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Original poster

Hysterectomy worries

113 replies

bertieallsort · 14/03/2018 10:11

I'm having a hysterectomy in the next few weeks & I'm getting more & more anxious about it all, the physical & mental side of it. But right now my anxiety is mainly about intimacy after the surgery, im so worried that it'll change that part of my relationship. I know this is mainly my issue, my dh is being brilliant about it & says he loves me & it'll be fine but I can't help thinking I might ruin it all.

I guess I'm just wanting some advice from those who've been through it, anything I've tried to read online has been a bit scary (hystersisters etc) but my logical side knows people are more likely to share negative experiences than positive ones. I don't need any gory details (this one of first posts so I don't want anyone thinking I'm a troll or a voyeur!). I would just appreciate knowing whether I'm working myself into a panic over nothing.
Any advice about what I need for hospital or at home during my recovery would be appreciated too.

OP posts:
Original poster
bertieallsort · 27/03/2018 10:18

I thought I'd be the same but so far I'm finding that I'm struggling to concentrate on much anyway that I'm not particularly bored. I've been watching some tv that I'd been saving especially but I often have to rewind stuff as I realise I haven't entirely been paying attention so I'm not sure what's going on! I've started just watching things I've already seen instead.
I know exactly what people mean now about taking things really easily, after being taken for a quiet lunch yesterday and feeling tired but ok I decided to help out with a few dishes. Made sure I wasn't picking up anything heavier than a cuppa but afterwards I felt so awful & tired I cried all over my poor dh (who'd swiftly brought my dishwashing to a halt when he noticed what I was up to). I feel like I've been hit by a truck today & noticed a bit of spotting too, not enough to be any concern but enough to make me think I need to rest.

OP posts:
Zazu44 · 27/03/2018 10:30

Bertie I'm sure I read somewhere that you shouldn't be doing anything for the 1st week or 2, no wonder you were weepy! Yours isn't even a week. Be careful x

Costacoffeeplease · 27/03/2018 10:38

No one appreciates quite how hard the first few weeks are, and just how long it takes to recover from a hysterectomy, until they’ve been there. Even on days you feel better you still have to take it very easy or it will just take even longer. Patience is the key

BG2015 · 27/03/2018 21:31

I watched 11 seasons of the Big Bang Theory. I fell asleep during some of them. They're only 20 minutes long so easy watching.

I tried to read but couldn't concentrate. The spotting is probably internal stitches beginning to disintegrate.

Cocolepew · 27/03/2018 21:38

A physio told me after my hysterectomy to do 6 large huffs/breathes out to help clear the GA out. She said it takes about 2 weeks for it to be cleared from your body.
DO NOT do anything! Seriously I stayed in bed for a week reading, with the occassional wander around the house.

Zazu44 · 28/03/2018 16:30

I've got my pre op appt tomorrow, is there anything I need to ask?

Original poster
bertieallsort · 28/03/2018 20:06

If it's anything like my pre-op they were very comprehensive, they went through the whole experience from beginning to end and I had all the answers I needed before I had the chance to ask anything! Have they gave you any idea about the procedure you'll be having or how long you'll be in hospital for?

I've just realised there's things that I either didn't find out from my discharge or that I don't remember being told if anyone can help? When did anyone start having baths/showers? I've just been having flannel washes and I've realised I have no clue when I can do otherwise. I'm not having any post op appointments or check ups to ask anyone or to get the go-ahead.

OP posts:
Zazu44 · 28/03/2018 20:26

There's a good website hysterectomy-association.org. Some good advice on the forum and people to chat with who've been through it. I really want to ask for an abdominal hysterectomy, I'm more scared that they'll miss something doing it laparoscopyly ( is that a word?) I had one about a month ago and felt crap afterwards for ages, also been getting pains around ovaries. Should be in hospital 1 night, and I think you can have showers the day after op x

Cocolepew · 28/03/2018 21:03

I had a shower the next day.

Zazu44 · 01/04/2018 07:47

How are you feeling bertie? 😊

Original poster
bertieallsort · 01/04/2018 11:12

I'm not so bad ☺️ Going a bit loopy not being able to do much though. Tried to wean myself down off my painkillers but not quite ready for that yet but I think as you can tell from my earlier posts, I've probably not been resting as much as I should. I've rectified that over the last few days though, I think that might be the trickiest part of the whole process so far. It's hard to walk the fine line between resting and getting some of the light mobility etc, it's too easy to feel like you can just do a few things because you're feeling ok and then pay the price later.
On the whole everything is good though, all the incisions etc are healing much quicker than I thought they would. It's definitely nowhere near the experience I thought it was going to be, moral of the story is to stay away from Hystersisters etc!!
How are you feeling after your Pre op appointment Zazu?

OP posts:
noimnottryingforagirl · 01/04/2018 14:03

Just seen this thread searching for hysterectomy ! Due one in ten days and keen to what to really expect recovery wise! Bertieallsort did you have ovaries out too? What pain relief did they send you home with?

Zazu44 · 01/04/2018 16:34

Pre op went well, had to see the anaesthetist as had a few problems after hysteroscopy, had a panic and asked for an abdominal instead of keyhole, worried that might not be able to see enough and leave something sinister behind! I know, not rational at all and a lovely nurse talked me down 😊 After feeling quite brave, I now feel tearful and scared and needy - none of which are me! Was going to be dropped off at the door but now want my partner to be with me, but we are not in a very good place at the moment and he hates any kind of being ill so not sure what I'll do, prob go on my own.
Sorry it's such a long text but getting myself in a complete pickle 😳

Welcome noimnottryingforagirl what date is your op, mine is 10th. Xx

noimnottryingforagirl · 01/04/2018 17:10

10th too Zazu44. What happened at pre-op ? Gynaecologist already gone through what she is going to do - using a model ! I've had a battle with hospital and am in a lot of pain so really counting down the days!

Zazu44 · 01/04/2018 17:47

It's so lovely to have support on here. It's been invaluable chatting to bertie. Pre op is just height, weight, general lbs and massive questionnaire to go through with the nurse. They just go over all the what not/ what to do's and hand out leaflets on hysterectomy and blood transfusions.
When is your pre op appt and are you having keyhole surgery? x

noimnottryingforagirl · 01/04/2018 18:06

Pre-op is Thurs and I'm having a laparascope assisted vaginal hysterectomy plus ovaries out ! Be good to have support I'm worried I will be incredibly bored and get depressed!

Zazu44 · 01/04/2018 19:03

Same as me! Womb uterus ovaries and cervix

Zazu44 · 01/04/2018 19:04

Sorry just realised I put womb and uterus. Obviously I haven't got 2!! Stress of it all 😄

BG2015 · 01/04/2018 20:28

My DP wasn't allowed to stay with me. I had to be at the ward at 8 am and my op was at 9.30am, my DP saw me onto the ward and then had to go.

He came back for visiting that evening

Original poster
bertieallsort · 02/04/2018 10:14

Morning ☺️ Welcome @noimnottryingforagirl !

I've kept my ovaries, and the hospital sent me home with codeine and paracetamol which I'm still taking. I've tried to cut down on them and I'm not quite there yet, though I'm able to go longer between doses now so there's definite progress. I'm having a bit of bother with getting to sleep at the moment, not from pain but just from finding it hard to get comfortable which I was suppose is to be expected when everything is still rearranging itself inside me! Managed to get comfortable last night using a v-shaped pillow, with one side between my knees and the other bit cradling around my stomach.

@Zazu44 I struggle really badly with anxiety and wanted my dh with me every step of the way but he had to leave me at the door to the pre-op ward. I thought I'd be in bits but actually the staff were so wonderful and there's so much admin and practicalities to be done that I really didn't have much time to get stressed. I remember the staff making me laugh a lot, and the main memory that comes back to me is from the anaesthetic room. The staff were lovely and chatty but I remember feeling the anxiety building and without a word the nurse held my hand and just gently stroked it and the next I knew I was waking up to another smiling face in the recovery room.

OP posts:
Zazu44 · 02/04/2018 10:23

Thanks bertie 😘 we are very lucky to have such an amazing NHS and wonderful stuff. Feeling stronger today, have a busy week. I'm going on my own to hospital now and I'll get a friend to collect me as dp and I are not in a good place!
I'm looking at it from the point of a new beginning for me in every aspect of life.

Thankyou for the lovely support it means a lot xx

noimnottryingforagirl · 02/04/2018 12:58

I've started a list of things to do while off mainly craft and laptop (idea kitchen) I'm lucky that dh is v supportive although I will need to accept low cleanliness levels but all will be fed and washing will be done! It's boredom and feeling isolated I'm dreading although also like zazu44 really hoping it will be a fresh start this has been ongoing since 2012! NHS staff are lovely and very kind if you get anxious but the system is v v slow if it quality of life rather than actual life (they really are fantastic when it anything life threatening in my experience)

noimnottryingforagirl · 04/04/2018 09:57

Bertieallsort how are you doing? Are you horribly bored? Feeling better? Flowers

Original poster
bertieallsort · 04/04/2018 14:16

I'm very up and down at the moment, I was feeling really good yesterday but then I'm quite sore again today. I was worried because I was sore on one side of my stomach so my dh had a look at my incision on that side and he said it looked really good, healing great and getting better everyday. But he had noticed that the bruising I had around it had gone from underneath it but had came up above it. I'm not too concerned though, my mam is a nurse and said some of the internal deep bruising would take a while to come up so I expect it's that. I've been sleeping on that side all the time too so that probable has some bearing too. On the whole though I'm feeling surprisingly good, I'm a bit wary that I don't seem to have had a massive emotional response as yet, especially as I was struggling with it all so much beforehand. I have a few tears but just feeling over sensitive at times, nothing to do with the actual surgery etc if you know what I mean.

I am getting awfully bored and my sleep pattern has gone completely out of the window, just binge watching stuff on Netflix and reading lots. I've been planning to go out for little walks but the weather here has been absolutely dreadful at the moment and I don't want to get caught in a downpour. I am wondering what and when I'll be able to get back to exercise, obviously I've got a while yet as I'm 2 weeks post-op today but it would be good to have something to aim for. I run and I love spinning classes and pound classes have just started really close to home and I think I'd love them. How did the ladies on here who are post op on here manage with getting active again?

OP posts:
BG2015 · 04/04/2018 16:06

Bertie I was back at the gym by 8 weeks. I started off just doing a slow 10-15 minute jog and took it easy. I didn't lift any weights or anything, just treadmill, cross trainer.

Went back to spin too. My spin instructor just said to take it easy and sit down more if I needed to.

I did do too much on the rower one day and boy did I know it. Your body just tells you.