Embarrassed to go back to GP after he said I'm "a worrier"

[Jesusweptagain]

Hi all, will try to keep this brief. I am a 31yo woman- 1 child aged 7 years. I went to my gp 2years ago regarding an enlarged lymph node on my neck & also a lump under my jaw. He assured me all was fine & said I'm probably just "a worrier" told me lump under jaw was a salivary gland and sometimes one is bigger than the other. Since then the lump in my neck has never disappeared- it gets bigger when I'm ill but never goes completely (around size of a 5p) and I also have a similar sized lump behind my collar bone which again never goes away ( I noticed this last year) the lump which he said is my salivary gland is now around 3 fingers wide & I think I can feel it inside my throat but I don't know if I'm just anxious about it. I feel like he did assure me I was fine & I don't want to make another appointment about it but has anyone had these symptoms? I know I should go back but he did say it was all fine and normal. I have had anaemia this whole time & low folate so am constantly on supplements although they stopped recently as they haven't been able to check my bloods since before COVID. I suppose I just need reassurance or advice on being more assertive with my GP. I am conflicted as all the advice says get all lumps checked but he did check 2 of them 2years ago & I felt like I was wasting his time. (Also I am not in any way a worrier normally - my child has only been to the gp once and I havent been for anything other than my bloods & these lumps since I was pregnant nearly 8 years ago!)

Go back and ask for a referral.

It's disgraceful when doctors say shit like this. Try to be assertive and say, "no, I am not a worrier at all, I need this medical condition investigated so please could you refer me"

Hi OP.
If the lumps have changed in any way then you should definitely go back. I don't know what your surgery is like but at mine you see a different GP every time you so you might have someone different?

I too have one on my neck. I went to the GP and they told me not to worry - it's not changed since (unless I'm sick) so I don't worry and I really trust my GP.
They probably didn't mean to be dismissive and I'm sure they would have taken it further if needed, so do try not to worry.
Good luck.

Not to worry you but i would demand to get scans and biopsys. I had a hard lump about the size of a pea on top of my salivary gland in my neck. Was told it was cancerous and had it and the gland removed. This was about 20 years ago. Ive had other lumps appear since then but had them checked out and they are just lymph glands that get bigger when im under the weather. My lymph glands usually feel squishy snd they move around a bit.

Thanks for your responses! Glad to hear you have kept well since @danidella . So the lump behind my collar bone is movable & I'm sure they are all nothing to worry about! I think I will go back and just explain I have been feeling anxious about them and could he check them for me? I sound pathetic, I actually work in a hospital would you believe but I know its difficult to get appointments at the moment and keep thinking I've waited this long so its probably nothing. He also told me salivary glands could be different sizes but apparently they should be identical so that does worry me!? Then I think if it is something more I'm doing my child a disservice but being too worried to go back. I will phone tomorrow and explain that I'm worried and if he says no need to see me then that's fine. Thanks again.

I would see a different GP at the practice. The focus is the change in the lump and your concern about it.

If it's a help I've been having gynae issues all year and I recently spoke to a different GP as I didn't feel the original one really understood me. I focused on how the symptoms are negatively impacting on my quality of life. That seemed to stand out to her and she's taken me more seriously than the original GP.

You'd think a GP would be trained to not say something like that wouldn't you? It's had the desired effect - put you off getting in touch again. I would go back and see a different doctor. It's not okay to have a doctor minimise your feelings, I really hope he was correct 1st time and it's nothing but any lump which has changed since being checked needs to be rechecked in my opinion.

I had a lump on my head/ back of my neck which they scanned twice. Was an enlarged lymph node which had come up with an infection and took about 12 months to go down. They said they might remove it but then decided to scan again . No one made me feel I was being anxious and they took it seriously. Ask for another opinion.

Go back. You are still concerned by changes. Reassurance given at the time wasn't enough, plus there are changes. It's your right to be worried about your health. You would feel even more stupid if you became seriously ill because you didn't go to your GP because you didn't want to look stupid. Buck up, go back, and I hope you get a nice reaction this time.

My sister went to the GP almost two years ago with an issue. Was told it was just hormonal changes and made to feel like she was wasting the doctor's time. When the problem worsened again, she didn't go back to the GP again because she didn't want to waste their time and told herself it must just be hormones causing the changes so it would be fine. She did eventually go back to the GP and has today been told it's likely cancer and a sample has been sent off for testing.

I don't say that to scare you but just to make my point that doctors are fucking dicks for making people feel like time wasters.

You're concerned OP, and things have changed, so make another appointment.

Also just to add that salivary glands can do some pretty weird stuff - I know someone who had one removed because they kept getting stones - so definitely don't assume it must be something sinister! But always best to get checked out :)

You should be able to get a repeat of your supplements whether or not they’ve done your bloods, FYI.

This is why I loathe so many GPs. So dismissive and rude and “I know best” attitude. Once you find a decent GP - and they do exist - try to ask for them.

Anyway go back - and they should be able to do a blood test too. Ridiculous

That GP is a dick!
Go back and push for a scan...

I am suprised they didn't say if anything changes come back, it has changed, so really you should go back OP.

Also don't use language like worried/anxious , simply state the facts as you see them, you were seen for this issue before and it has not resolved and has actually increased in size. I think it is understandable that you are concerned about the situation.

See a different gp? I think you are very sensible to go back because it has not gone away and has increased in size since last time

Go back but don’t say it’s because you’re anxious say it’s because they have changed and you’d like it investigated.

God I fucking hate patronising shit like this. My boss is currently really really unwell, as yet diagnosed, but I've never seen her like this before. They've done a few bloods and put her on anti depressants and that's it. It's really not OK and I feel womens health in particular is far too often brushed aside like this!

You are the best advocate for your own health. No one else will do it - go back, be pushy. Simply request two week referral. If they refuse, ask them how exactly they have diagnosed you and know it's nothing to worry about - they can't do this without further tests and need to refer. Request a second opinion. Be persistent. Someone close to me had to go back three times, over the course of 6 months, to get a referral. Turned out it was lymphoma and had advanced in that time. If they had referred in the first place the treatment would have been so much less. GPs dismiss you because you're young, but this disease targets young people. It's very treatable and curable but needs to be diagnosed (or ruled out) quickly. Hope it all turns out ok for you, sending best wishes

You need to be more assertive. My GP ignored my mothers lumps for 5 years, said it was nothing. When my mother showed me I went to the GP with her and insisted on a referral. It turned out to be cancer and she will never recover now as it's too late.
How I wish she had told me earlier and I would have got her referred.

I was told I was a worrier, had early stages of kidney failure. Ask to see another doctor and ask them to humour you and run the usual diagnostic tests they would in these circumstances. You are allowed to be worried about your own health.

Get a new GP asap!

My mother - as stoic as they come - had similar shit from her GP when after virtually no periods in her late 50s she had lots of bleeding for a year - GP wouldn’t refer and said this kind of crap. Mum had endometrial cancer. She had a hysterectomy and was OK, thank goodness. She later followed up and the GP just said ‘oh, I should probably be referring more women with bleeding for tests’.

There are strong pressures on GPs not to refer for diagnostic tests.

Hello love,
Please ignore all the cancer scare stories - it will make you more worried. These lymph nodes don't sound worrying, they sound reactive. If they were going to do something they'd have done it by now. They are most likely related to fighting low grade head and neck infection and your low iron etc will make it harder so best tick that box too.
Most GPs can't tell what's salivary and lymph node so if you haven't got swelling after eating it's probably nothing to do with salivary. Finally you are supposed to be able to feel you lymph nodes, they are there and once you know where they are you'll always be able to find them. Don't fiddle, then they def won't go down.

And just ask for a non urgent Ultrasound to check and reassure. Some GPs can directly request and some need to go through OMFS/ENT. It might be a wait atm as it's not urgent.

I can't count the number of threads on this here. It's very common.

Gp's can be so dismissive.
I took my dd on the advice of the shoe shop as her feet pronated inwards.
The first gp told dd to walk across room and announced nothing wrong.
Shoe shop insisted I get a second opinion and dd had 6 years of podiatry appointments and special insoles made for her feet.
God knows what her feet and back would be like if I hadn't got another gp to refer her.