To visit the walk in centre?

[Sienna333]

The top of my bumcrack has a small white/flesh coloured spot on it and although it looks insignificant, it is stinging like mad and I can barely sit. AIBU to go to the walk in centre? I can't take a minute more of this and what's worse is that I am on my period :(

I have a Pilonidal Cyst, it lies dormant but twice this year it has flared up into an abscess, making it extremely painful and itchy

I am just recovering from the latest one, I'm on industrial strength antibiotics and because it burst a bit, but not totally I see the nurse a few times a week to have it dressed

The nurse said that if it flares up again she'll refer me to have it surgically removed

Please get it looked at OP, just in case, you don't want to mess about with a Pilonidal Cyst, the infection alone can make you feel quite unwell

Thanks for all the kind posts, I promise they are helping as they bring me comfort and reassurance. I know I probably come across as a complete weirdo but as I said, My mind has convinced me I have cancer or an inflammatory disease and as I said before, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, that level of fear I mean.
I am surprised people aren't more shocked at the bleeding however but also, reassured.

Nike, Every time I have seen a doctor, they have taken my heart rate and it has been through the roof which tells them how anxious I am. They also see it in my face like the weak person I am. I am not dismissing the fact I need to
start some CBT but it's hard when I already feel there is no point as I will have to deal with a chronic illness soon and I guess I just feel incredibly overwhelmed and drained. I am also ashamed of how weak I am as a person to get into such a state about my health. Especially when I used to not worry about my health at all.

I know you think your words of reassurance are falling on deaf ears but quite frankly, some of your kind and comforting reassurances are all that are getting me through the day.

YOU NEED TO TELL THEM. You need to spell it out in words of one syllable - I AM VERY ANXIOUS. I KNOW I AM NOT BEING RATIONAL. PLEASE HELP.

Hoping that a busy and overworked doctor who doesn't know you from Adam is going to pick up that a high heart rate is because of extreme anxiety is totally irrational.

Do you want to live like this? Really? Lurching from one "health crisis" to the next, being in tears, worried you're dying?

juddy OP is acting just like I did in the past on another forum. She is not having you on.

How you dealt with your health anxiety does not mean that everyone will deal with it the same way.

I don't feel I wasted any of my GP appointments as they all ended up focusing on my MH, possible medication then therapy once I accepted I needed help. I have no shits to give if people think I was a NHS time waster. Those appointments were valuable to me and helping me see the need for help.

All the tough love in the world w ont pull OP out of this right now. Berating her is not going to change anything except make somone who is mentally unwell feel worse.

Where the OP is right now is a terrifying place to be. Kindness, and that doesn't mean reassurance, is needed. You can berate her but you will change nothing. So why do it?

Have you ever tried any anxiety medication before? E.g. propanolal works well for the physical symptoms such as high heart rate. Also doing CBT is like going to the gym - you have to work at it, like exercise for your brain.

op as I said earlier I am proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You need to access help because you deserve it. You are safe and you can get better. So much love going out to you.

You need help for anxiety and depression.

All your posts are about anxiety or being jealous of people who are happy, in relationships etc and crying because you don't feel loved or successful and you are very, very lonely.

Maybe these threads do get you some attention and make you feel listened to and cared for? It's not a bad thing to want that but it is RL help you need. And as you've seen, not everyone is nice and I guarantee that number will increase with the more anxiety driven threads you post because more people start to recognise you and then get frustrated because they feel like you're not taking advice.

I've seen it time and again here. Please seek real life help.

Thank you U2. I am glad you understand the health anxiety as I know to everyone else it must look like I am being plain silly but right now, I believe wholeheartedly that I have either a cancer or an inflammatory disease and that is a terrifying place to be. I know I need to address it but when I feel I have something like this, I don't think I should be seeking help to be told I am not physically ill because I do believe I am and that I am just fooling myself into believing I am not.

My aunt just rang and said she had internal piles for 3 weeks with heavy bleeding and said the symptoms I had were identical to hers. My dad also told me he had severe bleeding with piles for a month but his were external. He didn't see a doctor but then he could see the pile so knew it was that.

antidepressants might help? as well as talking therapy

sienna please promise you will tell the dr tomorrow about how serious your anxiety is. Please update us when you do. We are hear to listen and want you to get well.

Op I was just the same. I was dying and I knew it. My husband reassuring me made me feel like he was just lying to me. I was dying and no one was listening to me. My children would lose their mum too.

Of course I wasn't dying as I'm very much alive. Back then you couldn't convince me otherwise but eventually I was in the right place to accept I needed help for my MH. I had to hit rock bottom first. I really hope that you don't wait for as long as I did.

I enjoyed nothing. There was no point because I was dying. I look back and think of those years wasted. I still have to fight but I'm happy now. You're in the thick of the fog right now but some of us have been there and are coming out the other side. We didn't die and you aren't either. My thoughts were the same as yours. I brought very real physical symptoms on myself.

Propranol was amazing for me. I carry them with me but haven't taken one on 5 months and counting. I never thought that would be me.

I agree with the above posters, please go to the doctors tomorrow and address your anxiety.

Now I am out the other side of HA, I can't believe I ever felt the way I did, you can feel better too but you have to be straight with your GP.

Why don't you print out this thread OP & take it to the doctor's tomorrow - it would not only explain what your current thinking is but also highlight in really clear terms how bad your anxiety is. It's obvious to us but maybe your doctor isn't picking up on it enough.

You recently posted about your tummy didn't you and also on another anxiety forum.
Your health anxiety is really escalating and you need to go the GP about that and NOT your other issues. Don't even mention them, you are feeding the health anxiety 'dragon' every time you mention them. Reassurance is extremely temporary.

U2 I feel like that now. That the future is extremely bleak because I am so ill with either a cancer or an inflammatory disease. All I see is pain, illness, hospital vists and anxiety ahead of me. When people reassure me that I am ok it does help but then the anxiety returns.

I have ovarian cancer. Should I be finding life bleak? Is it a requirement or can I just say it is what it is and just deal with it?

Sienna you'll be happy with that more doctors and hospital appointments and more time wasted by you. Considering your so ill im amazed you have time to post on here. Theres nothing wrong with you! Your family shouldn't be enabaling you and you making out your at deaths door. Your not addressing the real problem your anxiety. You dont want to get help or feel better because then you won't get attention you crave. Throwing the word cancer about is shocking i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy but you seem to want to have it. Nobody can help you but yourself and the vicious circle continues.

Stop having a go at OP - she is not well mentally.

OP - please get help for your irrational anxiety. There is help out there. Mental illness is a bitch but treatable

when I feel I have something like this, I don't think I should be seeking help to be told I am not physically ill because I do believe I am and that I am just fooling myself into believing I am not.

I used to feel exactly this. That I was kidding myself thinking that I was anxious and almost as though allowing myself to think it was anxiety would be negligent - that I was failing to address my illness quickly enough and so would deserve to be ill IYSWIM.

It doesn't feel like irrational fear. Since it seems that you have symptoms the fear feels perfectly rational and logical.

These are all characteristics of HA.

As others have said CBT is hard work. It's a bit like training for a marathon. You allow yourself to have a rest and suddenly you're back on the sofa eating pizza. You have to be determined and work at it. It takes incredible resolve. You can get there though and come out the other side.

Make sure the doctor knows how you're feeling and no matter how irrelevant/like a distraction from the 'real' issue it feels to you right now, do ask for a CBT referral. One step at a time. That's your first step.

Thank you Madcatter x

don't think people are being fair here, OP is clearly not in the best of health (mental health). there's really no need to have a go, it must be awful to live your life convinced and terrified that something terrible is wrong with you physically!

you really need to address this with your doctor OP, for your own sake, life does not need to be this way I recall your other post about bowel problems and you seem to have gotten a touch more hysterical than last time, as obviously you feel these two events tie up. they don't, you are fine, the priority is your crippling anxiety just now!

When I had really bad HA this website helped.

www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms

Your symptoms sound very much like internal piles that I had. I’d like to say don’t worry, but I know what it’s like.

Please get help with your anxiety and DONT google. 💐💐

Some short term steps:

1. Don't Google
2. Stop asking for reassurance (especially from your anxious mum) - it's not making you feel any better and actually the constant asking will make you feel worse
3. Write a list of all the 'evidence' that this is just anxiety eg: 'My mum is anxious' 'Madcatter or U2 described feeling how I feel' 'I've been worried before and it was nothing'
4. Write a list of all the worries/anxieties you've had in the past that turned out to be nothing.
5. Try writing your fear down on a bit of paper and putting it away somewhere while you watch or read something distracting. If you want to think about the fear, get the bit of paper out and don't allow yourself to think about it otherwise.
6. As long as it's safe for you to do so take some paracetamol/ibuprofen. If you numb the pain/irritation a bit, it'll help to keep your mind off it. Obviously don't do this long term - I'm talking emergency measure to help you stop panicking tonight!

I will try all those Madcatter. The reassurance does bring comfort but I know it doesn't solve the issue. What does help is knowing that practically everyone who has posted thinks I am not going to be chronically ill. Yes, I still feel I am but people posting have followed the story through and not one has said "Sienna, I agree. You probably do have cancer or an inflammatory disease. ' or if they have I have missed it.

Thanks for the tips.

Bless you OP, you’re in such a state! Anxiety wise - I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters regarding your physical symptoms. I’ve had small amounts of bright red blood before after a —large— movement which I’ve ignored because it’s obvious to me that it’s just a tear.

I have experienced extreme anxiety, but not health-focussed. So I know where you’re coming from. I see a counsellor now and she decided that I needed to understand the mechanics of it in order to cope with it. Essentially, it’s a very primitive physical reaction to fear - your brain recognises a ‘threat’ and sends messages to the rest of your body, so you go in to ‘fight or flight’ mode. Your mind also recalls previous stressful experiences, so the longer this goes on, the quicker your body will respond in this ‘oh shit’ fashion.

Please, I understand that you want to understand your physical symptoms, but you have to mention your anxiety to your GP. You need immediate help.