Worried I have got BV from this?

[Worried1183]

I don’t have anxiety about this stuff usually but have been unable to stop worrying about this for the last month. I don’t have sex much with my partner as I get so worried about it but last time he put his fingers inside me which he rarely does and now I keep thinking what if that’s transferred bacteria. I feel really worried about it and keep thinking I have symptoms. I’ve never really done this in the past and just feel so worried.

This just would never be something that would occur to me. But then, i dont look at people all as walking germs.

Those saying this is a wind up, I know it sounds silly but this is something I have been sat in tears about and on the internet looking for answers all morning. I’m not coping well and I am embarrassed to tell friends which is why I posted here.

It might be obvious to all you but in my head dirty hands then inside there means infection and I can’t see how it wouldn’t. I am struggling a lot and feel guilty even letting him doing it now. I wanted to at the time, I wanted to be normal

Yes OP this is not normal at all. If DH had been, I don't know, gardening or taking the bins out or something, I would hope he would wash his hands before. Otherwise no.

Also if you got BV you would just get treatment over the counter and then move on.

You sound very controlled by your anxiety, it must be exhausting. Your problem is entirely anxiety based, not sexual hygiene based. I used to have health anxiety and it was awful. Please seek help, you don't have to Live like this

OP, please consider getting some support for health anxiety. Your thoughts are quite extreme. Don't let them rule you and damage your relationship. That really is said in a soft voice with kindness.

Thanks @putthebinsout I wouldn’t think twice about anything heart or lung related but I worry constantly about vaginal infections. It has such a horrible impact on my life

[quote Worried1183]@WitchBaby why are the chances slim? He did wash his hands when we got home but then touched shoes and phone etc before we got into bed so anything could have been on his hands and now inside me. I worry I will get pelvic inflammatory as an infection down there can lead to that. I feel like nobody else would have been so stupid as to do this especially on their period when bacteria more easily get in. I feel like I sound crazy typing this but this is so real for me[/quote]
Pelvic inflammatory disease happens when you let infections go untreated for ages. Worst case scenarios is that you get BV symptoms, you treat it easily with a course of antibiotics and all is well again.

If you're that worried go to your GP. But I have no idea why you're worried.

You're more likely to get it from too much soap or bubble bath. As PP's have said, I think you'd benefit from a trip to the GP about your anxiety.

Then you really need to speak to a professional about your anxiety OP. I'm not the biggest fan of being unclean, shower at least once and sometimes twice a day, clean the kitchen fully each day kind of level but I have never, ever contemplated this. And I, like most of the previous posters, have had, erm, a range of things in me

@Chocolatebuttercream thanks I try to reason that bacteria would have to go from whatever item he touched to his hands then off his hands and onto me which I try my best to reason is unlikely. But it’s so hard. I feel guilty even though it brought us closer. I feel strange down there too but maybe because I haven’t done that in a long long time so feels tender. I’m letting all my thoughts run away with me.

@putthebinsout

Without wanting to sound crude... I'm in my 40s and over the past 25 years have had all manner of fingers, toys, appendages and even the odd vegetable inside me and I've never had BV.

I do have health anxiety (mine is mostly around my heart and lungs) so I understand and I'm not trying to make you feel silly or dismissing how you feel but this is definitely a worry thats in your head rather than a real thing.

The vagina is amazing at cleaning itself. You'll be fine

This just made me snort my coffee out in the staff room

You're more likely to get BV from over cleaning than from sexual activity. Do you use any feminine washes?

Please talk to your GP about how you're feeling.

Surely people wash hands before doing that though. I think my anxiety it worse because I started my period the next day and I read being on your period means you are more likely to get infections.

Vaginal infections do happen so they must have a way of getting there.

Aside from the obvious clue (you are very worried, obsessing about it and constantly seeking reassurance from different places, none of which will help you but is instead feeding the obsession), the other major sign of health anxiety is that you think it is inevitable. Your brain is in panic mode and has lost the ability to reason and judge risk. Your thought process is going:
Hands in there = certainty of infection = certainty of very serious infection = certainty that I won't notice it/fight it and will get PIV

In reality the process will be more like:
Hands in there = VERY UNLIKELY to get an infection = BUT if I were to I would get symptoms and get treatment and be well again = BUT even if I didn't get treatment it would still be unlikely to cause complications

It is true that one of the ways of preventing thrush and BV is your partner keeping their hands clean. If you wouldn't put it in your mouth, you shouldn't put it into your vagina.

Having said that, unless you are prone to regular BV, this unlikely that this will happen.

I would wonder why you are feeling this way and whether there is a reason behind it and whether you can talk about your feelings with your partner. If this form of sexual contact makes you feel anxious, there are plenty of other ways to give and receive pleasure. (Hollie McNish has written lots about this in her latest book, SLUG which has made me feel less alone and more empowered to speak about my needs.)

You will not get BV from someone's fingers.

I've had BV and trust me you will know but I've never worried about getting it from being fingered and my periods are irregular so wouldn't know when it's coming.

Its chlamydia that can lead to PID.

Bv can be cleared up with a gel.

I don’t understand if this has been a long standing issue for you that your partner is aware of that he doesn’t wash his hands and genitals before you engage in any sexual activity.

Seems odd that this time you allowed him to touch you not knowing if his hands had just been washed when you have such severe neurotic feelings.

@Galassia he did wash his hands but before getting into bed touched shoes and phone and I keep going over that. He often washes his hands and knows I worry. We haven’t done that in so long and it brought us closer but now I am analysing and worrying.

I think I am going to try and not book an appointment for a test or anything silly and just wait this one out because at least then if it is fine I will hopefully have got some ‘evidence’ for myself that things can be ok here and we could do it again. It’s so hard though, I feel sick and guilty not rushing to a doctor to get a swab done.

I've had BV twice. Both times it was caused by using too strong body washes in that area. The change in ph caused by the washes is what usually causes the BV. UTIs can occur after sex bit are easily prevented by going for a wee straight after.

I'm not sure you really believe you have health anxiety. That's your first step, to recognise it. Then get some help by first speaking with your GP and explaining how much it affects your life. People don't worry about this normally and no, most people don't wash their hands before they start foreplay unless they are visibly dirty

You need to see your GP for your anxiety. Nothing anyone says on here is going to help you.

@sylbunny what causes an infection then? Surely if you had dog poo or something in there that would cause bv?

I know I have a problem but I’m not like this about anything else to do with my health it’s literally just this.

Oh to add, you can buy BV tests from the chemist.

If you had BV you’d know about it because it stinks and there’s loads of discharge. Your vagina is very acidic and that kills germs pretty much immediately. You’re not going to get BV from being touched or touching yourself. It’s usually because you’ve killed off the good bacteria somehow, perhaps by douching or getting bubble bath or something in there.

[quote Worried1183]@sylbunny what causes an infection then? Surely if you had dog poo or something in there that would cause bv?

I know I have a problem but I’m not like this about anything else to do with my health it’s literally just this.[/quote]
Wouldn't you want to live your life free of this burden though? It's still health anxiety even if it's focused on this area only. I know, I have it too. Please be kind to yourself and seek help.