Quiet Corner. Misophonia thread #1

[DisgustedGusto]

A thread for those with misophonia who need to vent or have some quiet time away from the noise of the world.

Btw is anyone with a partner who doesn't trigger them at all?

I had one once. It was magical.

Tryingtogetitright, just saw your update. Oh my goodness this whole situation is so unfair on you. The most frustrating thing is that you are so exceptionally kind and willing to do whatever it takes to not trigger. He must appreciate your efforts very much, even though it may not seem like it at times. I think it may be much harder for the loved ones who have to put up with this than the sufferer themselves .

Noise cancelling headphones are a great idea for a bday present and can be a life changer. Depending on your budget as these are quite pricey, Bose QuietComforts and Sony MDR1000X are the leaders in this field.

Agree with everything on this thread. My mother is my worst trigger - I can't even see her jaw muscles moving from the corner of my eye. Even that makes my andrenaline spike. Weirdly, i'm fine with DP but do have other assorted people who trigger me. Some people are fine - my boss could eat a four course meal in front of me and it wouldn't bother me. But strangers generally make me murderous. Nothing worse than being on a train with some random who's making their way through a family bag of doritos

I also can't stand whispering. Those videos of French people whispering that are supposed to relax you make me want to rip my own skin off. And kissing noises on TV, close ups of mouths eating in adverts. Argh!

I'd love to know what causes it.

No, I don't usually say misophonia, heartshaped. I found that just saying I can't concentrate goes over better. I play white noise apps and that works wonders - I can still hear Captain Sniffy a little bit, but somehow against a background of thunderstorms or waves in my ear'oles, it doesn't trigger the anger. Or one earplug in the ear facing him (the chief offender) blocks it out enough to stop me reacting.

I read somewhere that the cause is basically a misfired evolutionary trait - that we misphonics were the ones who kept the tribe alive by reacting to every little noise and alerting everyone when it was a sabre tooth tiger or the next door tribe looking for a fight! It might be bobbins, but I quite liked it.

Yes!!!! We're like meerkats in disguise... always alert to potential danger .

Oh the old earplug in one ear trick - it's a classic. And when you get to a meeting and a sniffer sits next to you and slowly take it out of the pocket, nonchalantly put your hand to your ear...and slowly push it in hoping the whole room hasn't noticed you inserting a big yellow piece of foam into your ear canal.

Sorry one more thing (am embarrassed at how much i'm posting compared to others 🙈).

YourVagesty - yes to the Mum thing. The jaw movements, the everything. As we know it starts when we're young at this focal point and they become the equivalent of the mother spider in Arachnophbia. And because you don't know at the beginning 'what it is' you can't vocalise it properly and feel embarrassed and don't want to embarrass them so you don't address it in the right, most clear way. They just know you have a 'weird' thing about noise /movements, but don't realise the seriousness.

Then decades later you still feel the same, but if you say it now then they would know that you've been thinking this whole time.

Does she know about your misophonia? And if she does, does she 'really' know?

Hi HeartShaped, she does know but I don't think she know's that it's a thing, only that it winds me up. Her knowing was unavoidable when I lived at home because if she'd sit next to me on the sofa to eat something, I'd have to curl my body up and block my line of vision with my knees etc. I still can't sit in the same room as her eating. I dread Christmas because I have to sit at the table with her and a few others who drive me nuts.

It's horrible and I wish I could get to the bottom of it. I read last night (I was inspired by this thread so went off a-googling) that misophonia tends to present with OCD and/or eating disorders. Both apply to me and I've had OCD since I can remember. It's not very useful to know that but it is interesting.

I'm just trying to think how to describe it and it actually feels like my body is being invaded. It's so invasive and traumatic.

My mother masticatimg ryvita and cottage cheese make a me physically sick. She speaks and eats. She used to eat from the saucepan at the cooker rather than sit at the table with us. I never understood that.
Then when she had grazed on every left over, would rub her stomach and tell us she wanted to vomit.
And they wonder why I am as I am.
My sister can't stand eating either and sleeps with ear plugs.

I got the rage this morning when I woke up, goddamn cheeping birds outside my window, anyone else annoyed by birds?

I would just LOVE some peace and total quiet for a while.

Not birds.
But the jack hammer and chainsaw that are going full tilt up the road are almost reducing me to tears.
This is the quietest part of the day in the garden till the kids come home from school and anarchy reigns till 8pm.
I generally spend the afternoon at the front of the house doing other stuff with the radio on to try and cover up the screaming, the thump of a football repeatedly on a garage side, the man with the pressure hose that he likes to use of an evening for 40 mins.
I want to live up a mountain right now.

Lola - I identify with that. Although I do believe that there is a physiological basis for misophonia, I think bad eating modelling comes into it to, especially when it involves your parents.

My mum has a victim complex and like to make people feel sorry for her by making them responsible for denying her food. For example:

1. If my stepdad asked her to do something just before dinner she'd very abruptly say something to do the effect of 'well I won't eat my dinner then!' and then if he'd tell her to stay and eat it, she'd be all 'no, no, forget it', and promptly put it in the bin and also, ruin the rest of the evening.
2. If you ordered a takeaway and it had an easily removable ingredient on it that she didn't like. Same response as above etc. No gratefulness, nothing, just 'feel sorry for me'.

She likes to get sympathy for depriving herself of food, especially if she can blame it on somebody. However, if there's nobody around watching, she'll gorge on loads of junk food. It used to give me the rage as a teenager because of how attention seeking it all was. There was no deprivation going on at all, just her using food to control others.

I'm finding the range of triggers really interesting. Birds, chainsaws etc don't really get to me. The latter can be annoying, especially if I get woken up early in the morning but it doesn't give me the rage. My misphonia is definitely confined to eating/mouth sounds only.

My father is staying with us at the moment and I am really struggling. His eating habits are horrific - constant slurping and lip smacking, usually with food dribbling out the side of his mouth. He has a way of drinking tea; he seems to not quite bring the mug fully to his mouth by slurp and hoover it from a distance. I feel itchy and hot all over just thinking about it. I cannot sit opposite him at the dining table and often have to leave the room when he eats or drinks, which is causing major arguments.

Yy also to the person who mentioned kissing noises. I also find the asmr discussion interesting as I am definitely triggered by many things and love the sensation. My particular triggers involve close personal attention (medical setting, make up or spa role plays etc) but when given in a soft but firm voice. So many asmr videos are whispered and this sets off my misophonia. I hate it when I search and find a video that sounds amazing but then the person pops up with a whispery, breathy voice.

It's so hard to explain to other people because they think you're making a fuss about nothing but it's a completely physical feeling, like your whole body is cringing. I have to make my hands into fists to stop myself from swatting at the offending person!

I've had a problem with my eye recently and the doctor had to stand so close to me when he was examining it and I was so aware of his breathing it started to freak me out and I got a bit panicky. He made a note that I was of a nervous disposition!

@flyingarcher , sympathies, and nice to be identified with so completely!

I've been wondering if there's a flipside to this: does anyone else have a near obsessive love of certain sounds, too? There's a particular type of page crackle (very specific type of paper) I respond to like it's a delicious food, and could (do sometimes) listen to over and over and over again....

Oh yes Mike that's true. I love the sound of scissors when I'm getting a haircut. Love the sound of the sea as well, so relaxing.

I have a close relative who has struggled along with asthma/copd for years and refused to get any medical attention due to weirdness about doctors.

Constant huffing, puffing, wheezing, coughing, noisy deep breaths where you can hear and notice every single breath they take from across the room. I knew I couldn't be horrible about it but my stomach would tighten up and I'd be near to tears and wanting to gouge my eyes out from hearing them. Whatever I would be trying to do or think about, each breath from them would grab my attention in the way someone yelling my name would. It felt like the sound was travelling down each nerve in my body like nails on a blackboard and I just couldn't escape it without being rude and walking away. What I wanted to do was run away screaming Thankfully they've faced their fears and got treatment so are a lot better now.

Actually having small children had helped immensely. They also make me feel like I'm losing my mind from the noise, but not all the time. I can sometimes calm myself down and let the dreadful sounds wash over me and it improves.

The fan in the car though When it's boiling hot and you want it on maximum but the noise of the fan is filling your brain so that it might burst. I drive my family mad having it on and off because I can't bear a long stretch of the air-con!

Do other peoples noise make anyone else want to yell at the top of their lungs? They do for me which seems slightly ironic. It's the stress and rage bubbling to the surface coming out as a desire to shout I think, but it seems so preposterous.

Pouring liquid is my particular hate, and its used in so many films and tv shows as "dramatic pause". You wouldnt believe how many drinks the people in Game Of Thrones need to pour while theyre having an ominous discussion of something! Oddly, things like water features where the noise is regular and constant are fine, nice even. Its something about the way it builds up and then trails off at the end in that final bloop blip blip that gives me RAGE. Kissing noises is becoming another one I've noticed - I just wince and pull away, I dont know who enjoys that slurping sound!

And then all the normal ones - keys and change being jingled in pockets, pens being clicked, noisy eating of crisps, tapping of fingernails, sniffing, and unnecessarily loud conversations. I also have the visual trigger of when someone is sitting jiggling their knee.

I spend a lot of time at work with in-ear headphones in I've always likened it to the sound equivalent of someone persistently poking your arm with their finger. You can try and not react to it but you cant ignore it.

Struggling today. In office. Packed out. They have crammed in loads of cheap formica type tables with cheap keyboards. The tip tap on the hollow surfaces is driving me nuts. Can still hear it even with headphones. Nice people but I feel complete rage. Not their fault, my problem but I feel so tense. My own typing is also enraging me and I have to do loads today. I am due on. I have found that my noise aversion is much worse then.

I get the pouring water thing too. I don’t watch Corrie anymore but that charcter Carla used to turn to the bottle regularly and the way she poured wine and then glugged it back made me hate her. Weird I know!

I find fountains an issue. I have mentioned before water slidhing in an iron.

Sloshing!

Oh I think this could be me, I’m very noise intolerant things like noisy eating drive me insane. I have four DC and my house is too noisy for me. I thought it was my fibromyalgia

Hello! I sympathise with so many posts on this thread.

As a child I rarely sat in same room as DM cos she chewed gum or glugged coffee constantly. (She also shakes leg as she sits which gives me the rage).

I struggle sleeping in same room as others. It was a major issue with ex who snored very loudly. Weirdly I can tolerate DS noises.

My latest problem is affecting me badly. I work in an office and they decided to play radio. I cannot concentrate on work and end every single day with headache. I've told manager I'm struggling but I think he just thinks I'm being a killjoy. Nightmare.

I've found my people!

I physically couldn't eat in the same room as exh. If I had to I had to ramp the volume up on the telly. The noises, not just crunching but the wet noises. The swallowing. I'd be consumed with rage.

Generally I avoid people who are eating and I can't be near chewing gum at all.