In Gourd We Trust - 10 / 10 club - all welcome

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

Well, she's doing what she thinks is right, and it is hard, especially when nearly everyone feels that she's barking etc

she should join LLL, or NNN, or similar. Or send her on here, to us - or would you not like her being here? (I wouldn't like my family on here)

I think co-sleeping works if you get more sleep, if she's not getting enough sleep at age 2, then it's not working, imo.

Lo goes in his cot next to the bed now, I put him down awake (mostly), and for the night feeds he comes in and if I stay awake long enough I put him back. He is always in our bed in the morning.

Dh slept in ds1's room last night to give me more space with block breast. I slept badly and have a crick in my neck on the oppsite side. I feel like I am in a coathangar.

I do get what you are on about 100, but if you feel that way about it - how can you support her if you not only disagree but feel cross about it? We could talk about co-sleeping maybe, and tell you why we do it, but I presume she will have told you that already?

Boco - I am getting on my nerves. Massively.

Yes, okay. What are those acronyms? I think I've done a good job of not being judgey. I mean I've never said any of the things below to her. I take - and I do generally - a very relaxed line on everyone doing what they think best.

people in glass-houses and all that.

But, she's tired and sad, and brother thinks she's depressed.

If I was posting this, about me, what would you all say to me?

Why isn't she sleeping? When i was co-sleeping it was to get more sleep. Is he waking up lots? Does she want him to sleep in his own room? Who is that fellow, dr something, who does the very very gradual night weaning thing? Very APish. She could try that?

I found I just couldn't talk to anyone about ds sleeping, except other bonkers co-sleepers, because they all felt the same way

it's very ingrained in our society that children MUST sleep through and children MUST sleep alone

which leaves those of us who don't necessarily agree with that, up the creek really

No, she doesn't want him to sleep in his own room. They go to bed at the same time, sometimes she manages to slip out for an evening, I think.

But he wakes up all the time, and screams if she isn't there, so then she goes back in and lies down, and then this goes on, I think, with bf to get him back to sleep.

Oh good, a book. Do you remember the name?

I would say Why are you sad?

La Leche League

National Nurture Network

they are quite mad, expecially the latter, but will understand and support her. She should ring her LLL leader - they are marvellous.

I have the gradual night weaning link if you want

but she may not want to wean, she may want to wait until her child weans by theirself

some people believe it is the right thing - we all could do with support in doing what we believe is the right thing

well it was more of a website - I can't remember - franny do you know who i mean? he's american and a dr and does sleep stuff

Is he with her all day every day? I'm not saying this is a bad thing btw. Has he always been like this or could this be an insecure phase?
Actually, my dd2 is 2 and would be distraught if she woke and I wasn't there - but I am there, and it works for us. It's natural really for little ones to be this dependent at this age. I wonder why she's not getting enough sleep though. Is little one very hungry in the night? Maybe more food would help.

Oooh thank you. Okay, am going to email her.

Also she grew up in third world, very much in a village on the foothills of a mountain, everyone farmers etc, and they all slept together, and wore slings in the fields. And this is how it was for her, and how she wants it to be, but is breaking her back trying to make it this way in North London without cousins and aunties and whatever in the next door hut.

So, it isn't just that she's bonkers (in my eyes) but that she wants to do it the way she knows, but is struggling.

Oooh thank you. Okay, am going to email her.

Also she grew up in third world, very much in a village on the foothills of a mountain, everyone farmers etc, and they all slept together, and wore slings in the fields. And this is how it was for her, and how she wants it to be, but is breaking her back trying to make it this way in North London without cousins and aunties and whatever in the next door hut.

So, it isn't just that she's bonkers (in my eyes) but that she wants to do it the way she knows, but is struggling.

I did partial night weaning at that age - because it was not working for me, to be woken up every hour - i couldn't do it at all and was grumpy and resentful. Maybe she just needs more sleep, which doesn't necessarily mean weaning, but cutting back if it's constant.

There should be lots of similarly minded people in north London - she just needs to find some.

Here's Dr Jay gordon

The No-Cry Sleep solution for toddlers would also be good

but she may have tried those methods and they may not be right for her family. It wasn't right for us, with ds. He was SCARED - absolutely SCARED - of the thought of having to do without milk in the night which he had always loved and relied on and it had always been there for him. It was ruddy hard, but the best thing for us was for me to go on feeding him when he wanted to. I can guess you don't agree, but it was the right thing for him, and for us. It would have been lovely to have got support with it instead of criticism, but there wasn't any, so I just shut up and did it.

I never did co-sleeping

I am a selfish harlot who can just about cope with a dh in the bed. But not small children. And

Twice.

No, doesn't want to wean yet, but does want to sleep. Yes, with him all day, every day. I have offered to come to London for a day and be lovely aunty while she goes and swings her arms around above her head, but she won't take it up.

Wonders why? Anne as Mary Poppins fear emoticon

FMF that old chestnut

do you only have sex at bed time? In the bed? [raises eyebrow}

Must go but hope link helped

get her to ring LLL

xx

You've all been lovely. Thank you.

Am off now, armed with this information.

She does just need support, but all I've been able to say is Hmmm, which is obviously crap.

Thanks.

LLL

hope you don't go, 100, you are one of my very favourite posters

well mostly in the bed, actually yes. (wood floors, throughout house, ouch). And not at 'bedtime' exactly. But early evenings And we used to do it a lot outdoors. But there are my children around when we are somewhere pretty and outdoors and secluded...

And we don't exactly have a mansion with trillions of exciting, fascinating, inviting corners in which to spoon. The kitchen is over-looked and tiny. The bathroom is a white box. Stairs? God, I'm way too skinny and bony for angular shennanigans...

So it may be an old chestnut to you but...it was a major consideration for us!

Franny, are you still there?