My period makes me want to kill myself

[KevinTheDinosaur]

Hello
I realise I'm not exactly your average MN poster, but here we go.
I'm a 14 year old girl who's been having my period since I was 12. It started off alright, but soon after my cycle settled down I started getting period pains, mood swings, the standard. Soon after I turned 13, I had a period where I started TMI alert projectile vomitting and suffering from diarrhoea, culminating in me fainting and having to go to hospital, where I was diagnosed with dysmenorrhea.

Since then, I've been having tranexemic acid for the blood loss, mefenamic acid for the pain, and cyclizene for the nausea. Luckily, I haven't experienced a period that bad since then, apart from fainting in school a few times from blood loss and pain.

My problem is that now, my period seems to be having an effect on my mental health, as well as my physical.

The seven days I have my period, despite the medication and the aid of Buscopan, paracetamol, and ibuprofen, I am always in intense pain. On days two and three I cannot get out of bed without collapsing on my bedroom floor, even though my bleeding is about average, I get through a pack of pads per period. After my period finishes, I get a couple of days pain free, then I start getting pain above my hips, on either side, for about 5 days. Then for about another 5 days I get cramps, shaking hands, headaches, etc. Then, for 2 or 3 days, I'll get crippling pain, where I'll have to get by on paracetamol and buscopan. My eczema also flares up horrendously these days, resulting in bleeding and weeping. My mental health also becomes less than ideal. I cry at the smallest of things, and begin contemplating suicide. It's not even big things which set me off, just little things, and I end up sitting in lessons thinking that if I jumped out of the classroom window, my classmates would probably have a party. I haven't actually tried to commit suicide, I've only got as far as finding out how many pills of my other medicines I would need to take to kill myself. Then, the next day, 2 weeks after the first period, I'll start again.

I suppose I'm asking, what techniques do you have for dealing with the effect of your period on your health, and would you mind sharing them with me, so I can take back control of my life from my period?

Thank you for reading this, and I'm really sorry for the essay.

Yes, pregnancy cured me. I was 19. Having a baby is a rather drastic step!

I may well get flamed for this, but you can start the pill without your mum's consent.

Information.

Oh god OP that sounds horrible

I always had heavy, long, painful (nothing on yours) periods.

I went on antidepressants (age 19) for depression and they got more normal but when I came off them they started getting a bit worse again. A year and a bit later I got Nuva ring for contraception which forced me to have "perfect" periods but... that made my depression (which had returned because of something else) far worse.

I'm reluctant to use normal birth control again because of this but the upside is I've had fairly normal periods since stopping thought the last one was really painful

If you do go on birth control try and pay attention to your mental health.

Just echoing PPs - this is not normal and I'm so glad your mum is taking you to the gp.

One thing that might help them understand is to talk about it in terms of how it affects your life. So not "it's the worst pain I've ever had" because unfortunately people don't always just believe women when they say that. Instead try "it's so painful that I cannot go to school, I am unable to safely make a cup of tea, I am too anxious to complete tests" - whatever is true for you.

And I'm afraid your mum is dead wrong about the hormones - if hormones behaving badly are causing this, then the hormones are what need treating, not the symptoms. Don't try to persuade her, just say yes if the doctor suggests it. I'm another that was on the pill very early for non contraceptive reasons, it's really really common. You're right to have concerns and you should always be aware of side effects but it may be helpful.

Hiya OP.

Firstly you have my sympathies, I had really dreadful moods right before my period for about 4-5 days. I would spend this time bursting into tears, hating life, and falling out with all my friends. It was just awful.

It took another 8 years or so til I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety and put on the appropriate meds which sorted me out. I wish I'd done that (and therapy) years earlier, but got fobbed off by a rubbish doctor at 18.

Obviously the most important thing is to get checked out for endo/PCOS or similar. You should feel better when your physical health improves, but don't forget to be your own advocate when dealing with GPs. Life's too short to suffer like this.

Wishing you lots of luck in future. Come back and give us an update!
P.S. You seem pretty smart, I'm sure you'll go far

I used to have awful periods until I had my first child (wouldn't recommend this course of action!). Are you underweight/overweight? I think putting on some weight helped my periods and skin is clear as perhaps increased level of oestrogen. I've tried Dianette for acne, Cilest as a regular contraceptive which I'm on now. But being slightly overweight (1-2 stones) and perhaps age seems to have balanced out my hormones.

Some GPs can be dismissive - it's "natural" pain, put up with it etc.
I've had it pretty bad but this sounds horrific. Do you have a GP at your surgery who specialises in women's health? They can be excellent and refer you quickly for an ultrasound and to a specialist.
You shouldn't have to put up with this. I honestly wish I'd sorted things out when I was younger and now is the right time to do it.
Could it be related to PCOS/ endometrius? I was on dianette but it made me feel awful and periods were worse during the break.
Apparently, a cold compress to your stomach instead of a hot one is much better and sugar can make it a lot worse.
Good Luck

You need to see a gynaecologist, someone who specialises in this. Your GP just isn't specialised enough.

If you are suffering with severe PMS/PMDD then taking on board extra, synthetic progesterone via the Mini Pill, Mirena Coil, or even most brands of the The Pill, is a bad idea.

The depression/anxiety you suffer with every month are caused by the surge, then dramatic drop in your progesterone levels. Unfortunately, it sounds like you're one of us who is very sensitive to changes in your hormonal levels (me too).

If you see a gynaecologist they may well try you with oestrogen therapy (oestrogen is your 'feel good' hormone).

I wish you the very best of luck, but you will have a bit of a battle on your hands finding the correct treatment. But it is out there - and there's really no need for you to suffer like this.

I went on the pill at 13, for similar and it changed my life.

I think the key thing here could be to present it as a test case?

E.g side effects include increasing risk of x cancer but also decreased risk of y cancer.

The side effects could include weight gain etc etc, but you can try it, see if it helps, and if it does then it's worth the risks that come with it.

Synthetic hormones are pretty inoffensive things - some people will react badly and if so they shouldn't continue taking them. But if you react well they're really not much of a problem.

If your periods a) put you in so much pain you can't get out of bed and b) make you want to kill yourself, then you can afford some pretty serious side effects!

Just like we accept higher risks when we're treating cancer than we do for treating somethibg minor , it's appropriate to take higher risks (not that the pill is any higher risk than many otc meds really) to treat really bad pain. You're presumably missing your education as well - that's gonna cause real difficulties if it carries on through gcse years.

It really changed my life, and I couldn't recommend it highly enough.

I was taking ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine , and then got out on tranexamic acid but was still taking huge quantities of pain killers. Nothing was stopping the pain and the bleeding. My mood was really low and I just felt awful a lot of the time. Once on the combined pill I was like a new person.

You can always stop taking it if it doesn't agree with you.

Hi again

A few posters have mentioned Gillick Competence- I know that's when your medical professional judges whether or not you're 'mature' or 'sensible' enough to be able to responsibly masks your own decisions about your healthcare, but as it is judged by the GP (I'm presuming) would I pass the guidelines?

Also, in my family there is a history of endometriosis on one side, and PCOS on the other, so would the doctor check for those conditions before prescribing me medication?

Additionally, some of the posters have mentioned they were diagnosed with depression as a separate issue from their periods, and I want to know, could that be a possibility for me? I don't think I'm depressed , am I?

Finally, thank you for the link MaQueen, but it doesn't work on my phone! Will it work on another browser/device?

Thank you all for your time, and I am sorry for asking stupid questions, but I don't have anyone else who I can really talk to about this.

Etymology, yes, I am in year 10, and to be frank my education would be a lot better without this affecting it. I got some EOY exam results back, and the feedback from almost all the teachers was "You did really well in the stuff you learnt in lessons, but you're not in all that many lessons. Maybe try and improve your attendance?"

I am trying, but when I can barely function, I have to admit school is one of the last things on my mind!

You're very welcome

I'm not very tecchy, but if you just type the address into your browser it should be okay.

I never suffered much physically with my periods. But as soon as I started my periods I have always struggled with hormonal mood swings, which (looking back) have often severely impacted on my life.

I really wish that I'd had access to proper, specialised help.

There's no such thing as a stupid question!

I didn't mean to suggest that you're definitely clinically depressed or anything like that- I'm no expert, of course, and I certainly can't diagnose anybody over the internet.

Just saying though, if the mood swings continue, don't be afraid to speak up about it. There's plenty of help out there if you look hard enough.

If there's a history of endometriosis and pcos then it's doubly important to push for referral/ a fix. I'm fairly sure the combined pill (and possibly others) are prescribed as treatments for both endometriosis and pcos because they mimic pregnancy so can prevent damage worsening (I Thinjk! - not totally sure about the mechanism.) Point out the effects on your school work, functionality and don't accept no for an answer.

You're extremely articulate. I'm sure you'll do a great job of explaining what you mean. Sometimes I write a list of the ways I want to explain my symptoms so I can't forget or get distracted.

From your family history and symptoms really does sound like you need a specialist gynaecology appt. I think any sensible gp will work with you and your mum to find the best solution. Bear in mind if you had say a thyroid problem you would take synthetic hormones to fix it. Sometimes that is what your body needs and when you are suffering so much I reckon your mum will help you do whatever it takes to get well.

Is this the Prof John Studd you are talking about MaQueen?

The one who is now 80 years old and has a lucrative private practice but was found guilty of serious professional misconduct for removing a patient's ovaries without her consent 20 years ago?

I'll keep my withered ovaries to myself, thanks.

OP please do ignore the post from the poster of the shrivelled ovaries. These are the credentials of the specialist, Consultant Professor of Gynaecology who I was referring to.

"He is a past chairman of the British Menopause Society, British Society for Psychosexual Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and International Society for Reproductive Medicine. He is a past President of the Section of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the Royal Society of Medicine.[1] At the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists he was on the Council for more than 20 years."

"Studd has been visiting professor at Duke University, Harvard, Yale, Cornell, and the University of Singapore. He was awarded the prize of the Kohn Foundation for services to Osteoporosis[1] and in 2006 was awarded the "Blair Bell" gold medal from the Royal Society of Medicine given to the doctor who has made the biggest lifetime contribution to his speciality "

He is considered the foremost, worldwide expert in his field by his peers.

Also, OP the fact that your symptoms run in your family history is a huge marker for you also suffering with the same. There appears to be a very strong genetic/hereditary link for hormonal mood swings and anxiety.

Looking back through my near family tree, and asking relatives, it's clear that virtually all of the women in my maternal line have suffered with this, as far back as my great grandmother.

Make sure that whoever you see is aware of your family history.

Good luck, and you will get this sorted, I am sure

Oh dear, you poor thing. Please please push your GP for a referral. I have endometriosis and probable adenomyosis. It took me 9 years to even get a referral as I was constantly fobbed off, and given every drug under the sun. Eventually, at the age of 23 I moved house, registered at a new doctors surgery, and had an initial consultation with them. "Have you seen a gynaecologist? I'll refer you." I practically cried.

Since then, I have had an exploratory laparoscopy (no treatment as surgeon felt my case was too severe for him and he passed me on to a more senior surgeon), a chemically induced menopause whilst I waited, and then a laparoscopy with laser removal of adhesions and endometrial tissue.

Unfortunately it then became clear that I had adenomyosis as well, so was offered hysterectomy, partial removal of my bowels (a particularly damaged site) or pregnancy. I was 27 and married by that time so we went with pregnancy. Had our beautiful daughter, and as soon as my periods came back it was clear that nothing had changed. So, I am now pregnant with #2 and will be pushing for a hysterectomy asap.

Obviously I don't want one at 31, but it's hard to weigh up risks. The pill has been linked to depression and I reacted badly as a teenager. I am willing to try a coil but am not viewing it as a miracle cure. I have a pack of progesterone only pill ready to go when my period returns after baby, and if I get on with that then I'll delay hysterectomy for a while. But I know it's in my future.

Anyway, my long answer is: pursue your GP for a referral. Nothing personal against GPs but they are not gynaecologists and they do not have the authority to tell you your pain is normal. Don't let them fob you off for 9 years, like I did.

I think I would insist on a referral. Do not let the GP fob you off. You're struggling mentally and physically and need to be sorted.

Good luck.

Getting the referral is just the start of the journey, all too often. But it is so important that you do see a gynaecologist OP. GPs do a sterling job, but like mine told me 'We only had one or two lectures on hormones'.

Just posting to offer sympathy, and to echo the advice of others to be persistent when you see your doctor - keep pushing until you receive an effective treatment plan and a referral to a gynaecologist if necessary. I suffered for thirty years because I let myself be fobbed off - I wish I could go back to my teenage self and tell her to be stronger. Wishing you the best of luck.

Hi There,

Just a quick reminder to everyone that we can't verify the medical advice or opinion given here so do make sure you see real life health professionals.

As you were....

Maqueen you continue to promote the services of Prof John Studd who was found guilty by the GMC of serious professional misconduct 20 years ago when he was 60.

Here's the report

He removed a 35 year old woman's ovaries without consultation or consent plunging her into menopause at least 10 years before that should happen.

Did you know he did that? Now you do, how do you feel about recommending his services to women on Mumsnet?

You've said yourself how dreadful you found your menopause and described how Prof Studd has agreed with you during your consultations.

So how do you feel about him inducing an instant menopause in someone at least 10 years before she needed to have it for no reason?

As it happens, I've found the menopause to be okay. I'm not saying that some women don't have a bad time, but I think it is important to give my perspective which is that I found it mostly fine.

It's important to offer a balanced view in case we scare people.

But I agree with you that the menopause is not great, so I find it odd that a doctor would induce an early menopause in a woman who didn't need to have one.

Prof Studd did that. Read the report.

For some reason best known to the GMC Prof Studd was allowed to keep his licence to practise and soon after moved into a lucrative private practice. He is now 80 years old. I don't know whether he is still working. Perhaps you can advise.

I have interviewed Prof Studd a few times on a professional basis as a journalist. On a personal basis I would prefer not to be treated by him. You rate him, I don't. I suppose it's a bit like TripAdvisor. I'm just trying to give a balanced view of someone who sells his services. You have no problem with people posting reviews on TripAdvisor, do you?

Or instead of being so boring I could have just said what FlissMumsnet said about seeking proper medical advice.