if you were going to die, would you want to know or not?

[onlyjoking9329]

why?
what would be good about knowing?
what would be bad about knowing?

Steve did suggest trying the lottery as he thought it was about time his luck changed

I think the people left behind need to know - as others have said; in order to say all that they wish to say.

It's a nice idea to just pass away not knowing when it is coming but if you do know it is coming soon I'd like to know when just so as to get things in order, as it were.

I have to say though, I am the sort of person who wants to know what it's going to feel like before getting a tooth pulled or having a sigmoidoscopy (in my case once!) in order to be able to cope. I don't like feeling out of control. Death is largely out of my control but it would help me to know when to expect it.

Thanks Jeremy. Didn't intend causing any offence. As I said, hadn't read any of the thread. I just meant for some people being told they are going to die is enough to make them roll over and die.

you are right Gess MB is fab. i don't think it really comes down to being brave, we have no choice in this, its a bit like having kids with SN you just kinda get on with it and it becomes your norm, if that makes any kind of sense.

MB and OJ, you two are amazing women.

when Peter suffered his stroke in july, we didnt tell him how serious it was, for fear that if he knew he would lose his fighting spirit. he was told repeatadly by the docs he was on the urgent list, but it still took untill the second week on the urgent list to 'stick' in his mind. we also lived by 'plan for the worst, hope for the best' in fact if anything good happened it was a bonus really. cried uncobntrolably on bad days, and lived for the good ones. towards the end, the good days were few and far between, we both knew if transplant didnt happen and quick he didnt have long. then the stroke wiped his memory which was harsh.

we have had many talks of funeral plans, what songs to play. who to invite, what type of coffin etc over the last two years.

i still cant belive that the worst isnt likely now, still in denial myself somedays that transplant has happened now. cant get used to it. strange thing, the mind.

Oh I know OJ, of course that makes sense. Dignified might be a good word. I'd be a heap.

you have helped me so much LVOC throu this chatting to me on msn until the early hours. even when things have been so difficult for you 15th of august was quite a day for both of us.
i am glad that peter and of course you have a chance at a new life without all the stresses you have had for the last few years. you deserve it

can you be Dignified and pissed ?

I can't be, but some might manage it

i might be able to pukk it off on here but in RL i would be sussed quite quickly! Guess did you meet up with H&J today?

i cant be either.

i did mean PULL

how is peter today?

he is ok see his sense of humour he has that one on a t-shirt as well as others, but it seemed right for this weekend lol.

No unfortunately. DS1 was at respite, ds2 ill. DH is having the kids alone all next weekend so I can do a shiatsu (!) course, and he's just had 2 weeks off with them whilst I worked so I thought it would be a bit unfair on him.

oh gess i snuck on your blog the other night, its very good. your ds1 is gorgeous, big brown eyes.

what are the other two like now? its been a while since i have seen their pics (and i am a right nosey cow)

good to see his SOH is intact!
Gess sorry you couldn't meet up with H&J i was going to meet up with them but then steve went in for his op so had to cancel, i would love to meet up with you D and your kids

hope DS2 is soon better. my 3 were out today 3-8. they are off to school on tuesday. steve won't be starting his six weeks of treatnt for at least two weeks which means he will still be having treatment through the oct holidays and guess what, the kids school have inset days either side of the oct holidays aaarrrggghhh. so i have to cover childcare for 7 days. MIL is going off to greece that week too aaarrggghhh

i agree with you i won't be reminding him. but will remind him before vists to the oncologist to give him chance to think of any questions he might have.
thanks for all your help it has helped me to make some sense of this as i can't really talk to Steve much about it.

only just seen this thread (insomnia)

have seen your posts elsewhere Onlyjoking and Martianbishop and had no idea you were facing this - so sorry you are both going through such a tough time - just wanted to send prayers and positive thoughts to you and your families

(my father having fully comprehended and talked matter-of-factly about his diagnosis intially then "chose" not to confront it again ...but we all knew what was coming and although it was the way he wanted it ... it was tough on the rest of us ...but then .. later on ... we gained comfort from the fact that we had played it "his way" ifyswim - sorry - not expressing this very well but hope helpful in some small degree) x

OJ, this is awful. For all of you. Awful that you have to be the one to tell him if he needs reminding, and awful for you to have to go thru it over and over

Do you remind him before you go to the hospital, I mean he must get a bit suspicious?? Poor you and Steve. I wish I could make it better for you.
I don't know if you need special care for your kids but if you are desperate in Oct I am not far from you and will help if I can.