Cancer Support Thread #71 - here to help if you’re dealing with cancer in any shape or form, come in and say hello.

[Brassica]

Hi again everyone and welcome to the 71st new thread for cancer support.

All those who are currently being treated, have been treated in the past, have worries and concerns and/or are having tests are very welcome to pull up a chair and chat, vent, rant, pour hearts out, share milestones and anything else! We are a very friendly and all-too experienced bunch on here and there are no questions too small or silly to ask.

Our previous thread is here .

Anyone with any type of cancer (female or male) is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Please can I invite current members to reintroduce yourselves below for latest situations and stories so far.

Hi everyone
I haven't read anything that was posted before my own post which was 3 days ago
. But I've kept an eye on what has happened since. You all seem so upbeat

I hope I can get there and be helpful to others.

Meanwhile my situation has changed. My gp told me I very probably had cancer in the upper chamber of my right lung. He was young and kind. In my inimitable way I felt sorry for him
So I didn't tell anyone for 5 days (no idea why I'm working in days).
I told my husband. It was awful. So awful.

Then i came to you guys and you were so supportive.
Twitterqueen I am so sad for you. You are amazing and probably quite young .

I have not shed a single tear for myself! Is this normal? Am I in denial?

I have 3 children and 3 grandchildren.

Just to add. 2 of my grown up children are in Australia. I am in the UK. We can't hug! I feel like I've detonated a bomb under their wonderful lives!

Hi beer
you are going the hardest part right now.

I will be 60 on 11th August so I'm youngish with 3 DDs, 1 at uni, 1 graduated last year and living at home and 1 living with bf near Leicester. I am very lucky - they are all very close and they're wonderful.

I am resigned. There is nothing I can do to change things.

iVampire that's rubbish re hanging around and having to wait for the letter etc, but very good news re remission! beer so sorry you are in this situation, it's horrible when it hurts people you love, isn't it?

Beer, forgive me but is the diagnosis all coming from your GP or have you had the CT scan results yet or seen a specialist? Is the GP in a position to know for sure? It must have been tremendously hard to tell your family, but now it is out there let yourself lean on them as needed, and encourage them obviously to talk to their supportive friends/family. If it helps, I have barely cried about my diagnosis since it happened in April. That might be numbness, getting stuck in some phase of coping or my weird personality being very practical and dealing in facts so I’ve had my head down most of the time. I have cried about stuff like losing hair and food tasting horrible after chemo. Not the serious stuff really!

TQ hopefully it goes without saying but I’m very sorry to hear active treatment is at an end for you now. Good to hear that the girls are rallying and being brilliant, least you deserve of course! I can only imagine how utterly delightful it was to get out of hospital again so do us a favour and stay out for a while eh! Whenever I’ve been in hospital for more than a couple of days (not often luckily) I can tell I get a real institutionalised, inmate feeling and converting back to life ‘outside’ can be weird. I don’t think you will have struggled with that somehow.

iVampire that all sounds like a vexing mix of delays and it would irritate anyone. Good for you for pushing for the letter and hopefully they are embarrassed into chasing it up faster.

Hope everyone has something nice on for the weekend. It’s my birthday on Saturday (47 shock horror), we’re having friends round and attempting a barbecue if it doesn’t pee down. Last night I went to my group tennis lesson for the first time in weeks and weeks, which felt good. Played ok too. This is encouraging as I had my second carb/pax dose on Tuesday which left me feeling fatigued first time.

Waves to everyone I’ve missed.

Beer I think denial or an absence of strong reaction is quite normal. In the back of my mind I had always expected that if the situation arose when I was told that I had cancer that I would be in pieces. When it happened I felt nothing at all. It was quite weird. It was as if it wasn't happening to me at all. It took me a while to use the word cancer even to myself.

For me the reaction came when I was told that the treatment plan would include chemo. I had been told previously that it would be rads and tablets. I don't know why the word chemo hit me harder than the thought of rads but it did.

The main thing is that there is no right way to react or cope and once you do have a clear treatment plan it does all get a bit easier to cope with as you can just plough on through it.

Brassica I hope you have a lovely birthday and that the rain holds off for your BBQ

I am working tomorrow morning. Not such a good idea as it turns out. I sort of thought the fatigue they tell you about was no difference from ordinary tiredness and nothing that an early night couldn't sort out. Ooops. Still I am committed now so I will do it and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing much. Last week of rads next week and then I can think about the short break in France that we have planned to celebrate the end of the intense phase of treatment. Cant wait

Happy weekend to everyone.

‘Beer’ Welcome to the group 💐
I’m having another wobble with my colonoscopy next week. They’ve never been able to complete them due to pain from diverticulitis so my colon cancer was diagnosed with a ct colonography.
They were happy to continue using that method for my 5 year surveillance but my new diagnosis of Lynch Syndrome means I’d end up with an excess of radiation so they’ve gone back to ‘trying’ a colonoscopy using optimum sedation (How weird, autocorrect changed sedation to Seduction!! Maybe I’ll suggest that to them! 😜) And a paediatric scope.
Having cancer was bad enough, but it was MY cancer. The thought that I’ve passed LS onto my children is filling me with absolute dread.
Until I know which mutation I have, we are keeping it under wraps
Does anyone else have Lynch Syndrome on this group?

Once again thank you for your replies. You're all so lovely. I'm sorry to hear Ofyour latest diagnosis borntobeamum.

I'm glad to hear that the numbness isn't uncommon. I thought I was just an unemotional weirdo.
Except I'm not ....because the thought of having to give my children the news breaks my heart. And so far I have nothing solid to tell.

The nurse practitioner has just called to say the scan 'didn't confirm one way or the other what you discussed with doctor last week' I have to go for bloods later this morning.

What does this mean? Im asking here because my brain didn't engage quickly enough to ask her
And I'm following previous advice to avoid google!
Do I dare be hopeful?

If the worst is confirmed then I hope I can be as determined and brave as all of you

Hi everyone

I've just come across this thread, hope no one minds me joining in, I haven't read the thread yet but I will over the next day or so, I was told last week I have breast cancer, I had an operation on tuesday and a stay overnight, it was a lumpectomy and for some reason I can't remember what they did with the lymph nodes but under my arm is agony, I'm sleeping a lot which is helping, anyway just thought I'd say hi and hopefully can contribute or be a sounding ear or I may just rant and rave

I'll be back when I've caught up with the thread

Thanks all

Hi Ellen
You've come to the right place. I only joined a few days ago and immediately felt supported here.

I am in the same boat as you. Newly diagnosed. Except I'm no longer sure what I've been diagnosed with

I can't answer your question but someone who can will be along soon.

You're very brave to read the entire thread. I haven't found the courage yet!

Good luck

Thanks for all the kind words, especially from those who are clearly very ill.
I'm waiting for test results on a "highly suspicious" breast lump.
ellenanora5 The consultant told me she would expect to do a lumpectomy.
I've only told DH who is always very sanguine about such things. So we are pretending nothing is happening. I'm actually quite calm but have eaten lots of cake and ice cream and drunk a bit too much wine. Five more days to wait.

Happy Birthday Brassica. Hope you have a lovely day.

I've been away and just skimming posts, will catch up later. Sorry to see some new people here and lots of waiting for news/results. Take care xx

Happy birthday Brassica! Hope you're getting some sunshine and cake!

Happy Birthday brassica, hope you've had a lovely day.
Welcome to the new posters and good wishes that your results are hopeful x

Here’s birthday

Welcome, new posters, to the best ever club that no-one ever wants to join. Still hoping (in the nicest possible way) that you can all bugger off with no need to be here. But here we are indeed for anyone in need,

Next door (down a few) is having a noisy party, I might have to have another drink to ease the dropping off. I can sleep through anything once asleep. But disturb me whilst dropping off and I’m a sleepless savage

iVampire I hope you did manage to drop off quickly last night. I am just the same, if anything disturbs me when I am just dropping off or have just dozed off then I am instantly wide awake and it can take ages to drop off again. Once asleep properly I can sleep through thunder storms and not even know they have happened.

Last week of Rads starting tomorrow. I cant wait for it to be over. I know I am so lucky. Some of the people I have met at the Rads centre have up to 9 weeks of treatment and 7 seems to be the most common. My course of treatment is only 18 sessions over 3 and a half weeks but the fatigue is already something else. How they cope with 7-9 weeks I cant begin to imagine.

After next week there will still be the three weekly Herceptin until next spring and the dreaded Anastrazole for however long but it does feel as if the rhythm of life can get back to something like normal.

I hope the weekend is a good time for everyone and that you are all managing to soend time doing what makes you feel good.

Morning. I've been quite nauseous since Friday, but apart from yesterday morning have been able to keep a lid on it with the meds.
Managed to go to a social event yesterday afternoon, having agreed a prearranged "get me out of here" code word with DP. We haven't told anyone about my diagnosis, which makes conversation about summer holiday plans difficult. I felt very detached from it all but was glad I'd made the effort to go. Just another little bit of normal to hang on to.
This morning SO told me to stay in bed, and has brought me the paper and some ginger nuts. He's now hoovering downstairs.
He's a good'un, I've had him for 38 years. Think I might keep him

Hi everyone
I don’t know if it’s OK for me to join this thread since I’m not officially diagnosed. I don’t want anyone to feel offended.

I’m 40, a 4 yo and no family history of Breast cancer.
When I was 27, I found a lump in my left breast, had a sonogram and a diagnosis of fibroadenoma. The radiologist said I should consider removing it. My GP said fibroadenomas never turn into cancer and surgery scars can make futur mammos less easy to read. So I left it alone.

Problem is, no one told me about doing follow up scans. So I didn’t, for 10 years!

2 years ago, I started feeling pain in that breast. It would like dull burning sensation that comes for a few days and go. So I asked for an exam, got a mammogram, then right after an ultra sound. I told the doctor about the existing lump and she said she needed my previous scan results for comparaison. She didn’t find anything else but a lump, right were I always had one. She didn’t seem concerned so I left pretty confident I had nothing.

I looked for the former scans, in vain. I got caught up in my personal dramas and forgot about it. The lab never called me, nor did the obi gyn that ordered the exam.

Fast forward two years, I get a call from the lab, asking me to come and pick my file since it’s been 2 years. I took it and left without anyone saying anything to me. I got home, read the report and googled it.
The US is flagged BIRADS 4 : biopsy
I was in choc. I’ve made an appointment for the biopsy in a few days.

It’s one thing to fear cancer, it’s another thing to think 2 years had gone by, leaving it a chance to spread and possibly making it more difficult to treat.

About 3 months ago I started feeling small lumps in the upper side of that breast. At first I wasn’t sure if it was really different from the right side. Now tho, I’m confident it is. It feels like a bunch of tiny lump close together. It’s a bit painful too. The entire breast is painful more often and longer.

I’m now wondering if my general health issues are not related. I’m often tired, often get colds, sore throat and dull pain in my joints or lower back.

Again I know some most of you guys are cancer survivors who went through worse. I may sound ridiculous and I’m sorry.
Still if any of tous has any advice or story to share, i’ll be grateful

meercat I so want to be you. Our treatment paths are similar I think and you give me hope that there will be an end in sight. Im just at the end of week 1 , cycle 3 and have struggled this week, mostly the nausea and guts feeling all over the place, plus that weird head detached from body sensation. I do feel a little bit better today but have felt quite down this week at the prospect of 4 more cycles, albeit of tax rather than FEC, and wondering how I'm gonna get through it.
Obvs I will because there is no choice....

red glad you're doing ok and well done you for getting out and about. Your SO sounds like a star!

gaelle I'm not sure what to make of your situation and find it hard to process the details with my chemo-befuddled brain but it does sound as if you're in a position of uncertainty which, as most of us here know, is not a comfortable place to be. Are you in the UK? I hope you get some clarity soon. You're more than welcome to hang out here for a hand hold whilst youre waiting.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Gaelle It isn't quite clear from your post where you are with checking out the new lumps you have found? Have you been back to get these checked out? If not I would urge you to do that straight away.

If I have misunderstood and you have already done that and are waiting for results, I sympathise. Waiting for results, for a treatment plan or just for treatment to start is so hard.

WTF99 You will get there. Treatment seems to stretch out ahead of you endlessly but it does end

Hi all

New here - had pelvic scan on Friday after variety of symptoms including very heavy periods, pain radiating down left leg, mid cycle bleeding, loads of UTIs (clear cystoscope), bowel changes, constant bloating, history of dodgy cervical cells. Technician concentrated on left side (which is where I get pain), asked if I had mid cycle bleeding and then said that the GP would be in touch on Monday (tomorrow). I am assuming that there was something to see else turnaround would be longer? I have a gynae consult in three weeks anyway (and probably colposcopy due to history) but am fearing other answers. Unfortunately very strong family history of various cancers incl. breast, gynae and bowel.

Just needed somewhere safe to vent.

Hi kepisback - vent away! Hope you get some answers tomorrow- uncertainty is the hardest part x

Hello to our new joiners, sounds as if you all need some so grab a glass. It is very hard when you are told you have a reason to worry, or you find something new, or kick yourself that maybe you didn’t take something seriously enough before...I hope you can all get quick answers and have minds put back at rest.

Gaelle I’m not familiar with the BIRADS thing (American terminology?) although I have breast cancer. Having googled it, (and for the benefit of others, it means they thought there was a reasonable risk of something being suspicious) does sound as if your booking a biopsy is the right thing to do so I’m sure you have acted appropriately now you have your file but it sounds really negligent that nobody called you to discuss that at the time. However, if it is any reassurance my tumour was 4cm after about 6 months of growth. It had not been there for ages and I guess if you are just finding small lumps now then I would very much hope they have not been there for 2 years just quietly being ignored, if indeed they are anything at all to worry about. I’m not sure I’m articulating myself very well but what I mean is please try not to assume you have two years’ worth of cancer growth. I hope you can get the biopsy done quickly and get results fast too.

Kep, I can imagine your mind is going a bit crazy. I hope the doc can give you some solid and good news tomorrow. We are here to hand hold as needed so vent away as toofar says!

Born, I don’t know anything about Lynch syndrome but had a google so now I know a little more. Maybe ahead of your scope it would be worth calling one of the information lines to see if you can get some reassurance on what to expect and so on? I do hope the scope is easy on the day, it must be nerve wracking for so many reasons and I feel for you.

TQ how is your vibrating bum cushion going? I saw on your other thread that you’d had a tumble and hope you have been feeling better since. Really not worth getting hurt putting flipping rubbish outside, leave that one for the helpers!

Thanks for the birthday wishes. I had a lovely day but I’ve been feeling a bit shite today. We’re with my parents and they tend to want to talk a lot when they see us, they don’t get many different people to offload to, so I’ve been feeling a bit inundated with information on a gazillion different topics at the same time as having dicky guts and a disconnected head/body and wobbly legs from overdoing it the last few days/chemo side effects. In the end I took myself off to bed to get some peace. It’s hard to explain how strange I feel sometimes when I can’t manage being around people and suddenly feels as if there’s just too much noise around me. Does anyone else get like that?

Hello to Ellen, hope the post op pain is more under control now, wishing you a good recovery. Kep and Gaelle, hello and sorry you are in this very worrying phase; hope you can get answers/reassurance/diagnosis very soon.

Brassica, sorry your birthday wasn't so great. I've certainly noticed since I had surgery - gosh, 8 weeks ago now - that some visitors did make me feel tired! Nothing to do with how much I liked them, just something about the way they talked, I don't know.

Commiserations to those going through tough treatment and coping with nausea, fatigue and recalcitrant innards. I have my second chemo tomorrow and am wondering what delights are in store this time. My hair started falling out yesterday, I was wondering how long it will take to go completely, does it vary a lot or is it generally just a few days? Weeks? Mine is less than an inch long anyway, but like the wrong partner, if it's going, I'd like it to go quickly!

I shaved my head in the end Bridget - it just felt like one thing I could actually control in the midst of all the things I can't. The bald patches as it's coming out might not look so bad if you have very short hair anyway, I just looked like I had a very dodgy combover!

Sorry you are feeling low Brassica. Chemo sucks and it's hard enough just to keep your train of thought through one conversation without being bombarded.

Do the ginger nuts help red? Hot cross buns got me though AC Chemo, DH would bring me one with a coffee every morning. I bought some extra for the freezer after Easter but as soon as I changed to Taxol I didn't need them any more. I think it was the ginger and other spices that did the trick.

I see you are starting Taxol soon WTF, make sure you have Panadol Osteo in the house. I always thought the specific paracetamol products were nonsense but between days 3 and 5 after Chemo I really needed them for muscle aches. Normal paracetamol did nothing and my oncologist told me to ignore maximum dose (but not interval between pills) for the three days.

Glad to see you are working your way through rads Meercat - doesn't seem that long since you started. Does the Herceptin start after rads or have you been having it for a while? I am HER- so don't know much about it.

To everyone else, especially new posters, that's as much as my brain can take for now so lots of good wishes and hope (in the nicest possible way) some of you won't be here for long 😊