I want, nay NEED, dh to have a vasectomy. He is fobbing me off. Anyone successfully talked their other half round?

[oliveoil]

We had a little scare, until this morning - PHEW! - and I thought, well if I am pregnant, we will deal with it.

dh said we would have an abortion , which with him being Catholic an all I didn't expect

now obviously you can't compromise on either of the above so to make sure it does not happen again, I keep going on about the snip

no joy

I don't like the pill or any hormone contraceptions, faffy caps or such nonsense

I say snip

Tips please or advise before I go grey

No OO, didn't wait more than a few months. I think dh went to GP in Feb and it was done in June (3 years ago this is)

Obviously some women want the contraception for other reasons - heavy periods or whatever

nutcracker- its not guaranteed to stop your periods but the majority of people have little or no AF!!

nutcracker - my (female) GP recommended 'tricycling' the pill - take it without a break for 3 months, have a bleed so you're 'comforted' with visual proof that you're definitely not pg, then do it all again. She said that's what most GPs etc do. I used to do it before age/BMI etc meany that they wouldn't let me have it any more.

oh I didn't refuse sex just to piss him off, there was just no way I was having another child. 3 c-sections, 1 severely autistic, 1 too young to tell. Nah, no way am I going through any of that again. And abortion not an option for us. And I didn't trust any other way. If it happens now I figure it really is meant to be!

Message withdrawn

Mmm. Dh is up for it, but it's all pretty theoretical atm as not finished procreating yet. When it comes to the crunch he might not be so keen.

I could not 'withdraw services' either so sympathise.

I would also love my Dh to have the snip. We have 6 year old twins and don't want any more. I can't find any contraception that agrees with me so we're currently using the "whip it out" method, which is far from ideal . Although I am 40 next year so presume my fertility isn't what it used to be.

ok, thanks all - I have to go and do some work now

will have to get strict with him and withold then hahahahahahahahahahaha

Ahh right thanks Serenity, although at the mo I wouldn't need to have a break after 3mths just to check i am not pg, as there is absolutly no chance of it.

At the mo, if i do have a break i don't get a period anyway, just lots and lots and lots of pain.

Message withdrawn

There'a a slight association between vasectomies and prostate cancer I think, but since more elderly men die with prostate cancer than from it it didn;t worry us too much. I think the pill etc have far more risk associated with them.

gess the abotu withdrawing services wasn't directed to you btw.

Good point gess, lots of women live with health risks from contraception etc.

BIG WARNING ABOUT MIRENA COIL: some people have some very serious negative side effects on it.

In fact, there's a thread nearing capacity in the health section here.

Some people bleed and bleed and bleed on it, lose their libido and hair, have mood swings and acne, gain weight, etc.

It is progesten-based.

If you have had problems with progesten-based contraception or have had depression, have a serious think about it.

I had PND and progesten-based contraception intensified it more than I care to remember.

If you have ethical issues with how it works as a contraception, then it's not for you.

Some people love it, others don't.

So do your own research and don't be 'persuaded' by GPs and the like - they seem to push it hard on everyone and it's definitely not a one-size-fits-all contraceptive.

They're also hesitant to pull it out if it goes tits up for you, telling you to wait months for it to 'settle' whilst your life goes into a tailspin.

Just my 2p.

Oh don't worry- there was really just no way I was getting pregnant again. Unfortunately after having the snip dh expected to play catch up. I'm too knackered for any libido (tmi!)

A coil, esp a hormonal one, is not risk free. I tried Mirena coil and got bad acne and I gained weight (neither had been probs before). Dr said these were commons side effects . When I then got an ovarian cyst (also commonish) I decided to give up on coils. I am now a spot free size 12 and will never go near another hormonal type of contraception. Get him to have the snip. Why should the woman always suffer????

X post with Expat. Totally agree with her.

Yep, fatigue - best contraceptive ever.

Yes - have heard the same as expat.

SEE!

I said that people on here had bad times on it

In fact I am now in obstinate mode tbh, this week has shook me up and Things. Need. Sorting.

I really am off now to do some work

I was never worried either, but she just made me a bit nervous about not doing it iyswim. I think the longest I went without a break was 6 months,

Can I just point out that I put 'tricycling' in quotes 'cos it was her term, as it sounds like some poncey made up term and I don't want to be held responsible for it

for starters:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=138&threadid=1626#1010916

dh had his in 1976 and there have been 'no long term problems' whatsoever (fyi he had it done at Longshoot Clinic - arf!)

have they improved the coil then? Friends of mine that had it fitted had nowt but problems (to a woman) heavy bleeding and stomach cramps - yuk!

Some people have no end of problems w/the Mirena coil, it seems, Nadine.

Others don't.

But it's definitely not for everyone.

My DH has had it done TWICE!!! First time after 3rd child from 1st marriage. Divorced shortly afterwards!

Years later - we are now married - Vasectomy reversal and I was PG less than a month later. Now have 2 DSs. I would have loved one more but can understand why DH wants to call it a day! Still can't help my feelings!
I didn't want him to have the snip as I really wanted another child - he had it anyway - I signed the forms tearfully in front of the doc who was a bit non-plussed. Felt like I was signing a death certificate.