Dear OJ,
You are such an amazing woman, I know you wil say we would all do it if you had too, but although my situation was very different, I can to some extent truly feel and understand your pain and frustration at not being able tp put things right, for Steve, for the children, for you. When my son died I felt as though the end of the world had truly come, my only child, life was totally empty, I knew nothing but pain. But I was so wrong, life was not empty because he was no longer here, it was full of people who cared, people I hardly knew, people who found it so hard to know the right words to say, even if they fumbled saying them, people were so kind, it sustained me, helped me to go on, I can see that now, though at that awful time I felt I was on auto pilot. Life is very cruel at times. but I have learnt to stop asking "why", it only eats away at you. I try now to find something positive in everything, look for the good, it may appear not to be there at times, but one day the sun will shine again, all pain, be it physical or mental will be less, I don`t say gone, but less. I am rabbiting, but I to have know such pain, keep strong, xxxx