CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 66 for those with cancer or awaiting cancer test results. Rant, rave, laugh, cry, joke, scream - whatever gets you through the day.

[TwitterQueen1]

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you have a loved one with cancer you can get support on a different thread here

For old and new posters it's very helpful if you (re)introduce yourself in your first post with a summary of your diagnosis (chemo brain is a real thing and my memory isn't what it used to be!).

Hi @Indiemum88 I was diagnosed with BC in July but I was different as the lump was identified very quickly. Honestly this is the worst part the waiting, just try and take your mind off the waiting, I know it's hard.
@Mrstraveller that's pretty shit. Have you contacted your breast cancer nurse, I think I'd call mine first and see what they suggest as mine have been very supportive. Fingers crossed it isn't anything sinister, but if it is, better to know and get a plan together. Let us know how you get on

So so sorry MrsT.

I’m sure the Breast care Nurse will ring you and you’ll get to see them quickly. I know that doesn’t help now but hopefully you won’t have the two week waiting time as you’re already in the system.

Thinking of you and keeping fingers crossed that it’s nothing to worry about. x x

Hey all, I keep losing the thread even though I've "watched" it.

I'm really struggling with my breathing. Went to town yesterday to do 3 shops and I damn near passed out middle of Primark. I get short of breath and then exhaustion hits and I need to sit done. I can't walk very far or fast.

Gp has given me salbutamol inhaler to see if that helps but I'm bloody terrified that I'm going to need a wheelchair.

Also had a bit of bad news, apparently my chemo will continue until September next year. I had thought it was 6 sessions before surgery and 6 afterwards.

Still not got a date for surgery. Oncology consultant is rather angry that I'm not even seeing the breast team until 19/12 and that's only because she reminded them at my last appointment. Honestly the whole things a fucking joke.

Got to go to addenbrooks for a echo of my heart with dye as the normal echo was detailed enough.

Good to hear from you @Pandoraslastchance but not good to hear their still f*cking things up! Time to do your shopping from your armchair. Get your team to give the surgeon a kick up the jacksey.
On a positive note, maybe they haven't met with you yet as they think your tumour will shrink a lot? My appointment was brought forward with the surgeon as the chemo doesn't seem to be touching it, great!
Hope you've got your feet up now.

Oh what a mess Pandora sorry your breathing is suffering. I hope the inhaler helps relieve it a bit. Mine seems to. I use a spacer with mine as otherwise I struggle to time the inhalation properly - you can buy one from the pharmacy. I have a wheelchair now. I haven't really been out lately except to the hospital. So I've only used it briefly. But it did make things easier. It's difficult to be dependent on someone pushing you though.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I’ve left a voicemail with breastcare nurse and phoned GP. The woman Gp who is supposed to be my main contact for cancer stuff is on the duty calls tomorrow so they’ve told me to call back at 8 am tomorrow. I guess if I see her tomorrow and she refers me under the 2 week thing, then if the breast care nurse can get me in quicker then fine but if not at least I know it will be a 2 week wait. My mum came round because I just felt so distressed. But feel a bit better now. Will just have to make sure I’m up and dressed for 8 am tomorrow and can get past the receptionists to get an appointment. Would prefer to see this particular GP if I can.

Fingers crossed for the GP tomorrow Mrstraveller also forgot to say I'm really sorry about your husband's late wife.

Thanks Leslie. It’s just so sad. I think that’s partly why I went into denial and didn’t perhaps go to the Doctor with the speed I should have done the first time round. I think my mind was saying ‘nooooo surely this can’t happen again”.

it's bloody unfair

Sending out lots of hand holds, and for people struggling today. Catastrophising is such an easy trap to fall into.

Pandora I get really breathless from the chemo too, I hadn't even thought about asking for an inhaler. I just assumed it was a common side effect I really do sympathise with you as it's bloody awful and frightening when trying to get upstairs makes you feel like your going to pass out. Is there any chance of them reducing your chemo by a bit to help with the side effects?

MrsT I'm keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow, let us know how you get on

Hi Indie the waiting around really is the worst part of all this. Do you have a date for your MRI?

Definitely ask about an inhaler purple :) it's worth a try, at least.

ranout no one at hospital has shown me any bra's, I was just directed to Asda, Sainsburys or M&S ... I have tried my local Sainsbuys but they had none in store. I cannot imagine they will look very nice as have also had a look on Amazon too, but thought I'd go where I could try on without the faff of sending back.

Simmi glad your chemo is working & your boob is looking more as it should!

mrst I hope you get seen quickly. I keep prodding/checking my none cancerous boob after the consultant asked me if I was checking my right one still. I had thought that getting a new lump was unlikely if having chemo before he said that. Hopefully you will get fast tracked to the breast clinic and it will be nothing to worry about. When is your next consultant appt too? Worth mentioning then as they may be able to get you seen quicker. I am guessing if you are on the 7 days of injections you will not see the consultant for a couple of weeks, but just incase. Sorry to hear too about your husbands first wife, it must have made all of this even harder for both of you to deal with & get your heads around. Try to keep in mind how much cancer treatment has progressed in the last 18 years, easier said than done I know.

Leslie I too have had lorezapan (sp?) it was for the nausea of my EC chemo and it also helps with dire rear I think too. I hope it helps with the anxiety. It sounds like you are being hit from all sides at the moment and I am sure whilst it is good to have these chats before you are really bad, it cannot be an easy or fun conversation. I suppose the fact the GP is speaking to you now before it is needed, you have to keep the before part in your mind as much as possible. Can you book in for another relaxing massage at the hospice to feel you better (as my youngest would say) it may help you relax if it is not too difficult to get there.

How are you feeling purple? Have you improved much since getting out of hospital?

Pandora sorry you are so breathless. I hope the inhaler helps, it seems to be one bad thing after another for you. I hope the more detailed heart scan goes ok to and you get your appointment to see your breast team soon regarding the op. I agree with ranout, internet shopping is the way forward!

addle I am sorry your DH is not being as supportive as he could be being. My ex (we are separated, not divorced yet) has been utterly useless and has seen less of the kids than he was doing prior (it turns out he has a new relationship which he seems to have prioritised) I also feel let down that I haven't had my husband as a support to me (although for me it is more that I am missing an idea of a supportive husband rather than the actual person) I have surrounded myself with friends who are supportive, either in person/what's app/texts. The ones who live further away have come & stayed when it fitted in with chemo, so I have had that support from my friends and family, but have not had a constant supportive person living with me. It is hard though and at least your DH is attempting to address things I suppose. It can take a while with MH issues to see any changes & I completely understand about the other person having the monopoly on the misery too.

I have had some rubbish news, my Aunty (who is also my fairy godmother and one of the most awesome people ever) she got called back from a routine mammogram on Tuesday for an appt Wednesday. They did biopsies, but are fairly sure (99%) that she has breast cancer. She will find out next week, but they think at this stage it will be treatable with an op followed by radio. She seems pretty upbeat, but i don't think it has sunk in yet.

It is my daughters 8th birthday today. Just awake before she charges in. I am amazed she slept last night as was in a high state of excitement and has been all week. She will be delirious in Hamleys on Saturday at this rate!

I hope everyone has a good Friday.

‘although for me it is more that I am missing an idea of a supportive husband rather than the actual person’

Snap!

Marriage was in injury time anyhow, diagnosis just clarified everything. Still haven’t screwed up the resolve to initiate divorce though.

The idea that someone would have your back is just an unbelievable dream for me, DC are old enough to be useful, but there is stuff I just can’t put on them.

Though DD has very kindly offered to put me on a dating site (not Tinder - I’m too old for that one according to her) and will both write the ad and vet the respondents.

Hi Noodles

Thanks for your post. Yes I too would have not thought to check if part way through the junior doctor had not said “are you still checking for lumps and bumps”. You kind of think in between all the MRIs something would have been picked up but I guess you never know. I’m wracking my brains trying to remember whether the Oncologist checked both breasts when I saw her 3 weeks ago but can’t remember now. I think in future I’m going to ask them to check both as a matter of routine when I’m examined. Just waiting for 8 am when I can call the GP. My next oncology appointment is 19/12.

I am about to enter into my post chemo weekend of feeling awful because had chemo on Wednesday and I usually start to feel crap from Friday night to about Monday/Tuesday. Don’t feel like going out especially to GP surgery but needs must!

Xx

Gee whizz Cancer is so time consuming! I don't have time for this shit currently sat waiting for a blood test as part of my pre op assessment for having the port fitted (in itself a day long procedure!!) and due to having nodes removed on both sides she doesn't know where to take the blood from so has WhatsApped a colleague 😆 I'm back out in the waiting room until she gets an answer... I cannot afford all this time off I've got hospital car parking to pay for 😩

Hi KBG

What a pain. You'd think it would be quite a common situation that they would come across wouldn't you?

I know what you mean about it being so time consuming. My GP appointment is 11.20 am so just tried to distract myself doing some accounting stuff at home.

Noodles It must be really hard going through this with your ex being less than helpful. Sorry to hear about your Aunty - at least they might have caught it early via the mammogram and she might not need chemo? But as we all know it's difficult to get your head round.

xx

I hope they've got some blood out by now KBG and the port should

She took it out of my hand. Not looking forward to repeating that over the next 4 months! Anyway all done for now. Mentally I am shot but need to try and knuckle down to my work - hats off to all the rest of you who are keeping all the plates spinning! Here's to a chilled weekend all round

I can't stop crying today. Everything is setting me off. I think like other lone parents on here I just find it so hard sometimes. Having to be constantly positive and calm is fucking exhausting.

I've got a lovely weekend ahead though, DD1 coming home for a couple of days, tree buying and decorating...

MrsT that is crap all round. How is your DH coping? Pandora sorry you're having trouble breathing and that your treatment has been extended. Leslie how are you doing? Have you managed a shower? Purple how are you? Waving to Noodles (hope your DD has a lovely birthday) iVampire Addled aimlessly ranout and everyone else.

I'm off for short walk in the sun to blow the cobwebs away.

noodles I got a couple of bras from M&S post surgery section, not because I needed the pocket for the prosthesis, but because they were front fastening, well cut, lined with nice soft material, and you get the VAT off so they weren’t too pricy! I have one plain white style which I bought in a couple of sizes bigger than my usual for immediately post op, and another one that is black with pink piping which is actually a post surgery sports bra (high impact, haha - I can only dream of doing hi impact sports right now ), which I’ve been pretty much living in day and night for the past couple of weeks. Its a size smaller than the white one as the swelling went down quite quickly, and I’ve found I really like the firm support at night so I don’t feel like my sore new boob is in danger of flopping around!! They were about £20 each, I’ll see if I can find links. They also have a one month to return policy so if you keep the tags on you can return if the fit isn’t right (it’s hard to know how much swelling you will have, so sizing up is a bit of a guessing game!).

The immediate post surgery bra: www.marksandspencer.com/post-surgery-non-wired-full-cup-bra-b-g/p/p60164404?image=SD_02_T33_1894_Z0_X_EC_90&color=WHITE&prevPage=plp&pdpredirect

The sports bra: www.marksandspencer.com/post-surgery-extra-high-impact-zip-front-non-wired-sports-bra-a-g/p/p22475733?image=SD_2_T33_1888_Y4_X_EC_90&color=BLACKMIX&prevPage=plp

I must say I’m impressed with both of them - comfy and supportive, and they don’t look bad under clothes either imo

Noodles I have been wearing my normal bras without a pocket - I just stuff the softie boob in! I have found my moulded sports bra the best option as it disguises the fact my boobs are no longer a matching pair. I can't buy bras in 'normal shops' but have noticed that M&S seem to have a really good selection. Also try Debenhams online?

Thinking of you all, especially Leslie, Mrs, TQ, and others having a tough time at the moment... even tho I don’t post very often I read the thread every day and am thinking of you.

Hi All

Went to see GP early and was seen early. She's examined me and is confident there is no lump so no need for referral. I burst into tears in the car park with relief. Learning point for me is every time I am examined at the hospital I am going to ask them to check both breasts to be sure. Thanks all for all the handholding and support. I know I've said it before but I honestly don't know what I'd do without all of you on here .

TQ - my husband has been brilliant. I am very lucky from that point of view. He is downstairs now watching an old episode of "Only Fools and Horses" for a bit of light relief.

I can now just get on with the usual post chemo feeling crap weekend without additional worry about the other breast.

Hope everyone else manages to do something nice this weekend.

xx