A glass of water - the self-optimisation thread

[pigmcpigface]

Let me start by saying this is an experiment, and I have no idea if it will work!

I made a thread called 'Shit, I'm obese'. It was about getting onto the scales and finding out that I was far more overweight than I had realised. A bunch of other Mumsnetters joined in, very sympathetically, to say they'd been through the same thing, but had lost weight and I shouldn't despair. Others posted that they were in the same place as I was, and that they wanted to lose weight too. Some said that they didn't have problems with weight loss, but they had other goals they wanted to reach.

This has just made me think- rather than having weight loss threads with a one-eyed focus on pounds and ounces, why don't we have a thread devoted to wellbeing more generally? That means fitness, healthy eating, happiness, self-development, and generally feeling comfortable and at peace with ourselves. It can mean learning to run or to do yoga, or fulfilling a life ambition, reaching a career goal, or getting a qualification. It might mean anything from tidying and sorting the house to huge emotional steps - leaving a bad relationship, or finding a good one.

It can, in fact, mean achieving ANY goal that is related to self-care and that can be reached by steady baby steps each day, with the help of a supportive bunch of people.

I also thought it would be good if we had a kind of "base" activity. This is a first step, but also something to do when things get overwhelming. When everything feels too much and you feel like giving up. When you're having a really bad day and are tempted to do something that doesn't care for yourself. It had to be something simple, straightforward, quick and accessible to most people, but that would be a tiny thing to look after yourself when the chips are down. So I settled on the idea of drinking a glass of water (hydration is important, right?!!). The point is that if you take even a little step, like drinking a tiny bit more fluid, you can feel just a bit better - and that this makes taking other steps a bit easier too.

Anyone with me?

Positive for today is I had a half hour walk to work instead of my exercise bike. But the best news I've had for ages is that there is a new curly-hair specialist salon opening fairly near to me very soon and I cannot wait to get an appointment. My hair is a dry frizzy mess - I always tie it back and try to ignore it as it's either straightened and then completely flat and "meh" or au natural and looks like a birds nest. But this hairdresser is a curly hair specialist (currently working mobile but too far away to come to me) who, judging by the before & after pics and client reviews, is a complete miracle worker. I actually feel excited about what my hair could be like for the first time ever!

Wenchelda - Well done on the walk! That's brilliant!

Really exciting about the hair news too. I started going to a new salon about a year ago, and it's been really transformative. I went from having long reddish brown hair to short blonde! I can't explain it, but it made me feel like I could change other things in my life for the positive too.

I'm giving myself a smugly congratulatory pat on the back this morning as I managed to get to my allotment and do a few hours of work last night, as well as doing a walk. I've stuck to my calorie limit since Sunday, too. I think it's starting to settle down a bit, as I no longer feel quite so ravenous all the time.

Okay so I hadn't read the C25K and didn't realise it was going to take 30 mins...or that you only run 3 times in the first week.

So I like to think I made a rational decision and only played badminton. Its hard for me to go because I used to be quite good and now I just feel fat and incompetent on court. But I did it, and won more games than I lost so hopefully I can keep going in the future now I've faced up to it.

Well done Wench!

Morphene - that sounds REALLY sensible. I thought doing both sounded like a hell of a lot. Given that you've been feeling ill recently too, it makes sense to do one thing at a time.

I'm impressed with your badminton playing. That game is so much faster than it looks as a spectator! I am hopeless at it. I am sure you'll find your form sooner than you think. Re-learning something is very much faster than learning it the first time!

My friend is a gem. She's amazing. Because of her I'm back on my feet today and feeling almost normal, if a bit woozy. I've eaten and showered and everything!

I think the key to any exercise is to have fun. I was on a roller derby team for a while - I'm too scared of broken bones these days! - but it was a blast.

Yes yes yes

Just what I need

My goals are
Run 5 k few times a week
Cut sugar out completely
Stay happy and away from toxic people
And start back to psychotherapy ASAP

Welcome Looondonn!

I am having a total tizz today. I have a work related interview tomorrow and I just feel totally paralysed by the fear.There is so much I need to do to prepare and I just can't focus!

Morphene - time for a glass of water, maybe?

Try to remember that most of the work for tomorrow is already done. You've been doing it for years and years, in fact. The preparation you still have to do is minor by comparison.

Try to remember also that simply being a trooper gets you a long way these days .

Imagine you only have half the time to prepare that you actually have. If you were to take a position right outside yourself, as your own guardian angel, what would you tell yourself to focus on in that scenario? Do that. Anything in addition is a bonus.

Good luck! You got this. We are all rooting for you.

I think a glass of water is an excellent idea...if I could borrow you to chuck it in my face, that would be even better.

Man - I haven't felt this rough since I was made to apply for promotion.

You are really, really good at what you do. You wouldn't have got where you are if you hadn't been. Remember that.

You will be fine. Sip water. Breathe! And remember: what is the worst that can happen, really?

lol I drank so much water this afternoon I had to keep popping to the loo every 30 mins...I am now Well Hydrated. :)

I have decided to add "meditate daily" to my list because I've slipped up recently and miss it.

Thinking of you today, Morphene and keeping everything crossed that your interview goes well!

I feel absolutely crap this morning. A combination of tiredness and (sorry, TMI) bad period. I'm lucky, though, in that I can take things easy today and just potter with a bit of work and a bit of cleaning (which always makes me feel less stressed at this time).

Athing - meditation, eh? You'll be a Zen Master before a few weeks have passed! I know several people who absolutely swear by it.

I am feeling better this morning than most of yesterday...and in an hour I'll be in there!

I really can't get the hang of meditating...I've had many people recommend it, but the only time I could get anywhere close was when I was on AD's....and even then I was totally useless.

Do you think it isn't useful for some people or is it something I should persevere with?

Good luck today @morphene !

Checking in; accountability etc etc. Keeping it brief; diet / healthy eating plan is going quite well. Exercise not so much, though I plan to do a HIIT session today.

Everything else is on the back burner for a bit.

dance - one thing at a time! I'm a great believer in not trying to change everything at once. Maybe because I'm constitutionally a lazy cow . But I also think getting one thing right and cementing it in for a few weeks, and then putting the next building block in place a bit later stops it from feeling too overwhelming.

Celebrate what you HAVE done. You're eating healthily. That's a huge win. To quote Legally Blonde - SNAPS FOR DANCE!

That sounds really promising dance!

Well its done - I don't think I did very well though I hope to get the role anyway. Supposed to find out by the end of the day....or later if not the first choice....

Tonight I need to do C25K! No more excuses!

Morphene - Brilliantly well done! I don't think interviewees are the best placed people to judge their own performance - I bet you did way better than you think you did! Give yourself huge SNAPS for having gone, and got through it.

YAAAAAAAAY I got it!

Oh I feel like I can breathe again!

Thanks so much for the support - it might sound daft but it was so amazing to be able to write what I was feeling!

Oh wow, MANY MANY CONGRATULATIONS!!

Congratulations!!!

aww thanks guys!

Now you need to give me a telling off - I've abandoned c25k after the 5 minutes of brisk walking had me gasping and throat sore. I think I need more time to get over the cold...or maybe I'm being lazy...I find it incredibly difficult to tell the difference.

I least I have managed not to binge on celebratory cake for a change!

Morphene - far from telling you off, I'm giving you another for being so sensible and listening to your body and being gentle to yourself. They always say that with a cold, any symptoms below the neck should be listened to before you run. If it's just a runny nose, fine- but if you're gasping for breath and your lungs hurt - not fine. You did the right thing, and it's NOT lazy.

I also think you should take some time to congratulate yourself on your huge achievement. If that means a treat, so be it. I think sometimes we beat ourselves up when we don't do well, but we don't take time to give ourselves a pat on the back when we do, because - hey - we don't want to blow our own trumpet, or whatever. But it's super-important to take the time to say 'I DID AWESOME!' and to bathe in that. God knows, life doesn't yield many of those moments.

In that spirit, having stuck pretty religiously to my diet all week, I'm going out for a meal tonight at a fancy restaurant. It's a stupid splurge right now for me in a financial as well as a calorific sense - but I have been living on a building site since September, and I just need to feel like a civilised human being rather than like a cavewoman with dust in her hair. Just for a few hours.