Cancer Support Thread #71 - here to help if you’re dealing with cancer in any shape or form, come in and say hello.

[Brassica]

Hi again everyone and welcome to the 71st new thread for cancer support.

All those who are currently being treated, have been treated in the past, have worries and concerns and/or are having tests are very welcome to pull up a chair and chat, vent, rant, pour hearts out, share milestones and anything else! We are a very friendly and all-too experienced bunch on here and there are no questions too small or silly to ask.

Our previous thread is here .

Anyone with any type of cancer (female or male) is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Please can I invite current members to reintroduce yourselves below for latest situations and stories so far.

Thanks for that toofar and bridget, it resonates with me. PTSD has been mentioned to me as a possible consequence of the treatment I've had. I'm keeping an eye on my mental state and will ask for help if I need it.

bridget
Hoping your treatment is going ok today.

I've had my blood test for good or ill 🤞🤞🤞

Off for a walk over the common with a mushroom and bird expert, so will be learning something. I had a return of the dreaded tum issue in the early hours after a couple of days break. Hoping it's done for today....

On the subject of crass comments, I think it depends who's saying it. My dear friend who comes with me on chemo day sometimes says things like "only 2 more to go now" but I know she's just being encouraging and counting down with me. She knows the full grimness of what it's like because she's been there with me. Similarly my fella says the same kind of thing in the same spirit, but again he knows what I'm going through and doesn't minimise any of that.

For me it's when people don't know what they're talking about that it's irritating. I guess they can't be blamed for that if they've not got personal knowledge or experience....but then maybe they'd just be better off keeping their traps shut! Or if they need to say something, perhaps just asking how you are and then listening to the answer. I think that's what I'd do.

I do think some of the dismissive comments are based in fear....along the lines of....."if you can get it than maybe so can I".....so minimising is kind of self protection.
Just my 2p worth...

You may well be right there WTF. I think for those on the outside, weeks pass by so quickly and they think about us every once in a while and assume it must be nearly over, but don’t know what going through it is like and nor do they really pay attention when we tell them what the treatment regime involves. I try to be patient with them in my head but I find it quite difficult.

Hope the dire rear is an isolated episode today and your blood count is up to scratch. Good news on my side - my blood count for WBC and platelets is off the scale so we are full steam ahead now with #14 at last. Relieved!

Skap I told the physio I wanted him to do the Epley manoeuvre but it turned out he was more of an osteopath hence the ineffectual ear pulling.

Redspook I’m pleased to hear you say you’re mindful of PTSD signs. Let’s hope you breeze through the aftermath but if you need help there is zero shame in that. Good to see you again Toofar and to hear that the post-treatment signs are good. I can only imagine you have some adjustment to make on returning to ‘normal’ life again after what you went through. I hope it gets easier and your colleagues understand you need a vent from time to time.

I had a shocking night’s sleep last night, apropos nothing much. Just woke up about 1am and didn’t sleep again till about 5am. I’ll be knackered later but at least I will get a good kip once the piriton starts going in. I am so affected by that stuff.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend in store. We have just waved off one au pair and her replacement arrived on Sunday, plus we are off to see Muse at the O2 tomorrow night. We’re big fans and I had to miss them when they played London earlier this year because of EC chemo. I was supposed to be celebrating the end of chemo altogether this weekend which would have been better but hopefully will get through tomorrow night ok and feel better for being out and about.

Gentle hugs for those who need them .

Very sore and swollen armpit today . My gp fitted me in and has started me on penicillin and have strict instructions to listen to my body and get ooh dr out to me if needed .
DH gets back to island about 9 tonight so will have cover and a driver if needed.
DD is blaming it on the sewing I did this morning but it was already swollen so I don’t think it’s that !
She’s not happy with me ! “Oh ! mother !”

Trumpton that doesn't sound good at all. Thank goodness you were able to get seen quickly.

I have to say that our health service is fabulous . I am always stunned when I hear that people have to wait weeks for an appointment.
I rang surgery at 2.30 and was seen by 4.00.
Now tucked up in bed waiting the return of DH . I will try to stay awake otherwise it will worry him .

Oh Trumpton you didn't need that! I hope the ABs kick in quickly and your DH gets home very soon.

Brassica hope you catch up on the sleep tonight so you can enjoy Muse tomorrow.

Hi everyone, I don’t post much because my treatment for breast cancer was last year, but I lurk occasionally.

If it helps anyone, I was diagnosed with PTSD in May of this year after breaking down at an onc appointment. I hadn’t realised how much of a mask I had been putting on for everyone around me, at home and work. I now see a psychologist every fortnight and am starting to recover. My GP has been a godsend.

Friends and colleagues were so relieved that it was all over and done with that I felt I had no time to heal so went with it. It’s a life changing experience alright!

Best wishes and gentle hugs to everyone.

dramaqueen. That is actually very helpful to hear. I think we all try to get through it all as far as possible without any fuss but in fact it is a massive thing to go through. Thank goodness you had a Gp that understood what was happening to you

Trumpton, very sorry you are poorly, hope the ABs do the trick very quickly. You live on an island?!

WTF that's brilliant that your blood is full of all the right stuff, here's to your penultimate chemo on Monday!

I had a rather gruelling day, we got to the ward at 11.45 for 12.00 appointment, didn't get called for two hours. It's the pharmacy, they just don't manage to get the meds up in time. We didn't leave the hospital till 7.45. And WTF the Piriton really knocks me out too, I dozed a lot today. God knows how much they give us!

Sympathy to everyone who's having a hard time, physically or emotionally,

Well guys that was a fun half hour . I was asleep and woke up suddenly as my armpit popped and soaked me and the bed !
Now changed and less shaky and waiting for call back from ooh dr .
I think it was just fluid build up at least I won’t need a drain !
Got a gap where the stitches were though and dd who is a midwife thinks it needs new steri strips .
@meercat23 yes I live on the Isle of Man .

Dr given the ok to stay home if dd dresses it and will ask district nurse to call in tomorrow .
Night night all .

That happened to me Trumpton, hope you're feeling some relief now, I had awful leakage after my op and under my arm was the worse.

The side effects of anastrazole are starting to kick in, not very pleasant at all, I've had my scan and markings for radiation so that should start in the next couple of weeks.

Getting a bit fed up with it all now to be honest

Sorry I can't mention everyone I will when I catch up on the thread

I think we are all so brave in the beginning and holding our own that eventually it hits us, and we realise what we are actually going through, its not bloody easy and as for the comments from some people about how its all going to be fine because they know who blah blah blah well I just smile and nod now.

Anyway I'm waffling, best wishes to all x

Eek Trumpton that sounds nasty - hope it stays intact from now on! My choir did a trip to the IoM a couple of years ago; unfortunately it coincided with terrible storms but we had some good times nonetheless, sang with a lovely male voice choir in Douglas.

ellen, nice to hear from you, but sorry you are suffering with anastrazole. There's nothing fun about getting through cancer - except, for me, the care and support from family and friends has been very moving and heartwarming.

Hello, I'm new here. I've just tried to read through the whole thread as I'm not sleeping too well.
I've been diagnosed with gynae cancer, either endometrial or cervical. It's in both areas and I don't yet know the primary one. I've had my scans and should know more by the middle of next week.

I've told work as Ive needed time off for all the appointments this week. They have been amazing but I'm so worried about the burden anytime off places on others and the potential impact on the children I work with.

I'm telling three of my children today but one is away for the year so no idea how to tell him. I was going to wait until I had more results but I don't want them to be the last to know. Also have an irrational fear they will find out via social media .

Outwardly I appear fine but inside I'm much less sure.

I've already had a friend say don't worry you might just need a hysterectomy and you'll be fine. I know they mean we'll but at this point I feel it's so much mentally deeper than that

This has been a bit of a rambly introduction.

I guess I'm not glad to be here, but I'm very grateful there is somewhere I can come and express what I'm actually feeling.

My last paragraph didn't sound how I intended it! I am very grateful that you are all here. I wish none of you had to be.
Reading through the thread has made me feel much less alone.
Excuse all typos, tired and emotional thumbs.

catnidge. Your last paragraph is fine. Everyone here knows exactly what you meant. I have found this thread to be an amazing source of information, advice and most of all support from people who know exactly how it feels to be having to face this horrible disease. You are very Welcome here but I really wish that none of us needed to come and find this thread.

Your friends comment about perhaps you will ONLY have to have a hysterectomy made me blink a bit. Nothing only about that at all!! I think often people who haven't been through it just don't really know what to say and I have to remind myself that until recently I would probably have wanted to say something supportive but have had no idea at all what to say beyond I am so sorry to hear that.

Waiting for a clear diagnosis and a settled treatment plan is one of the worst bits of the whole thing and it is frustrating as it can take a while. Meanwhile, if you are anything like me, your mind goes into overdrive.

My cancer was breast cancer and so my treatment and experience is likely to be different but I am sure there will be someone along shortly that has something more useful to say.

Hello Catnidge and welcome. I’m sorry that you have to be here but hope it will be a good place to hang out for as long as you need. I wrote a message out already but annoyingly it got lost, so here is my second attempt.

Do you have a partner to go to appointments with you and support you more generally? I think your instincts are right to tell your children sooner rather than later. Are any of them little? If so there’s a good Macmillan (I think) booklet about how to tell young children.

For your absent son, is he on a gap year or something, so difficult to reach by phone? It might be worth thinking about telling him once you have the diagnosis and treatment plan since he is away and may feel more helpless as a result. You know him and how he is likely to react, so go with that.

I hope the appointment next week gives you some clarity and reassurance on next steps. You’re obviously in a very new and scary phase at the moment where you know something is badly wrong but don’t know what’s next. We all know this is horrible and your mind can’t help going crazy.

As for work, they will cope without you for a while but it may help your sense of diligence if you pull together some handover notes or something before you disappear on sick leave. It’ll help distract you now and also have a clear conscience. It is worth asking your doctors about the amount of time off you may need so you can tell work and let them plan. I have breast cancer and am expecting it to be 10-11 months off in all - way longer than I expected! Just to help you manage your own expectations too

With friends, you might be braver than me and send them [https://zenpsychiatry.com/how-to-help-someone-with-cancer/ this website]] that tells them how to behave around you! You’ve probably seen that we’ve been discussing unhelpful remarks in the last day or two !

catnidge I am sorry for what you are going through but glad you have found this thread which is unique and valuable. I seldom use MN now although have been here over 10 years but have found this thread a little corner where I can talk to people who know what it's like. Telling the children is hard, however old they may be. I held off telling mine (23 and 21) until I had a definite diagnosis and a vague plan but it was hard. You don't want anyone else to know before them so that means no-one to confide in. I felt very relieved once my DC knew. Is the one who is away a long way away? They might want to rush home so be prepared for what you want to say. And yes, this part, the vague waiting part, is mentally tough.

Hello and welcome, Catnidge. Sorry you have to be here and are in this very difficult phase of waiting for results. meercat and

Damn pressed wrong buttton! meercat, Brassica and Skap have said everything I would have. I have ovarian cancer and had a radical hysterectomy in late May: womb, ovaries, Fallopian tubes, cervix, omentum, a bit of bowel which thankfully they were able to reattach. The surgery was successful and I made a good recovery, no problems with the scar. I was in hospital 9 nights, longer than I expected, and it did take about 6 weeks to get over it, then I started chemo in that time (if you need chemo, apparently the sooner you can start it after surgery, the better it works).

Anyway I do hope a simple hysterectomy will be all that's needed for you. And that you have lots of support IRL.

I got distracted for a bit there but meant also to send very gentle hugs to trumpton - the burst wound sounds painful and horrible. I hope it will quickly repair and that your DH is back helping so you can rest it completely. Sewing doesn’t really sound like an extreme activity so I find it hard to imagine that caused it!

Thanks also dramaqueen for popping in and giving your update. I hope your PTSD is improving with some time and therapy.

Good to get another chemo chalked up Bridget although a long day isn’t ideal. You must be nearly finished now?! 😉

Ellen what are the side effects of anastrozole? Are you getting the full set or just the worst ones? I hope it settles down in some way. Getting fed up is something we can all recognise for sure. Tomorrow may well be a better day.

I got a good night’s sleep and my DH has taken the children out conkering so I can rest up a bit. Needless to say, the sun’s out so I’m on the swing seat! My favourite place.

Have a peaceful and ideally pain-free weekend lacies x

Trumpton how are you this morning?

ellenanora5 how long do you have to take the anastrazole? Is it something where the side effects wear off or are you stuck with them?

On a positive note I'm feeling good today. The physio / arm waving exercises are working. Did my first Pilates class since surgery and I managed most of it. I couldn't do the plank but I couldn't before .