Hysterectomy worries

[bertieallsort]

I'm having a hysterectomy in the next few weeks & I'm getting more & more anxious about it all, the physical & mental side of it. But right now my anxiety is mainly about intimacy after the surgery, im so worried that it'll change that part of my relationship. I know this is mainly my issue, my dh is being brilliant about it & says he loves me & it'll be fine but I can't help thinking I might ruin it all.

I guess I'm just wanting some advice from those who've been through it, anything I've tried to read online has been a bit scary (hystersisters etc) but my logical side knows people are more likely to share negative experiences than positive ones. I don't need any gory details (this one of first posts so I don't want anyone thinking I'm a troll or a voyeur!). I would just appreciate knowing whether I'm working myself into a panic over nothing.
Any advice about what I need for hospital or at home during my recovery would be appreciated too.

I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy about 6months ago, very reluctantly because I did worry about the emotional impact more than the physical recovery. I had extensive adhesions as well so my surgery was long but thankfully it was all done by laparoscope which makes a huge difference to your recovery in the days after surgery, abdominal surgery is much slower because you have a large wound.
I was quite sick for the first 24 hours but had virtually no pain because of a spinal given at the same time as general anaesthetic. I was up and about on day 2 and went home on day 3. On day 4 my husband took me out for a coffee in town! My surgeon advised me to walk as much as I could and in the first week I walked for about half an hour every day, gradually building up to an hour. No lifting bags of shopping or laundry or moving furniture allowed but at my 2 week check I was given the all clear for gentle yoga, cycling etc. I was tired for 6 weeks and had a rest most afternoons for about 3 weeks.
We resumed sex after 6 weeks and it was pretty ok, I had a small internal stitch which hadn’t quite dissolved and was a bit sore but we gradually returned to normal and it’s been fine for both of us. He can’t tell that anything has been done and neither can I now. I was convinced that I would feel somehow diminished or less womanly but I honestly don’t! Libido isn’t quite what it was probably because I had ovaries removed as well but I take HRT and I’m fairly ok with it.
Top tips would be to take plenty of nighties, lots of knickers, wet wipes and tissues and drink loads of water after your surgery, so easy to forget but it gets your insides moving, constipation is not fun! Family will need to load the washing machine and lift shopping as well as pans of water for cooking, get them to do most of the household stuff so that you can rest. Good luck and stay away from hystersisters!

Thanks so much for the reply, it's helped reassure me. I feel like the date for the op has came round so quickly but time has suddenly slowed right down so I have too much time to worry! I have adhesions too so not knowing whether they'll be able to do it laparoscopically or have to do a full abdominal until after the op is a bit daunting.

Hi, I had a full open hysterectomy due to my own adhesions. Have you had surgeries previously? Happy to answer anything that you want to ask X

I had a hysterectomy last June. I had many fibroids. I had a laparoscopic procedure and was only in hospital for 24 hours.

Recovery went really well. Agree with the gentle walking and taking things slow.

No difference in our sex life, apart from it's more frequent because there's no bleeding. I read up on it too and was worried that because my cervix was removed I'd experience no/less intense orgasm - which hasn't been the case at all. It's exactly the same.

It's honestly been the best thing. I even actually enjoyed the 6 weeks off work and was able to sleep, read and watch all 11 seasons of Bog Bang Theory.

Hi OP. I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy a few years ago and had the same worries as you. My first bit of advice would be "step away from hyster-sisters!" I terrified myself reading that website!
I can genuinely say that the operation did not change my sex life in any way. In fact, if anything, it has made it better as I am no longer bleeding and in pain for ten days in every 28. My husband took great pains afterwards to assure me that nothing felt any different "down there" and once the six week intimacy ban was over he booked us a night in a hotel where we went for dinner and shared a bottle of wine then went back to the hotel room and just took things really slowly. I know some people wouldn't like that as they may end up feeling under pressure to have sex even if they didn't feel ready but I promise it wasn't like that at all and he made it clear to me that it was just a nice night away and any intimacy would be purely a bonus.
At risk of sharing TMI, I had my cervix removed and the only. Hangs I have noticed since is that the moment I stand up after DTD his sperm literally dribbles straight back out of me. It's almost as if whatever used to hold some of it inside me just isn't there or isn't doing its job anymore. Also, even now I occasionally feel a small amount pain if he thrusts to hard but it is momentary and he knows that if I go "ooch" then he needs to be a bit more gentle.
Feel free to inbox me if you want to ask any questions or to discuss any worries about your upcoming op. For me it was genuinely the best decision I could have made and I have never looked back since.

Hi bertie I'm having one too in the next few weeks we will be fine 😊

Hi Zazu44 ☺️

Mine's on Wednesday and I've gone from being scared and apprehensive to just scared now. I had to start using the antic-bac body wash a few days ago so it's all became very real all of a sudden.

Did anyone else find themselves minimising their journey to get here? I keep thinking that maybe I've been making a big fuss over nothing, even though family and friends remind me of how much pain I get and that the hospitals don't just do these procedures for nothing.

We're all here with a handhold bertie, safety in numbers! it's so hard not to over google things isn't it? I find myself reading and rereading and even ALMOST having a look at op on YouTube 😳
What sort of things did you pack to take to hospital, and also if you work how have they been? I have a huge feeling that I'm being a pain having lots of time off x

It's a major operation, you need minimum of 6 weeks off. My consultant gave me a sick note for 6 weeks. If you do a manual job you will need a phased return.

The Hysterectomy Association site was good and if you can link up to monthly clubs (search ladies having ops in March) you can share experiences. On there is also a list of what to take into hospital and what you can do week by week, which I printed out and shared with my partner and teenagers. You shouldn't even be lifting a kettle the first week!

Be prepared to sleep loads, it exhausted me, I've never slept so much.

Big pants, stuff for wind, food to make you poo, drink loads of water, gentle walking, lots of rest and accept ALL help.

My bag is just about packed, but I suspect it'll be getting emptied & checked umpteen times tomorrow. I've taken advice from here, I've got several nighties & lots of very glamorous (!) big pants. I've remembered sanitary towels & got my bag of toiletries. I've remembered from being in hospital before about how dry it gets so I've got lip balms & hand cream. I was thinking of the fibre type stuff, I was looking for prunes etc & came across the baby food pouches of fruit! I thought that might be a plan if I've not got much appetite so I've got a selection of them. I got one of those tiny squeezy bottles of squash to add to my water as well. Loaded up my Kindle too. You can tell I've totally over thought all of this!
I don't work, I'm a stay at home mam with 3 kids. Luckily the youngest is 12 so they are good at sorting themselves out when needed but my dm & my mil have cleared their calendars for the next week to take some pressure off my dh while I'm in hospital.

Bertie you sound pretty well organised.

Take a dress to wear when you come out of hospital, I stupidly took leggings and struggled with bending and getting them on and off.

I also took headphones and iPod. Couldn't read, I'm too nosey and was very entertained by all the activity on the ward.

My DP also bought some pillows/cushions for the drive home, I put one over my stomach to protect it from the seatbelt. We had a 40 minute journey home.

I was surprised not to bleed much after the op, it was just light spotting.

Good luck

Today's the day, feeling slightly panicky now! I don't go to the hospital til lunchtime too so a whole morning of stressing out too.

Good luck, hope it goes smoothly

It will be fine, I had a full abdominal hysterectomy 5 years ago, best thing I’ve ever done. Just take it slowly, recovery takes longer than you think, but it’s worth it. Good luck

Hope it's all gone well xx

Yes thinking of you. Update us when you can

Hi, all went well & managed to do it laparoscopically. I’m feeling much better than I thought i would do far, crossing my fingers for a good night’s sleep ☺️

Great news bertie. Hope you have a peaceful night x

That's great news. Take it easy and enjoy a peaceful recuperation

bertie how are you doing? I'm a day ahead of you but only had ovaries and tubes removed. It's been a rough week, I've found the bloating very painful, a bit like having an entire buffalo rampaging around inside coupled with a dagger making stabbing movements. I've been taking lactulose and prune juice which has made things better than they could have been. I'm going to remove the dressings today, the incision in my navel is pretty painful, I'm apprehensive about seeing it. Where are you up to?

Morning, I'm doing ok. The tiredness is hitting me hard, even after all the advice about it it takes you by surprise. The bloating and the wind is so uncomfortable but I've found that a hot water bottle on my back is helping the discomfort as much as the painkillers. Got home yesterday morning and it's lovely to be in my own bed but it's so frustrating having to ask for help with everything!

Yes the tiredness was overwhelming and the wind. It does get better.

How are you feeling bertie?

I'm feeling a bit rough, still far better than I'd imagined I'd feel though. The bruising has come up over the last day or so which I wasn't expecting, I'm not sure if it's connected but I've felt a lot more nauseous since then. I'm just sleeping loads, still keeping my hot water bottle on my back & hugging a cushion to my stomach.

Remember it's early days bertie, the anaesthetic is still coming out of your system and your body has been through a big ordeal.
Can I ask how you're getting through the boredom of not doing anything? I've got books lined up and programs taped but not very good at not doing stuff and the thought of not driving for weeks fills me with dread.