Crack open the wine... it's CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 61!

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Some of us have been here a while and others have only just joined. If you're lurking, feel free to say hello. We are quite friendly really.

You are welcome to join us, whatever sort of cancer you have, or if you're waiting for tests to find out whether you have cancer or not (we hope not!)

Our previous thread is here. Do check it out if you're new as there's lots of useful information in the first few posts.

Best wishes to everyone who finds themselves here

Me again, de-lurking once more.

Leslie I'm really sorry to read that you''ve been in pain, and I hope there was a perfect cuppa or fabulous cake that made the trip to the cafe worth it! I hope you and your hair get home for a good old lathering soon.

Also, I want to tell you that I luffs you a bit for always being so kind, and paying such careful attention to everyone else despite going through your own crapola. You've been a beacon of calm... a lighthouse of love and your words have seen me safely down from the metaphorical cliff a few times. Thank you.

And to everyone else that takes time to write words that comfort others, thank you too.

Hi all,

miles good luck today, I hope it all goes well.

Lesley I really hope you get home today I’ve got everything crossed for you.

I just wanted to thank you all for the help last week when I was feeling so low. Your messages made such a difference. This weekend I have been very busy and I think gone into denial about it all a little. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing but it certainly felt better than being overwhelmed with worry. This morning I woke up and started checking the lumps again which is probably pointless at the moment as there’s nothing that can be done. I’m sure I’m feeling more than the 3 that the GP felt but who knows. A week today and I’ll have some answers. I’m looking forward to the appointment and dreading it in equal measure, if that makes sense?

Hoping for a good week for everyone

Just checking in to see if there's any news of Leslie? I hope you're home lovely. I second what Tessalators says - you have been the beacon/lighthouse for all us. I hope you can feel the strength of our gratitude and affection for you Leslie

Just popping on to wave at you all.

I'm hoping that once I get my (probable) diagnosis I'll have a bit more to give, thread wise.

Lesley you were in my thoughts today as were the rest of you. I find this so hard to talk about Irl without being irritatingly breezy. (I don't know if anyone else finds it irritating, but I'm getting on my own tits).

Stitches out in my armpit was first today. It was ok (apart from one stitch which the nurse said seemed to have about 15 knots - she showed me afterwards), but it made me feel nauseous and shaky.

This feeling then followed me to my bone-marrow appointment, so that they only managed to take the fluid and not the marrow, because I was in such a lot of pain, and was pathetically crying .

I think I feel ground down by it all, and it's undermining my capacity for stoicism.

Thanks for the advice iVampire. I have actually been through the process before thirteen years ago, and forgot how utterly unpleasant it is!

Anyway, that's enough venting from me. Have a nice evening everyone.

Miles I am sorry things were grim today. It sounds like a lot to have to take on at once.

Thanks to purple, thyme and Leslie for your understanding and reassurance. You and all of the rest of the posters here provide such a valuable, safe and supportive space when real life is a bit too business-as-usual.

miles I'm sorry you've had such a shitty day. That all sounds pretty scary. Do you have to repeat it if they didn't get quite what they needed?

leslie how are you?

I've finally had approval from bupa to have surgery. Just the small matter of getting our insurance policy reinstated now, I'm not optimistic. The hr dept of dh's old company is well meaning but swamped.

Miles- "I think I feel ground down by it all, and it's undermining my capacity for stoicism."

I think I can safely say that you are not alone. I don't believe there is a single one of us on here who has not been where you were today. It's not just shit, it's double, triple, quadruple, infinity shit. There is no option other than to endure as best we can.

There is no such thing as 'pathetically crying'. I try to never look at anything! For me, pain is only a part of it all. It's the anticipation, the fear, the shock, the loss of confidence.... As screw says ^, this is a safe space. Feel free to rant.

Miles I totally agree with TQ there really isn't such a thing as pathetically crying when you have all this to deal with, I remember driving myself to hospital appointments and crying all the way there, even when it was just to speak to the doctors I'm stoic around everyone else but I'm a gibbering wreck when I'm by myself.

I've just got back from speaking to my consultant and she couldn't see anything on my cervix so I'm quietly celebrating a little. I need to go back in 6 weeks for another CT/MRI scan to check that the chemo/radio has worked

Miles Sorry to hear your day was shitty
mrsrhod That's great news about BUPA. Fingers crossed re the ins policy.
purple We are quietly celebrating with you

Good Evening Lacies ,

I was diagnosed with breast cancer Nov 14.

Its been nearly 3 years since my periods stopped during chemo. I am now 49.
Yesterday and today I have passed a couple of drops of pink blood and this evening I have a slight period pain very low down.

Any advice please....and do I call the doctor or get in touch with my breast care nurse ?

Hi cleanas, my specialist subject. Were you considered to be post menopausal when your treatment finished?

In my experience the bc nurses don't 'do' gynae issues even if they could be linked to your treatment. I Was advised to see my gp for an urgent referral to gynaecology. There are lots of different things it could be depending on what drugs you had/have and what your menopausal state is meant to be. It could just be that your periods are returning but if you are taking post menopausal drugs for your cancer i.e. Letrozole or anastrazole you need to be seen for tests. Can you say what your situation is a bit more?

Just want to second Tesselator's excellent and well-deserved words for Leslie. They are perfect - I have nothing to add.
Leslie, did they let you go home today??
purple excellent - joining you in quiet celebration.
miles we have all been there. Stoicism (however well meant - after all, we do it for other people, especially the people we love most) is totally exhausting.
Happy I am thinking of you. I know it's tempting (in a terrible way) but honestly you might feel better if you can stop yourself poking at the lumps and imagining whatever you are imagining. You can't possibly know, so you will just drive yourself crazy. As one of the wonderful people on this thread said to me at a similar time, now is the time to distract yourself - clean out your wardrobe, organise your holiday photos, etc etc.
I had a followup with my surgeon today and the third test on my lymph nodes was clear! He aspirated a fair amount of gunk that had accumulated at my lumpectomy site, too, and my poor boob is feeling much better. Went straight from there to the oncologist to plan my radiotherapy. The tattoos weren't nearly as bad as a friend had told me they would be.

Thank you gilbert.

I was pre menopausal and have been taking Tamoxifen for 2 1/2 years

Ok, tamoxifen will suppress periods although it is possible to still have some bleeding. However it can also cause uterine cancer so any bleeding like you're having now should be investigated. When this happened to me the first time the bleeding quickly became extremely heavy and the gp sent me for a pelvic and trans vaginal scan to check the uterine lining. It was ok. The second and third time I had the same scans plus a hysteroscopy with biopsies taken. Again all fine and now I'm waiting for my ovaries to be removed to stop it all. My advice would be to see your gp asap, if I explain it's cancer related to the receptionist they always get me in quickly, and ask for a referral. Your gp should jump at tamoxifen related bleeding. Having said all that please don't panic, I think it's rare but needs checking.

genie that's great news and I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable. I must say your hospital are getting you through the system amazingly fast. The tattoos are fine, although I had a trainee and she was generous with the ink. I've considered having them removed but I tend not to notice them much now.

Thank you so much Gilbert x

Genie the tattoo /radiotherapy planning was hilarious....like something out if pkayschool with sheets of clear plastic and rulers.. .I got terrible giggles. Ask for ultraviolet ones...then they won't show again...um unless you're out clubbing!!!!!
MrsR the tamoxifen...no periods thing...am now fretting as I'm still as regular as anything after about 8 months...though they are slightly lighter...do they tail off?? Don't want to Google as then I get over enthusiastic!!
Happy...im thinking of you.. and think I agree with Genie...no prodding!!!
Leslie...thinking of you masses...hope you managed to escape hospital and are happily snoozing at home with clean hair!!
Love to everyone else...and um cake because that's always a good thing...

freddie I don't think there is anything wrong with having regular periods still. The problem seems to be when they've been absent for a while and then you get unexpected bleeding which could be a sign of endometrial cancer. You obviously have vigorous ovaries too.

Thank you MrsR...its one of my worries that I naturally produce lots of oestrogen...i always imagine the tamoxifen has to work overtime....snd will eventually go on strike....eeeeeeeeek!!

I know what you mean, my ovaries just won't die and I'm 53.

Hello. Ggirl pointed me over to this thread. Rushed into hospital last Thursday with abdo pain and they found a tumour. Op to remove most of colon that night and now out of hospital and waiting for test results to see what treatment/prognosis is. Very worried about everything and been discharged without adequate pain meds post-surgery (paracetamol and ibuprofen only after being on dilaudid in hospital) so not really able to sleep much. Looking forward to meeting you all to everyone!

Leslie
Also, I want to tell you that I luffs you a bit for always being so kind, and paying such careful attention to everyone else despite going through your own crapola. You've been a beacon of calm... a lighthouse of love and your words have seen me safely down from the metaphorical cliff a few times. Thank you.

This with bells on !
thanks for putting it so well StandByYourTesselators

MrsRhod - I don't think the medical profession knows v much about ovaries. I was 72 when mine were removed and was assured I wouldn't notice the difference. But I certainly did! Hot flushes, insomnia, facial hair. The classic stereotype, I even shoplifted a packet of Tena Lady. (By mistake, obvs. If I were going to take up shoplifting, I'd be aiming higher.)

Leslie - I second everything the others have said. This thread has made so much difference to so many people. I often think of MaryAnnSingleton (MAS) who started it. That was a tough act to follow and you're doing brilliantly.

Well that's given me something to think about thymeout, I feel like I've been through the menopause three times already on tamoxifen, anastrazole and zoladex, what's one more? To look at it another way if my ovaries are still producing any oestrogen they need to come out to help prevent future cancer, I'm 8/8 really receptive. It's not a great situation, this shouldn't have happened I just have to make the best of it and believe me I've agonised over whether to go ahead or not.

Welcome Tayto. Sorry you find yourself here. It sounds like it's all happened very quickly for you. The one thing that the medical staff impressed on me, was not to put up with pain. Can you see your GP to get something stronger? I am a poor sleeper so you have my sympathy. I think everyone will agree that waiting for tests/results is the very worst time. Hopefully you have a date for the results and will get some plan for moving forward.

Leslie You are still in my thoughts. I hope you're home (with clean hair)