Please help me persuade my husband to see the doctor

[Myhusbandisatwat]

My husband is being a typical man at the moment. For the past few months in the evening his stomach had been bloating, it becomes huge but goes down by the morning. I thought it was probably something he was eating until 4 weeks ago he spent a week in Crete.

Whilst he was there his ankles and feet swelled terribly, which he put down to mosquito bites. Since he returned he has had a persistant cough (it’s been nearly 3 weeks now, he has been getting breathless and he is so fatigued he is falling asleep in the evening and even feels too tired to have a beer!

The swelling in his legs has gone but his stomach is still bloating. I think he should see the Doctor, there is a very strong history of heart disease in his family, but he thinks it’s nothing to worry about. Am I being a knob or is it a no brainier he should get checked out?

No medical knowledge here but I would definitely get it checked out.

What's his argument against doing so?

In his opinion, it’s just a cold and he doesn’t want to waste anyone’s time. He has agreed today though the fatigue is a bit strange.

He should definitely go and get checked out. This is what doctors are there for. My dad was the typical 'i'm proud to have not seen a doctor for anything in 30 years' type of man. He had a lot of fatigue, aches and pains for a year. He ignored people to go and get it seen to. Roll forward a few months later and he gets diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He suffered tremendously with this until his death a few months later at the grand age of 61. If he had visited the doctor just a few months earlier then it could've been a different story altogether. He was begging to be admitted to hospital by the end (this is from a man that used to be fairly phobic of hospitals). Due to his early exit from this world he has now missed his son's weddings, a grandchild being born and now from meeting another grandchild (my first baby). Please just see the doctor, it's always worth it. Think of your family if you don't want to think of yourself.

Would he respond to a suggestion that you're genuinely concerned and the benefit of going would be to set your mind at rest?

My DH would do that, even if he thought it was fine.

Health care professionals do not see the symptoms you describe as time wasting. He needs to get checked out.

Anon138, my Dad was exactly the same, dismissed the skin cancer on his arm as just a spot, then when he developed a persistent dry cough, it was just a cough. He died riddled with cancer and it didn’t need to be like that. My husband knows this and is still being an arse!

He has several symptoms of heart failure. He needs to see a doctor.
As the NHS web site says "See your GP if you experience persistent or gradually worsening symptoms of heart failure. The symptoms can be caused by other, less serious conditions, so it's a good idea to get them checked out."

It sounds like he's scared. All you can do is encourage him gently to go. Or is there another family member that he might take more notice of?

I had a chronic cough, breathlessness, swollen ankles and fatigue for about 4 months before I gave in and saw my GP, at the insistence of my daughter. She immediately sent me for an x ray and the hospital called her the same day to tell her that I had pulmonary oedema, which is normally a sign of heart failure. I was given an urgent referral to cardiology, then respiratory, but thankfully, after many tests, both for my heart and my lungs, heart failure and major structural heart/lung problems were ruled out. The doctors were baffled to be honest. A few years down the line I've been diagnosed with a heart rhythm issue and slightly leaky valve, but nothing major. I take Furosemide to stop the pulmonary oedema, Verapamil for the rhythm problem and live a normal life, work full time etc.

He really needs to get checked out.

It sounds very much like heart issues. This is exactly what used to happen to my mum. She was retaining fluid -the swelling- and the cough was because of fluid on her chest. It was caused by a combination of a sticky heart valve, a lung problem and it caused high blood pressure which caused kidney problems. Vicious circle. However with good management by the hospital it was all usually kept in balance. Once it was out if balance she had to be hospitalised to sort it out. He must see the GP- I would go with him if I was you.

It does sound like heart issues and he sounds scared/in denial. Ring up and book him a same day appointment for him tomorrow am - you need to force the issue. If he refuses tell him you are going to take him to a and e instead.

Yes. Doctor.
Bloating is also a symptom of bowel cancer.

But I guess you can’t make him go

My dad had had several heart attacks previous to this but recovered. He started bloating just as you describe, getting out of breath and being fatigued. He required immediate heart surgery, a triple bypass and valve replacement. He was within days of not making it. Please, if not for his sake but for yours get him checked out.

Well he still won't go. He had bloods taken on Wednesday, he has them done once a year because he has high blood pressure and he did mention to the healthcare assistant that I was nagging him because of his symptoms, unfortunately she was not qualified to listen to his chest but did tell him to make an appointment to see his GP...he still won't go.

Oh how frustrating for you.

I wish I could think of something that would help...
Would he phone 111? Or accept that you will and take advice from them?

Liver problems can cause bloating and fatigue,is he a heavy drinker?
I hope you can get him to go to the Drs, men are typically like this
Maybe his blood tests will reveal what is wrong and the Dr might request he goes to see him