CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 66 for those with cancer or awaiting cancer test results. Rant, rave, laugh, cry, joke, scream - whatever gets you through the day.

[TwitterQueen1]

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you have a loved one with cancer you can get support on a different thread here

For old and new posters it's very helpful if you (re)introduce yourself in your first post with a summary of your diagnosis (chemo brain is a real thing and my memory isn't what it used to be!).

Hey @smurfy2015 you're welcome here for as long as you need to be (hopefully not for long). I haven't been here long but the ladies are ace and much more knowledgeable than me

Welcome smurfy2015 I hope you get some answers soon and that it's not cancer sorry I have no useful experience. Good luck with the urine collection.

Tayto how are you doing?

TQ I'm glad you didn't need to get undressed sorry the fucker has made an appearance on the latest scan.

I don't think George was in Chicago Hope, just ER. Tbh I find him annoying

@KeepCalm thank you.

Welcome smurfy2015 and voxnihili - sorry you find yourselves here, though,

I prefer St Elsewhere (and NCIS) - want to guess why?

Appointment today seemed like a waste of time. Cyst continues to look unthreatening - but continuing surveillance recommended (no explanation why). Complete uninterest in deranged poo (fair enough for most people, but not what I expected of a colorectal registrar). Said I had to talk to haem team to see if I should be referred for colonoscopy. Couldn’t/wouldn’t say what they would be looking to exclude if they did further tests.

I was just left with a feeling of WTF did you get your (lovely) specialist nurse to call me out of the blue to make this appointment? (Wish I’d asked in those terms - oh the benefit of hindsight).

Oh, and if I hadn’t been reading the screen over her shoulder, I wouldn’t have known I have a gallstone. It’s not often one comes across a doctor you think us a bit lacking, but today I did.

I will have to think of a tactful way to put this across when I see the haematologists next week

smurfy welcome. What a muddle. It doesn’t seem like anyone is taking overall responsibility for your care which must be a bit scary. Hope you get a proper answer very soon

iVampire my colorectal team are big into poo! Loads of poo chat! I’m going to have to find some tact to talk about the registrar I had last clinic (and the one before). It’s tricky because I’m so much not the type to complain about a hcp.

Hi everyone,

Am just catching up with the thread as have had a week of appointments, visitors and complete exhaustion it feels. My low mood hasn't picked up much until yesterday when I had an US scan and my node looks to be back at normal size again and if there wasn't a marker in my tumour the lady doing the scan wouldn't have found it, so that is a relief. Plus my fear of it growing now chemo has stopped has been laid to rest!

Sorry to read you've been to hospital again Leslie, purple and symphony glad you are out and on the mend (although the nasal prongs sound horrendous & like a medieval torture device. I had my pre op appt today and the nurse did MRSA swabs from my nose which was bad enough as my nose has been a bit bloody on & off since I had the docetaxel so nasal prongs sound awful!)

keep calm it sounds like your body is telling you that you need to sleep. Tiredness hits me like a bus some days and others I seem to have lots of energy (less of those lately sadly!!)

I had my herceptin injection last week. The actual injection was fine, a bit stingy like getting lemon juice in a paper cut, but ok. My leg (about 3 inches away from the injection site) was agony like I had been given a dead leg that night, but the next day it gradually got better & was fine by the afternoon. No major side effects though, just a wee bit of a dicky tum, but doable.

TQ the comments about your undies reminds me of at my first breast clinic, I wore what I thought was a reasonable bra, but as soon as I had to get undressed I realised how ropey it looked, so went out and bought new ones for following appts! Glad things look to be moving with your trial.

ranout glad you got on well with the surgeon. Your thought process sounds good regarding whether to have a reconstruction. What sort of tattoo are you thinking of getting? I saw a program on BBC I player about a lady who got a tattoo following a mastectomy to hide the scars and I thought then it was a good idea (it was before I was diagnosed that I saw it)

Glad you sound to be doing well after your op fuzzy
I tried to find a front fastening non wired bra today and failed miserably. I'd better get a wiggle on as my surgery is 11th Dec.

Hello to all the new people on the thread, sorry you are here and waiting is def the worst bit. Sorry I cannot scroll back to see names or I will lose what I have typed.

I am getting ready for my daughters 8th birthday on Friday. She has opted for a trip into London with her sister and me at the weekend to visit Hamleys and have a mooch/lunch rather than a party. I am relieved as not feeling like organising a party and a sleepover of her friends is out for now as I struggle to keep my eyes open in the evenings at the mo, so probably best to not be responsible for extra kids overnight!

Anyway, on that note, it is past my bedtime. Sorry to anyone I have missed. Waves & hello to all xx

Gah I can’t sleep. Blimmin’ steroids and worry about chemo tomorrow. It’s my usual worry that for some reason it won’t happen crossed with hating the side effects if it does- mainly from the injections.

I have 2 questions for those with or who have had cervical cancer, ovarian cancer or uterine cancer please.

1. When you first suspected something was wrong did you get told it was likely to be a hormonal imbalance but then later find out after scans/blood tests etc.. that it wasn't?
2. What were your symptoms?

Not sleeping here either. Just obsessing about my impending death I feel like a drama llama.

My bladder is misbehaving so still feels like I need a wee. So annoying. Plus then I wonder if that's another sign of my body giving up.

Fuck off, cancer.

noodles good news about your ultrasound :) the London birthday trip sounds good. Sorry you're so exhausted, and about the sore nose!

I'm used to the prongs now. Just fed up of being dependent on a machine. Well, I can breathe without it, but not as easily.

iVampire sorry that your appointment was so underwhelming! I suppose it's good they're not worried, but a definitive answer would be nice, I'm sure :)

Mrstraveller I hope you've managed to nod off now. It's weird simultaneously wanting the chemo and knowing it'll make you feel grim. So often with cancer the treatment feels worse than the actual illness! bit of a headfuck really.

Hello, may i join? Newly diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, although a few tests to go in order to determine treatment plan, won't know that until December.

Is it strange to feel relieved that you finally know and can now get ready for a fight?

Welcome Fluffy, but sorry you've had to join us. Good luck with the rest of your tests. I think the feeling of relief is totally normal. Not knowing what's happening is very stressful, and allows the imagination to run amok

Thank you whatwouldleslieknopedo, it's nice to know it's a normal reaction i was starting to doubt myself and others thought it was an odd reaction to have but you really do have something concrete to get you head around at last

Yes, exactly. Know your enemy. That sort of thing. Until you have a diagnosis it could be anything and I think that's a lot harder to cope with, even when it's not the best news it could be. Ignore the other people. It's not happening to them so they don't get to decide how you should behave :)

Feeling similar to you Leslie

I haven’t posted on here for a while as the chemo was making me feel so ill and didn’t want to post that I felt like shit and wasn’t leaving my bed again. Have been following thread though.

Was supposed to have forth cycle of chemo last week but Dr said I wasn’t well enough to have it. Plus tumour markers were up so he brought my planned CT scan forward. The chemo was of no benefit - Cancer on liver and in abdomen has grown by a third in the last 12 weeks and it’s now on my lungs. He says there’s nothing further to be done and I have months to live. It’s unlikely I’ll live another year.
Being referred to palliative care team.
I’m ok but apart from one very sensible friend everyone else has cried at the news which isn’t terribly helpful. I bumped in to a friend in the supermarket this afternoon and she asked how today went. Well, we must have looked a right pair, her sobbing and me saying how sorry I was to give her such awful news and telling her not to upset herself at the end of the cheese aisle.

I asked how I would die and he said most likely a bowel obstruction and I won’t be able to eat or drink and will just shut down. So that’s not too bad. My Mum had an awful lingering death from cancer and was in awful pain and my Dad died from a stroke caused by a blood thinning injection. Neither had the opportunity to say goodbye and ‘Get their affairs in order’. At least I can do that.

Not sure how I feel really though. Maybe it’ll hit home tomorrow or in a week. I don’t know but I seem to be the only one that isn’t upset and I wonder if I’m somehow storing emotions away, if you see what I mean?

I’ve rambled on and God knows if any of it makes sense but wanted to let you know Leslie that you’re not alone in what you’re going through.

Take care x x

Fluffy totally normal reaction IME. Diagnosis is scary but actually much easier (for me) than all the uncertainty. People don’t get it but then why would they when they’ve not been here. Trust yourself and ignore them!

My boss thought it was odd when I said that I would be in work tomorrow/today but i need that normality, i'm still me just with a bloody awful diagnosis, in fact she thought it odd that i went back to work in the afternoon.

Bloody hell Aimless that’s rough. Obviously there are a good few of us heading there so you’re not alone in that sense but getting told that must be so hard.

Stupid question, but is there no other chemo they want to try?

I don’t know if you want to think like this or not but there are so many people whose prognosis is really out.

Sorry I don’t know what’s helpful to say, but I’m not sleeping either so keep posting if it helps at all

Fluffy if you can manage it, work is a great one for sanity saving.

Leslie drama llama my (cancerful) arse. You are so not dramatic. You’re dealing with so much.

I’m awake stressing about everything from cancer to work to friends to goodness knows what else. Had steroids at lunch time so might be that. Also asked for company post chemo for the first time and got let down so feeling very sad and self pitying. Ridiculously.

telling her not to upset herself at the end of the cheese aisle

PS aimless I love you for this quote. So much!

Aimlessly I'm so sorry. It's shit. I don't know what else to say. I hope that your palliative care team is as lovely as mine. They do make it all a bit easier to bear.

I think any reaction is "normal" really. It's a pretty surreal situation. It will probably start to sink in over the next few days/weeks.

How are your family coping with the news?