HPV - Partner gave it to me on purpose.

[thewinterqueen]

Hi ladies,

So my girlfriend has recently informed me that she has the HPV virus, but failed to mention it before we'd slept together. I suffer from bad endometriosis, so am going to an emergency doctors appointment today, but I feel awful. I feel like she should have told me, and that she's purposely deceived me. I'm torn between ending the relationship or not - thoughts?

Ermmm end it!! I’m sure that’s considered assault?

How can you not end it? She’s possibly infected you knowingly. No trust there

Aren’t 80% of people infected with it?
Rarer to find someone that doesn’t have it.
Doesn’t make it right but its so common.

Can I just check you definitely mean HPV?

Yes I do!

I thought most people had it too

You don’t need an emergency doctor’s appointment for suspected HPV.

Very odd that she’d tell you now. Did she recently find out or something?

I think most sexually active people have it

I'm sure most people have the HPV virus and the body can fight it, people who smoke find it takes longer to get rid of it, changing sexual partners often means your more likely to have the virus but it does go away over time. Has she recently had a smear and had to be referred to colposcopy, if so she would have found out there?

If she recently had a smear she may well have only just found out herself.

I had HPV which caused an qbnotnak smear but once that was tested the HPV went away on its own.

There are lots of strains and I think it is very common.

It's just the same as getting a cold. Most people have it and it comes and goes.

A very high number of sexually active adults will have HPV. It’s really hard to prevent catching it - condoms for example can reduce your risk of catching it, but won’t be 100% effective. It’s transmitted sexually but doesn’t require treatment in the way chlamydia would, for example, so you can’t really compare it to other STIs. In fact there is no treatment for HPV infection, only for the effects (some strains can cause genital warts, other strains are linked to cervical cancer).

I would also think it’s quite a leap to say that she gave it to you on purpose.

Please don't use an emergency GP appointment for this, you don't need it. You would be best to initially call the GUM Clinic and ask to speak to an advisor, they can explain more to you and advise if you need an appointment.

How long have you been with your partner, when did she find out?

Something like 80-90% of people who are sexually active have HPV, that's why smear tests are routine for everyone who is sexually active. I never had unprotected sex before I had an irregular smear so assume I contracted it regardless. (Ive never been told I have HPV by the way but assume it's a given considering the smears) Unless you're talking about genital warts, I think you're being unreasonable- my assumption is most sexually actively women will have HPV, all of us know people who've had irregular smears, it is v v common and not something it would occur to me to mention to a sexual partner.

Please don’t use an emergency doctors appointment for this! Pretty much all sexually active people will have been exposed to various strains of HPV, what are you worried about?

I don’t thinks something that could lead to cancer is a small thing. Please talk to someone with medical knowledge to answer your concerns.

It really is the common cold of sex. If you go out in public you will at some point catch a cold. If you have sex you will at some point have HPV. You can't prevent it, you can't cure it, you just catch it then your body clears it all by itself in due course. Honestly, you can't hold anything against anyone for your general HPV infection.

Oh yeah, don't forget your regular smart tests. That is all.

*SMEAR tests!

I don’t thinks something that could lead to cancer is a small thing

People aren’t saying don’t see a doctor, just not to use an emergency appointment. That’s totally inappropriate.

There are only a couple of strains of HPV associated with cancer. Many, many, many people are infected with HPV. It’s worth getting checked but this isn’t the same as having unprotected sex with someone with HIV.

She probably didn’t think it was much of a big deal. Pretty much everyone has it.

So if people get over it, why are they vaccinating children against it?

I definitely wouldn't use an emergency appointment for this as it's not an emergency at all!

It's very common and not usually something we even know about.

Only sexually active people who have unprotected sex with infected others catch it.

That's disgusting and a total breach of your trust.