Im in hospital and my husband wants me to discharge myself

[chocolateorange93]

He wants me to discharge myself so he doesn't have to take any time off work if we cant get help with childcare

I do get where he's coming from but that means looking after 3 kids and going to work also still with the issue I'm at hospital for as the treatment they tried yesterday hasn't worked so they unsure where to go from here so waiting on a specialist who should be here later who may discharge me but I've said until they discharge me I'm not discharging myself

I get his point of view with childcare etc
But why should i have to physically and mentally suffer by discharging myself to save him the hassle.

@Cottonwoolmouth

They cant go in to nursery without paying a registering fee and havin 2 2 hour visits before hand so no good for the next few days

He needs to arranged childcare. I get that he doesnt want to lose his job but hospitals don't keep you in to give you a rest. They keep you in so they can be assured you're ready to leave.
Don't jeopardise your long term health because he can't ARRANGE childcare.

As everyone else has said, don't discharge yourself. Your DH is looking at the short term. He needs to consider the longer term- if you discharge yourself, you could be making much worse problems for yourself and you could end up much longer in hospital.

Two youngest are 1,2 and then 9

If it's a one off and he isn't generally like this then I can understand that maybe it's the stress of worrying about losing his job that has led him to say this.

I'm not a fan of Facebook at all, but I wonder at times like these, when you are really struggling, if it's worth putting a post up exposing that you are in hospital and struggling and can anyone help with childcare for a few days.

I know i would step in and help FB friend if I saw a post like that, and most of my FB friends that are near by are school mums, book group friend etc (our family are all far away too). BUT I think often, if you ask for help, people who you'd never expect step forward and support you and would if only they knew you needed it.

He has rang and apologised and said he just is worried about the job as well as him loosing this job will impact me no longer been able to get/do mine also

He said it feels like we are balancing cards and taking one away will make the whole deck fall which he is correct.

We are sorted for one more day atleast x

I'm sure there must be agencies which supply emergency, temporary nannies...I imagine its pretty pricey.

Do you have home start or anything similar in your area? He should call them and explain the situation, even the health visitor might be able to recommend a similar service if he calls them. There are people who will help, it just takes a bit of googling and phoning.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

It doesn’t sound like he’s being an arse, he sounds worried about finances.

What’s wrong? Have you explained your current home situation to the doctor?

I literally have no friends anyone i considered "close" i lost when i fell pregnant with my eldest early on and as been raising a family and working from when they entered college etc i havent had any real friends i jsut have Acquaintances

If I knew you, but not well enough to babysit for you usually, and I found out about your situation, I would offer to help.

It might be that there are acquaintances that you would usually feel you couldn't ask for help, who would be willing to do so given the circumstances. Is there anybody like that, or can you get the word out, somewhere? Are there any mums of your 9 year old's friends that could help, for example? Or neighbours?

Would the nine year old have a friend from school whose family you could ask for help? You don't have to be super friendly with the parents yourself but most people would not want to see the parent of a child's friend lose their job through an emergency like this. If the nine year old could go home from school with a friend for a couple of days it would at least be one third of the childcare dealt with.

Try local childminders. Mine took a sahm’s while she was on jury service and another who had an operation. So they might be more flexible if they have space

I think it's tricky as you can ask other school mums or acquaintances to help with school drop offs and pick ups, but looking after a 1 and 2 year old is a big ask.

@Holidayshopping yes i have explained it
He said i should he okay to look after them if i go home but will have to reduce the pain meds etc which im okay with aslong as bareable he said he maybe sending me home today anyway IF the specialist is okay with the follow up etc

I have a huge lump randomly formed on my face that came up overnight its throbbing and at first they thought cyst or abscess and brought me in to drain it - but its big and hard so they decided it isnt a abcess or cyst so cant drain it now they thought infection but with no infection markers I've had iv antibiotics and iv fluids as the placement is making it hard to eat and drink with it been bank holiday any other testing is delayed but he seems worried as i cant eat or drink and its so painful.
So although im not physically unable to look after kids as my body is okay ( other than my face) the doc is worried if the kids/myself catch it and cause pain as while he was palpitating it the other day i nearly passed out from the pain

Sounds like a really shit situation, workplaces don't seem to have much sympathy for people without flexible childcare.

I agree with appealing to friends and HV, maybe there is a childminder who could be a bit more flexible than a nursery

If you discharge yourself, it may take months of trying to get appointments to access this kind of medical expertise again. This is one of the worst things I have heard a partner do. I'm so sorry, OP.

Read your updates. I get it.

@formerbabe eldest is pretty sorted its youngest 2 that trying to find help with is pretty impossible i struggle for help for 2 hour slots for help sometimes never mind 9 and half hours😫

My mum is havin them tomorrow and taking eldest back and forth to school as she can work from home if enough people on office so she needs to find out if okay for wednesday but she will ask that tomorrow x

Whereabouts on your face? I had a lump come up suddenly on my face and refuse to go away, it turned out to be a blocked parotid gland.

If you are about to be homeless if your dh loses his job, can't children's services help? What do the staff say.

His workplace are being unmitigated shits.
I really feel for both of you

@Acis thats what i think it is! But docs wana try antis and all sorts first- cant get me an ultrasound this weekend with it been bakk hol so even if im discharged today i have to come back tomorrow or wed for a scan to check it isnt anything to do with that but whateber it is its putting strain/pushing on or wrapped around myTMJ which is causing me to have mouth weakness and struggling to eat and drink

Its huge like an abcess would look though 😫

What treatment did u have?

Don't know if you've said why you are in, but in one of my pregnancies I discharged myself from hospital for the same reason. My waters had broken several weeks before that and I was in for observation only. I lived not far from the hospital and had to come in every 2nd day for bloods. OP if you have some sort of serious illness that requires regular hospitalization I would be inclined to tell him not to bother much about this job. I really would not expect anyone other than very hands on, willing close family to regularly look after a 2 and1 year old.