Quiet Corner. Misophonia thread #1

[DisgustedGusto]

A thread for those with misophonia who need to vent or have some quiet time away from the noise of the world.

I'm interested to know if anyone has had any treatment?

I've suffered all my life for as long as I can remember. I've never been violent but I've thrown crockery and left restaurants/moved seats.

Over the years I've found many strategies to cope hence not seeking treatment.

Also I have a lot of other sensory needs and I also have ADHD. I wonder how much is interconnected?

Welcome to our quiet thread. Thanks to @lolaflores for the suggestion.

Misophonia is horrible to live with and so this is our quiet place to unwind and off load about the situations that trigger us and the issues we face as a result.

Please be kind and supportive to each other

Lovely to join you in your peaceful corner. Ahhh Just had to leave the kitchen, due to idiotic and vigorous carving knife sharpening on a steel by husband. God it's one of my worst. Bring the silence on...

Noise has definitely become more of an issue for me these days, it is getting worse. I work in an office - things that give me the rage there are typing (particularly bad if they have false nails, shudder. Or on the train in the morning, tap tap tap on a laptop), and cereal munchers at desks (spoon on bowl noise). Luckily I can get away with only 2 days in the office. That and earphones are my saviours.

Also struggle with noisy eaters - my insides churn over when I hear that. I leave fingernail marks in my palms sometimes. I want to run, take flight. Fountains can be a problem too. Sometimes even water sloshing around in an iron is difficult too. Feet in flip flops. My DH watches the major golf championships on tv - the sound of the spectators clapping in a muted way makes me leave the room. So many things, not sure what the answer is, live as a hermit perhaps. It is a strange problem to have, that’s for sure.

My husband has it. I try really hard not to trigger it for him, but it so hard sometimes. His sensitivity seems to come and go a bit- so things that can be ok one day drive him insane another.
He doesn’t have any other diagnosis (apart from depression)- but I think he would get add/ adhd diagnosis if he persued it.
Anyone tried any auditory training strategies?

Thanks for starting the thread btw @ DisgustedGusto

This condition has controlled my life for as long as I can remember. Glad to find likeminded people. I also get triggered visually, such as when my husband is typing on his smartphone.

On a different note, does anybody else get ASMR as well?

Hello! Tonight had to leave the table, as I do pretty much every night for my family to finish eating dinner, I'm a fast eater & if I have to sit there and listen to them eat it'll send me over the edge!

I also have ADHD (or rather primarily inattentive ADD, very late diagnosis at 45 and recently started medication), I've read previously that there is a link between ADHD and misophonia but am interested to find out more.

Also on the many misophonia related threads I've read on here over the years there is always someone who says 'oh but everyone finds loud eating gross' or similar. It is very hard to describe the visceral, whole body rage or 'stabbiness' reaction as I think of it, that the sound of eating (& various other sounds - sniffing, jaw clicking etc) causes.

It is so different and so much more than 'gross' but seemingly impossible to get across to someone who doesn't experience it. I imagine (having never been depressed) that it is a similar lack of understanding shown to people who are depressed who hear 'oh but everyone gets sad sometimes', just not the same IYSWIM.

I've had misophonia since I was a small child. I used to get very angry, couldn't eat with my family unless the radio/TV was on loudly, couldn't bear to be around my father eating etc. I manage to control it slightly better now, but DH eating crisps sounds like he's been down to B&Q and is chowing down on a sack of gravel

I also have severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Not sure if there's a connection.

Hiya. Saw your first thread and followed the link to here. I'm the same. It's getting worse in that I used to only be triggered (I do think it's a valid use of the word in this context given the visceral reactions as a PP mentioned) by open-mouthed eating, talking while their mouth is full, etc, but now I'm struggling with my poor DP eating normally with his mouth closed. I have to have earphones in at mealtimes or leave the room altogether. It's like the brain focuses on that noise and that noise alone, even as I say when it really is what would otherwise be an unobtrusive noise. I've actually barred one person from eating at my home any more because he really does eat in a horrible manner, to the extent that I think anyone without misophonia would be nauseated by it.

On a different note, does anybody else get ASMR as well?

I used to at primary school when our teacher would read us a story.

Hello everyone.
What a turn out!
This is such a great place to be and I am so happy we are all in it together.
If anyone can come up with some strategies and if we could all have a try then report our experiences, I for one would be immensely grateful.

During the week my life is very quiet and measured but come the weekend and especially in the summer, I can't seem to find any peace. The ambient noise (is that a thing) from all the neighbouring gardens becomes a wall of sound. I get up early and use the garden before anyone else is around then retreat indoors around midday.

I said on the other thread that I was trying to desensetize myself by putting myself in situations that I would avoid like the plauge. i.e. busy resteraunts, crowds and confined areas and try to breath my way through the stress. It worked to an extent in as much as I stayed where I was and didn't just run away but it was physically overwhelming. It might be that I bit off more than I could chew and I need to lower the bar a little.

It does beg the question if there is any way of not being like this. I doj't understand people who go to big festivals for days on end. Or music concerts. Up until 11 years ago, I commuted on the tube everyday but it would be too much for me now.
Are any of you losing out on life because of this?

@lolaflores "Are any of you losing out on life because of this?"

this is a tough one. Generally I would say no because I hate the kind of places you describe.

but also, I did want to see Taylor Swift live and it's a total no no as I would have sensory overload just walking to the stadium,

then there are places I'd like to visit but the train journey would make it a wasted day - so we'd have to overnight and that's too expensive.

Generally I have found that living as quietly as possible makes me much better. I missed a friend's 50th recently - I lied and said I had a prior engagement - but it was because I had to spend a large chunk of my non work time in hospital with my dad, so by the time Saturday came I just couldn't manage as I maxed out on sensory overload in the hospital frankly.

I have the odd diazepam from the doctor for sleep and I'm sure I could manage some of these things better with a pill but it's so impossible to get them, I save them for the nights I am still awake at 4!

If I had free choice, I'd live somewhere quiet with nice walks - which I will after I retire - and never venture into the town at all.

I still commute on the Tube nearly daily - you know spoons theory? That's half my spoons gone immediately.

Explain the spoons?
We visited family who live in the middle of Leicestershire. The silence and stillness was so calming and it felt like all my muscles untwisted.

Sorry to hear your dad is in hospital. That sounds very draining.
Would it be so awful to cancel something and just say....i really haven't got the capacity to sit in a busy bar or reztetaunt.?
Rather than make up a fib and then feel bad?
I wish I had been more honest on Saturday but I felt embarrassed at how wet I sounded.
Everyone k ow about my MH but I get the impression no one wants to get up close to it. Acknowledge it.
So I would rather hide

Very long explanation of the Spoon Theory
butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

if you google you will get shorter ones!

re telling people the truth - I have found that results in endless questions about whether my anxiety/depression treatment is enough etc and it really annoys me. Also with acquaintances, they don't know.

I've actually talked about it on here and interestingly a few people ranted not understanding, then after I explained to them they said, oh actually a little white lie is easier.

in the case of my friend's 50th, she's a long standing friend but I haven't seen her for two years. If she had an emergency or an illness would I help? Sure. But I can't see the point of using all my spoons to sit in a bar talking to her friends because you never see the person whose party it is anyway. Plus it would be central London, so allow hour's travel and back. Just pointless.

I've known her for 25+ years and she doesn't know I have A&D, I don't bring it up. The close inner circle know, but there's no point explaining it to others i find.

Also, one thing I think happens if you live in London is there's a kind of lifestyle expectation, whereas we are only still here because of family stuff and job stuff. When that's done, it will be straight off somewhere quiet.

what i have also found is that if I explain myself to people, one of the first questions is "why are you still living in London" and when I remind them there's work and family to consider, they suggest moving somewhere with an expensive 2 hour commute each way.

Honestly, I sometimes think people just talk shite to fill the air time. Another reason to stay home

I'm so glad to find this thread! My main trigger is whistling but eating noises and seeing people eat or talk with their mouths full also sets me off. For as long as I can remember, I've been affected by the whistling thing. My dad whistles constantly and as a very small child, I would clamp my hands over my ears and scream at him to stop but 40 years on, he still doesn't get it. I have left buses and trains when someone starts whistling - it's impossible to explain the reaction, like the sound gets into every bone in my body and reverberates painfully causing a full on red mist to descend and I need to get away from the situation otherwise I will completely lose control.

The deciding factor in me leaving my last job was the fact that the person with whom I shared an office - a new hire - would crunch and nibble 4 full size raw carrots and one apple every day, punctuated by the glug glug glug of her water bottle. She would also talk to me whilst doing this, spraying apple at me (boak). I tried to talk to her but she got offended. I'm now in a situation where one of my team whistles while he works - all day, everyday. I've asked his line manager to have a word as it is disruptive but they both say that nobody else has complained. I am his manager's manager and could pull rank but it seems so petty even though I can't concentrate on my own work and am often close to tears due to the sound.

It makes me sound quite mad but I am relatively normal other than this issue. At home, my DH has realised that he cannot eat cereal when I'm around - that spoken scraping the bowl, milk dripping back and milky chomping sound makes me lose my temper. He pretty much sees it as a quirk and applies a give and take logic to things but at work or on public transport etc, it's not so easy.

I have had misophonia since I was a small child. I'm quite surprised how many fellow sufferers also have ADHD, as I was dx about 2 years ago.

My triggers are coughing, sniffing and eating. Even the sound of somebody opening a packet of crisps starts a reaction, as does that horrible rustling when people eat popcorn at the cinema. A more recent one is the glug of water as nobody seems to be able to go 5 minutes without having to swig from a water bottle these days, even in meetings. Then you get that plastic crinkling noise as the air leaves the bottle.

I do get fed up when people brush it off as "everyone gets irritated by noisy eaters". It is an actual fight or flight reaction; a huge adrenaline dump, not just something I can ignore.

My consultant recently started me on dexamphetamine for the ADHD and it has turned off a lot of the noise around me. I used to be able to hear every conversation around me at the same level but since starting the meds I can now tune it out to a dull hum instead.

I also get the visual one too, but only when somebody is texting. Not all people but when somebody texts with both hands, with their thumbs flapping rapidly, I want to strike the phone out of their hand. As I type I realise how bonkers that sounds. There is no noise involved, it’s the fastness and it just looks wrong. I didn’t connect that with the noise hatred but it makes sense.

Badly fitting dentures.
Makes me feel ill every time they clack and click.

One reason I don't enjoy the summer is that there is so much more noise as everyone is out later. Tjere seems to be no escape some days.

I've come to the conclusion I just can't eat in public anymore unless I can completely focus on my plate and nothing else m. My ex used to scrape his fork against his teeth to get the food off instead of using his lips like a ducking normal person.
My mum cuts up her food and scrapes the cut up piece off her fork with her knife instead of just eating it and I can't bear it. Cut one piece, put it in your mouth and eat it, cut another piece then repeat. Don't cut it into several pieces before eating it ffs. She holds her knife like a pen too and I get the rage. Sometimes I wonder where I learnt my table manners I couldn't eat with my dad. He's been dead a few years now but I just couldn't do it. I feel bad about that now but it was awful. My stbexh was disgusting too and always got food round his mouth and I could hear his teeth chewing. Not just the food sounds but tooth on tooth and I'd want to throw my plate at him. My daughter now has similar sounds and I'm struggling to eat with her. Poor kid.

Another thing that gave me the rage was my stbexh drinking hot drinks the way he did. He'd take a sip, lower the cup to chin level, raise it back to his mouth take a sip, lower, raise. Argh!!! Drove me fucking nuts. I hated everything about his mouth. In fact mouths make me feel sick in general. Unless it's a baby.

I realise mine is much worse when I'm tired or stressed...not shocked by this just a realisation.

My DH just had a Magnum - it sounded like it was made from sheet metal the amount of noise he made & the fucking performance of it all, licking & sucking & swallowing,arrggggh, it took all my strength to not just grab it off him & go & stuff it in the bin or smack him round the head with it..

Television adverts with eating sounds are one of the things that really get me - that one with the very sweet deaf girl eating fishfingers (aldi/Lidl?) which is just pure mouth sounds. My family laugh when I suddenly realise it’s that one or a Walkers advert & have to run out of the room with my fingers in my ears (not funny for me )

Noisy squelching kissing scenes on tv and film. Horrendous.

I have a work colleague who makes more noise than is humanly possible when eating. One time she bought some sort of noodle soup at lunchtime and the noise was disgusting and astonishing. It was so noisy that a young temp on work experience who was sitting on another bank of desks turned around, stood up to see what the noise was. His face was a picture. I lasted a few minutes and went and sat in an empty room until I thought it was safe to return. We now hotdesk so I have a little mental list of who is okay to sit near. I try to avoid the noisy types and the loud masticators!

Hello. Thank you for the thread, Disgusted.
I think I've had this for as long as I can remember, and my dad definitely has it. As for many, eating noises are the big one for me, but certain keyboard taps and breathing noises also send me loopy.

I have a question:
Does anyone else find the eating noises one is partly dependent on who's making the noise? For example, the noise made by DH drives me up the wall far more than for other, noisier, people. I find this weird because I love him very much and don't otherwise find him an irritant. The kids' noises are much easier to bear, although the older the child gets (and so the more my subconscious perceives it as "deliberate"??) the harder it gets. Anyone?