CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 65 - for anyone with cancer or waiting for cancer tests (pets welcome!)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Good morning everyone,

Welcome to the new thread, and the club that nobody wants to join. Our previous thread is here.

Anyone with any type of cancer is welcome. And we will hold your hand if you're waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer at all.

If you've got a loved one with cancer then you can get support here.

Please feel free to reintroduce yourself so we don't all have to remember from the previous thread!

Hi Simmi - I didn't have 15 months of chemo, but one of the cycles I was really really sick and had to be admitted - I felt unbearably awful and kept saying I couldn't carry on. I then spoke to several people, several of whom had had longer or worse chemo experiences, and that helped me to decide that if they managed it then I can too - Leslie would definitely have been one of those people. I don't know if that helps you at all?!

Also, the first cycle for me was also different to the others - I could barely walk as all my muscles were stiff and painful and I felt dreadful - didn't have that with the other cycles for some reason!

And to KeepCalm too - telling your kids is so hard but you are right - they always know something is up and others have said that when they were young and a parent was ill, being kept away from what was happening made them upset and angry. Just have loads of hugs and stay close

Oh keepcalm that must have been awful. I can’t imagine. No googling is great advice. 15 is such a difficult age. Does she have an aunt or Godmother or similar who can take her out for lunch in a few weeks to see if there is anything she wants to talk about outside of the immediate family?

Tahiti - Best of luck today! Update us when you can. .

KeepCalm - Am so sorry to read that you’ve just told your children. It is tough but somehow we muddle through. I don’t know if this will help but I found the phrase “Life with cancer is still life” very helpful and said that to DS3 and I think it helped him to stop thinking of cancer as a great big full stop.

Simmi - Sorry you’re feeling rough. As others have said just rest and relax as much as you need to.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Off for second chemo shortly. Not looking forward the bloody pins and needles again but hey ho.

Thank you guys.

Her godmother lives in Oz and we don't live near our families but we have spent our lives gathering and surrounding ourselves with brilliant people so hopefully she'll know she has people to talk to other than us x

@AimlesslyPurposeful I agree that's a great phrase indeed.

I just wish none of us had to open our front doors to this bastardised disease

Well done KeepCalm It's awful but they will feel better for knowing the truth. And it means you can hopefully relax a bit more too. If you feel rough you can just tell them and they will understand. No need for pretence or subterfuge.

Indeed @TwitterQueen1 DD1 is making me a playlist to listen to as I told her how awful the music was during the MRI

Keepcalm I found giving my son jobs to do around the house made him feel like he was helping me, it also kept him busy and took his mind off things a bit. He tends not to talk to me about cancer as he thinks it will upset me so if you've got someone that she's close to then she's much more likely to talk to them if anything's worrying her

That’s good advice Purple - Having someone to talk to other than a parent can be brilliant help. Also agree with TQ that not having to hide what’s going on should help you all relax.

DS3 is seeing a lovely lady organised through school. He sees her every two weeks and they talk about all sorts of things. It’s also great that there’s someone in school that knows what’s going on at home and always asks how he is when she sees him around the school. I like knowing he has a nice person supporting him. Also, she had cancer herself (She’s fine now) so can empathise and understand how dealing with cancer impacts a family.

KeepCalm - Do you know if there’s someone at your DCs school that either you or your children could talk to so that there’s someone on the premises that knows what’s going on at home and the DCs can talk to if they want to?

Aimless that's brilliant that she has someone at school to talk to and that the lady has had cancer herself (that bits not good obviously ) but she knows what it's like. It's definitely worth letting the school know if you have kids just so they can cut them a bit of slack if they do end up getting upset

How are you doing Noodles? I hope your toe nails are behaving themselves

Aimlessly I hope chemo number 2 is going OK

I can't add much to all the discussion about telling children, but I can only imagine how hard it must be so I'm sneaking in a quick group hug. Hopefully the MN police don't patrol here...

Thanks all for your advice. Luckily I don’t have 15 months of chemo (at least planned for now) it’s 6 months of chemo but 15 months of treatment all in all (chemo, surgery, injections, radiotherapy).

keepcalm sorry you and your family are going through this. Leslie has said exactly what I wanted to say but put it better than I could

Tahiti hope op goes well today

Simm1 - sorry you are having a tough time with the chemo.

Best wishes to all today.

Good afternoon lacies just a quick one.
@KeepCalm well done for telling the kids nearly 5 and 7 and the 7 year old knew something was up. Once told it was a bit horrid then I bribed with with tea at pizza express! My 7 year old goes to a group counselling session at school which she really enjoys and has pastoral care if she needs it. They really do bounce back. She loves snuggly in bed with me watching the iPad too when I'm tired.
@Simmi1 I echo @WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo If you can get some fresh air it does your the world of good. I've just had chemo number 3 today and am in bed now as I'm tired but (fingers crossed) I'll take the kids to school in the morning, potter then try and get some rest. It's hard finding a balance but you will get there.
Waves to everyone else, I'm off to watch some trashy tv!

Ranout - Can I ask what trashy tv you watch? The Real Housewives of New York is my dirty secret telly of choice.

Is your trashy as trashy as that?

@AimlesslyPurposeful I can't believe I'm admitting to this but I love any dodgy murder mystery! Poirot, Miss Marple, Death in paradise!
If my DD is here we watch Gilmore
Girls!
If I want some space I watch Harry Potter!

Currently in Marsden having flush after chemo and lady next to me and the man and women next to her are discussing the “Battle” terminology. Lady next to me has just told couple she doesn’t like the battle word and doesn’t feel like she’s fighting a battle.
Had to bite my lip not to say that I completely agree!
Was just a bit of a coincidence after the battling cancer thread that turned into a bit of a bunfight. I wish ‘that particular poster’ could have been privy to their conversation. Hearing a cancer patient connected to their drip at the time rather than just reading the words of strangers might have coaxed out some compassion and understanding.

Ranout - Miss Marple and Poirot aren’t trashy. They’re positively high brow compared to the vacuous nonsense I watch!

Pfft, thought I’d found a fellow trashy telly watcher, you imposter you!

@AimlesslyPurposeful I'm building up to joining you in the dark side of trashy viewing! I think I haven't managed to get into enough of a downtime routine and I pop the dodgy mysteries on as j know they'll send me to sleep on an afternoon!
Hope your not there too much longer. My lot were very efficient today. I can't believe how hard the nurses all work.
Totally agree with you about the battle, fight etc. Like I said to DH at the weekend, we don't have an option, this is just life as we know it.

Hi everyone, op went well. I have the coolest franken-scar. Rather sore now though!

Hope everyone has had good days. I'll go catch up

@AimlesslyPurposeful I've spoken to Dd1's guidance teacher already as she has exams starting in Nov. This is her first year of exams and these are her prelims so am going to try NOT to coincide. I'd already downloaded her actual exam timetable for April/May so as not to take on any big commitments at work but hopefully my treatment will be all done by then.

DD2 has just started high school so I need to track down her guidance teacher.

I've spoken to DD3's teacher as we had an opportune parents evening. She's only in P6 and is already like chicken little by nature so will just need to wait and see

Another Marple fan here! And some Sherlock too

@Tahitiitsamagicalplace glad to see you and to hear it went well x

Ranout that is definitely not trashy TV. I think me and Big Brother win this one, although I do like The Real Housewives too. I've even been known to watch the Kardashians

Glad it all went well Tahiti. Bio oil helps with scarring, although I'm quite proud of the few scars I have so I didn't bother with it