post here.

“Normal range” is 0.5-4.5 for TSH but in pregnancy it really needs to be down below 2 or ideally lower. And many people find they need it below 2 even when not pg

thanks for the tip I will do that

@ChanFirstTimer86

its reduced each trimester by just under 200 cals using 16st start weight I cant be the only one that thinks its insane to put on nearly 3st in 18 weeks due to a calorie increment of 200 calories a day? remember this calorie calculator is a pregnancy one its factoring in my obesity already

Actual weight increase would be crazy yes — but if it’s not all actual weight and some/most is water retention…

Go with the lower calorie ranges you’ve just done. And get food scales and weigh the nuts, sends and dried fruit every time. See if that helps, but it might take a couple weeks.

Definitely keep up the medical investigations other posters are suggesting too. I don’t have any experience with thyroid or diabetes etc but it all seems to be good advice.

my scales are on my kitchen side I will be extra vigilant see how I get on. Tbh I was more looking for medical advice on these posts not dissecting my diet because if you dont understand BMRs cals in vs cals out etc you just see a long list of food and think no wonder shes whacking it on and thats a counter productive and harmful way to think. I was way more interested in people with thyroid issues, GD, water retention. Abnormally high unexplained weight gain thats what I was hoping for on these posts. I am comfortable with my diet im trying really hard I literally eat what I can stomach. The hunger is unbearable but I just get on with it for the sake of my child.

@ChanFirstTimer86

my scales are on my kitchen side I will be extra vigilant see how I get on. Tbh I was more looking for medical advice on these posts not dissecting my diet because if you dont understand BMRs cals in vs cals out etc you just see a long list of food and think no wonder shes whacking it on and thats a counter productive and harmful way to think. I was way more interested in people with thyroid issues, GD, water retention. Abnormally high unexplained weight gain thats what I was hoping for on these posts. I am comfortable with my diet im trying really hard I literally eat what I can stomach. The hunger is unbearable but I just get on with it for the sake of my child.

I’m not critiquing what you eat at all, but if you’re calorie counting things like nuts, seeds and dried fruit have a lot of calories in small amounts, so you could easily be eating more calories there than you think if you don’t weigh them accurately. That’s all. :)

Hiya, crossed wires, I think! My mother had the gnawing hunger you have for years, also with horrendous ibs. She was diagnosed late in life with coeliac disease and went on to develop t2. It's not unusual for both to go hand in hand. Sorry for the confusion.

I agree I would be looking for reasons why you have such hunger when you’re eating a lot, it may well be something underlying

Good luck

@minipie

Hi just to say when you get your thyroid results back make sure you ask for the TSH and T3 numbers. Don’t let them just say “normal range”, ask for the numbers and post here.

“Normal range” is 0.5-4.5 for TSH but in pregnancy it really needs to be down below 2 or ideally lower. And many people find they need it below 2 even when not pg

There's no evidence that TSH of less than 2 in pregnant women (or anyone) without thyroid problems is a problem at all.

"Normal range" is completely fine.

I said TSH above 2 can be a problem for some people, and in pregnancy, not below 2.

There is plenty of debate over the correct upper end of normal TSH (some say 4.5 if is fine, some say it should be 2.5) and it is well recognised that it should be lower in pregnancy. For example academic.oup.com/jcem/article/98/9/3584/2833082

I'm surprised your not consultant lead.

I'm not diabetic but I check my blood sugars occasionally as I'm just under pre diabetic. You would be surprised what each food group does to your blood sugars.

Gestational diabetes needs to be a consideration but you will be checked for that routinely anyway.

Another thing to read up on is pre eclampsia as that's a factor with a high BMI.

I'm obese too but I didnt put on any weight except water when pg. I weighed exactly what I did pre pg 24 hours after giving birth with all four. I had very small babies due to my blood pressure. I did put two stone on in two weeks but I was 30 plus weeks and had (unknown to me) pre eclampsia. My organs where failing.

It wouldnt be that for you as it's way to soon to get pre eclampsia but excessive water retention isnt normal in pregnancy

I don't understand how OP can have 3 stone of water weight when she barely drinks anything.

Measure how much you wee each day, OP. You like keeping track. Huge Yogurt pot is handy for capture. Just weigh it to track, 1 g = 1 ml.

how do you do 10k steps in exercise out of home (that's 2 hours of walking) if you need 30 wees/day -- do you have a lot of favourite bushes?