My period makes me want to kill myself

[KevinTheDinosaur]

Hello
I realise I'm not exactly your average MN poster, but here we go.
I'm a 14 year old girl who's been having my period since I was 12. It started off alright, but soon after my cycle settled down I started getting period pains, mood swings, the standard. Soon after I turned 13, I had a period where I started TMI alert projectile vomitting and suffering from diarrhoea, culminating in me fainting and having to go to hospital, where I was diagnosed with dysmenorrhea.

Since then, I've been having tranexemic acid for the blood loss, mefenamic acid for the pain, and cyclizene for the nausea. Luckily, I haven't experienced a period that bad since then, apart from fainting in school a few times from blood loss and pain.

My problem is that now, my period seems to be having an effect on my mental health, as well as my physical.

The seven days I have my period, despite the medication and the aid of Buscopan, paracetamol, and ibuprofen, I am always in intense pain. On days two and three I cannot get out of bed without collapsing on my bedroom floor, even though my bleeding is about average, I get through a pack of pads per period. After my period finishes, I get a couple of days pain free, then I start getting pain above my hips, on either side, for about 5 days. Then for about another 5 days I get cramps, shaking hands, headaches, etc. Then, for 2 or 3 days, I'll get crippling pain, where I'll have to get by on paracetamol and buscopan. My eczema also flares up horrendously these days, resulting in bleeding and weeping. My mental health also becomes less than ideal. I cry at the smallest of things, and begin contemplating suicide. It's not even big things which set me off, just little things, and I end up sitting in lessons thinking that if I jumped out of the classroom window, my classmates would probably have a party. I haven't actually tried to commit suicide, I've only got as far as finding out how many pills of my other medicines I would need to take to kill myself. Then, the next day, 2 weeks after the first period, I'll start again.

I suppose I'm asking, what techniques do you have for dealing with the effect of your period on your health, and would you mind sharing them with me, so I can take back control of my life from my period?

Thank you for reading this, and I'm really sorry for the essay.

Definitely recommend talking to your GP about the mini-pill. It can lessen or completely stop your periods, which is why I take it - I used to get very shaky, dizzy and sick and found that my time of the month had a negative impact on my depression and anxiety.

WOW I am sorry OP. You poor wee girl ...

Maybe you can ask to be put on the pill.

Periods are utterly horrendous and really do deserve the title 'the curse' that they have always had.

Yep do see your doctor sweetie. I hope things improve. I actually had less awful periods after I had had my first child; not that I am encouraging you to have a child any time soon, just that may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Wishing you well.

I just wanted to say, I feel your pain. I really do.

I have endometriosis and dysmenorrhea. Mine started in Primary school, and by the time I was 19, I'd had enough. I'd tried all sorts of medication, and several different pills. In the end I was taking the pill constantly to avoid periods altogether (not recommended!), and I was very very depressed. I did try to end things, but luckily didn't succeed. I actually fell pregnant (also not recommended!).

But, things got a lot better after having a child. Sorry, this isn't the best thing to say to you at 14. I got told at 14, go on the pill or get pregnant, that'll fix it.

I think what I'm trying to say is, when I look back, those times were so so dark, and periods took over my life.

But the life I have now, is so very different, I'm so glad I didn't succeed in ending it.

I would say, keep going back to the GP, keep making some noise, keep asking for help, try the pill.

In terms of the mental side, you need a supportive family/friend network who understand you. I didn't have that.

Wish you lots of luck xxx

OP I had this at your age it was absolutely horrendous. My heart goes out to you.

I tried all the meds you mentioned (some of the pills are HUGE aren't they?!) but they didn't help me at all.

I did go on the pill when I was 13 to control them. My doctor said take the pill back to back without a 7 day break and my periods pretty much stopped.

I also had a laparoscopy to rule out endometriosis and despite me suffering so much there was none of that at all.

I stopped taking the pill when I was about 19-20 because I noticed it was having a nasty decline on my mental health but my periods then became very light and easy to manage. Some months were just 3-4 days long!

Just wanted to put my experience across.

Get some help there's loads out there.

Also keep a very close eye on your iron. I was anemic all the time because of the blood loss and anemia can make periods heavier wouldn't you believe it.

So regular iron supplements is a must.

I have a similar level of pain, and when younger had flooding to go with it. The pain is better as I get older, plus I have found three things that make it just about bearable:

1. Codeine and paracetamol, combined the one that dissolves in water from day 1
2. Eat low in saturated fat foods the week before my period
3. Magnesium, iron and b vit supplements If I can manage it then walking non stop also helps, but that is not always possible. You have my sympathies, it's rotten.

Mine was like that at your age and I got put on the pill at 14. Microgynon. It was brilliant and I stayed on it years and years. Went from 2 week, heavy periods with horrible cramps, all over the map, to every 29 days like clockwork, 4 day periods, much lighter and hardly any pain. Then when I came off nearly 10 years later they stayed in the cycle the pill had set. A few late ones but nothing major. See your gp and ask them about the pill. Combined pill probably better as you don't want them to stop so much as regulate.

Hi, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. As I'm sure you know anyway, what you're going through isn't normal at all, and I'm sure something can be done to help you.
Your GP or a family planning clinic/ sexual health place should be able to offer suggestions and help to you, as other posters have said. Perhaps a form of pill may be the way forward (I first went on the combined pill at 16, and it really helped me), they will be able to give you prefer advice. Also I agree with a referral to a gynaecologist, as they may be able to get to the underlying issues/ the reason this is happening to you.
Is there anyone you can talk to about it? It may help you, perhaps they could even go with you to any appointments, for support

Your GP wants reporting

I was you 30 years ago. My GP (who at the time I thought was great) put me on combined pill and right enough they did settle down a LOT but they flared up every few years whenever whichever pill I was on stopped working.

The pill works because it effectively is a fake pregnancy hormone wise.

Please do NOT get a coil before having been thoroughly examined by a gynaecologist. One of the causes could be that the womb isn't sited as it should be and if you get a coil with that being the case there's a risk of rupturing the womb or even bowel.

What my GP should have done is referred me to a juvenile gynaecologist.

What you are experiencing is NOT normal.

PLEASE tell your mum as I am sure having raised such a thoughtful eloquent daughter she would want to support you and advocate for you.

Is there a different GP at your surgery? You don't have to see 'your' GP, you could change GP too. As a pp said you could go to your local sexual health clinic. They are experts in this part of the body.

You need a full blood count done. You are likely anaemic and may well also be deficient in folic acid and vitamin d (in fact that would explain the severe depression).

You also need a full gynae investigation. I would think laparoscopy.

I was basically fobbed off by many gp's over the years (male and female) I had 2 miscarriages and it was only because after the 2nd I needed surgery that it was discovered I had endometriosis.

I had 2 further surgeries, medical treatment (tablets) and then became pregnant with my daughter.

After having the treatment and my daughter it was much better but I still went back on the pill as it did help the symptoms. I also take a multivitamin plus vitamin d and iron when I need it. When I turned 40 my GP would not prescribe the pill any more I was instead treated with prostap which is basically triggering menopause.

To summarise :

Tell mum (or someone else who can go with you to GP and support you)

Go to a different GP/clinic

Insist on gynae referral

Maybe consider taking a multivitamin + minerals product and if these aren't included take iron and vit d too.

Good luck & it would be lovely if you were able to come back and tell us how you're getting on.

I had and have this too OP. My advice is as follows:
When you are feeling well write yourself a note that you can read when you are feeling low, reminding yourself that it will pass and these feelings are highly likely to be almost entirely caused by your hormones.
Keep a diary/journal as much info as possible regarding your symptoms both physical and mental (not so much on who you fancy/annoying teachers etc - do that somewhere else) That you can use for your own tracking as well as show to a doctor to evidence what you're going through
Go back to your doctor
Google menstrual activism. There are women out there who view menstruation in 'alternative' ways and who have been through what you have and even see getting their period as something joyful. It's been an eye opener for me and can be helpful in finding places to discuss periods and blood without feeling embarrassed.

Good luck

I was the same at 14 and it was eventually put down to uterus issues. I'd bleed through every 30 minutes and have horrendous pain - for context, bleeding through hourly is a sign of haemorrhage! My DM was the same.

I had microgynon and depo at separate times which helped a lot. By the time I was 19 I was back to "normal" and now on my mid 30s it's pain free, light and lasts 4 days so it won't last forever

Cerazette. Life changer for me. Go back to the doctor.

You poor thing OP. What you need is someone who will fight your corner, go with you to the GP and really push for a referral to a gynaecologist. Could one of your parents do this? Or if not another adult family member?

Heya,

Speak to your doctor and see if they will put you on the pill. The daily one that ensures you have no period.

I was put on the pill when I was younger to treat heavy/painful periods which caused horrible migraines.

I now have the depo injection and haven't had a period in years...

Speak to your GP.

Definitely back to GP for urgent gynae referral

Cerazette isn't necessarily the answer. A lot of people who get depressive symptoms before their periods react really badly to progesterone. I lasted 10 days into my first pack of Cerazette before I realised that while I was planning in detail how to kill mused, I'd been perfectly fine a fortnight before, so I stopped taking them immediately and went back to normal. I know several other people who have experienced this.

So my general advice is that anything you try should probably be done with proper medical supervision.

I think a lot of GPs are now prescribing Prozac from ovulation until the start of the period with pretty good results.

Hello again everybody, thank you all so much for your advice.

The general consensus seems to be that I need to go back to the GP, see a different one, and really push for a solution, (further investigation or the mini pill).
I have talked to my mum about what's been said on this thread, and she's going to phone the GP tomorrow for an appointment.

Also, a few people have asked if my mum is supporting me, and yes, she is, she takes my to the GP practically every other week, buys all the pain relief medications I use, takes time out of her work to order and collect the medications, she really does do a lot, but I suppose the problem is that the medication isn't enough.

Also, to everyone who has recommended tracking my period symptoms, thank you- I've been doing that since September, but only the physical aspects, so I may start to include the mental aspects too.

Also, yes I do have an iron deficiency, but it's my 'stored iron' (ferretin I think?) that I'm low in, so my dosage isn't that high. And I don't think I'm vitamin D deficient, as I had a blood test a couple of weeks ago for it and it came out clear.

Again, thank you for your advice, it really has helped me see that maybe this isn't quite normal and I should be pushing for help.

I suffered all my life with heavy and painful periods. Spent most of it on and off hormonal contraception.
The one thing that made a big difference was Starflower oil taken every single day. It made the pain almost go away completely. Doesn't affect the flow though but I could manage it better if I wasn't throwing up/having the squits as well.
Yes I had investigations for problems and nothing was found,I was just unlucky.
I now have a Mirena coil and no periods which is bliss.
Best of luck.

KevinTheDinosaur please be aware that the mini pill can make your periods worse.

I bled constantly for 3 months non-stop on the mini pill. I was very very unwell.

Only the combined pill worked for me. You might be fine with the mini pill but just be aware in case.

Hello again.
I'm so sorry I'm being a nuisance, but I have more questions to ask. So, my mum has managed to get me a GP appointment for Thursday, with a different GP

However, I don't know what to say to her to make her listen to me, and to stop her from fobbing me off with (another!) blood test. Normally, I just tell the GP what I said in the original post, but I want to make sure that this time she gives me a solution. How do I do that?

Also, after doing some reading, I've found that the answer seems to be either pregnancy or hormones. Obviously, I don't want to get pregnant at 14, and I've discussed hormones with my mum, but she does not want me to go on them (despite her taking the pill herself for period pain?). Now, I'm not so keen on hormones either, especially if they have as long a list of side effects as the pill, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything to put me out of constant pain. How should I convince my mum to allow me to go on the pill, if it is the only option?

Thank you for reading this, and I'm very sorry if this is an incoherent post, I'm in a very self-pitying state of mind right now, after returning from a day at school being told "You're always so ill/Ah yes, you keep fainting/I'm glad I'm not you, you're always in pain".

Thank you for reading this!

You poor thing. I remember this well, I was diagnosed with dysmenorrhea at a similar age, and I'm sorry to say that while the pill helped with my physical symptoms I developed really nasty emotional ones. I was filled with this rage that I'd never felt before and haven't since, it was quite scary

Everyone is different though, you might find it's a cure for you.

I wish I had advice but the only thing I did was ride it out with days off school, probably too much paracetamol and sleep.

Do you take time off school to deal with your symptoms? Are your school supportive?

At your age I think the doctor can assess your competencell to make that decision yourself (read about gillick competence). Perhaps write down a list of your symptoms and potential treatments suggested here and go through them with doctor. Outline in strongest terms the effect on your mental health and that you need something done immediately. Good luck

Ps. I had low ferritin and was given quite high dose iron. Get them to review that too.