CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 66 for those with cancer or awaiting cancer test results. Rant, rave, laugh, cry, joke, scream - whatever gets you through the day.

[TwitterQueen1]

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you have a loved one with cancer you can get support on a different thread here

For old and new posters it's very helpful if you (re)introduce yourself in your first post with a summary of your diagnosis (chemo brain is a real thing and my memory isn't what it used to be!).

 to you as well @Tahitiitsamagicalplace thank goodness for this group! I'm sure it's one of the things keeping me sane!

TQ that's great news :) fingers crossed you'll be in one of the non-taxol groups. And good that you'd get the other drug when needed, even if not in that group. Also yay for Maggies. I hope DWP will get you the money ASAP.

to ranout and Tahiti and anyone else feeling shit.

purple I hope you are recovering well.

I'm feeling a tiny bit better today. One small step at a time! It's just a bit frustrating :) at least I seem to have stopped vomiting, touch wood.

Hugs to all who need them

Thanks TQ

Yes maybe I should be more pushy and tell people what support I need but it pretty much goes against every bone in my body!

Sorry posted too soon. Your trial sounds great. Is this one at Oxford or did I get muddled?

Yes Oxford - at the Churchill.

Oh ace I’m there ALL THE TIME! Well it feels like it anyway. I keep reminding my oncologist that I want to get on a trial. He says there are lots in the pipeline but I’m mega impatient.

Are you normally treated at the Churchill or is this new for you? My fav day treatment nurse has left but the rest are really lovely too.

for Namechange and TQ. I'm single too. Though I am very fortunate that I'm living back with my parents, so I get lots of support from them. It's not quite the same.

It's really tricky asking for support even when people have offered, but hopefully if you ask they will step up :) I know I would for any of my friends if I could, and I'm sure you would too!

Oh wow! does that mean we can maybe meet and have a coffee or something?! how exciting! I will be up every week from now on. I'll let you know which day when I know. I'm a CH newbie. I've been at Royal Berks for my other treatments though I did have my hysterectomy at the Churchill.

TQ that's brilliant news! I'm so pleased for you. Do they have a rough idea of when it will start?

Tahiti I found the chemo got easier they more I had, you won't always feel this rubbish

I still feel crap, I always seem to feel worse when I come out of hospital than when I go in. I think laying in a hospital bed for 8 days straight doesn't help.

I got my blue badge today so that should make hospital parking a bit easier

Leslie you are so right, I wouldn’t think twice about helping a friend- that’s the bit I’m comfortable with. It’s the asking for help that’s hard!

TQ YES to coffee for sure! That would be so lovely. Well the coffee not THAT lovely but the company.

Great news, TwitterQueen, I'm so pleased it's actually happening!

I think it might be winter drawing in, us all feeling so ropey...I have NEVER felt so tired (and I have a child who hasn't slept a full night in 18 years!).

Thank you to everyone that's replied, an still having my ass kicked today so am away to bed.

I promise I am trying to delegate however I am the sole director in charge of 16 staff for a cash flow, 7 days a week business.

When I was at the beginning of being diagnosed we were busy starting a brand relaunch with refurb etc and that project is still ongoing. My manager has just left for the holiday of a lifetime on the other side of the world and my other manager is getting married in a few wks. They're both amazing but they shouldn't have to worry about what's happening to me interfering with their lives.

DH is amazing and will step up where he can but already works extensive hours of his own (think emergency services type work) and helps massively with the 3 kids.

There isn't really anyone else to delegate to and whilst my friends are being amazing they don't know how to run my business or make sure we are fulfilling commitments.

I spoke with Macmillan but because am self employed I was passed to a business line. They essentially told me that as I don't have a business loan/overdraft or any lending OTHER than a directors loan to myself, they can't help. If my health deteriorates I should close or sell up.

I've worked so SO hard for this business. I've poured everything into it to provide a future for my kids etc and I'm just trying not to knee jerk react.
I've just missed out on an amazing opportunity for expansion and will now have to deal with another business opening in a competitive manner almost next door. We have a unique location and whilst I'm confident in our brand and products it WILL have an effect.

Today was spent with the book keeper making sure I haven't missed anything. The printer for all the final decisions re the new literature etc and answering messages. I haven't been 'hands on' in weeks and yet am still exhausted.

My wage bill has increased approx £2k a month due to my absence and had this not been a VAT month we'd have been ok.

I've spoken to the company we lease our business vehicle through and they've agreed to take it back. Without being able to fulfil business commitments it's too large so now I have to car shop too

The VAT phoned and announced an inspection in the new year and I essentially told them to f*ck off their timing was shocking and I wasn't in the mood 

I'll contact Macmillan again tomorrow to see if I'm owed any benefits but am kicking myself for not getting critical illness cover on my life insurance when I moved from being an employee to self employed 

Sorry. Moaning.

And pain killers not touching the side and am bunged. @BitOfFun did you mention something that helped with that? I can't remember.

Will jog off with my moaning now....

Laxido sachets, @KeepCalm. Very effective, IME. I'm so sorry you are going through all this stress and frustration.

Thanks everyone for the advice regarding herceptin. I was under the same impression mrstraveller but need to keep an eye out for side effects I guess. Fingers crossed they will be minimal if at all.

Good news TQ re trial & potential coffee meet ups!
I am on my own too namechange (but with small kids) and do sometimes feel a bit lonely about the situation (despite Mum & Dad staying frequently) but if the alternative was being back with my ex, I will take the being on my own gladly! I am also not pro-active at asking for help, but am getting better, I also find anyone I approach to be really happy to have something they can do to help. Most of my help has been practical offers of dog walks, childcare & coming to appointments as an extra pair of ears.

purple I was hoping to have another scan to see if the chemo has worked etc, it has been discussed and I was under the impression that an appt would be booked in and I would be advised thru the post at the last consultants appt (but this hasn't happened) I have another consultant appt on Mon, so will ask again.

I hope everyone's docetaxel aches and pains are wearing off. I just went back to bed with hot water bottles & dosed myself on either cocodamol or paracetamol and/or codeine depending on the dire rear situation. It is a grim feeling, I have had the spasmy muscles on each chemo as I have done the white blood cell injections each round (they started on the same day of each cycle too) my chemo nurse said it was due to the injections. I found knowing that helped, also knowing the worst of it would pass in a day or two helped too. Well that and painkillers!

Keepcalm that must be very frustrating regarding your business & a worry about keeping it going. Have you explored all the Macmillan advice on this? They have so many leaflets with advice on so many topics, there may be a helpful nugget or two in amongst them for you? Or citizens advice may be a good place to head to. Hopefully your first docetaxel will be the worst and then you will settle into the next ones. Is there an option for you to cut your hours at all? I hope you find a workable solution.

Glad you are improving Leslie slowly but surely. Always good not to be vomitting any more. I hope you continue to improve and start feeling more human again soon.

I am exhausted again, the tiredness has really caught up with me this time round. I was on my way to bed about 40 mins ago, but my neighbour knocked to take my dog out for a walk. They just got back, so am going to go up now. Night everyone x

Cross posted with you keepcalm that sounds stressful, sorry you have this to deal with on top of a cancer diagnosis.

I found eating plums helped btw

Phone is shite. Ended up in hospital this morning the pain and sickness was too much. Been on IV morphine and paracetamol and anti sickness. They're keeping me in and am having a ct tomorrow. I'm on the ward my DD works on but it's her day off today and tomorrow. All I know atm is that CA125 is raised as are my white blood cells. Wishing you all a bloody good nights sleep

Hey fuzzy hope you're home safely and tucked up in your own bed.

You may have figured this ahead of me but my top tip for Wednesday is to use spray deodorant during recovery - especially on the affected armpit!

Hope everyone else is ok, dipping back out now to get 🍷 before the Apprentice starts....

keepcalm I get it to an extent. I set up a business 3 years ago, we employ 15 people and have professional responsibilities, vulnerable clients etc. There are two of us who are the directors which helps a lot, but after 15 months of this shit I feel like the biggest burden. I haven’t needed any time off yet but I know things are going to get a lot worse and there doesn’t seem to be an answer other than letting the cancer take a thing that means so much to me. Oh and we were in the middle of arranging critical illness cover when I was diagnosed. Of course. So no answers but some and a hug.

Love to you, Cally- I hope you feel a bit better once the drugs have kicked in x

Morning ladies I'll read through properly later.
@KeepCalm you've probably already looked at this but is there anyway you can restructure your business so that it can get loans and then help? Even if the loans are paid off straight away? Would your employees be interested in buying in? You may not want them to. I'm also self employed but only have myself to worry about but I do a lot of work for small businesses so I understand your dilemmas to a certain extent.
I was also bunged up laxido worked then went the other way! Oh the joys of our bowels!

@bitoffun thanks. Will try grab those today.

@cally sorry to hear but fingers crossed you’re in the right place to get it sorted

@noodles am on my second docetaxel which has had a worse effect than my first. Or maybe I just ploughed through the first and an being a tad dramatic this time lol
Macmillan don’t really know how to help due to me being self employed. I’ve to phone back today and speak to a benefits advisor again...... in between buying some plums lol

@namechange so sorry this effects you too. It’s just shit isn’t it?! I haven’t taken any time off either as such, except for appointments but (and I sound like a twat here) I really AM the face of the business and because it’s in a small local town my face is rather well known. I just feel like am out on show all the time.

Am busting myself with the project works letting the staff get on with the day to day but I also worry if they believe I’m flagging they might look for work elsewhere.

I’m a fair & considerate employer with good wages, training etc and even through I can’t progress them in our company I make sure they get qualifications whilst with me in case they want to leave at some point.

I just don’t have business debts which is ironically all they could have helped with!!

Although phoning the bank today to arrange an overdraft for the first time ever.

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco I think I'd either need an investor or a buy out. We pay all the bills etc but we're only into profit this year so for them to invest and only get their salaries would seem pointless? I don't know enough about it but have a meeting with the big accountants next week to get some advice. I'm an accidental business owner. This was never the plan

Going to bed stupidly early and sleeping through has helped but I still feel a little numb/bulgy and sore

@noodles44 I've to have a scan beginning, middle and end so worthwhile chasing yours?

Is laxido the same as fybogel? Am on amazon lol

@KeepCalm your chemo team will prescribe laxido they did me and they also like to know about my side effects.
Definitely ask your accountant all the questions about your business it would be a shame if you couldn't get an investor?

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco my fabulous landlady wants to invest but that would be conditional on the expansion project which now seems no longer achievable unfortunately. It's a turn key business with brilliant reputation, location, good will and amazing staff so if it comes to a sale hopefully someone might want it!!?

Will phone chemo unit today