I can't believe I'm going to type this but ...

[excruciatinglyembarrassing]

Last night was the second night I wet the bed. I mean actual peed. In the bed.

I wasn't drunk (I don't drink at all), but I had had a glass of coke, a big glass of sparkling water and about four cups of tea during the day.

I have been experiencing some type of incontinence (fuck) I guess during the day , where I have the sudden urge to pee and then just about make it to the toilet or sometimes have to change my underwear.

So as not to dripfeed, I've had two vaginal births (one ten years ago and one 2 years ago) and one section.

I am so so horrified and ashamed of the night time stuff though... well both times it's not been in the middle of the night actually, its been about 30 minutes before the fucking alarm went off! I mean couldn't my bastard bladder wait abit ? it's the second time it's happened ... each time I've dreamt that I am sat on the toilet and I am having a wee, hence my brain tells me during my sleep that it's ok to let go and I literally have a massive wee. My dh woke up in a puddle of piss the first time and asked me what it actually was (died inside quite a lot that morning!) he spoke no more of it though after or after today because I told him I would leave him if her ever spoke about it again .

I am so fucking upset , I have no idea why this is happening. I've been to see my Gp and she said it sounds like an overactive bladder , has booked me in for an ultrasound and done an internal herself from which she has said that there is some muscle weakness but not major. I've been advised to do kegal exercises and switch to decaf, the latter of which I have done and the former as and when I can remember.

It's just something no one ever talks about I guess. But maybe if you have , please please do advise ... I'm worried sick and so so embarrassed!

Don't stop drinking it can make it worse, but do swap to decaff. Have you verbalized the dream to someone. I read somewhere if you tell someone it you are much less likely to have the dream again. I now do this and it seems to work.

A few years ago I was feeling the urge to wee really urgently. Like couldn't get my pants down quickly enough but not related to how much wee came out. I went to the GP. She said that our bladder control is actually very complex in terms of psychological and physical control. She gave me some exercises to do. But actually I think I just needed to be told I was OK! Anyway I'm replying because it was absolutely fine going to the GP and not really embarrassing. Also as she'd said it's quite complex it doesn't actually mean you've just fully lost bladder control and that's it forever! Please just see your GP

i regularly have the wee dream, but fortunately always wake up before it's too late. i have wondered if that might stop someday

UTI could be a possibility as pp said - our cat peed all over the place when he had one, poor little sod.

Have u been checked for a urine infection? Are your pelvic floor muscles ok?

OP, it really isn’t that uncommon. Seriously. You had a couple of accidents.
Are you stressed?
When I drink coke or coffee it goes straight through me. As in literally 15 minutes. Let alone a whole night. I just think you drank too much diuretic stuff and you just needed to go. No biggie.
Hugs, it happens more often than you think, people are just embarassed to talk about it. It’ll pass.

I second the urine infection, I had an incident like this and antibiotics fixed it straight away

It sounds more like a uti to ne.
I have incontinence but never wet the bed, I do wake up and struggle to make it to the loo though.
If I have the weeing dream its because I really need to go, maybe you're in such a deep sleep you aren't able to wake up on time?

If you've only just started doing this then something must have changed either dietary or physically - I'm going with the UTI too.
Did the GP check your urine?

I don't have UTI - it's the first thing the Gp checked.

She's actually not a bad Gp. She said my pelvic floor muscles were a little weak and pelvic floor exercises would really help but I don't see the connection enough to actually take that too seriously. I'm probably being really thick though so feel free to educate me!

Thanks so much to all the posters . It really means a lot.

I'm just so worried I'm dying or something ( I have health anxiety which is under control at the moment but this seems to be relighting that fire quite quickly )

I'm not particularly stressed. Well. Actually I am , and very knackered too. But who wouldn't be with three young dc/sahm with a dh who is hardly around (work). But then I'm sure every sahm who is knackered doesnt piss themselves either

I'm not particularly stressed. Well. Actually I am , and very knackered too.

I'm going to bet that you're so knackered that you're sleeping very deeply. Normally we wake up when we need the loo at night. Enough to consciously get up and go to the bathroom. Sounds like you stay asleep because you're so tired. You know you need the loo hence the dream .

OP I have health anxiety too. So totally understand. I try to remind myself very few things are actually that I'm dying and that a week or so of keeping an eye on this won't make much difference even if it was serious.

The pelvic floor thing is worth paying attention to I think. As if muscles are weak your piss not quite able to hold it. Also I se ond pp's suggestion that you're sleeping very deeply.

Thanks @WhiteDust ❤️ you're probably right about that.

I've had so much going on in the past 2 years. Too much. Birth, death, massive house move.. it's all been happening! And through it all, I am first and foremost mummy. It's just so fucking hard.

Since someone mentioned it's a more complex psychological issue, I'm wondering if hypnosis will help?? I've tried hypnobirthing and it was brilliant.

Also going to start setting an alarm for the middle of the night so I can go to the toilet. And get even more knackered

Just adding another voice to the toilet dream brigade so you know you aren't alone.

I have peed the bed once because of it and a few times managed to wake myself up just as the first dribble starts so its just my pjs that are wet.

Sometimes I dream about not being able to find a clean or private toilet. Often its a changing room type bathroom and none of the stalls have doors or there is a door and I go in and close it but then notice there is a whole side of the stall exposed. I have no idea why I am so obsessed with toilets in my dreams - I think I have a normal bladder / toilet relationship in real life!

❤️ for you too OP.

See your go but I would avoid caffeine after 4pm and sip water in the evening. Buy reusable pants as a precaution

www.depend.co.uk/advice/conditions/nocturnal-enuresis

Read this OP! Stress is a factor.

While you look for solution maternity mats (or puppy pads) might be useful and less upsetting for you than incontinence pads.

This happened to me twice as an adult, the first was trauma but the second was stress (also with DH in the bed, we've never spoken about it, just changed the bed and went back to sleep ). If you're stressed maybe that could be it? I'm also a sleep walker when I'm stressed and ended up taking a fall down the stairs so just in case, be careful!

A consultant I saw said to cut out all citrus, fruit and juices; all caffeine, tea, coffee, coke etc; in fact all fizzy drinks inc. sparkling water; tomatoes; and rather tragically, chocolate. She apparently follows this regime herself.

reads last post and puts down chocolate covered pretzel from midway to mouth

I have to laugh otherwise I will bawl my eyes out 😂😩

@BuildBuildings was that a very unfortunate typo I spotted

Omg @WhiteDust that website ... I just can't 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP you eat that chocolate covered pretzel then I can justify the bar of Aero that is calling me from the kitchen cupboard. I have tried to follow the consultants regime and cut out the tea, coffee, fizzy drinks, citrus fruits and citrus drinks but eliminating chocolate is a step too far.

Pelvic floor exercises are essential to maintaining continence as we go through childbearing and get older. The pelvic floor muscles are not just vaginal but run from your symphysis pubis to your rectum. Childbearing stretches and weakens them.
It’s a good starting point so get some weights and start using them. It helps your sex life too, so another good reason.
Then go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a continence clinic for proper assessment and treatment. Actually don’t ask, insist.
Women, and particularly young women, should not tolerate enuresis.
The staff in continence clinics are usually lovely and incredibly sensitive.

You can!!! It explains it all! Nothing embarrasses me after having children!